I remember memories that replay yesterday and wonder why
I remember memories that sway back and forth today and sigh
I remember memories that delay like deja vu arrayed in the future reapplied
I remember memories of mistakes and failures made causing pain I’d rather hide
I remember memories held at bay I’d rather not say went awry
I remember memories once afraid no longer make me prey in the night
I remember memories laid bare so much stronger that I pray won’t be how I die
I remember memories of hell’s visit down the broadway with sin’s choice for entrance prefaced I’d preferably decide to contrive and be deprived
I remember memories like shade in the hottest summer to evade under a tree think twice about while I reside with the littlest faith arise
I remember memories where I strayed until found by the ONE I betrayed now unto will abide with hope to enter HIS arms in Heaven arrive
I remember memories of fear weighed heavily upon this casualty of war that love conveyed in order for it to disappear and heal me inside
I remember memories that slay my pride to display the humility I now allow to guide
I remember memories that give way to HIS grace now to follow as I soar above the storm on the heights by HIS Spirit not by might
I remember memories that trade my punishment with HIS mercy instead that covers me always new every morning to find supplied as I remain contrite
I remember memories that pervade of HIS compassion embraced that erased the oppression and loneliness while it trained me to comfort others with a depth of understanding comprised
I remember memories where HIS truth sustained and prayers uplifted with thanks maintained a peace that surpassed all understanding guarding my heart and mind in JESUS Christ
I remember memories spent alone with HIM that I can now say will remain as I’ve been taught HIS Word to obey where I’ve been tried as gold refined, where I’ve been aligned to HIS will defined, and where I’ve dined with HIM to always remind me I’m HIS and HE is mine for all time…
Faith in HIM represent
Mind renew always with wisdom eloquent
Thankful YOURS known to intersect for minds to reprove of heaven's advice lent
Riveting amount is opulent
Letting one see what is transcendent
Toward the shore for new life that is imminent
Hope is what is sent
Soul restore always defend
Make YOURS shown to resurrect for souls redo to win who arise again
Giving out encouragement
Getting to dream of what is meant
For more of a future that is relevant
Love every moment
Heart revive always open
Take YOURS alone to reflect for hearts to remove fear within comprise to mend
Living fount covenant
Setting free awoken
Pour forth the Word to be spoken
Grace, mercy, and compassion evident
Spirit refresh always with peace mitigant
Break through with YOURS sown to reconnect for spirits that regrew like butterflies ascend
Pivoting stout when repent
Forgetting past things that were arrogant
Soar North above the storms resilient
Onward becoming who you’re meant to be rather than retreating or worse yet leaving
Onward knowing HE lives at the right hand of GOD with scars for you interceding
Onward heeding HIS voice of encouraging to continue enduring and persevering even if for now it’s just breathing
On HIM always lean…
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Press on rather than regress despite feeling depressed
Pass the test to go on beyond the trials and tribulations that oppress
Continue with faith in the SON for making progress
Continue to hope in HIM to find rest
Continue in HIS love which is greatest and will work out what is best
Choose life and blessing over death and cursing that HE died to give you as your inspiring and motivating quest
Draw near to HIM and HE will draw nearer sincerest as you pour out your heart to HIM in confidence rather than those feelings just suppress
Reassess life as a maturing process, mess of sin with guilt and shame confess to find forgiveness, and then will profess HIS evidence realized further along life’s journey of HIS faithfulness
Focus is more when there is less…
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Less to not weigh you down in fear replaced by HIS love held dear
Less worry in your heart found in HIM who makes it disappear
Less weary chasing after empty success that falls aground like tears
Less willful of your own plans that fail here
Less want of the world’s lust wandering into sin that causes pain and torment so severe
Less wasting away in your illness with HIS acceptance of all that you are by caring for yourself to improve mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health adhere
Less wavering in unbelief by simply believing HE will turn your life around with HIS patience and gentleness steer
Less wondering about what ifs of the past that HE uses in your future to help others made more clear
Less while HE becomes more to you during your extended years
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More faith in HIS truth so you’re no longer unruly that will no longer duly offend
More hope and trust in HIS ways you can truly depend on now that you’re newly opened
More love in HIS life abiding to be a light shining in darkness to give freely and often
