Posts Tagged ‘Suicide’

So it’s Good Friday.  What is so good about it?

What is celebrated is JESUS crucified on the cross.

So HE died.  What is that to me?

It was for you…  for me… for the whole world…

There is an intimate, radical, and victorious reason HE did so to be remembered and for some to newly discover…

 

JESUS knew he was about to die before it happened.  HE mentions it to HIS disciples that it was imminent.

“As you know, the Passover is two days away—and the Son of Man will be handed over to be crucified.”  Matthew 26:2

JESUS makes it even more evident of HIS coming death by letting them know how important the woman is who poured out her perfume on HIM…

While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table.

When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. “Why this waste?” they asked. “This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.” 

Aware of this, Jesus said to them, “Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial. Truly I tell you, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.”  Matthew 26: 6-13

As HE shared the Last Supper with HIS disciples, HE also knew one of HIS disciples would betray HIM.  HE foreknew the previous event:   Then one of the Twelve—the one called Judas Iscariot—went to the chief priests and asked, “What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?” So they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver. 16 From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over.  Matthew 26:14

Even during the meal that night, JESUS made it known who would betray HIM.

Jesus replied, “The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me. The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born.”

Then Judas, the one who would betray him, said, “Surely you don’t mean me, Rabbi?”

Jesus answered, “You have said so.”  Matthew 23-25

Have you ever felt darkness of being betrayed by someone you knew well.  For you, it may be devastating.  JESUS knows and understands what you’ve felt and gone through…

Darkness would fall on Judas Iscariot.

When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.”

“What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.”

So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.  Matthew 27:3-5

You don’t need to respond like Judas!!…  You can turn back to JESUS, ask for forgiveness, and be restored to right relationship with GOD again…  If you have not known JESUS, you can turn to HIM for the first time and ask for forgiveness, ask JESUS to come into your heart and life, and repent to live the new life JESUS paid for, by HIS death, for you to have…

 

JESUS went on to say that night that all the disciples would not stay with HIM even when Peter said that he would still be there for HIM even if all the others weren’t.  Then Peter said he would even die with HIM.  The other disciples also said they would die with HIM.

Then Jesus told them, “This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written:

“‘I will strike the shepherd,
    and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’

But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.”

Peter replied, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.”

“Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.”

But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the other disciples said the same.  Matthew 26: 31-35

Have you ever experienced your friends or family not being there for you in your darkest hour?  JESUS knows and understand this so well…  HE is One who is there for you, will walk with you through it, and lead you into HIS Light if you will trust and abide i\n HIM while waiting for your breakthroughs in GOD’s timing and way…

Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. 41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

42 He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”

43 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. 44 So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.

45 Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. 46 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

Darkness fell upon JESUS.  HE understands the mental, emotional, and spiritual torment that can be experienced in this life…  An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. 44 And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. Luke 22: 43-44  Though JESUS’ experience is to a greater degree, have you ever felt so much anguish awakening from a nightmare or feel like you’re living a nightmare and you’re sweating profusely?  I have!  Again, HE can be relied upon to support you, care for you, and see you through it…  HE loves those with depression and/or mental illness.  It took me 19 years of dealing on and off with depression and mental illness with ongoing faith and trust being placed in JESUS to see HIS victories in my life, HIS peace finally breakthrough during extreme trials/temptations, and HIS perfect love cast out my fears…  If HE did it for me, HE will do it for you too…

JESUS is then betrayed by Judas Iscariot.  Soldiers advance to arrest JESUS.  The disciples pull their swords and one of the disciples cuts off a servant of the high priest’s ear to which JESUS immediately tells them to put away their swords and heals the servant’s ear back into place.

While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people. Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.” Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him.

Jesus replied, “Do what you came for, friend.”[d]

Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him. With that, one of Jesus’ companions reached for his sword, drew it out and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear.

“Put your sword back in its place,” Jesus said to him, “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword. Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?”

