Archive for the ‘Trust’ Category

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Faith will find a way

Find a way to hold on

Walk In the race until agree to run

Tend to while fighting the good fight

 

Hope will find a way

Find a way to carry on

To taste and see what HE has won

Send igniting into the night within the Light

 

Love will find a way

Find a way to overcome

To embrace and receive the SON

When delighting desires become set aright

 

Grace will find a way

Find a way to soar above

Through every storm have sufficiency enough

Lend Mighty Right Hand uplift for HIS vision in sight

 

Mercy will find a way

Find a way through push and shove

Cover over, found beneath, until arise a diamond in the rough

Defend as High Priest if broken and contrite

 

Compassion will find a way

Find a way to lift others up

Fill to overflowing my empty cup

Again and again give what’s needed beyond the fright of any plight

 

Faith will find the truth

Find the truth that sets free

Set free in the SON indeed

Abide in HIM to grow

 

Hope will find the truth

Find the truth to hold and keep

Debts paid move forward always believe

Guide into the Light reflect to show

 

Love will find the truth

Find the truth to just be 

Let it enter in daily to receive

Subside the fears, until cast aside, for love to forever know

 

Grace will find the truth

Find the truth to speak

Fret not to take a stand against the enemy

Decide to be in HIS will with seed for the sower to sow

 

Mercy will find the truth

Find the truth to grieve

Get back up no longer deceived

Hide under shelter of HIS wings until an arrow in HIS bow

 

Compassion will find the truth

Find the truth for others reach

Forget not where you came from with their pain conceive

Arrive on the scene to resuscitate no matter the injury or how far they’ve fallen below

 

Faith will find the life

Find the life few will find, even so, choose to breathe

Leapt to discover what only HE can do with me

Tried as gold refined by fire seven times aglow

 

Hope will find the life

Find the life with desires come to fruition when unto HIM heed

Secrets of HIS Heavenly wisdom enter in to succeed

Ride on the heights to newly dream to where HE leads go

 

Love will find the life

Find the life to do the same sincerely

Kept in HIS grips equipped meek and holy

Wide, long, high, and deep is this love of Christ that overflows

 

Grace will find the life

Extending to reach any in need with HIS wings beneath

Regrets left behind press on for Heavenward’s prize to seek

Died to sin made alive in Christ to walk the straight and narrow

 

Mercy will find the life

Find the life I don’t deserve because HE heard my pleas

Outlet for others to come to know HIM from their chains be released

Beside HIM open to be who I’m meant to be pure as white snow

 

Compassion will find the life

Find the life to become compassion perceived to those in need

Interprets what to pray and then stretch out hand for healing to relieve

Confide in HIM here and now into eternity ever ready to understand however many tomorrows bestow

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Alone

I know.

Alone, I know.

I know alone.

I know Alone, alone.

Alone, I won’t forget.

Forget not alone.

Forget not Alone, alone.

Alone is what I felt.

Alone is what I thought.

Alone is what I believed.

Alone is what I received.

Alone is what I perceived.

Alone is what I conceived.

There is alone.

Then there is Alone, alone.

I know Alone, and realized I wasn’t the only one who knew alone.

Many are alone who know Alone or have come to know Alone.

Realizing you’re not the only one who knows Alone is somehow comforting when you’re alone.

I am not alone anymore, yet I find a friend with those who know Alone for Alone once was so close to me I didn’t know otherwise.

If you know Alone and need a friend, I accept you as one of my friends…  You’re no longer alone…  I will believe you…  I will believe in you…  I will receive you…  I will perceive how Alone has made you, changed you, hurt you, scared you…  I will conceive how Alone makes your worldview, your inner view, your suicidal view…

I am made somewhat of Alone, changed somehow by Alone, hurt deeply by Alone, and feared once with Alone…  However, I am not Alone…  I never was…  But I was in utmost darkness alone.  Alone tried to take me under and almost succeeded;

Alone came alongside me while I was alone and joined me with it… until all I felt was what Alone felt, what Alone thought, what Alone only knew…  I learned Alone’s secrets…  Alone was only bringing me down to the lowest it only feels, it only thinks, it only knows… Spiraling down into darkness more and more and more…  Alone feels darkness, thinks darkness, knows darkness to depths you never knew before…  Alone reveals darkness beyond all darkness… Hope is lost with Alone…  Hope disappears when alone with Alone…  Hope is beyond one’s reach when Alone takes you under unwillingly… Alone makes its home in you… until you can’t stand Alone being anymore alone…  Alone can make you lose your mind, lose your heart, lose your soul, lose your spirit, and alone with Alone can cause you to lose your life…

Alone doesn’t realize Faith comes to life in darkness…  And I knew of Faith…  I didn’t know Faith, like really know, yet it called for me to take a chance on, to take a hold of, to realize Faith was the only way to get out of this deep dark pit – ravaged, bombarded, pounded, emptied, fear laden with and by Alone… tormenting me alone from Alone…  Something had to give…

Have Faith or die alone… overtaken by Alone.