More mercy from HIS healing throne of Heaven that is new every morning sent
More compassion from HIS heart to listen to others vent -even from suicide may prevent
More grace from HIS hand to lead and guide you along righteous paths that will leave no regret in retrospect
More of HIS Spirit welcoming within who will comfort you with HIS Presence, counsel you with HIS wisdom, and care for your well-being with moans expressed according to GOD’s will for your life when words of prayer fail to connect
More delighting in HIM to be given the desires of your heart meant to mend your dreams again made relevant where nightmares can’t circumvent
More freedom will come after suffering through a set timeframe where to live is Christ and to die is gain that is effective when wait on GOD’s timing and not your own as you wait to resurrect into HIS arms as Heaven’s resident
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Wait on HIM for new strength returning to soar above the storms on eagle’s wings freeing
Wait on HIM for renewing your mind with truth until having soundness of peace releasing
Wait on HIM for reviving your heart recreating within purity and right desires brought back into the land of the living reconvening
Wait on HIM for rescue unto redemption forthcoming that will restore your soul and implore within you vision, purpose, and meaning that’s increasing
Wait on HIM for refilling your cup to overflowing until refreshing your spirit into HIS will agreeing and being a doer of HIS Word unleashing
Wait on HIM watching as HE wins every battle in your war raging against the enemy who attempts at deceiving
Wait on HIM to direct your steps through open doors revealing
Wait on HIM for HIS promises open handed toward until receiving
Wait on HIM for complete healing that makes you whole whether here on earth or there in Heaven as the great reward for continually believing
YOU were there when I fell in the deepest pit of utter black darkness wraith of hope depressed
YOU were there when I laid down and could barely sit up to muster any faith to cope in my mess
YOU were there when I was a shell of emptiness with shallow breath as evidence not sure whether I’d ever have steps to be deft again or mend even from your nurturing obligations
YOU were there when I was in hell of loneliness like a death sentence, but you never left as I wept and hardly slept in weakness rend often to descend furthering complications
YOU were there in my broken brokenness lost in strife
YOU were there to awaken awareness into new life
YOU were there to believe for me when I couldn’t just be
YOU were there to perceive YOU’d free when I wouldn’t trust Thee
YOU were there when I couldn’t do anything
YOU were there to pull me through everything
YOU were there to encourage and rebuke readily
YOU were there to give reassurance resolute steadily
YOU were there until we were a growing family
YOU were there to fulfill that we were overflowing avidly
YOU were there when I was lost, then amazed by YOU found with YOUR grace, mercy, and compassion all around no longer the same without any shame
I am here because YOU counted the cost, and raised me up off the ground with purpose, vision, and a future with passion to abound now stronger for YOUR Name renown to proclaim
Mine or yours having fierce suicidal thoughts are not a sin in its reoccurring more than meditation
Mine or yours having fierce suicidal thoughts are a battle we can win enduring the onslaught and persevering until disaster passes without retaliation
My frontline reality is fighting beyond suicidal ideation into dreams desires for realization
My focus centrality is encouraging all to make it out within HIS remediation
My frame of reference is faith, hope, and love to abound from the Creator to HIS creation
My family I live for so I continue to press on with determination
My faith is that I don’t live for myself alone, but unto HIM in adoration
My freedom is to live pure to be secure in God the FATHER’s hands for the SON’s traits rebuilding within this clay as HIS formation
I know some will overcome every moment into freedom in the future with just being blood bought
I know some will succumb to its’ warring thoughts, yet with faith as small as a mustard seed will put trust in HIM continually knowing its not for nought
I know some will be numb from the scarring its wrought, yet rise above into new life after whats fraught
I know some will come to know JESUS once sparring alone to discover who helps in the battles fought
I know some will become found to enter in HIM after the jarring being stuck as HE lifts up with compassion from the pit caught
I know some will be from outer darkness until starring with HIM from mercy inward being taught
I know some will fall seven times and rise again 8, since each turn for help is hope and strength in HIM having sought
I know some will face their giants with grace until each one is slain to stand above the onslaught
This is for sure -I know Who helps us through our sorrows…
We aren’t promised tomorrow at any time
In fact
There’s no going back.Or can we?Pack? Step into a time machine hijack?
