Posts Tagged ‘reflections’

A world turn to ice

Rotation seems to stop -test

The roll of the dice

 

Grow up to release stress

Resistance to change

Succumb to nevertheless

 

Desire to be someone

Lost in the night from days depressed

Fade with disappearance of the sun

 

Where becomes the focus more or less

Inward view at darkness strange

Hell on earth felt with mental illness

 

Battle is in my mind

Life or death hangs in the balance hard pressed

Can’t help but look for a sign

 

Negative thoughts overtake intense

Fear and doubt narrows outlooks range

Future dread, past enchains, present in suspense

 

Let go self care

Minimalizing nourishment starving inside as my guest

Brain eating itself deceiving now aware

 

Cold heart mourn trespassed east to west

Soul torn in unrest

Frozen spirit forlorn tests distressed

Mind stuck on warning/warning/warning/warn?!. digress

Perfect storm enters inside to derange

Panic stricken hidden within head’s walls torments

 

Suicide has access

How come I acquiesce

Open the door, crossed the line oppressed

 

Suicidal hours pass suppress

Relentless until possess -success?!.

Drown out voices in excess

 

No such attempt a success…

Come up for air with will still to live reassess

Arise soaken wet convalesce

 

Hitch a ride back to civilization egress

At a loss that death somehow did outguess finality this time, how to process?

Did I go too far with the way I transgress?

 

Parents sullen expression hopeless -turn their back and walk away

My only hope is Heaven above to hear my cries to HIM confess

Scared the enemy stalks in this darkness; hearing breaths closing in for attack as I pray

 

In time JESUS answers to rescue, restore, redeem to repossess

Relationship with the LORD reestablished over the years with interchange

Taken back into the sheepfold to learn trust has been an ongoing process

 

All HE did for me I can’t express fully in my writings or with my spoken words, but I try

Yet, JESUS, is HIS precious name I will forever profess

Since HE has heard my wavering cries, I will walk with HIM no longer to deny for faith, hope, and love now unto others apply…

 

Frozen ice melts with the SON press on Heavenward progress

Saves lives, softens hearts, sanctifies minds, sets spirits free in wondrous and beautiful exchange

Casts out fear with perfect love HE has won to bless…

  

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Tired

Overly tired

Spread thin

yolk is easy confirmation light -go to rend the Heavens behold passion live in

Wired

Sleeplessly wired

Head spin

Invoke inspiration ignite -go to depend on HIM for soul satisfaction beyond what I imagine

Listen

Musically listen

Fed within

Spoke in affirmation from above at night -go to tend unfold thirsty ration given

Discipline

Mostly discipline

Led in

Soak in admiration with love upright -go to mend whole in mercy and compassion driven

Praying

Rally praying

fled open

Broken door revelation contrite -go in to defend those abandoned/imprisoned

Obeying

Steadfastly obeying

Tread begin

Awoken toward impassioned Light -go forth to befriend young and old uphold; then as fashioned rest again

 

 

 

 

 

 

Image result for sun rise

Lift up your eyes

See the same skies

Yet so far we seem

Hopeful prayer bring

For truths quest, for a new dream

 

Sun escapes darkness

Daybreaks east to west

Yet so do we until overcoming

Open soul’s plea

For inner zest, for sweet release

 

Stars are serene

Moon scars seen

So are we hidden or noticing

Crater within to flee

For quiet rest, for eternal peace

 

Under cloud cover

Storms or shadows hover

Yet still we breathe

Break through into light until free

For love’s conquest, for fears to cease

 

Enter center of mind’s eye

Asking mysteries why

Yet we will believe

Have grace and mercy to receive

For life’s test, for faith that reprieves

 

Enter center of heart’s cry

Awaiting hope will try… despite times that subside or die

Yet we resurrect to still conceive

While in the LORD delighting

For less stress, for strength to increase

 

Enter center of Spirit willing to soar on high

Walk the extra mile self deny, with others uplift who’d rather die

Yet we will encourage and intercede from underneath

Finding Refuge in hiding or when in our own battles fighting; remember HIS blood cerise

For respecting creation bless, for caprice of helping each one as HIS masterpiece

Image result for moon night sky

 

 

 

 

 

 

Depression locked in night

Faith awakes absent sight

Hope engaging the fright

Love emerging when contrite

Dreams unlock with Light

HIS Spirit within ignite

Walk not by might

Mind links to Heaven’s height

Heart opens to new life

Soul HE restores aright

Spirit free saves from plight

Body beats to join the fight

Compassion helps others be bright

Rescue casualties caught in rewind

For one lost sheep leave ninety nine

Once broken chains no longer tight

Share story left behind

Forward journey go remind

Inward peace HE gives to find

Start…

Dictionary.com has a lot of definitions of what it means:  Just reading these may inspire you…

In my acronym, S.T.A.R.T.S. will mean:

 something you do…  

something new you do…

something you continue to do…

 

Spiritual

Truths

Activated

Renew/Restore/Replenish

Together

Soundness

 

I will start to share practical ways, that if put into practice over time, will promote well being in the daily grind and battles that inhabit mental illness…

I will share about that which I myself put into practice and experienced life-changing benefits from…

 

When you’re ready, you will trust in GOD again… you have that choice, you own that decision only you can make, you have the will to empower trust in HIM whenever you want to practice it…

