I remember memories that replay yesterday and wonder why
I remember memories that sway back and forth today and sigh
I remember memories that delay like deja vu arrayed in the future reapplied
I remember memories of mistakes and failures made causing pain I’d rather hide
I remember memories held at bay I’d rather not say went awry
I remember memories once afraid no longer make me prey in the night
I remember memories laid bare so much stronger that I pray won’t be how I die
I remember memories of hell’s visit down the broadway with sin’s choice for entrance prefaced I’d preferably decide to contrive and be deprived
I remember memories like shade in the hottest summer to evade under a tree think twice about while I reside with the littlest faith arise
I remember memories where I strayed until found by the ONE I betrayed now unto will abide with hope to enter HIS arms in Heaven arrive
I remember memories of fear weighed heavily upon this casualty of war that love conveyed in order for it to disappear and heal me inside
I remember memories that slay my pride to display the humility I now allow to guide
I remember memories that give way to HIS grace now to follow as I soar above the storm on the heights by HIS Spirit not by might
I remember memories that trade my punishment with HIS mercy instead that covers me always new every morning to find supplied as I remain contrite
I remember memories that pervade of HIS compassion embraced that erased the oppression and loneliness while it trained me to comfort others with a depth of understanding comprised
I remember memories where HIS truth sustained and prayers uplifted with thanks maintained a peace that surpassed all understanding guarding my heart and mind in JESUS Christ
I remember memories spent alone with HIM that I can now say will remain as I’ve been taught HIS Word to obey where I’ve been tried as gold refined, where I’ve been aligned to HIS will defined, and where I’ve dined with HIM to always remind me I’m HIS and HE is mine for all time…
Better call on HIS Name [“JESUS”] and be saved better late than never
Never is a death sentence apart from HIM where hell is a reality you never want to know, feel, or see
See that HE died for you while you were still a sinner and realize for the first time ever you need a Savior
See HIM on a cross with nails driven in bleeding for you to conceive; see HIM buried in a grave taking away your sin, guilt, and shame pleading for you to believe; see HIM resurrected to life again with the mission of leading you to receive HIS gift of greater salvation for the Great Commission so your name is written in the Lamb’s Book of Life acquisition -destined for Heaven with permission adopted into GOD’s family as a brother or sister to all HIS men, women, & children
Never were you meant to be on your own fighting a battle you alone cannot win without HIS mighty hand to save and lift up given
Better is one day in HIS courts confessing your sin and requesting for HIM to rescue, to restore, and to redeem as forgiven
Free to accept HIM [JESUS] into your heart (who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life)… for new life to begin
Here with HIS grace, mercy, and compassion chosen and overflowing for HIS joy to know within
Then walking with HIM to grow in faith, hope, and love is your decision to be reassured arisen
Best is HIS love eternal, enduring, and everlasting meant to never end
Quest to continue knowing HIM and making HIM known befriends
Onward becoming who you’re meant to be rather than retreating or worse yet leaving
Onward knowing HE lives at the right hand of GOD with scars for you interceding
Onward heeding HIS voice of encouraging to continue enduring and persevering even if for now it’s just breathing
On HIM always lean…
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Press on rather than regress despite feeling depressed
Pass the test to go on beyond the trials and tribulations that oppress
Continue with faith in the SON for making progress
Continue to hope in HIM to find rest
Continue in HIS love which is greatest and will work out what is best
Choose life and blessing over death and cursing that HE died to give you as your inspiring and motivating quest
Draw near to HIM and HE will draw nearer sincerest as you pour out your heart to HIM in confidence rather than those feelings just suppress
Reassess life as a maturing process, mess of sin with guilt and shame confess to find forgiveness, and then will profess HIS evidence realized further along life’s journey of HIS faithfulness
Focus is more when there is less…
~
Less to not weigh you down in fear replaced by HIS love held dear
Less worry in your heart found in HIM who makes it disappear
Less weary chasing after empty success that falls aground like tears
Less willful of your own plans that fail here
Less want of the world’s lust wandering into sin that causes pain and torment so severe
Less wasting away in your illness with HIS acceptance of all that you are by caring for yourself to improve mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health adhere
Less wavering in unbelief by simply believing HE will turn your life around with HIS patience and gentleness steer
Less wondering about what ifs of the past that HE uses in your future to help others made more clear
