Ever? Never! Forever…

Ever deserted

Ever deceived

Ever devastated

 

With HIM in the end

Never deserted

Never deceived 

Never devastated

 

Ever doubted

Ever debated

Ever debilitated

 

With HIM in Heaven

Forever trusted

Forever answered

Forever new reinstated

Fireflies

Dusk to Night

Chase the firefly

Capture in a jar

Where you are

A child’s fun to know

 

See the light

Embrace the why

After glimpse the stars

Doesn’t seem that far

Set free from so low

 

North to South contrite

Face it to still try

Stature broken within did mar

Never give up if just restart

Stand, up to par, run to grow

 

Must remember the fight

Race that I might comply

Gather in from the dark

No matter what their scars

Faith, hope, and love will show

 

Mercy anew ignite

Grace take flight

Rapture within compassion’s spark

Go relentless win their hearts

Keep refilling cups to overflow

 

Gain wisdom’s insight

Trace HIS steps that I might

Rather serve to save as state of the art

Teach the Word faithfully so won’t depart

All I am to live as Christ and die as gain bestow

 

With truth deny the lies

Soar above lows to reach on high

Matters in life the course you chart

Seek for Heaven’s pure wisdom to impart

Remember to rescue those fallen lost below

 

Let go the fireflies

Before they die

Scatter freed from the fortifying rampart

Worthwhile to shine set apart

Never forget to glow

 

Dawn to light

Chase the prize

Recapture all who’ve missed the mark

More faith is given to embark

Pressing on so others follow -Heavenward always go

 

S.T.A.R.T.S. with Forgiveness

If you're overwhelmed by suicidal thoughts 
or have a plan for suicide, it is ok to
get help from a mental health professional 
for meds to help support you 
as well as counseling as you look to be hopeful again 
and better manage your precious life 
(especially if you've been abused or experienced trauma in any way)...
You're worthwhile and valuable...
I care about you!!...  Reach out to me anytime...
I want you to be an overcomer and a fighter...
L.ive O.n V.ictorious E.ndeavor
Choose L.O.V.E.; 
L.ift-up I.nspirational F.uture E.ndure
Choose L.I.F.E.

In my acronym, S.T.A.R.T.S. will mean: 

something you do…

something new you do… 

something you continue to do…

Spiritual

Truths

Activated

Renew/Restore/Replenish

Together

Soundness

What is Forgiveness?

I did not like the definition of forgive in the Merriam Webster dictionary due in part that it said “cease to feel”.  To forgive someone or yourself is more than that and also different than that.  I believe you can forgive, yet still feel the hurt and pain until a process of healing takes place over time where feelings about it begin to diminish and for some the feeling may never fully go away.  There is more hope then to have the ability to forgive if we know that feelings involved may still linger on…  The good news is that GOD is willing, available, and able to help us forgive if we are struggling with this very thing.

So I looked up the Greek word of forgive.  It is aphíēmi.  

It comes from the root word apo and híēmi.

ἀπό apó, apo’ means:

a primary particle; “off,” i.e. away (from something near), in various senses (of place, time, or relation; literal or figurative):—(X here-)after, ago, at, because of, before, by (the space of), for(-th), from, in, (out) of, off, (up-)on(-ce), since, with.

ἵημι híēmi means:

(to send; an intensive form of εἶμι eîmi, to go)

So let’s think of forgive as even just these 2 words separately (apó) and (híēmi)

If we choose apó, then we may take “off” and move “away” (from something near) in various senses (of place, time, or relation).  Then if we choose híēmi, we may “send” it away in order “to go” forward…

This is so good what to forgive does for us.

Here is what it looks like:  I forgive __________ to take “off” this hurt done to me and move “away” from it.  I “send” it away in order “to go” forward…

Here is a new way to approach an experience of forgiving as a decision made with this process now in mind to do and an action within the heart to occur:

Ex. 1

I will forgive __________ because I need to take the abuse that happened in the past “off” my life and move “away” from ___________ and that which has been so near affecting my senses (thoughts, emotions, feelings of my mind, heart, soul, and spirit wounds) where I have been haunted/fearful/anxious/angry/depressed/suicidal by certain places, time it occurred through time up until now, and in my relations with myself and others.  I “send” this abuse away to YOU GOD in order “to go” forward in new life with a new start…  Begin to heal me within…

Ex. 2

I will forgive myself because I need to take the addiction that happened in the past “off” my life and move “away” from addiction and that which has been so near affecting my senses (thoughts, emotions, feelings of my mind, heart, soul, and spirit wounds) where I have been haunted/fearful/anxious/angry/depressed/suicidal by certain places, time it occurred through time up until now, and in my relations with myself and others.  I “send” this addiction away to GOD in order “to go” forward in new life with a new start…

Ex. 3

I will forgive __________ because I need to take the rejection that happened in the past “off” my life and move “away” from the act of rejection by ___________ and that which has been so near affecting my senses (thoughts, emotions, feelings of my mind, heart, soul, and spirit wounds) where I have been haunted/fearful/anxious/angry/depressed/suicidal by certain places, time it occurred through time up until now, and in my relations with myself and others.  I “send” this rejection I’ve experienced away to GOD in order “to go” forward in new life with a new start…

When combined together, here is the meaning:

ἀφίημι aphíēmi, af-ee’-ay-mee;

from apo  G575 and ἵημι híēmi (to send; an intensive form of εἶμι eîmi, to go); to send forth, in various applications (as follow):—cry, forgive, forsake, lay aside, leave, let (alone, be, go, have), omit, put (send) away, remit, suffer, yield up.