In that hour Jesus said to the crowd, “Am I leading a rebellion, that you have come out with swords and clubs to capture me? Every day I sat in the temple courts teaching, and you did not arrest me. But this has all taken place that the writings of the prophets might be fulfilled.” Then all the disciples deserted him and fled.  Matthew 26: 47-56

Have you ever felt abandoned and left all alone in your troubles?  Though JESUS could have been helped by GOD the FATHER and angels be called upon to save and deliver HIM, HE willingly surrendered.  Was this suicide?  Would he take HIS own life?  No, JESUS would not take HIS own life!!!  HE gave HIS own life… with willingness to die at the hands of those in earthly command by sinners for the benefit of all sinners who would turn to HIM to be saved…  There is an emphatic and distinct difference.  How can you give your life in service to JESUS, rather than take your life ending your opportunities to make a positive difference while alive?  You may find yourself in the midst of the darkest depression or season of your mental illness. If so, you need to rely on JESUS to care for you and even carry you along.  Then begin to practice loving and caring for yourself the way JESUS does until you are able to do that which may help others…  Let HIM rescue, restore, and redeem your life in order to have a testimony to share with others who need your compassion in being an example of what JESUS can also do for them…

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13

JESUS was brought before the Sanhedrin, where the chief priests looked for and made up reasons why JESUS should be put to death.  Peter followed within a crowd to see what would happen.  JESUS was accused falsely, spit at, and hit with fists…  During this time, Peter is noticed as one who was seen with JESUS.  Peter had come as far as he was able in his own strength to remain as near JESUS as he could muster.

Now Peter was sitting out in the courtyard, and a servant girl came to him. “You also were with Jesus of Galilee,” she said.

But he denied it before them all. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.

Then he went out to the gateway, where another servant girl saw him and said to the people there, “This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth.”

He denied it again, with an oath: “I don’t know the man!”

After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.”

Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!”

Immediately a rooster crowed. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly.  Matthew 26: 69-75

Darkness fell on Peter.  He failed in the fight, fell away in fear, and had forsaken JESUS whom he loved in moments of weakened faith.  Maybe you can relate on some level.  You haven’t lived up to who you thought you were or are meant to be.  You were broken by it. JESUS knows and understands!!!…

JESUS goes before the governor Pilate.  He asks JESUS if HE is the King of the Jews?  JESUS replied “You have said so.”  However, when the chief priests and elders were accusing HIM, HE said nothing in response.  Pilate did not want to hand JESUS over to be crucified.  He gave the option of releasing Barabbas, a criminal, or JESUS who is called the Messiah.  The crowd called for Barabbas to be freed.  He asked what do you want to do with JESUS.  They all yelled “crucify HIM!”  Pilate, still not wanting to have JESUS executed, asked for what crime HE had committed.  But the crowd yelled even louder “crucify HIM!”

Have you ever been accused of something you haven’t done?  Or have you ever felt a part of you die when someone accused of you something you did do wrong?  JESUS committed no crime, but was sentenced to die.  Yet he would die for “crimes”.  It was for our crimes (sins) that we have committed.

Then the governor’s soldiers took Jesus into the Praetorium and gathered the whole company of soldiers around him. They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, 29 and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand. Then they knelt in front of him and mocked him. “Hail, king of the Jews!” they said. 30 They spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again. 31 After they had mocked him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him away to crucify him.  Matthew 27: -31

Have you ever been humiliated and/or beaten down?  No one has experienced the depths of that which JESUS did.  So HE understands and is compassionate toward you.

Just as there were many who were appalled at him[c]
    his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any human being
    and his form marred beyond human likeness—  Isaiah 52:14

As the soldiers led HIM away, Simon from Cyrene was made to carry JESUS’ cross.  Two criminals were also executed on either side of JESUS.

When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. 34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”  Luke 23: 33-34

If JESUS forgave those who were putting HIM to death, wouldn’t HE forgive you for whatever you have done!  HE would and HE will…

One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!”

But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? 41 We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”

Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.[d]

Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”  Luke 23: 39-43

JESUS was able to also forgive and accept the criminal dying next to him who had no time to change his actions or fix/make course corrections for his life.  Yet that criminal acknowledged his sin, realized JESUS could save him, and simply asked JESUS to remember him. If you’re still breathing, you are able to turn to JESUS by acknowledging your sin to GOD, believing in JESUS being able to forgive and accept you, and trusting in HIM to remember you to live in HIS Kingdom forevermore…  Ask HIM…  Maybe, you’re remembering a time when you were closer to JESUS, but have strayed and wandered off the path.  You may still make a course correction and return to HIM who is the Shepherd and Overseer of your soul…  It is okay to restart a walk with HIM again…