Less while HE becomes more to you during your extended years
~
More faith in HIS truth so you’re no longer unruly that will no longer duly offend
More hope and trust in HIS ways you can truly depend on now that you’re newly opened
More love in HIS life abiding to be a light shining in darkness to give freely and often
More mercy from HIS healing throne of Heaven that is new every morning sent
More compassion from HIS heart to listen to others vent -even from suicide may prevent
More grace from HIS hand to lead and guide you along righteous paths that will leave no regret in retrospect
More of HIS Spirit welcoming within who will comfort you with HIS Presence, counsel you with HIS wisdom, and care for your well-being with moans expressed according to GOD’s will for your life when words of prayer fail to connect
More delighting in HIM to be given the desires of your heart meant to mend your dreams again made relevant where nightmares can’t circumvent
More freedom will come after suffering through a set timeframe where to live is Christ and to die is gain that is effective when wait on GOD’s timing and not your own as you wait to resurrect into HIS arms as Heaven’s resident
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Wait on HIM for new strength returning to soar above the storms on eagle’s wings freeing
Wait on HIM for renewing your mind with truth until having soundness of peace releasing
Wait on HIM for reviving your heart recreating within purity and right desires brought back into the land of the living reconvening
Wait on HIM for rescue unto redemption forthcoming that will restore your soul and implore within you vision, purpose, and meaning that’s increasing
Wait on HIM for refilling your cup to overflowing until refreshing your spirit into HIS will agreeing and being a doer of HIS Word unleashing
Wait on HIM watching as HE wins every battle in your war raging against the enemy who attempts at deceiving
Wait on HIM to direct your steps through open doors revealing
Wait on HIM for HIS promises open handed toward until receiving
Wait on HIM for complete healing that makes you whole whether here on earth or there in Heaven as the great reward for continually believing
YOU were there when I fell in the deepest pit of utter black darkness wraith of hope depressed
YOU were there when I laid down and could barely sit up to muster any faith to cope in my mess
YOU were there when I was a shell of emptiness with shallow breath as evidence not sure whether I’d ever have steps to be deft again or mend even from your nurturing obligations
YOU were there when I was in hell of loneliness like a death sentence, but you never left as I wept and hardly slept in weakness rend often to descend furthering complications
YOU were there in my broken brokenness lost in strife
YOU were there to awaken awareness into new life
YOU were there to believe for me when I couldn’t just be
YOU were there to perceive YOU’d free when I wouldn’t trust Thee
YOU were there when I couldn’t do anything
YOU were there to pull me through everything
YOU were there to encourage and rebuke readily
YOU were there to give reassurance resolute steadily
YOU were there until we were a growing family
YOU were there to fulfill that we were overflowing avidly
YOU were there when I was lost, then amazed by YOU found with YOUR grace, mercy, and compassion all around no longer the same without any shame
I am here because YOU counted the cost, and raised me up off the ground with purpose, vision, and a future with passion to abound now stronger for YOUR Name renown to proclaim
What is celebrated is JESUS crucified on the cross.
So HE died. What is that to me?
It was for you… for me… for the whole world…
There is an intimate, radical, and victorious reason HE did so to be remembered and for some to newly discover…
JESUS knew he was about to die before it happened. HE mentions it to HIS disciples that it was imminent.
“As you know, the Passover is two days away—and the Son of Man will be handed over to be crucified.” Matthew 26:2
JESUS makes it even more evident of HIS coming death by letting them know how important the woman is who poured out her perfume on HIM…
While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of Simon the Leper,a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table.
When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. “Why this waste?” they asked.“This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.”
Aware of this, Jesus said to them, “Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me.The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me.When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial.Truly I tell you, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.” Matthew 26: 6-13
As HE shared the Last Supper with HIS disciples, HE also knew one of HIS disciples would betray HIM. HE foreknew the previous event: Then one of the Twelve—the one called Judas Iscariot—went to the chief priestsand asked, “What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?” So they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver.16 From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over. Matthew 26:14
Even during the meal that night, JESUS made it known who would betray HIM.