What is allowed:

I cry.  I cry because of what ____________ has done to me.  I cry in release from _____________ in order to forgive _____________.  I cry now that _______________ has no hold on me. I cry to begin my healing journey.

I forgive__________ for what he’s done/ she’s done/ they’ve done/ I’ve done.

I can forsake my abuser/ my addiction now that I’ve forgiven.

I lay aside what was done to me by _____________ since I’ve forgiven ____________.

I leave ____________ in the past because I’ve forgiven _____________ for a new beginning.

I let alone/be/go/have what was done to me by ______________ to be in my past for I’ve forgiven _______________ and move on so my present begins healing on into my future.

I omit __________ from my life now that I’ve forgiven _____________ who no longer will have a hold on me.

I put (send) away ___________ from affecting my life any longer since I have forgiven _______________.

I remit what _____________ has cause in my life for I forgive ________________.

I suffer due to what ______________ did, but I forgive ______________  so that my suffering will let me grow in all areas to be a better person for myself and others.

I yield up ______________ to you now GOD to deal with, now that I’ve forgiven _________________.

Forgiveness then is letting go of the hurt and pain caused by another, others, or oneself:

• to start anew
• to begin the healing process
• to drop the heavy load you’ve been carrying
• to break off the hold another or others have had on you that is bringing you down
• to be free from the mental anguish, internal conflicts, and/or suicidal ideation
• to becoming more free from the emotional fears, anxieties, anger, depression in order to deal with life positively and effectively
• to allow for grieving (5 stages:  denial/isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance)
• to move on from toxic relationships
• to move on past self-harm and/or addiction
• to accept, care for, and love yourself
• to love others and have meaningful and special relationships
• to love GOD

Be Forgiven To Forgive

GOD lets us know we are all in need of ultimate forgiveness and this is accomplished by recognizing our need for our own forgiveness, asking HIM for forgiveness, and believing in and trusting in HIS SON JESUS to come into our hearts to save us and help us live a new life:

²² This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, ²³ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ²⁴ and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.²⁵ God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement,^[i] through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished— ²⁶ he did it to demonstrate his righteousness at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.  Romans 3: 22-26

You may be afraid to come to the LORD because of your own sin (it is too much, your guilt is to heavy, and your shame is unbearable), yet HE wants you to come and be forgiven:

19 Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,  Acts 3:19

18 “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.  Isaiah 1:18

12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.  Psalm 103:12

How can you know for sure you’re forgiven and saved:

But what does it say? “The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,” that is, the message concerning faith that we proclaim:

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. Romans 10:8-10

Who is forgiveness for:

for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”  Romans 10:13

John 3:16-17

¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. ¹⁷ For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

GOD in HIS Word tells us to forgive others:

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

3 So watch yourselves. “If your brother or sistersins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. 4 Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”  Luke 17:3-4

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.  Ephesians 4:31-32

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

What happens when you forgive as GOD wants you to?  You are still angry about what the person/people have done?  GOD says in HIS Word that HE will deal with that person/people:

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.  Romans 12:19

After accepting JESUS and now being forgiven, what happens if I sin again not wanting to.  Every Believer is going to sin after receiving JESUS as LORD and Savior.  Because of your relationship being reconciled to GOD, you are now able to confess your sin to HIM and not hide it.  HE will forgive you and purify you when turning back to HIM with a repentant heart desiring for restored relationship.  Then walk again being forgiven.

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

This is in no way a license to continue sinning purposefully or in pride thinking HE won’t deal with it at some point.  HE will convict us of our sin by HIS Spirit and we will need to turn in repentance with humility.  If we are prideful and continue sinning, HE will humble us.

Hebrews 12:4-7

God Disciplines His Children

⁴ In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. ⁵ And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
    and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
⁶ because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
    and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”^[a]

⁷ Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children…

Hebrews 4:15-16

¹⁵ For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. ¹⁶ Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Examples of Forgiveness

You may have a family member or close friend that wronged you in some way, but you don’t want GOD to repay with a vengeance. Can you forgive someone close to you and pray that GOD would have mercy on them?

Yes!  A resounding yes…

Read about Moses, after getting the Ten Commandments, was told by GOD that HIS people HE rescued out of slavery from Egypt, had made an idol to worship instead of remembering GOD and what HE had done for them.  GOD was ready to punish them and said HE would put them to death and start over.  Moses prayed and asked GOD to not hold it against them and to remember HIS covenant and what HE had done to deliver HIS people.  GOD listened to Moses and relented.

You may have a family member/members that wronged you in some way and GOD will use you to bring about good for the one or all involved.  There may be a future story of you being used of GOD to rescue, restore, provide, or protect in some way.

Read about Joseph who was mistreated and rejected by his brothers, sold into slavery, and then rise to leadership by Pharaoh in Egypt.  GOD used Joseph to save his family from a widespread famine and ultimately forgive his brothers of their wrongdoing accepting them and their families with places to live in Egypt.