It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last.  Luke 23: 44-46

Has depression and/or a mental illness darkened your view of life right now?  Has it felt as though the brightness of the sun once shining brightly in your life has faded somehow?  Though there is darkness now, there will be a day when the SON will shine all the more brighter again for you… for all who have believed and trusted in JESUS…  if not here, then for sure in Heaven…

GOD’s plan to punish the crimes committed by the world was to place all “our” sins upon HIS SON JESUS.  HE was to die for us, in our place, for GOD to be able to forgive us and take away our sins by HIS death…  All of GOD’s wrath fell upon JESUS, so it wouldn’t fall on us.  GOD let darkness cover the whole land.  Our whole darkness covered HIM.  HE died once and for all.  For you, for me, for all of us…  Will the Light shine again?  Look forward to reading my next post soon to understand better what I mean…  JESUS wouldn’t stay dead…  Life is about to be new…

Isaiah 53

The Suffering Servant

53 Who has believed our message?
And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
For He grew up before Him like a tender shoot,
And like a root out of parched ground;
He has no stately form or majesty
That we should look upon Him,
Nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him.
He was despised and forsaken of men,
A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief;
And like one from whom men hide their face
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.

Surely our griefs He Himself bore,
And our sorrows He carried;
Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten of God, and afflicted.
But He was pierced through for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities;
The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him,
And by His scourging we are healed.
All of us like sheep have gone astray,
Each of us has turned to his own way;
But the Lord has caused the iniquity of us all
To fall on Him.

He was oppressed and He was afflicted,
Yet He did not open His mouth;
Like a lamb that is led to slaughter,
And like a sheep that is silent before its shearers,
So He did not open His mouth.
By oppression and judgment He was taken away;
And as for His generation, who considered
That He was cut off out of the land of the living
For the transgression of my people, to whom the stroke was due?
His grave was assigned with wicked men,
Yet He was with a rich man in His death,
Because He had done no violence,
Nor was there any deceit in His mouth.

10 But the Lord was pleased
To crush Him, putting Him to grief;
If He would render Himself as a guilt offering,
He will see His offspring,
He will prolong His days,
And the good pleasure of the Lord will prosper in His hand.
11 As a result of the [p]anguish of His soul,
He will see it and be satisfied;
By His knowledge the Righteous One,
My Servant, will justify the many,
As He will bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore, I will allot Him a portion with the great,
And He will divide the booty with the strong;
Because He poured out Himself to death,
And was numbered with the transgressors;
Yet He Himself bore the sin of many,
And interceded for the transgressors.

 

I walk past my dad sleeping on the couch.  He came to get me.  I open the door slowly, quietly.  I close it behind me.  I realize now that it was unwise of me to not get help and go it on my own.  But I didn’t think of getting help until it was too late.  Ask for help if you need it!…

I walk away further than I had been into the darkest night.  I had been walking away for quite some time.  Away from faith and trust in JESUS.  Late nights, barely any sleep.  Trying to get through my university classes and working.  Hadn’t been eating much if not at all for weeks.  Thoughts began turning against me until suicidal.  I realize now I was needing to eat and nourish my body and was part of the reason my mind turned against myself.  Nourish your body so as not to do it damage or cause the wiring in the brain to malfunction/misfire…

As I walked onward, the intensity of the situation became unbearable.  GOD seemed to be warning me and I questioned it wondering if I should turn back.  Then I made the decision to go farther at a quicker pace.  Swarms of mosquitos appear out of nowhere attacking my hypersensitive self to make matters worse and more dreadful than at first.  It was torturous and had never happened to me before nor anytime after.  I think about turning back again.  I continue on instead.  I believe GOD was trying to stop me, but I wouldn’t listen.  I realize now that it wasn’t GOD’s heart for me to do.  GOD doesn’t tempt us to hurt ourselves or to commit suicide and wants us to trust HIM as HE works in and through us to become who HE’s called us to be…

I understand though how someone can get so low as to commit suicide.  I don’t judge, yet I know that GOD’s heart is not for this to be the outcome…

I ended up in a field of abandoned cars.  Ironic that this is how I felt.  Abandoned.  An empty shell of my former self.  Wide open to the elements.  No more human presence.  Not able to go anymore.  Broken spirit like all the engines there.  I sat in one of the doorless vehicles contemplating for hours whether I’d take my life or not.  Then I contemplated what seemed like just minutes or seconds. 2 or 3 times got ready then decided this is it.  It was then as if the enemy of my soul took his heavy pressuring off of me as I attempted.  It was as if he pushed me to that edge.  Then I was left all alone.  So I thought.  I realize now that GOD doesn’t give up on anyone and will help us when we turn back to HIM in trust continuing to live on until HE rebuilds us… Place your trust in GOD to get you through anything by choosing to endure and persevere for there is great reward if you do…