Faith began to build me up as a real possibility…  Faith started to turn my heart, soul, mind, and spirit to the Author of my Faith… the Healer and Restorer of my heart…. the Savior and Defender of my soul… the Perfecter and Renewer of my mind… the Redeemer and Uplifter of my spirit…

Faith reunited me with Hope…  Faith made me realize Hope was not lost…  Hope had not disappeared…  Hope was surely within reach again…

Faith and Hope can sometimes be overshadowed by Alone, but can never be wiped out by Alone…  Alone tries to hide this reality…  Faith and Hope are of the LIGHT that Alone in the darkness hates to be seen…  Alone will mask it with others rejections of, turn those alone inward into their own darkness, or turn those alone around to not see even glimpses of Faith and Hope at one’s disposal that are found when called upon to operate and begin to shine brighter providing the way out of any darkened pit…

Faith and Hope together introduced me to LOVE…

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails…

LOVE never fails, but I didn’t know that yet… LOVE keeps Faith and Hope together within and encompassed around me…  LOVE works from the depths of itself, the depths of Faith, and the depths of Hope to be forever united as One in me…  Alone couldn’t fully have me anymore…  After being introduced to Faith, Hope, and LOVE in the deepest of despair and despondency – I was forever found in new life…  changed with the appearance by the 3 that will always remain:  Faith, Hope, and LOVE…  and Alone may be in reach at any given time, yet I am always taken hold of by Faith, Hope, and LOVE…

I know LOVE so much more now that I believe, receive, perceive, conceive and am relieved by HIM that nothing can chase me away to the darkness alone with just Alone…  Yes, I may face being with Alone again, but I will always have Faith, Hope, and LOVE to accompany me from this time forth into forevermore…

So if you get to know me, you won’t be alone with Alone only…  I bring with me Faith, Hope, and LOVE so you get to know them too!!…  And I know that I know you’ll soon, at some point, embrace these 3 that will always remain for you as well…  Faith, Hope, and LOVE like to meet and greet, defeat darkness, release from fears, and bring you up from beneath the heavy weight of the world, sin, and brokenness you feel…  May you, like me, be established, rooted, and grounded in HIS LOVE for Faith, Hope, and LOVE to remain in you for all eternity…

What if you resist when Faith, Hope, and LOVE want to make an appearance to let you know Alone isn’t all there is to this life… Alone will remain with you alone…  That to me is not acceptable.  That to me is unthinkable.  That to me is unfathomable…  Being alone with Alone is not a way to live your life.

Having Faith, Hope, and LOVE always, with Alone sometimes, is much more foreseeable, doable, reachable, and conquerable…  Faith, Hope, and LOVE promise to get you who you’ve always desired to be, what you’ve always cared to be about, and beyond where you’ve ever dreamed of going if you’ll only welcome the 3 that will remain within given by JESUS Himself when you ask HIM in to hear you, help you, heal you, and honor HIS promises for you…  promises you can’t keep on your own, or make happen on your own, or even desire to have on your own.  JESUS will be to you who HE is and so much more… beyond what you can think, ask, or imagine…  So these 3 remain…  Faith, Hope, and LOVE…  And the greatest of these is LOVE…

What is so incredible is that asking JESUS to forgive you and to come into your heart is that with Faith, Hope, and LOVE you’ll know Forgiveness (GOD’s forgiveness;  empowered to forgive yourself and others even), Grace (ability to handle life’s stresses better), Mercy (received as needed when you mess up along your healing journey), and Compassion (ability to care about and be there for others in need).  GOD will also give you as a deposit (a guarantee of your inheritance to be received into Heaven) the HOLY Spirit as a gift to be your wonderful counselor never leaving you on your own to deal with life anymore on your own.  You will begin to grow with the fruit of the Spirit to know as well:  Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-control…

With all these new “friends” inside you growing you and building you up, you’ll have more and more peace of mind, peace in your heart, restful peace for your soul, peace in your spirit, and peace that surpasses all understanding in your life…

JESUS, furthermore, promises HE will never leave you nor forsake you…  JESUS says no one can snatch you out of HIS hand and no one can snatch you out of GOD the FATHER’s hand…  This is all just a glimpse of HIS innumerable promises HE can keep and hold out just for you to take a hold of into your new found life…  Like me, you won’t be alone anymore with Alone…