You may have been used by a sibling that took from your parent in some way and you received nothing or less than.

Read about when Esau Forgives Jacob after Jacob returns during a long time away from Esau.  Jacob had fled when he learned Esau wanted to kill him for taking away his birthright and then later took his father’s blessing away from Esau as well.

You may have sinned greatly causing much harm to yourself and another/others.  You are discouraged and don’t know if GOD will forgive “this”.

Read about David and Bathsheba where David sees her bathing and sends messenger for her to come and lay with him.  He finds out she becomes pregnant while her husband Uriah is out fighting in the war.  He tries to cover up his offense at Uriah’s expense.  When Uriah is not cooperative with David’s plan, David orders that Uriah be put on the front lines and then have the army withdraw so that he dies.  Nathan confronts David about his sin.  David turns to the LORD in repentance and asks for forgiveness.  GOD forgives David, but there are consequences for his selfish sin.  Now the child they conceived together dies.  GOD restores David and blesses him and Bathsheba when HE allows them to bear another son named Solomon.

Focus For Forgiveness

Here is a model prayer to pray to GOD for forgiveness from extreme guilt and shame of the greatest of sin we may have committed:

Psalm 51

For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

¹ Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
² Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin.

³ For I know my transgressions,
    and my sin is always before me.
⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned
    and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
    and justified when you judge.
⁵ Surely I was sinful at birth,
    sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
⁶ Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
    you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

⁷ Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
    wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
⁸ Let me hear joy and gladness;
    let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
⁹ Hide your face from my sins
    and blot out all my iniquity.

¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

¹³ Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
    so that sinners will turn back to you.
¹⁴ Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
    you who are God my Savior,
    and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
¹⁵ Open my lips, Lord,
    and my mouth will declare your praise.
¹⁶ You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
    you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
¹⁷ My sacrifice, O God, is^[b] a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart
    you, God, will not despise.

¹⁸ May it please you to prosper Zion,
to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
¹⁹ Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
in burnt offerings offered whole;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.

Power of Forgiveness

I have been changed by GOD’s forgiveness of my many sins.  I have learned from HIM by HIS extending to me forgiveness through HIS grace, mercy, and compassion.  Because of this change that has taken place within me, I am more apt to extend grace to others, to show mercy with cheerfulness, to listen with compassion, and to readily encourage others who need this.  I know HIS love more for me and I am able to love HIM and others in return.  I am now able to forgive others quickly and it be a regular response I have, since I was forgiven of so many sins, failures, and poor decisions in my own life.

Then one of the Pharisees asked Him to eat with him. And He went to the Pharisee’s house, and sat down to eat. And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, and stood at His feet behind Himweeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil. Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, “This Man, if He were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner.”

Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.” “Tell me, teacher,” he said. “Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.” “You have judged correctly,” Jesus said.

Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven–as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?” Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”  Luke 7:36-50

I so love this story of JESUS forgiving this distraught woman who so powerfully showed love to HIM…  A person who is forgiven much loves much!  When you’re forgiven, you become a more loving person to GOD and to others…

Science of Forgiveness

Click the link below and read the full review about Forgiveness:

Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley: Forgiveness

The Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley covers the following topics:

What is Forgiveness?  Why Practice It?  How Do I Cultivate It?  

It is well worth the read and has science based research about forgiveness.

Here is some of the information from the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley:

What Is Forgiveness?  

We can learn about it from what forgiveness is not:

• it’s not glossing over or denying the seriousness of the offense against you
• it’s not having to forget the offense nor accepting/excusing the offense as ok/right
• it’s not having to reconcile with the person who harmed you especially in the case of abuse
• it’s not releasing them from legal accountability in the case of severe wrongs

Why Practice It?  

Here are just a few benefits:

• makes us happier
• protects our mental health
• improves our health
• sustains relationships
• good for marriages
• boosts kindness and connectedness

How Do I Cultivate It?

Here are just a few ways:

• it’s something you do for you, not a gift for someone else (though I do believe you can also gift someone with forgiveness if your heart is to reconcile or help them too)
• express your emotions to yourself and to others
• consider what you’ve learned from what happened to you -if there has been something positive gained from it
• practice empathy
• practice mindfulness of hurt feelings to choose forgiveness more readily
• understand forgiveness is a process

S.T.A.R.T.S. with Pouring Out Your Heart

If you're overwhelmed by suicidal thoughts 
or have a plan for suicide, it is ok to
get help from a mental health professional 
for meds to help support you 
as well as counseling as you look to be hopeful again 
and better manage your precious life 
(especially if you've been abused or experienced trauma in any way)...
You're worthwhile and valuable...
I care about you!!...  Reach out to me anytime...
I want you to be an overcomer and a fighter...
L.ive O.n V.ictorious E.ndeavor
Choose L.O.V.E.; 
L.ift-up I.nspirational F.uture E.ndure
Choose L.I.F.E.

