Mistakes that I had made
Low self-esteem, empty, ashamed
No identity yet, solo, afraid
High school, one date came, I’m to blame
Still recognize her face and remember her name
Monday came; she stood there waiting, locked gaze in suspended time, then walked away because I couldn’t respond as if in a daze
I pray she knows HIS love all her days…
~
Mistakes I dare to share
Open up not sure she’d even care
Return the favor listening, revealing all unaware
College, first relationship, burdens to bear
Found solace for a short time so rare
She had to leave across the sea and I let go too scared
I pray she finds HIM suddenly out of no where
~
Mistakes I regret
Awkward, unsure, how to interpret
Searching for identity unkept
College, second relationship, just met
A whirlwind transpires; I easily make her upset
She gave it one last chance; I hurt her heart and can’t forget
I pray she experiences HIS joy each day on reset
~
Mistakes of getting too close without commitment
Except our faith in GOD, we’d abstain from being intimate
Taking a chance after my suicide attempt and mental illness onset
Singles group in church, third relationship, her a divorcee with a daughter, could we reinvent
GOD would make it clear we weren’t meant to be in marriage represent
She was saddened, but moved on to start her own family circumvent
I pray she always has HIS encouragement and a love for HIM that’s fervent
~
Through all my mistakes I came to find HIM anew
My refocus in relationship with HIM intertwined with her and grew
Drawn together as we served HIS children in love’s purpose pure and true
Times well spent with each other set in motion HIS will to pursue
It is evident we were meant to be a family within HIS faith, hope, and love through and through
She has fought to win battles with the enemy as revealed by scars and wounds
She has fought to win battles for me in the midst of my darkest hours now removed
She has fought to win battles for herself of declined health faithful to be there for our children proved
I pray she feels HIS love through me continually, reveals HIS love through our children repeatedly, conceals within HIS love fully to share assuredly, and kneels with me in awe of what the LORD has done mercifully in Heaven one day and then walk together as best friends for all eternity…
Suicide Not God's Heart 