Here’s a recap:

I am no longer alone… Now that I’m found in JESUS…

You don’t have to be either…

I still know Alone, but not apart from JESUS and all HIS “friends” working deeper within me…

Could you use some new companions along your journey?!…

GOD the FATHER in and through HIS SON JESUS gives them freely if you listen to and accept JESUS as Savior and LORD in your life…  What you’ll gain with surrender is by far the greatest treasure you will ever find in a lifetime…

JESUS never leaves nor forsakes you…

Holy Spirit is a deposit guaranteeing your residence will be Heaven…

You will grow in the fruits of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-control…

Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

LOVE never fails…

Faith, Hope, and LOVE remain…

And the greatest of these is LOVE…

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Sneak peek critique interpret

Peak interest in HIS Mystique infinity;  accept accrue identity

Friends of faith (pre-requisite) didn’t give up and quit

Pleas rise from your infirmity

Let down as a paralytic

HE speaks inside the Word spoken a remedy

Your sins HE forgives quick

Release -pick up your mat and walk in HIS affinity

 

Sneak peek critique desperate

Peak interest in HIS Mystique willingly;  accept true identity

You’re your own worst critic

Knees bend broken and contrite what pleases HIM to see

Agree to receive your get out of jail free ticket

East to West free from Your sins cast beneath to bottom of the sea

HE breaks your chains to forgive to forget it 

Lease new life as tears fall in salinity

HE stands at the door to unlock it

Keys for a hope and a future in eternity 

Not just the present of whats left in your pocket

Flees the fear within into HIS perfect love intimately

 

Sneak peek critique interpret

Peak interest in HIS Mystique imminently;  accept new identity

Are you HIS own worst cynic

Esteem HIM not unclearly, may be afraid and weary, maybe blame and leery, may be contrary and angry merely

Don’t believe, understand, or agree because of all the hypocrites

Deed to your life won’t you give over to your deepest need for a Savior who bleeds love sincerely

Faith sought as HE dies for you on a cross like a criminal mimic, yet innocent grit and bear it to remit

Lead to the tomb after buried 3 days became empty

Hope caught up for HE is victorious over death arise to win it

Heed HIS voice to come follow the Way, the Truth, and the Life in synchronicity

Love brought about when HE gave HIS very life in pursuit of your mind, heart, soul, and spirit

Believe in HIS Name, conceive that your soul is HIS treasure, perceive that HE paid the price for it if you just receive

HE weaves faith, hope, and love to rescue, restore, and redeem every second and every minute

Renew with your mind to know HIS will complete

See with your heart to delight in HIM for desires to be relit

Breathe with your soul to dream a new dream

Soar by HIS Spirit (a deposit within for Heaven guarantee) with vision and purpose pure and legit

See with and walk by faith in the Trinity

True Identity

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Spiritual in the Center

 

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I admit I lost my way

A long time before

I walked away

There was nothing more

A youth to the world did sway

Nothing more to live for

My whole life bent toward decay

Within alone losing a war

Without HIM falling astray

With all of me closing doors

Saying my goodbye that day

No longer a prayer towards

Downward spiral hides sun’s rays

Carried by waves far from shore

Darkness overtakes where demons play

Losing hold of reality to ignore

Thoughts in mind collide into a daze

No longer eating much in store

Thoughts in mind attack into a haze

Depression has reached the core

Mental illness enters a new phase

Suicidal encompasses every pore

No longer can make it out of the maze

A call for help is made too late implore

Dark night of the soul crippling tase

Leave to attempt suicide ending the uproar

A compromised life with past of guilt and shame in fear at did gaze

 

I recommit to find HIS way

Even though worse off than before

I cry out from far away

There in the distance I want HIM more

A youth Heavenward don’t want to sway

Faith, wavering, believe more to live for

My whole life vent for HIM to save from decay

Within alone, only for HIM invite to fight my war

Without others to help, HE seeks this lost sheep astray

With all of me knocking for HIM to open my heart’s door

Reunion to come inside being there for me every day

Weaker, but stronger in prayer towards

Lifting me up from the pit to see again sun’s rays

Walks on water rescuing from drowning leading me to shore

Darkness is Light to HIM and the demons will flee from play

Winning HE holds my reality and doesn’t ignore

Renewing my mind to get out of a daze

Eating meals again to regain strength in store

Fight the good fight thinking on truth to see through the haze

Depression lifting for HE has reached into my core

With mental illness, HE is strong entering into redemptions phase

Desiring to live right anew with grace, mercy, and compassion releasing from every pore