 

 

In my acronym, S.T.A.R.T.S. will mean: 

something you do…

something new you do… 

something you continue to do…

 

Spiritual

Truths

Activated

Renew/Restore/Replenish

Together

Soundness

 

The Cambridge Dictionary states that:

pour your  heart out

​to tell someone your secret feelings and things that worry you, usually because you feel a strong need to talk about them

 

The Free Dictionary by Farlex states further that:

pour your heart out

To share one’s deepest or most intimate emotions, thoughts, or secrets, especially in a profuse or sudden manner.

express your deepest feelings or thoughts in a full and unrestrained way.

Our Need

With being human, we all need an outlet to release our thoughts and emotions in a constructive manner that will ultimately benefit us with sharing such things with someone rather than keeping it all within – “bottled up” per say.

A bad attitude toward life may be due to holding within bitterness toward a person who has wronged us or toward difficult life event/s without ever dealing with the thoughts and emotions that accompany it.

Depression personally may be due to holding within anger toward self, anger and grief about missed opportunities, or anger and grief about difficult life circumstances (including loss of a loved one) that have happened over time.

Ways of Expression for Sweet Release

My favorite way to pour out my heart is through writing poetry and sharing my hurts, disappointments, difficulties, and sadness with GOD HIMSELF in learning to trust HIM to use hardships, trials, and tribulations to build within me faith and strong character.  I allow HIM to mold me into a better person through it all.

If I kept everything in without talking about it and dealing with it, I would go back into deep depression that I experienced as a youth. I once kept everything in.  I didn’t talk.  I was a loner for the most part, with only a few friends.  All my thoughts and emotions were locked away.  What I experienced because of this was anger inside, anger at life, mistrust of people, and really being a hateful person.  It was a detriment to me personally.  What if I had someone to talk to about what I dealt with instead of going it alone.  I didn’t have a relationship with GOD, at the time, who would have listened to me and helped me had I known I could turn to HIM for HIS care and support.  Life is difficult enough without having to also deal with unresolved and negative thoughts and emotions weighing heavily on the mind, heart, soul, and spirit.

A river needs to have an outlet to move along in forward motion as rains fill it to overflowing.  A river whose outlet is the ocean finds release from the pressure that otherwise builds up as in the case if a dam was built to contain it.

Our minds need an outlet for our thoughts, our hearts need to have an outlet for our emotions to move along forward in this life, our souls need to have an outlet to share hopes and dreams, and our spirit needs an outlet to connect to JESUS and our future in eternity…

If we don’t have an outlet, then negativity backs up, builds up pressure, causes one to erupt at some point with damaging consequences that may include suicidal thoughts and/or suicide attempts as an extreme measure seemingly forced into.  It simply becomes too much to handle and the stress is now too overwhelming.

Who To Turn To

If you have a close friend to talk to about anything and everything, consider yourself blessed to have that special someone in your life.  Not everyone has that.

Going to a counselor to help sort through life’s baggage that may include depression, mental illness, suicidal ideation, abuse, and/or trauma can bring breakthroughs in your life as you face these giants head on and learn to overcome and heal from the hurts you’ve experienced. It takes time, sometimes a very long time to see results.

I have my wife who is my helpmate for sure and can listen to a certain extent.  Yet, I don’t have that one guy in my life that I can talk with, be accountable to, and share my burdens I experience through life.

If you’re like me and need someone other than your spouse or a counselor, then GOD is the relationship you are to establish that can change everything in a positive direction…

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.  Isaiah 9:6

JESUS is the Wonderful Counselor who fills that deep seated need for support and encouragement we all need…

JESUS is Mighty GOD who fills the role of Protector and a Defense against our enemies…

JESUS is Everlasting FATHER who fills the role giving us the love and provision we need…

JESUS is Prince of Peace who fills the role of giving HIS peace within us to deal with anything that comes our way…

Pour Out Your Heart to GOD

Pouring out your heart to GOD is the single most beneficial thing you can do in your life.  He listens and understands.  JESUS, when HE came to earth as one of us (human too), experienced every type of temptation, stress, emotions, and thoughts yet was without sin. After HE died on the cross to satisfy GOD’s wrath, overcome death, deal with our enemies including satan, and to deal with and forgive our sin, HE became our High Priest who understands our weaknesses, daily bears our burdens, and prays for us.  HE knows and understands us more than anyone else can.

 

Pouring out your heart to GOD = extreme closeness to the heart of GOD

David, a shepherd boy, who later became the king of GOD’s people  is known as a man after GOD’s own heart.  Do you know why he was a man after GOD’s own heart.  David turned to GOD whenever he was dealing with life’s ups and downs and poured out his heart to HIM.  He wasn’t perfect and sinned in terrible ways.  So why then was he still a man after GOD’s own heart.  He made many mistakes, yet he turned to GOD quickly and asked for forgiveness and desired the relationship to be restored.  When good happened in his life, he turned to GOD and gave HIM thanks.  David is the author of many of the Psalms in the Bible.  If you want examples of pouring out your heart to GOD, you can read through the Psalms which are heartfelt pouring out of emotions and thoughts that were burdensome to bear and deeply troubling to heartfelt pouring out of emotions and thoughts expressing gratitude.