Jesus replied, “The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me.The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born.”
Then Judas, the one who would betray him, said, “Surely you don’t mean me, Rabbi?”
Jesus answered, “You have said so.” Matthew 23-25
Have you ever felt darkness of being betrayed by someone you knew well. For you, it may be devastating. JESUS knows and understands what you’ve felt and gone through…
Darkness would fall on Judas Iscariot.
When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders.“I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.”
“What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.”
So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself. Matthew 27:3-5
You don’t need to respond like Judas!!… You can turn back to JESUS, ask for forgiveness, and be restored to right relationship with GOD again… If you have not known JESUS, you can turn to HIM for the first time and ask for forgiveness, ask JESUS to come into your heart and life, and repent to live the new life JESUS paid for, by HIS death, for you to have…
JESUS went on to say that night that all the disciples would not stay with HIM even when Peter said that he would still be there for HIM even if all the others weren’t. Then Peter said he would even die with HIM. The other disciples also said they would die with HIM.
Then Jesus told them, “This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written:
“‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’
But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.”
Peter replied, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.”
“Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.”
But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the other disciples said the same. Matthew 26: 31-35
Have you ever experienced your friends or family not being there for you in your darkest hour? JESUS knows and understand this so well… HE is One who is there for you, will walk with you through it, and lead you into HIS Light if you will trust and abide i\n HIM while waiting for your breakthroughs in GOD’s timing and way…
Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.”He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled.Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”
Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”
40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter.41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
42 He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”
43 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy.44 So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.
45 Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners.46 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”
Darkness fell upon JESUS. HE understands the mental, emotional, and spiritual torment that can be experienced in this life… An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him.44 And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. Luke 22: 43-44 Though JESUS’ experience is to a greater degree, have you ever felt so much anguish awakening from a nightmare or feel like you’re living a nightmare and you’re sweating profusely? I have! Again, HE can be relied upon to support you, care for you, and see you through it… HE loves those with depression and/or mental illness. It took me 19 years of dealing on and off with depression and mental illness with ongoing faith and trust being placed in JESUS to see HIS victories in my life, HIS peace finally breakthrough during extreme trials/temptations, and HIS perfect love cast out my fears… If HE did it for me, HE will do it for you too…
JESUS is then betrayed by Judas Iscariot. Soldiers advance to arrest JESUS. The disciples pull their swords and one of the disciples cuts off a servant of the high priest’s ear to which JESUS immediately tells them to put away their swords and heals the servant’s ear back into place.
While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people.Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.”Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him.
Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him.With that, one of Jesus’ companions reached for his sword, drew it out and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear.
“Put your sword back in its place,” Jesus said to him, “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword.Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?”
In that hour Jesus said to the crowd, “Am I leading a rebellion, that you have come out with swords and clubs to capture me? Every day I sat in the temple courts teaching, and you did not arrest me.But this has all taken place that the writings of the prophets might be fulfilled.” Then all the disciples deserted him and fled. Matthew 26: 47-56
Have you ever felt abandoned and left all alone in your troubles? Though JESUS could have been helped by GOD the FATHER and angels be called upon to save and deliver HIM, HE willingly surrendered. Was this suicide? Would he take HIS own life? No, JESUS would not take HIS own life!!! HE gave HIS own life… with willingness to die at the hands of those in earthly command by sinners for the benefit of all sinners who would turn to HIM to be saved… There is an emphatic and distinct difference. How can you give your life in service to JESUS, rather than take your life ending your opportunities to make a positive difference while alive? You may find yourself in the midst of the darkest depression or season of your mental illness. If so, you need to rely on JESUS to care for you and even carry you along. Then begin to practice loving and caring for yourself the way JESUS does until you are able to do that which may help others… Let HIM rescue, restore, and redeem your life in order to have a testimony to share with others who need your compassion in being an example of what JESUS can also do for them…
Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13
JESUS was brought before the Sanhedrin, where the chief priests looked for and made up reasons why JESUS should be put to death. Peter followed within a crowd to see what would happen. JESUS was accused falsely, spit at, and hit with fists… During this time, Peter is noticed as one who was seen with JESUS. Peter had come as far as he was able in his own strength to remain as near JESUS as he could muster.