 

I came up for air.  I realize now GOD wouldn’t let me drown, because HE had a plan for my life…  But I didn’t know it then.  GOD has a plan for a hope and a future for you too…

 

Confused.  What did I do?  I was scared.  Cursed.  Accursed?  That is how I felt.  I realize now that GOD has great compassion and enduring mercy.  HE wouldn’t abandon me like the car in the broken empty graveyard.  But I didn’t know it then.  GOD will show you great compassion and enduring mercy to the most difficult things you’ve experienced in your life…  Let HIM help you too…

 

I’m still alive.  Am I though?  I felt so lost, ashamed, and guilt ridden as I walked back.  I realize now GOD would find me, heal me, and forgive me further along the healing journey.   But I didn’t know it then.  At some point GOD will find you, heal you inside, and forgive you too if you ask HIM, seek HIM, and knock for HIM when don’t give up (took time over 19 years to experience healing of various aspects of my mind, heart, soul, and spirit). JESUS is faithful and true and I couldn’t do it on my own without HIM… HE’s brought me this far and I give HIM thanks in all things the good, the bad, and the ugly…

 

As I reached the nearest road, a person pulled over and took me to my apartment with my dad unknowing of one of the darkest moments of my life.  I was so desperate that I didn’t even tell him the seriousness of what I was dealing with.  I realize now that GOD moved on my dad’s heart to come get me traveling over 800 miles after I called my mom and let her know I wasn’t doing good.  If you need to be honest and tell someone you need help too, do it…  It’s ok when you’re feeling so very weak to get support until you’re better… Don’t wait (especially if you’re thinking of suicide and/or not eating…) It’s ok…  Getting help is being human and alive…  If you don’t have anyone, feel free to reach out to me…  Email me at:  jeffandtami@truevine.net

There are emergency numbers to call on this website as well.

To be continued…

A world turn to ice

Rotation seems to stop -test

The roll of the dice

 

Grow up to release stress

Resistance to change

Succumb to nevertheless

 

Desire to be someone

Lost in the night from days depressed

Fade with disappearance of the sun

 

Where becomes the focus more or less

Inward view at darkness strange

Hell on earth felt with mental illness

 

Battle is in my mind

Life or death hangs in the balance hard pressed

Can’t help but look for a sign

 

Negative thoughts overtake intense

Fear and doubt narrows outlooks range

Future dread, past enchains, present in suspense

 

Let go self care

Minimalizing nourishment starving inside as my guest

Brain eating itself deceiving now aware

 

Cold heart mourn trespassed east to west

Soul torn in unrest

Frozen spirit forlorn tests distressed

Mind stuck on warning/warning/warning/warn?!. digress

Perfect storm enters inside to derange

Panic stricken hidden within head’s walls torments

 

Suicide has access

How come I acquiesce

Open the door, crossed the line oppressed

 

Suicidal hours pass suppress

Relentless until possess -success?!.

Drown out voices in excess

 

No such attempt a success…

Come up for air with will still to live reassess

Arise soaken wet convalesce

 

Hitch a ride back to civilization egress

At a loss that death somehow did outguess finality this time, how to process?

Did I go too far with the way I transgress?

 

Parents sullen expression hopeless -turn their back and walk away

My only hope is Heaven above to hear my cries to HIM confess

Scared the enemy stalks in this darkness; hearing breaths closing in for attack as I pray

 

In time JESUS answers to rescue, restore, redeem to repossess

Relationship with the LORD reestablished over the years with interchange

Taken back into the sheepfold to learn trust has been an ongoing process

 

All HE did for me I can’t express fully in my writings or with my spoken words, but I try

Yet, JESUS, is HIS precious name I will forever profess

Since HE has heard my wavering cries, I will walk with HIM no longer to deny for faith, hope, and love now unto others apply…

 

Frozen ice melts with the SON press on Heavenward progress

Saves lives, softens hearts, sanctifies minds, sets spirits free in wondrous and beautiful exchange