No, odds are stacked against us and left us out of whack -but we can take time to remember, reminisce, revisit again whereas only HE can turn back the hands of time to redeem…
Though older
There is youth regret with desire to start over
We can start over and with time become much wiser
There’s no getting younger age wise to retract
There is backtrack to ask for forgiveness white as snow to be exact
Time stands still
Love can do that;become young at heart to keep intact facing the facts head on -make a comeback
However brief and for however long is its lifelong impact…
There’s still time
For love to carry on
Choose to make a difference before its gone
Time is of the essence
Find love in HIS Presence
Be filled up with overflowing cup upon a mountain top experience
Time is a healer;heals all wounds
Come back down into the valley of the shadow
To help our fellow brother or sister below… Death may come fast, all of a sudden, and everybody know or occur solo so slow -either way let love show…
Time flies when you’re having fun
So time dies when you’re not -no, it’s for faith inside to grow… hope inside to know… love inside reaching out to bestow…
Faith, hope, and love remains as HE alone sustains wherever we are and wherever we go…
Time changes everything
We are changed, it’s true, as we walk along
Changed by the sadness and bitterness or changed to maturity ongoing with each new dawn…
Running out of time
Make moments count even so
An eternal fount awaits beyond the rainbow
At times, let go of time constraints
Enjoy the still and quiet silence or choose opposite of any violence toward others or yourself; begin a new endeavor
A goal may be to get through whatever the weather; give up never, yet ready for forever…
Time to come in
Come in from the cold -no longer alone;come bold to the throne of grace to obtain grace and mercy in times of need until found a home; come hold on until the disaster passes over -out of the war zone
Rest your weary soul in HIM; bought at a price not your own…
Time is now
Act in such a way to bring honor, glory, and praise to our Creator
Best to do so sooner, better late than never, or miss out all together later
Time to go
On a trip of adventure ready for departure
Make lasting memories to capture ever ready to really leave this earth with the rapture
It’s time
Time to know the Way, the Truth, and the Life
So that your time eternally is spent in Heaven beyond internal sin, death’s sentence, pain and sickness, screaming solo, and negative strife
This time…
I live not for myself alone
I’m here for who I love;making HIM known…
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
A Time for Everything
3 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
I know Alone, and realized I wasn’t the only one who knew alone.
Many are alone who know Alone or have come to know Alone.
Realizing you’re not the only one who knows Alone is somehow comforting when you’re alone.
I am not alone anymore, yet I find a friend with those who know Alone for Alone once was so close to me I didn’t know otherwise.
If you know Alone and need a friend, I accept you as one of my friends… You’re no longer alone… I will believe you… I will believe in you… I will receive you… I will perceive how Alone has made you, changed you, hurt you, scared you… I will conceive how Alone makes your worldview, your inner view, your suicidal view…
I am made somewhat of Alone, changed somehow by Alone, hurt deeply by Alone, and feared once with Alone… However, I am not Alone… I never was… But I was in utmost darkness alone. Alone tried to take me under and almost succeeded;
Alone came alongside me while I was alone and joined me with it… until all I felt was what Alone felt, what Alone thought, what Alone only knew… I learned Alone’s secrets… Alone was only bringing me down to the lowest it only feels, it only thinks, it only knows… Spiraling down into darkness more and more and more… Alone feels darkness, thinks darkness, knows darkness to depths you never knew before… Alone reveals darkness beyond all darkness… Hope is lost with Alone… Hope disappears when alone with Alone… Hope is beyond one’s reach when Alone takes you under unwillingly… Alone makes its home in you… until you can’t stand Alone being anymore alone… Alone can make you lose your mind, lose your heart, lose your soul, lose your spirit, and alone with Alone can cause you to lose your life…
Alone doesn’t realize Faith comes to life in darkness… And I knew of Faith… I didn’t know Faith, like really know, yet it called for me to take a chance on, to take a hold of, to realize Faith was the only way to get out of this deep dark pit – ravaged, bombarded, pounded, emptied, fear laden with and by Alone… tormenting me alone from Alone… Something had to give…
Have Faith or die alone… overtaken by Alone.