Now Peter was sitting out in the courtyard, and a servant girl came to him. “You also were with Jesus of Galilee,” she said.
But he denied it before them all. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.
Then he went out to the gateway, where another servant girl saw him and said to the people there, “This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth.”
He denied it again, with an oath: “I don’t know the man!”
After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.”
Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!”
Immediately a rooster crowed.Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly. Matthew 26: 69-75
Darkness fell on Peter. He failed in the fight, fell away in fear, and had forsaken JESUS whom he loved in moments of weakened faith. Maybe you can relate on some level. You haven’t lived up to who you thought you were or are meant to be. You were broken by it. JESUS knows and understands!!!…
JESUS goes before the governor Pilate. He asks JESUS if HE is the King of the Jews? JESUS replied “You have said so.” However, when the chief priests and elders were accusing HIM, HE said nothing in response. Pilate did not want to hand JESUS over to be crucified. He gave the option of releasing Barabbas, a criminal, or JESUS who is called the Messiah. The crowd called for Barabbas to be freed. He asked what do you want to do with JESUS. They all yelled “crucify HIM!” Pilate, still not wanting to have JESUS executed, asked for what crime HE had committed. But the crowd yelled even louder “crucify HIM!”
Have you ever been accused of something you haven’t done? Or have you ever felt a part of you die when someone accused of you something you did do wrong? JESUS committed no crime, but was sentenced to die. Yet he would die for “crimes”. It was for our crimes (sins) that we have committed.
Then the governor’s soldiers took Jesus into the Praetorium and gathered the whole company of soldiers around him.They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him,29 and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand. Then they knelt in front of him and mocked him. “Hail, king of the Jews!” they said.30 They spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again.31 After they had mocked him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him away to crucify him. Matthew 27: -31
Have you ever been humiliated and/or beaten down? No one has experienced the depths of that which JESUS did. So HE understands and is compassionate toward you.
Just as there were many who were appalled at him[c]— his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any human being and his form marred beyond human likeness— Isaiah 52:14
As the soldiers led HIM away, Simon from Cyrene was made to carry JESUS’ cross. Two criminals were also executed on either side of JESUS.
When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left.34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23: 33-34
If JESUS forgave those who were putting HIM to death, wouldn’t HE forgive you for whatever you have done! HE would and HE will…
One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!”
But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence?41 We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”
Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.[d]”
Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” Luke 23: 39-43
JESUS was able to also forgive and accept the criminal dying next to him who had no time to change his actions or fix/make course corrections for his life. Yet that criminal acknowledged his sin, realized JESUS could save him, and simply asked JESUS to remember him. If you’re still breathing, you are able to turn to JESUS by acknowledging your sin to GOD, believing in JESUS being able to forgive and accept you, and trusting in HIM to remember you to live in HIS Kingdom forevermore… Ask HIM… Maybe, you’re remembering a time when you were closer to JESUS, but have strayed and wandered off the path. You may still make a course correction and return to HIM who is the Shepherd and Overseer of your soul… It is okay to restart a walk with HIM again…
It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon,for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two.Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last. Luke 23: 44-46
Has depression and/or a mental illness darkened your view of life right now? Has it felt as though the brightness of the sun once shining brightly in your life has faded somehow? Though there is darkness now, there will be a day when the SON will shine all the more brighter again for you… for all who have believed and trusted in JESUS… if not here, then for sure in Heaven…
GOD’s plan to punish the crimes committed by the world was to place all “our” sins upon HIS SON JESUS. HE was to die for us, in our place, for GOD to be able to forgive us and take away our sins by HIS death… All of GOD’s wrath fell upon JESUS, so it wouldn’t fall on us. GOD let darkness cover the whole land. Our whole darkness covered HIM. HE died once and for all. For you, for me, for all of us… Will the Light shine again? Look forward to reading my next post soon to understand better what I mean… JESUS wouldn’t stay dead… Life is about to be new…
Isaiah 53
The Suffering Servant
53 Who has believed our message? And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed? 2 For He grew up before Him like a tender shoot, And like a root out of parched ground; He has no stately form or majesty That we should look upon Him, Nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him. 3 He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; And like one from whom men hide their face He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.