 

I highly recommend getting a spiral notebook or other journal and begin the process of pouring out your heart of all its emotions and thoughts, hopes and dreams, failures and successes, and deepest needs expressed to GOD and you will be radically changed for the better by doing so…  Share your thoughts with HIM, cast your cares and anxieties onto HIM from your heart, bare your soul to HIM, and send up flares from your spirit unto HIM…  As you do so over time, things will begin to transform within you through development of your seeking relationship with your Creator who knows all things, knows you, knows what you need and yet wants you to just talk to HIM…

 

Pouring out your heart to GOD is a way of delighting in HIM… There is a wonderful promise to receive when we do this…

 

Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

As I have delighted in the LORD, HE has given me some desires of my heart already:

* a wife

* children

* inspiration to write (mostly poetry)

* deliverance from fears and anxieties and being suicidal

* help and support with my mental illness (more of a sound mind and peace within)

* an orphan ministry

* ability to serve with children as one of my passions

* a heart of compassion with ability to show mercy with cheerfulness and to encourage others

* desire to be a pastor

Psalm 62:5-8

⁵ Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
⁶ Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
⁷ My salvation and my honor depend on God^[a];
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
⁸ Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.

 

 

 

Blue Hues

 

Sing the blues

Nudged analyzing

Beating heart not alone; relating deeply froze within more quickly stocked of proof

Repeating parts unknown; fading steeply closed the open door strictly locked aloof

 

Out of the blue

Flood rising

Heaving beneath me uprising -dares something that would despair as if from a warmonger; unaware as it towered over mocked in bout of how to move

Leaving me grieved -fretting there’s nothing that good to share any longer; stare as a coward in shock without a clue

 

Feeling blue

Blood comprising

Blinking moments nothing new

Shrinking monotony mental agony grew

 

Black and blue

Stunned compromising

Weakening in the fight forlorn; yearn for my Friend an empty feeling to deploy with hint of doom

Deepening apart from the Light cornered by the enemy stealing all joy left in my room

 

Got the blues

Mud despising

Fleeting luck in this life seemingly blew above my head into outer space bound with death sentence flew

Seething amok with strife reeling; need to shove aside dread, sin, doubt -turn pace around meant with repentance reprove

 

Beyond the blue horizon remove

Trudged agonizing

Thinking and motion why tarries/ my very end later nears adieu

Deceiving and broken lies scare/ ties snare me again; greater fears loom

 

Deeper than the deep blue sea subdued

Thud immobilizing

Breathing at bay with drawl confused

Sinking away from all of you

 

Turning blue

Grudge surmising

Clinging to forever promises in lieu of madness now found to never ever be overdue

Interceding, HIS endeavor promises to approve of sadness abound/ astound together whatever needs over drew

 

Look to the skies in open blue

Overcome arising

Seeking height of mercy seat from whom my help (aligning when show contrite I now move upright) comes to  soon

See KING aright as High Priest from whom my hope (shining defense so bright I bow through the night) comes at noon

 

Once in a blue moon

Budge realizing the ONE recognizing

Freeing mercy cover over past bring; now unglued and from all that had me unglued

Relieving thirsty love astir everlasting; endow into and from HIS call that I gladly exude

 

True blue

Drudge galvanizing

Unshrinking back with face forward instead; set above like flint to live life sent anew

Leading attack with grace soar Heavenward indebted to love true ignite stint to give light into

 

Until blue in the face behoove

Dud demoralizing, won some advising, scud revising, undone advertising, run exercising, lungs emphasizing, SON energizing

Linking faith/ Truth to chase for breakthrough

Linking wraith testimony to race for souls accrue

 

Ocean blue

Adjudge enterprising

Reaching out to touch your shore to be restored

Teaching Fount you clutch toward to be adored

 

Roses are red, violets are blue

Bud devising

Bringing to all faith, hope, and love into view

Seeing with vision imbue

Believing the purpose to do

Receiving compassion construe

Conceiving beyond what to think, ask, or imagine until overflowing with the mission of love driven pursue…

 

Blue is my favorite color ever since a child I’d choose

Young mesmerizing

Meeting I still knew of depression fight an oppression weighed heavily from among arrows burn can discern the enemy who accused -me and plenty others share; pleading from earth’s venue

Greeting I will do in Heaven quite an impression made steadily of unsung heroes who were in turn mending as abused -free from any tethers wear; needing rebirth’s rescue

 

Blue is for the hope I see in you…

Blue is for the life HE gives anew…

Blue is for the new in you HE will do…

Blue is for breakthrough and all that is true…

 

Mercy

When you’re ready, you will trust in GOD again… you have that choice, you own that decision only you can make, you have the will to empower trust in HIM whenever you want to practice it…

Trust is a heart and soul thing that grows after you set your mind to begin the endeavor again… You can learn to trust in HIM with moments (like your move to a new place) and choose to trust HIM for healing (like your lifelong journey through trauma/abuse to triumph/astounding) whenever you want… When you fall back to not trusting, from that low point and helpless perspective; you can once again look up in trust to your Heavenly FATHER who gives good gifts and wants to love and care for you… You may choose to trust in moments or a daily decision through prayer (prayer is turning to HIM in trust) and pouring out your heart (through talking to HIM out loud, quietly inside, or writing it out)…

You’re loved and cared for not matter what… You’ll get to know/relearn HIS love and care as you decide to trust when you choose to… I am proud of you when you choose to reach out to those weak in need of love and care… In your weakness, JESUS is strong… Being there for them in being who you are matters and is doing good despite what you may feel or think about yourself… You are showing faith in action; doing GOD’s will in doing HIS Word:

Psalm 41
1 Blessed are those who have regard for the weak;
the Lord delivers them in times of trouble.
2 The Lord protects and preserves them—
they are counted among the blessed in the land—
he does not give them over to the desire of their foes.
3 The Lord sustains them on their sickbed
and restores them from their bed of illness.

verse 1 “regard for the weak”; for me the orphans, for you may be anyone weak you reach out to (orphans, special needs children/adults, homeless, abused and neglected souls, widows/widowers, or elderly)

Focus on these Words above and let it become one of your life verses/life mantra…

These verses helped me hang on, believe and trust, and reach out and one day HE answered these promises in my own life… These awesome Words came true through HIM and through me, for me, and in me… I still cannot fathom the turn-around in my life because of JESUS the Living and active Word bringing this about and GOD the FATHER’s mercy and compassion for me…

Look carefully and choose to believe and trust for these to be your benefits as well:

1) delivers them in times of trouble
2) protects and preserves them / does not give them over to the desire of their foes (who want to steal, kill, or destroy; suicide)
3) restores them from their bed of illness (physically or emotionally or mentally or socially or spiritually; for me all 5)

If HE did it for me; I know HE will do it for you… Why? because HE is true to HIS Word and desires to be faithful in a person’s life
When? in HIS timing; so difficult to wait I know (took years for me) maybe for you quicker than my experience
How? in small and grand ways along the journey; sometimes miraculously
Who? you (for you do have regard for the weak)
Where? inside you

I know I went through what I went through to be a help/support to others weaker… This is ultimately the outcome from what I didn’t think was fair, what I didn’t understand, why I was abandoned, why I was often alone in my trauma and not knowing why GOD wasn’t there bringing me through like I knew HE could; why it wasn’t right a way – yet waited for me to learn mercy and compassion at the core of who I am now… HE took me through the depths of darkness to reach out to anybody now with profound faith, hope, and love… with confidence in HIM and who HE is and what I now know HE can/will do…

Much of my trauma was self-inflicted (so full of guilt and shame) from turning away from GOD in rebellious youthful sin and desires being as lost as one can be. Yet I turned to HIM and HE still answered me… me? why me? why HE didn’t abandon me further? why did HE not leave me in my sin? HIS love is greater than anyone can know or fathom… Now I live to show HIS love I know and continue to attempt to fathom… If I didn’t learn through painful depths to know HIS love, mercy, and compassion; then how would I know HIM as HE is and learn that I could reach those who may be in need… HE will choose and use the weak and unlearned to profound the strong and wise… There is so much darkness and cruelty in this world. HE takes some of us through trauma and darkness so we can be a light that shines in it as HE rescues precious children, men, and women that need HIM… sometimes to reveal what HIS love is through us… We choose to pray for and be there present and intercede for them because we know… we understand… we will stand for them… we will choose to love… we will choose purity… we will love purely… Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see GOD (Matthew 5:8)…

You’re not a failure… You’re more than a conqueror through HIM who gives you strength… When you are weak come to HIM for rest… When you can’t do it anymore, wait on HIM for renewed strength… HE is faithful to HIS Word even when we are not…

Oh and let’s look at Psalm 41 vs. 4

I said, “Have mercy on me, Lord;
heal me, for I have sinned against you.”

What if we have sinned in some way!! Well I asked the LORD for mercy and to heal me of course… And so, HE healed me… me… and you?… you too!!!…

Ok! So you just got the wave from HIS ocean that was building within me to reach the shore of those needing mercy that will also be a blog post for my website that I have been wanting to write on Psalm 41 for a long, long while… I wrote this for you for sure; yet it is also for anyone else needing encouragement as well…

Feelings Fade to Who Remains

Feelings can only pick you up so much

Feelings that belittle can bring you down

Feelings come and go like coughs and hiccups

Feelings run amok or ebb and flow with undercurrent to drown

Feelings may overthrow until all you are is stuck

Feelings you only know will linger near or far to smile or to frown

Feelings will too soon betray, empty, and never fill your cup

Feelings will fight deep within leaving you wounded on the battleground

 

How will you show resistance to the enemy bent on killing and stealing

How will you get your deep need within for healing

How will you find an ever present help and a strong refuge never leaving from all that harms concealing

How will you be lifted from the pit of darkness that will grip you back into Light revealing

How will you grow in trust without ever kneeling

How will you go on in hope when your whole being is reeling

How will you overflow in faith to cope without the Holy Spirit sealing

How will you sow in love as 3 chord strand of rope appealing

 

JESUS is the only One who upon this Rock will pick you up

JESUS will lift your countenance bringing Heaven down

JESUS is a constant Refuge who never leaves nor forsakes when in a rut

JESUS runs to catch you amongst the waves so as not to fully drown

JESUS lifts you up from the mud and mire or deep pit with HIS mighty righteous right hand no longer to be stuck

JESUS knows you better than yourself so delight in HIM that joy may abound

JESUS, when you continually come to HIM, will eventually refill your cups

JESUS will give you HIS residing peace healing your wounds to run again in the race until in HIS arms you’re found

 

 