Casts out fear with perfect love HE has won to bless…

  

Keep and Hold

Posted: August 27, 2018 in suicidal, Suicide
Tags: ,

 

 

I miss you

I missed you

If given chance…

I’d listen to rants

If given moments…

I’d be there when your were low/tense

If given stance…

I’d stand in the gaps

If given time…

I’d reach out;  for you to find

If given contact…

I’d fill your want/lack

If given reality…

I’d free you from the malady

 

I missed you

I miss you

I’d hold you by the wrist

I’d stop the bleeding in my fist

I’d hold you tight to save your life insist

I’d help you fight temptations of death resist

I’d comfort you inside only forehead kissed

I’d build trust;  confide so pure as a child wished

I’d bring you Truth to hide in your heart enlist

I’d bring you Truth to subside the lies; renew your mind with each needed gist

I’d bring you Truth to abide your soul with Heaven’s bliss

I’d bring you Truth to arise your spirit in freedom exist

I’d stay close by until negativity, fears, and anxieties go away with strength desist

I’d walk beside until encouraged to always seek breakthrough and persist

I’d empower you with faith, hope, and love now and forevermore consist

 

I missed you

I miss you

I’d cup my hand over your mouth

I’d stop the inevitable overdose blackout

I’d be present with you as life went south

I’d be there to answer the cries you shout

I’d encourage you when there was a no hope drought

I’d hold your hand in the darkness to lead you out

I’d show you there’s a faith, hope, and love new route

I’d fight alongside you through each debilitating bout

I’d remind you that as a child of GOD you can carry a more than conqueror with courage clout

I’d help you overcome until new life would sprout

I’d see you grow and be amazed as you became stout

I’d be thankful how GOD turned it all around in what love brings about, no longer know life living the pain of you gone -without

 

I missed you

I miss you

I’d bring back oxygen into and through your throat

I’d stop the suffocating rope

I’d bring you back down to cope

I’d be there so you’re not alone in the dark to grope

I’d make you realize suicide isn’t the only way or the answer;  nope

I’d offer the 3 chord strand of rope to hold onto bringing you back from the slippery slope

I’d love, care, and accept you even when all you can do is mope

I’d encourage you on, no matter the unrelenting negative scope

I’d help you see your genuine internal special qualities as if a microscope

I’d help you see what you’re meant to be and can dream and do beyond the stars as if a telescope

I’d help you see the beauty all around us as if a kaleidoscope

I’d see you again with faith to love, as if reborn, to hope

 

I missed you

I miss you

I’d close down the bar as you were getting drunk

I’d stop you from entering your vehicle taking your keys up

I’d prevent the looming crash that left you unrecognizable in a pile of metal junk

I’d drive you to where I stay watching over you rather than over cliffside plunk

I’d listen with care and support that put you in a stupor and beyond hope sunk

I’d be there whenever you felt despair in the lowest funk

I’d help you until hope returned through the darkest deepest cave spelunk

I’d bring you back out into the Light when your dreams of better life shrunk

I’d speak truth into your heart and mind for your soul and spirit to unwind up from the danger zone pluck

I’d hold on to you as your emotions and mental stress ran amok

I’d encourage you when desires died and death’s only remedy struck until the suicidal thoughts you fought giving you the strength to buck

I’d lead you into faith, hope, and love whenever you got stuck

 

I missed you

I miss you

I’d jump into the waters below until you’re found

I’d stop the water course down until you’re above and no longer drown

I’d not let go, no matter how hard the tumultuous waves pound

I’d swim with you until you reach the shore to stand on the ROCK of Salvation on higher ground

I’d always be around for love, care, and support to surround

I’d continue praying and encouraging until the chains are broken that have you bound

I’d be your joy to your fragile frown

I’d hold you close with every breakdown

I’d pray continually until you calm down and answers are obtained through faith without a sound

I’d make you realize your worth with HIS Word and experience of faith, hope, and love to expound

I’d see you rise above it all to utterly astound

I’d see you far along instead of goodbyes with more love for self and others to abound

 

I missed you

I miss you

I’d prevent you from pulling the trigger done

I’d stop your clenching hand fixed upon the cold steel gun

I’d empty the bullet no longer meant for your premature end leaving us stunned

I’d make you believe you can live on and hope again when there is none

I’d be ready to hold your hand when you feel you have to run

I’d release you from the web of lies around you spun

I’d give you purpose for the breath in your lungs

I’d encourage you to persevere and endure until each battle you’ve won

I’d lead you to life abundantly full and away from all evil shun

I’d help you know you’re not alone and that in your corner is another greater One