Now stronger HE leads me into the land of the living out of the maze

A call on HIS name saves me and wasn’t too late for HIM when I’d implore

HE is ever ready and willing to enter the dark night of the soul healing from what did tase

Retrieved me after my attempt from suicide ending the uproar

A new life for a hope and a future free of guilt and shame without fear into HIS eyes will gaze

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I know the rise and fall

I know my demise and HIS call

Will I arise to follow with my all or wallow just to stall

Choose to be wise chosen or who I am defeats; hides unopened

 

I know standing at HIS commanding and in the pit landing amiss stranding

I know sinking expanding and faltering blinking for help demanding

Will I live or will I die

Choose to give or stay awry

 

I know to press on in forward humble motion and the stress from backward stumble demotion

I know to address the cause of Christ in devotion and to digress a pause of thrice commotion

Will I be one who will blaze a trail or be one who still strays to only fail

Choose to gaze at HIS eyes entail to prevail or stuck in a haze to then derail

 

I now know HE’s the only One who makes me rise to answer HIS call submitting to extend for others to do the same

I now know HE’s the only One who hears my cries to answer when I fall uplifting me to mend though I’m to blame

I now know I will follow the only One who saves souls as wise to answer by knitting within eternity for whoever calls on HIS Name

 

I now know HE’s the only One who makes me stand on the Rock of Salvation commanding contrite obey;  guiding 77 x 7 resurrection’s forgiven to HIM

I now know HE’s the only One who delivers from the pit with Mighty Right hand; secures chock concentration abandoning fright away; abiding to listen with detections mission closer to HIM

I now know HE’s the only One who is the reason I will live with open hand; give stock elation notwithstanding any plight dismay; igniting faith, hope, and love given anew and unto HIM

 

I now know HE’s the only One who moves me by HIS Spirit firsthand to take stock with HIS rations banding together to fight the good fight each day; inciting justice to lend course corrections driven by truth in love through HIM

I now know HE’s the only One who has a Master’s plan for HIS flock since creation longstanding, despite shame denying detections I even knew HIM

I now know HE’s the only One who makes a way in the desert sand; knock to open hydration streams in the wasteland bring sight always providing reflections into HIM

 

Arise Again and Again and Again and Again and Again and Again and Again

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But everything exposed by the light becomes visible–and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. This is why it is said: “Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”  Ephesians 5:13-14

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Do you capitalize the seasons?

Autumn leaves meant to fall

Discarded wind blew

Hovering until 

Let go

Faith found all around

As a tree stand your ground

Even when left bare

In humility towers

Awaiting renewed strength

Above it all

Hold on 

Endure

Persevere

Through the tears

 

Winter snow subsequent fall

Departed sin residue

Covering still

Let know

Forgiveness found surround

As a landscape pure white resound

Even then mercy aware

In lonely hours

Awaiting renewed life

Above it all

Hold on 

Endure

Persevere

Through the fears

 

Spring flowers scent recall

Started open anew

Recovering will

Let grow

Hope found to astound

As a kaleidoscope of color profound

Even been grace to share

In rain showers

Awaiting renewed healing

Above it all

Hold on 

Endure

Persevere

As HE steers

 

Summer sun sent recall

Whole-hearted chosen true

Uncovering instill

Let show

Love found to abound

As a mature response renowned

Even send compassion to care

In warmth empowers

Awaiting renewed purpose and vision

Above it all 

Hold on

Endure

Persevere

Until HE appears

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Before having insurance and beginning my career in the teaching profession, I was playing basketball and tore my ACL.  I was on crutches for awhile.  When I got my first teaching job and a coaching position, I limped with pain.  I continued to pray during the school year for GOD to heal me. What else was there to do anyway? I didn’t give up hope.  I was in pain for quite awhile with no relief in sight.  After 7 months, GOD finally answered and took my pain away.  I was able to walk with free unhindered motion again.  There were times my knee would hurt and I’d remember GOD’s mercy and thank HIM for it.  HE then healed it again and I felt no pain.  This has been a running theme in my life with this wound in my knee.  When it hurts, I thank GOD for HIS mercy and then HE takes away my pain.  Several years ago, I thought of getting surgery on my knee to finally get it fixed.  After getting the MRI done on it, the doctor showed my old ACL injury.  Then he showed me I had a new injury on top of it.  You see, I played basketball again being careful with jumping because I learned that my bad cholesterol was high and I needed to exercise again.  So my thoughts were it’s either my knee or my heart that I prioritize.  I chose to strengthen my heart.  I began exercising at a gym and playing basketball again.  The new injury is a bucket holder meniscus tear along with my ACL tear.  The cost of surgery was very high and I opted for not getting it.  My family’s needs came first and foremost.  I haven’t gotten the surgery to this day and walk around with two wounds in my knee that may never get fixed here on earth.  Ever so often, the pain returns and I thank GOD for HIS mercy in my life and the pain once again dissipates even though the wounds are still present.

