I recently shared my suicide attempt story with Anne Moss Rogers who is an author, a public speaker, and a suicide prevention trainer. She is the site owner of the Emotionally Naked Blog. Her son Charles Aubrey Rogers died by suicide on June 5, 2015. Anne has dedicated her life to help others who have suffered the loss of a loved one and to help prevent suicide through awareness and training. She allows others to share their stories and is a voice of hope with a compassionate heart. She carries precious memories of her son as she carries on to make a positive difference in this world…
New opportunities with purpose I thought were left far behind
Memories though remind
Of HIS truth and kindness shown before
And HIS Word anew choosing to seek HIM to implore
Unwind
Someone close I’d have to leave far behind
Memories though remind
Of HIS choice for me to marry
And HIS way, truth, and the life chosen though I’d tarry
Outlined
Another episode into psych hospital again I thought was left far behind
Memories though remind
Of fears revisited and hallucinations come alive
And paranoia riveted inside
Divide
Another miracle release yet I felt left far behind
Memories though remind
Of continuing to call on HIS name for help and fears increased to cease to be set free
And so weak, weary, and wavering I’d barely hold on to a sense of reality
Contrived
Somehow I’d live and work with a growing family beside trying to leave the negative far behind
Memories though remind
Of hit and miss volleys of episodes small and large in magnitude
And the loss of less and less aptitude
Maligned
There were times I’d be alright with new peace and hope replacing what I wanted left far behind
Memories though remind
Of peace and hope not lasting for long
And I was a step away from a sense of security being gone
Unbind
My life crashed down again heading back to another psych hospital that I couldn’t leave far behind
Memories though remind
Of the wreckage I was causing my family broken apart
And damage of decades of doubt taken its toll on my heart
Deride
This time I’d protect my wife and fight the enemy and my demons I thought I left far behind
Memories though remind
Of failed attempts, of fear inept, and darkness’s depths while looking above
And yet I chose to walk by faith each step of the way confronting each giant to slay -along came love
To guide
My sense of love for my family upon seeing them I never want to leave far behind
Memories though remind
Of desire to fight to keep and to hold them close
And choose to put HIM first and love HIM most
Abide
I’d falter once again to enter the psych hospital and another battle escalated with the enemy of my soul who wants me left far behind
Memories though remind
Of faith, hope, and love that remains and the Spirit within to fight the war ensued outside
And HE proves faithful to be there by my side to protect my family, then to center me to defeat my enemy of pride, of lies, of disguise, of negative ties that have followed me from behind
Tried
I fight the good fight with HIS grace, mercy, forgiveness, encouragement, and compassion that has not left me far behind
Memories though remind
Of the battles that still need to be fought for others to know the truth
And become HIS disciple who follows with faith, hope, and love as proof
Decide
HE promises to never leave nor forsake when trust HIM, so there’s no fear of what’s left far behind
Memories though remind
Of praying on the armor and saving souls as wise being a soldier who will fight on the frontline
And to press on Heavenward to win the prize as a reflection of HIS Light to shine
Realigned
HE didn’t leave me far behind, but left the ninety-nine to come after me to find
Memories though remind
Of the deepest, darkest pit I fell into, that I might see -what HE bought would continue to pursue with love’s stride open to what frees
And to show and tell of HIS rescue, not just for me -but for you too HE will do until we’re made new… from above provide in what HE’s
Until stopped -suicidal, suicide attempt, make it out somehow, mental illness diagnosed, negative thoughts fights now with faith, hope, and love; relapses then go to HIM who understands and delivers from again and again and again