Faith began to build me up as a real possibility… Faith started to turn my heart, soul, mind, and spirit to the Author of my Faith… the Healer and Restorer of my heart…. the Savior and Defender of my soul… the Perfecter and Renewer of my mind… the Redeemer and Uplifter of my spirit…
Faith reunited me with Hope… Faith made me realize Hope was not lost… Hope had not disappeared… Hope was surely within reach again…
Faith and Hope can sometimes be overshadowed by Alone, but can never be wiped out by Alone… Alone tries to hide this reality… Faith and Hope are of the LIGHT that Alone in the darkness hates to be seen… Alone will mask it with others rejections of, turn those alone inward into their own darkness, or turn those alone around to not see even glimpses of Faith and Hope at one’s disposal that are found when called upon to operate and begin to shine brighter providing the way out of any darkened pit…
Faith and Hope together introduced me to LOVE…
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails…
LOVE never fails, but I didn’t know that yet… LOVE keeps Faith and Hope together within and encompassed around me… LOVE works from the depths of itself, the depths of Faith, and the depths of Hope to be forever united as One in me… Alone couldn’t fully have me anymore… After being introduced to Faith, Hope, and LOVE in the deepest of despair and despondency – I was forever found in new life… changed with the appearance by the 3 that will always remain: Faith, Hope, and LOVE… and Alone may be in reach at any given time, yet I am always taken hold of by Faith, Hope, and LOVE…
I know LOVE so much more now that I believe, receive, perceive, conceive and am relieved by HIM that nothing can chase me away to the darkness alone with just Alone… Yes, I may face being with Alone again, but I will always have Faith, Hope, and LOVE to accompany me from this time forth into forevermore…
So if you get to know me, you won’t be alone with Alone only… I bring with me Faith, Hope, and LOVE so you get to know them too!!… And I know that I know you’ll soon, at some point, embrace these 3 that will always remain for you as well… Faith, Hope, and LOVE like to meet and greet, defeat darkness, release from fears, and bring you up from beneath the heavy weight of the world, sin, and brokenness you feel… May you, like me, be established, rooted, and grounded in HIS LOVE for Faith, Hope, and LOVE to remain in you for all eternity…
What if you resist when Faith, Hope, and LOVE want to make an appearance to let you know Alone isn’t all there is to this life… Alone will remain with you alone… That to me is not acceptable. That to me is unthinkable. That to me is unfathomable… Being alone with Alone is not a way to live your life.