Trust is a heart and soul thing that grows after you set your mind to begin the endeavor again… You can learn to trust in HIM with moments (like your move to a new place) and choose to trust HIM for healing (like your lifelong journey through trauma/abuse to triumph/astounding) whenever you want… When you fall back to not trusting, from that low point and helpless perspective; you can once again look up in trust to your Heavenly FATHER who gives good gifts and wants to love and care for you… You may choose to trust in moments or a daily decision through prayer (prayer is turning to HIM in trust) and pouring out your heart (through talking to HIM out loud, quietly inside, or writing it out)…

You’re loved and cared for not matter what… You’ll get to know/relearn HIS love and care as you decide to trust when you choose to… I am proud of you when you choose to reach out to those weak in need of love and care… In your weakness, JESUS is strong… Being there for them in being who you are matters and is doing good despite what you may feel or think about yourself… You are showing faith in action; doing GOD’s will in doing HIS Word:

Psalm 41
1 Blessed are those who have regard for the weak;
the Lord delivers them in times of trouble.
2 The Lord protects and preserves them—
they are counted among the blessed in the land—
he does not give them over to the desire of their foes.
3 The Lord sustains them on their sickbed
and restores them from their bed of illness.

verse 1 “regard for the weak”; for me the orphans, for you may be anyone weak you reach out to (orphans, special needs children/adults, homeless, abused and neglected souls, widows/widowers, or elderly)

Focus on these Words above and let it become one of your life verses/life mantra…

These verses helped me hang on, believe and trust, and reach out and one day HE answered these promises in my own life… These awesome Words came true through HIM and through me, for me, and in me… I still cannot fathom the turn-around in my life because of JESUS the Living and active Word bringing this about and GOD the FATHER’s mercy and compassion for me…

Look carefully and choose to believe and trust for these to be your benefits as well:

1) delivers them in times of trouble
2) protects and preserves them / does not give them over to the desire of their foes (who want to steal, kill, or destroy; suicide)
3) restores them from their bed of illness (physically or emotionally or mentally or socially or spiritually; for me all 5)

If HE did it for me; I know HE will do it for you… Why? because HE is true to HIS Word and desires to be faithful in a person’s life
When? in HIS timing; so difficult to wait I know (took years for me) maybe for you quicker than my experience
How? in small and grand ways along the journey; sometimes miraculously
Who? you (for you do have regard for the weak)
Where? inside you

I know I went through what I went through to be a help/support to others weaker… This is ultimately the outcome from what I didn’t think was fair, what I didn’t understand, why I was abandoned, why I was often alone in my trauma and not knowing why GOD wasn’t there bringing me through like I knew HE could; why it wasn’t right a way – yet waited for me to learn mercy and compassion at the core of who I am now… HE took me through the depths of darkness to reach out to anybody now with profound faith, hope, and love… with confidence in HIM and who HE is and what I now know HE can/will do…

Much of my trauma was self-inflicted (so full of guilt and shame) from turning away from GOD in rebellious youthful sin and desires being as lost as one can be. Yet I turned to HIM and HE still answered me… me? why me? why HE didn’t abandon me further? why did HE not leave me in my sin? HIS love is greater than anyone can know or fathom… Now I live to show HIS love I know and continue to attempt to fathom… If I didn’t learn through painful depths to know HIS love, mercy, and compassion; then how would I know HIM as HE is and learn that I could reach those who may be in need… HE will choose and use the weak and unlearned to profound the strong and wise… There is so much darkness and cruelty in this world. HE takes some of us through trauma and darkness so we can be a light that shines in it as HE rescues precious children, men, and women that need HIM… sometimes to reveal what HIS love is through us… We choose to pray for and be there present and intercede for them because we know… we understand… we will stand for them… we will choose to love… we will choose purity… we will love purely… Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see GOD (Matthew 5:8)…

You’re not a failure… You’re more than a conqueror through HIM who gives you strength… When you are weak come to HIM for rest… When you can’t do it anymore, wait on HIM for renewed strength… HE is faithful to HIS Word even when we are not…

Oh and let’s look at Psalm 41 vs. 4

I said, “Have mercy on me, Lord;
heal me, for I have sinned against you.”

What if we have sinned in some way!! Well I asked the LORD for mercy and to heal me of course… And so, HE healed me… me… and you?… you too!!!…

Ok! So you just got the wave from HIS ocean that was building within me to reach the shore of those needing mercy that will also be a blog post for my website that I have been wanting to write on Psalm 41 for a long, long while… I wrote this for you for sure; yet it is also for anyone else needing encouragement as well…

Suicide apprehend

Drown after harrowing night

Come up for air still alive

 

Tried;  descend

Down faster narrowing light

Sun up ignore glare will deny

 

Pride offend

Aground disaster sorrowing plight

Lock up a floor share hospital awry

 

Wide dead end

Astound last turn loathing fright

One up poor flare shrill cry

 

Died;  part of me then

Around past discern;  knowing insight

SON up toward care refill my…

 

Confide rend

Abound cast concern showing contrite

Hung up before dare;  pill apply

 

Hide defend

Enshroud aghast yearn overflowing ignite

Wrung up, restore, aware, arrive

 

Alive again

Found amassed per arrows zing aflight

Overcome;  run up more declare until HIS Light shines