4 Surely our griefs He Himself bore, And our sorrows He carried; Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, Smitten of God, and afflicted. 5 But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, And by His scourging we are healed. All of us like sheep have gone astray, Each of us has turned to his own way; But the Lord has caused the iniquity of us all To fall on Him.
7 He was oppressed and He was afflicted, Yet He did not open His mouth; Like a lamb that is led to slaughter, And like a sheep that is silent before its shearers, So He did not open His mouth. 8 By oppression and judgment He was taken away; And as for His generation, who considered That He was cut off out of the land of the living For the transgression of my people, to whom the stroke was due? 9 His grave was assigned with wicked men, Yet He was with a rich man in His death, Because He had done no violence, Nor was there any deceit in His mouth.
10 But the Lord was pleased To crush Him, putting Him to grief; If He would render Himself as a guilt offering, He will see His offspring, He will prolong His days, And the good pleasure of the Lord will prosper in His hand. 11 As a result of the [p]anguish of His soul, He will see it and be satisfied; By His knowledge the Righteous One, My Servant, will justify the many, As He will bear their iniquities. 12 Therefore, I will allot Him a portion with the great, And He will divide the booty with the strong; Because He poured out Himself to death, And was numbered with the transgressors; Yet He Himself bore the sin of many, And interceded for the transgressors.
if you ask… -to give relief from grief and break chains that have you bound from outward stress
if you seek… -to find refreshing from fears threshing all around distress
if you knock… -to open the door to restore from agitations that drown and inward press
HE will soon provide your soul’s needed rest
To persevere in prayer for healing from anxieties that oppress
To make it up and out, through to the other side of darkness
To find hope and purpose arise from under life’s duress
Within HIS reach is peace of a sound mind to once again possess
Within HIS reach is peace of a pure heart to once again find more love rather than less and less
Within HIS reach is peace of a restored soul to once again enter into the light of the living acquiesce
Within HIS reach is a peace of a free spirit to once again soar from the nest awaiting Heaven’s address
So delight yourself in the LORD holding onto HIS rope of 3 chord strand not easily broken to stay out of that prison that arrests
For more of HIM move toward with trusting openness
HE will give the desires of your heart as a reward in being HIS invited guest becoming a part of HIS family into relational oneness with adoption’s kindness
You’re more than a conqueror in Christ whose blood for you outpoured for all of who you are with all your mess, a valuable treasure, HE did purchase
You’re worth not giving up on so wait on the LORD and implore for HIS help in your depression, press on… press on… no longer suppress what you want and need to express and confess; all of you HE accepts
For HIM to renew strength on HIS eagle’s wings to soar above the darkness to bring HIS Light and Love to those below with HIS Presence offering that same forgiveness, acceptance, and healing’s essence
Hear HIS mighty roar resonance remembering HE fights your battles in the war uplifting you out of death’s sentence
There is the bird who once was childlike free who didn’t know what kind of bird he was to be, nor did he care, for life was carefree/cage free. Then upon life circumstances with upheaval, taken away from his nest and known territory, he was caged by depression not trusting in others for many years that were, if in a normal upbringing, meant to be growing in confidence with close relationships to the flock, but did not. Love from his relatives were gone. The love of his immediate family was not enough. There were a few friends of the same feather that helped somewhat along the juvenile journey. For the most part though, he didn’t trust any birds and began to hate them. Then upon meeting another bird, who happened to be caged worse than he, was surprisingly set free by his willingness to be a friend to listen and be there for support, and so he too was freed from his own cage seeing the door open and wanted to help others from now on. He began to care. This became another aspect of freedom not known before that gave his life purpose and meaning. Then he met another special bird and a new type of love occurred of a greater trust and acceptance to enjoy more time together in a bond of friendship. However, they became separated after a time ~across an ocean’s distance~, knowing he could go back to the cage, did not. Now a stronger love was something altogether new and wonderful enough to pursue again. Then he met upon another special bird and tried to be more free than before, yet it wasn’t meant to be. He was too immature, not ready for such commitment. What to do? So he looked up and asked for help. He came to know more about his Creator and the Savior. He was shown care in an unexpected manner and was shown a new