Having Faith, Hope, and LOVE always, with Alone sometimes, is much more foreseeable, doable, reachable, and conquerable… Faith, Hope, and LOVE promise to get you who you’ve always desired to be, what you’ve always cared to be about, and beyond where you’ve ever dreamed of going if you’ll only welcome the 3 that will remain within given by JESUS Himself when you ask HIM in to hear you, help you, heal you, and honor HIS promises for you… promises you can’t keep on your own, or make happen on your own, or even desire to have on your own. JESUS will be to you who HE is and so much more… beyond what you can think, ask, or imagine… So these 3 remain… Faith, Hope, and LOVE… And the greatest of these is LOVE…
What is so incredible is that asking JESUS to forgive you and to come into your heart is that with Faith, Hope, and LOVE you’ll know Forgiveness (GOD’s forgiveness; empowered to forgive yourself and others even), Grace (ability to handle life’s stresses better), Mercy (received as needed when you mess up along your healing journey), and Compassion (ability to care about and be there for others in need). GOD will also give you as a deposit (a guarantee of your inheritance to be received into Heaven) the HOLY Spirit as a gift to be your wonderful counselor never leaving you on your own to deal with life anymore on your own. You will begin to grow with the fruit of the Spirit to know as well: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-control…
With all these new “friends” inside you growing you and building you up, you’ll have more and more peace of mind, peace in your heart, restful peace for your soul, peace in your spirit, and peace that surpasses all understanding in your life…
JESUS, furthermore, promises HE will never leave you nor forsake you… JESUS says no one can snatch you out of HIS hand and no one can snatch you out of GOD the FATHER’s hand… This is all just a glimpse of HIS innumerable promises HE can keep and hold out just for you to take a hold of into your new found life… Like me, you won’t be alone anymore with Alone…
Here’s a recap:
I am no longer alone… Now that I’m found in JESUS…
You don’t have to be either…
I still know Alone, but not apart from JESUS and all HIS “friends” working deeper within me…
Could you use some new companions along your journey?!…
GOD the FATHER in and through HIS SON JESUS gives them freely if you listen to and accept JESUS as Savior and LORD in your life… What you’ll gain with surrender is by far the greatest treasure you will ever find in a lifetime…
JESUS never leaves nor forsakes you…
Holy Spirit is a deposit guaranteeing your residence will be Heaven…
You will grow in the fruits of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-control…
Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Fell into depression’s futile trance ridden of hope’s stride no longer find; fail to my health reapply deeply shy with no one to whom confide ever more and more withdrawn;needed to humbly ask the ONE who will reveal an answer
Fell into a victim’s neutral stance hidden to cope inside though conjure denied; curtail my stealth reside -confined weeping; try to come back alive tether more and more foregone;needed to humbly seek the ONE for a remedy from the cancer
Fell into lowest esteem and no youthful dance; forbidden to mope resigned so maunder unkind rail against myself pry keeping pride to bide my time however more and more wrong;needed to humbly knock to be open to the ONE who rescues from disaster
Sink in deepest pit, quick trip, land unable to see the light in darkest of night
Sink in steepest sin, in quicksand, unstable reprieve with fright in starkness of plight
Sink in bleakness dim, a quick whim unplanned; disable to leave life pinned regardless of suicide
All I could do to look up heavenward and call on HIS name one day to be redeemed steering where I’ll mend; restore with new faith in Maker within… securely toward for others to newly see
All I could do to hold on to be reassured until wall of shame pervade to be free not fearing the end; implore with new hope anchor within… purely to mentor others truly in need
All I could do to keep up and believe occurred until relit aflame persuade to be devotee nearing an open door continuing on with love clangor within… sincerely to award others duly in deed
Reminder of the mud and mire where I would wallow solo
Turn back to HIM in repentance from being shallow to now follow
Mercy, grace, and compassion filled the hollow after many a blow
Once again I walk along this time with HIS care and my cross to bear
Once again I run the race this time for HIM alone I’ll dare to share
Once again I dream now while awake in each new day unto HIM not so rare more aware
Found faith to go on as a searcher finding within freedom
Found hope to know of a future guiding in HIS Kingdom
Found love to grow from Whom will nurture abiding into a beacon lead ‘em
Faith, hope, and love is needed through every high and low
Faith, hope, and love remain to forever show
The greatest of these is love to eternally overflow
until the devil meets his match that GOD our FATHER strikes its end… set aflame, far from us expulsion disbanded -no longer with fiery darts targeting at our hearts aim
our faith he can’t catch; crush his head then fallen into lake of fire send… let tame his evil compulsion stranded -no longer with tiring accusations marketing at our minds blame
Because we live on and on…
set free he can’t snatch; secure in the Savior’s care and the FATHER’s strongest hands tend… debt/shame gone as peace and grace rush in granted -no longer with firing arrows darkening to our souls maim
beyond the grave deep within is Heaven attached; await a future hope prepared above where we fully mend… met mercy anew every morning propulsion open handed -made stronger desiring eternity harkening to our spirits claim
Suicide Not God's Heart 