You’re Beautiful; Where the Hurt and the Healer Collide

A Need you have

You need a Savior

Favor of mercy and forgiveness

dizziness of the world

swirled around spinning too fast

cast your cares and anxieties upon HIM

dim are the fame lights sought compared to the Light of Life

strife fought in your heart, soul, and mind

entwined and caught up in what hurts:  alcohol, drugs, lust, depression, abuse, suicidal ideation, mental illness

stillness is wrought, call on HIM, JESUS Christ, the Name above every name

same yesterday, today, and forever -a Love to take away your pain

slain on the cross taking your sin and shame by HIS blood outpoured removing every stain

blame you feel even from what others did or do, in childhood when first ensued -now pursue

New life, new start, new day awaits that HE recreates

Fates no longer left to chance for HE promises a hope and future

Nurture to restore your soul, renew your mind, revive your heart, replenish your spirit

lit within with the Light of Love that never ends and never severs

Forevers a step away even if stumbling and a word aptly spoken brings hope even if broken

awoken from a nightmare who will keep you from falling headlong and not turn you away to shun

run into HIS open arms who protects and heals from all that harms you inside

Inside set free and if the SON sets you free you’ll be free indeed

Deed of who you are written in the Book of Life and in HIS scarred palm

Calm of your storm when you call on HIS Name and believe in your heart GOD raised HIM from the dead

Led to the Savior to taste and see HIS goodness delighting in HIM will soon receive the desires of your heart

Impart what you’ve always wanted, more is needed, to fulfill the deep calls to deep, the deeper for the Keeper of your soul, the deepest for knowing whose the Key to the best kept secret

Let ME in as I AM knocks on your heart’s door

Yours to own love found in HIM; all that is yours is HIS and all that’s HIS is yours

Adore HIM who becomes your everything All in all

Suicide; Noooooooo!!…

 

How do I start to express what is in my heart?  The gravity of certain situations pull on my soul that compels me to plead with God to bring HIS healing touch and to show up in a way they will know they are loved and can find hope, faith, and the love they need to continue to live, to fight, and to expect better for their future.  It’s their right to survive and go beyond to thrive…  Stay alive!  why? because I said so and more than that to know JESUS who will show you greater love…  Stay alive!!  why?  because I know there is a hope and future waiting…  Stay alive!!!…  God loves you, is there present with you even when you don’t see or feel HIM, will help you overcome and fight your battles for you, will never leave nor forsake you, prove you’re not alone, and bring you out of dark into Light…

 

 

How do I express I love you to all that I reach out to?  I say “I love you” and mean it which resides deep within from HIS love for me and how HE’s helped me through the darkness that I want you so desperately to know for yourself.  In my heart and mind, they are not weak words, but a great compassion that I’ve been given to which I don’t want to hold back, hide away, nor pretend isn’t there.  I love-love those who have been abused for this love grew within me when God granted me the experiences to work and serve with children and youth in an emergency shelter for over 2 years who were sexually abused, the worse kind of abuse a child can go through.  I lived with them in the home for 4 days of each week helping them through their episodes, their fears at night, their nightmares, and their trust issues.  I was there to greet them in the morning, make them meals, take them to school, help them with homework, take them to special outings, encourage and support them.  This was life changing for me to learn how to love these precious children.  Any of you who have been abused, I have a special love for you and always will…  I have a special love and bond with those I served with who taught me how to love and care in a deeper way, have faith to believe in God to heal, take away nightmares, and bring hope into their hearts and souls and make a way for a brighter future.  At that time, I was learning to be a father figure to those who were not biologically mine.  I have that willingness to adopt anyone needing a loving father to love, care, support, and encourage them in their life who may not have those things evidenced or experiencing now in their life.  Do you need a loving dad?  I will be that for you.  Why?  God has given me a heart for orphans and those abused for this is HIS heart He’s shared with me and put in me to have.  God has given me a heart for those who have mental illness and depression for I too have experienced these struggles and setbacks along the way.  I love you…  God loves you…  I believe the greater your hurt and pain, the greater your compassion to help others will be…  I believe the greater abuse you have experienced, the greater capacity you have to depend on, trust in, and love God more than others ever will…  I believe that you have a hope and a future HE will show you, lead you in, and give to you…

I’m holding on to you… through prayer, through faith, through belief, through the typing of words I hope you know are true…  Will you hold on too!!…  God HIMSELF is holding on to you with HIS mighty right hand lifting you up out of the pit from being stuck and will place you on the Rock of Salvation to stand firm in faith, in belief, in hope, in undying love…  Reach for HIS hand who is trustworthy and faithful to keep you, love you, accept you, heal you, rescue you, and redeem you…  HE will answer you if you ask for help continually…  HE will find you if you seek HIM for HIS help crying out continually…  HE will answer you if you keep knocking on the door and open your heart to HIM continually…  Don’t stop, Don’t give up, Don’t end your precious life…

Change your perspective to that of being or for the first time becoming HIS daughter or son and begin to:

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Let your life find the freedom you are yearning for and desire to have by continuing to live on…  There is great reward on the other side of the pain, hurt, sadness, illness;…

I am not ashamed to say “I love you” to those in need of it the most…  You are who I am called and chosen to love…