way, new truth, and new life. He was set free to taste its goodness and was no longer as depressed, fearful, and anxious anymore. Life was good again with room to breathe the open air, chicklike once again. This time flying in higher skies, finding the wondrous updrafts never known before. He enjoyed this special time with other birds who had learned of HIS wondrous Love. Then he moved away from his family to learn how to live on his own. Life was an adventure and so much did the world have to offer. He didn’t hang around the birds anymore that shared His Love. He spent less time learning to soar. Alone now, he tried to fly around closer to the ground, often stumbling, hitting barriers and obstacles to find more freedom along the way apart from his family, apart from that special unconditional Love of his friends, and apart from the Creator who had shown him such unique and profound Love, but chose to go after what hurt his soul, mind, heart, and spirit instead and became caged worse than before, pulled down by the world’s gravity and felt the shadows of death looming, nearing, taking over, drowning under. He gave up, unable to fly at all, and tried to die. A feeling so dark, desperate, and separate from pure true love that he needed, wanted, and cried out for overwhelmed him… He was wounded by careless lust and pride and lost his will and ability to fly. He did not die however, and instead was caged more securely. This terrifying dread was worse. Fearful of life and fearful of death. Utter despair! He knew he couldn’t fly out of this. He couldn’t walk or even crawl out. Would anyone help? No, another bird would not help. Well, there was one bird, for only a few minutes of time came over to him, shared from the heart, that gave a glimmer of hope to which he was thankful -so he didn’t give up. He cried out to the only One who could save him, who had shown him that unconditional freeing Love once again, from the lowest and deepest of depths. Soon, after his cries were heard, the bird was released to start a new life, a miracle release. This time, the bird would not go back to the cruelty of the world’s temptations. He began to desire helping other birds again and so trudged on foot with the hope he could make a positive difference. He began to feel the freedom in offering kindness and encouragement to others once again. Love was being restored within. There was evidence that he was, in fact, impacting other birds for good. Once again, he attempted to love another bird that also was not meant to be (he was trying to fly, but still disabled). Then, the bird he was meant to be with, appeared, and new life began again and near this wonderful bird began to heal and fly alongside, now two together as one family and baby chicks were born to raise. However, the bird still faced the reminders and memories of the dark path, where demon vultures lurked who wanted him to die, hating that he had been released in the first place (for he had come so very close to death’s decay). He was soon imprisoned in a cage more tightly, this seemingly more hopeless than ever. Wait a minute -just a second, with no time to spare, he was miraculously released again. On and off he fluttered with broken wings and awful scars and floundered as though he would be better as a fish. He turned to his Savior more than ever and the bird found courage and strength in his Creator and fought with faith, trust, and desire to know the ultimate freedom that was not found in his struggle toward death, but found in the struggle to live and discover the purpose and hope awaiting him; the reason he was here in the first place… He could have easily given up and just died or try suicide again. He found and learned of a love for his Creator, his Savior, his mate, his chicks and a love for others growing. Love with love in himself was to be given away. But life being life still had its problems and challenges. He was caged several more times in places he was not fond of at all, but the steel bars were only temporary. Then, even though he was caged, he no longer saw the bars. He was free if he was caged and he was more free when he was not. Yet, with each caging, he began to face his fears to continue overcoming the darkness that had been trying to capture him, overtake him, and destroy him ever since a very young chick. Death and curses did not prevail; Light dispersed all darkness; wherein life and blessing won ultimately. LOVE did not fail!!!… LOVE does not fail… LOVE never fails… So this is not the end, but one of many beginnings for this eagle he realized he was, at one time began to think of himself and act only as a chicken, who now soars on the Creator’s wind updrafts with much needed grace… all because the Creator’s mercy and compassion were given for one struggling to live life, for one facing death many times, and for one continuing to get up to learn to fly and discover the purpose and a hope prepared in advance for him to be and do… Now, he doesn’t fear death, yet will not choose to kill himself. More importantly than this is that he no longer fears to live…
Isaiah 40:30-31
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Suicide Not God's Heart 