I’d remind you there is a Savior, Good Shepherd, and Redeemer in GOD’s own Son

I’d see you free with faith, hope, and love in new life begun

 

I don’t want to have missed you

I don’t want to miss you

HE will keep you from all harms

HE will hold you forever in HIS arms

HE will keep you from above

HE will hold you forever in HIS love

HE will keep you always in HIS care

HE will hold you forever with grace and mercy share

HE will keep you from being left in the dark on your own

HE will hold you forever in the Light shone

HE will keep you until you obtain a sound mind

HE will hold you forever never left behind, so to yourself be kind and with offer of new life soon to find

HE will keep you even to the very end

HE will hold you forever and your soul always defend until all that you are does mend

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Image result for heaven and hell

Fallen deep pit

Hidden pitch black

Walled in steep outwit

Forbidden niche lack

All alone sit

Sudden despair attack

On my own unfit

Backslidden rebellion retract

Mood swings low until hollow only the negativity transmit

Suicidal thoughts screams overthrow into mind hack

Guilt and shame drown with an attempt as reality hit

Stunned in shock with voice stolen by enemy flak

Fear overwhelmed almost overtaken by demons as I waited in transit

Overcome was my soul out of whack

Hell made real stuck between good vs. evil with personality split

 

Sullen weep uplift

Freedom bring back

Called within;  keep lit

Seventy x seven forgiven;  does it make up the slack

Failure of wrongs confess to HIM admit

Open door of hope impact

A 3 chord strand of rope equipped

Burden of apprehension weigh upon unpack

Light of love shone won’t quit

Broken and contrite as a matter of fact

Healing the rift between my heart, soul, and spirit

Kingdom care steer on track

Given a sound mind again as I renew it

Heaven’s destination remind where treasures stack with compassions destiny mine to be exact

Faith to live on now the pre-requisite

 

 

 

 

 

Image result for stranded

Image result for stranded

Special someone overseas discovery

Seems so far away in reality

Sincerely settling within compassion near as can be

Searching soul opens up beautifully with pleasantries

Seeking samplings stranded in madness found in the midst of sadness revealing secrets in poetry once hidden merely

Sensations seen of scars unseen into scenes of teardrops bleeding bladed entries

Sighting suicidal thoughts deceiving tendencies

Sweet sierras needing relieving simplicities

Sorrowful screaming voices pleading beyond ones of fatality and fallacies

Salvation’s streaming Light rebirthing into faith, hope, and courage leading from Heaven’s treasuries

Sending soothing second chances fulfilling new found love, grace, and mercies interceding advocacy

Sanctifying stance to persevere past fear superseding in a war of casualties

Strength’s Source will endure to the end… tour of duty heeding toward truths amnesty

Surmounting Spirit-led rise above… disguise not love… cheerfully greeting one another miraculously entreating healing eternally to live on unimaginably

 

 

Image result for stranded help

 

I found this song after I wrote the poem below:

 

Just a passerby

Had I known why

You cry in the night

A pause in my day light

I’d stand beside

Walk with you in the fight

Lead you to hold HIS hand tight

Healing to be found despite the fright

 

Just a passerby

Had I any insight

You stuck in wrongs plight

A pause for prayer to make right

I’d help you understand forgiveness as snow pure white

Standing to intercede with High Priest from Heaven’s height

Lead you to find freedom inside

Healing to be found no longer to hide

 

Just a passerby

Had no one took the time for me nearby

I was unable to fly away into open sky

A pause finds depression stuck in negative thoughts gone awry

You’d have said or thought there’s no hope if I’d confide

Crawling toward silence in my demise wandering into darkness of suicide

Lead me to remember in whom I can confide

Healing to be found where my haunting fears subside

 

Just a passerby

Had You given up on me?  All Your help deny??

I called on You in faith lost and alone despite

A pause with broken spirit heart contrite

You’d answer my prayer to rescue and not despise

Carrying me upon Your shoulder home after finding me leaving ninety-nine

Lead me to safe green pasture… in You I begin to delight

Healing to be found restoring my soul into new life until my spirit reignite no longer on my own left behind to die