When you feel yourself so far away, call out to HIM…

 

 

If you need help, get help.  You can also call me if you want and I’ll be there for you and listen.  806-781-0810

If you feel lost, afraid, broken, unable to fight, HE is there for you to hold you and carry you…

 

 

Always praying…  Always believing…  Always waiting…  Always protecting…  Always trusting… Always hoping… Always persevering… Always loving… for you…  even when you feel you can’t…

Try again with JESUS by your side forevermore…

 

Sound

Whispers atop the waters won’t stop coming to my ears

Carried across waves surging urging prayer, toss into strumming my heart to hear

Cries riding the four winds out of hiding are deafening, not lessening

Whys collides with Your promises and realities confide to intercede with their pleas for Your help and hope to receive through what’s pressing

Shouts echo nights skies of my fellow brothers and sisters bellows deep within to high above to me below

Stars silence twinkling sounds their tears revealing darknesses abuses that surround life alive dwindling, remembering those imprisoned, uplift to FATHER GOD for love’s rekindling to know and grow freed when let go from those evil who harm HE will overthrow

Unto Weak Prove Strong

An endless sea

Of human frailty

Suicidal thoughts bury

remotely mostly uncontrolled

Seek a remedy

Avoid a tragedy

Gain new identity

Make memories longevity

to be bold

Soul of beauty

Save, HIS duty

into the sheepfold

Faith walk agree

Hope sets free

Love gives infinitely

inward mold

Wraith grant reprieve

Rope 3-chords interweave

Above, gifts receive

to tightly hold, toward becoming old

Live despite agony

Forgive though guilty

Sieve out malady

out of death paroled

Keep spirit reality

Weep, clear esprit

Steep, near apogee

Deep, stuck fallacy

Leap over negativity

Reap mercy eternally

Heap upward-climb gracefully

doing so for promises foretold

Wait and see

Relate with me

Elate to be

Believe though wary

Perceive light glary

Leave dark adversary

Heave what’s scary

Grieve, onward carry

Retrieve your sanctuary

Conceive future visionary

time one day and forever to behold

No end see

Human fighting relentlessly

Healing occurring continuously

worthwhile endeavor worth more than gold

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

suicide

If you need emergency help:

Get help now…  Call…

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

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http://www.suicide.org/suicide-hotlines.html

For International Countries:

http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

 

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No material or images may be copied from Suicide.org without expressed written consent.

Disclaimer and Terms of Use: Suicide.org is provided for informational and educational purposes only; is not intended to diagnose or treat suicidal individual; and is not intended to constitute medical advice. While care has been taken in the preparation of the information contained on Suicide.org, all information is provided on an “as is” basis without any representation, warranty or condition, whether express or implied, statutory or otherwise, as to: quality; accuracy; completeness; legality; reliability; efficacy; or fitness for any particular purpose. Anyone using this information does so at his or her own risk, and by using such information agrees to indemnify Suicide.org and its content providers from any and all liability, loss, injury, damages, costs and expenses (including legal fees and expenses) arising from such person’s use of the information and resources on this website. Anyone who is suicidal should call 911 now and receive help from trained mental heath professionals.

International Suicide Prevention Call Lines

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Click Here if You are Suicidal Help Save Lives! Please Click Below: Donate Search Suicide.org HOME What’s New at Suicide.org Suicide Articles Suicide.org Websites Suicide Warning Signs Suicide Causes Suicide FAQs Depression & Suicide Bipolar Disorder & Suicide Schizophrenia & Suicide PTSD & Suicide Postpartum Depression & Suicide Domestic Violence & Suicide Rape & Suicide Divorce & Suicide Suicide Myths Stigma & Suicide Suicide Statistics Teen Suicide & Youth Suicide Bullying & Suicide College Student Suicide School Suicide Prevention Program Elderly Suicide Racism & Suicide Gay & Lesbian Suicide How to Help a Suicidal Person How to Talk to Suicidal Callers Suicide Survivors Wall of Angels Suicide Memorials Suicide Hotlines E-mail Support Media Guidelines for Suicide Reporting Suicide Books Links Suicide.org MySpace About Suicide.org Team Suicide.org Contact Suicide.org  Link to Suicide.org

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No material or images may be copied from Suicide.org without expressed written consent.

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Know God’s Heart pt. 1

 

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.  John 3:16

We find out here that God loves the world…  That means you are included.

God gave His Son…  That means you can receive JESUS as His most precious and personal gift to you.

whoever believes in Him…  That means you can believe no matter your situation, failure, mental illness, abuse, suicidal thoughts, hurt, loss, pain.

shall not perish…  That means you don’t need to commit suicide, fear death (even though there are times you still fear death), worry about the unknown (even though you may worry often), think you’ll be left alone on your own to suffer without hope, fear separation from a loving God since you will be guaranteed to not ever go to that awful and terrifying place called hell

have eternal life…  That means you get to have a special destination that is set and secure, after this life on earth, to go to; forever living without fear, anxiety, pain, sickness, depression, suicidal thoughts, mental illness in Heaven… ongoing peace, protection, provision… never ending peace, joy, love…

Go to GOD’s Heart part 2:

https://suicidenotmyheart.wordpress.com/2017/07/27/know-gods-heart-pt-2/