My wife has had two strokes in the last year.  The numbness to parts of her body have gone away.  She can still talk.  Sometimes the words don’t come as fluently and finding the right word may be difficult.  She gets headaches in parts of her brain that were affected by the strokes.  She is depressed.  She is depressed because she cannot do as much as she once did, think like she once did, be a part of working and supporting the family more, and being hopeful for a better day is challenged.  Thoughts of what if I do not get well again?  CT scans, MRI, EKG, other heart tests, and blood tests have all come back normal.  However, she doesn’t feel normal.  This has been difficult for her to cope with.  Suicidal thoughts have been present off and on, but she will never commit suicide. To her it is not an option.  I am thankful that GOD provided a job for online teaching that I can do to support our family more so now that she is unable to work along with my teaching job I have in public school.  She has been wounded by unexpected health struggles now.  There may not be an explanation that we find out about for why?  Why did this happen?  What must she do to get back on her feet?  Will she regain abilities again one day?  We will continue to pray and trust GOD through this…  She’s wounded and there may not be complete healing.  At least for now.  In the future?  I hope so, I really do!!  In Heaven, yes!!!…

Last Sunday while I was teaching online at night, I heard my dog barking emphatically.  I kept on teaching for this was my job to do.  When I got a break, I went to tell my two oldest kids to check on him.  I knew something wasn’t right.  I had to get back to teaching.  My kids didn’t go check on our dog.  When teaching was through, I went myself to check on him and he was bleeding at various parts of his left front leg.  We have a metal paneled fence and it has a 2 or 3 inch gap at the bottom.  My initial evaluation was that he got his leg caught in the fence and there were two places with jagged edges and that is why he had multiple cuts.  My wife and daughter took him to an emergency vet center an hour away.  The Vet said that there were definite puncture wounds from another dog.  As I rethought what happened, I believe another dog was able to grab a hold onto his leg with its teeth and pulled his leg under the fence biting and yanking on it.  His leg rubbed up against the metal fence panel’s bottom edge as well as the two places that had jagged points.  The Vet had to amputate one of his toes, because of the trauma done to it.  He was put on antibiotics and pain meds.  A cone was placed around his neck to keep him from bothering the sutures put in to close the wounds and allow for quicker healing to take place.  Well, the cone wasn’t long enough for him not to lick his wound where the toe was amputated.  I called the E.R. vet clinic today to ask about him licking this wound where it is still raw.  They told me that, he needed another cone to wear so he doesn’t keep licking it or it won’t heal.  I took him an hour away to get a new cone for him and to see if anything else needs to be done.  The vet came to tell me that she would prescribe a stronger antibiotic and that she would not be able to close the wound due to there not being enough skin to put sutures in to cover it.  She said the wound will have to heal on its own.  She told me to run water on it like hydrotherapy for 10 minutes and put an ointment on it once a day.  He was so dependent on me this week to show him love and comfort.  He was definitely traumatized and needed the attention and care.  He was not happy tonight with the cool water running over the wound.  He looked at me differently than the previous times of feeding him and letting him drink holding the bowl up to him for easier access with the cone around his head hampering him a bit.  He hates the cold for he is short haired and the cold water made him shiver.  It’s winter and he doesn’t like being outside.  He was coming in at night to stay in the kennel every night before all this and now he stays inside most of the day too in order to rest and recover.  Hopefully the wound heals on its own and he will walk easier again even without one of his toes.

Sometimes we experience wounds that do not fully heal here on earth.  Some wounds may take a long time for healing to occur and we have to wait…  Some wounds have to heal on its own and there will be a loss involved that needs to be grieved.  We will enter Heaven with scars for sure and only be completely healed there…  Even so, I will keep praying for more healing now and all my days that I live…  Keep fighting and overcoming even when life isn’t fair and things aren’t going the way you expected…

If you’ve been wounded in any way, trust the LORD for your healing HE will give here or in Heaven…  Life is a battle so let HIM help you if you’re a wounded soldier (emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually)…

 

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A new day dawns

A previous year gone

A new year begun

A studious you -will run

A new song sung

An obedience to YOU clung

A new heart and spirit in the SON

A serious vision with more freedom among

A new path to walk along

A mysterious way to belong

 

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How are you?  Really!?…  I pray for you…  I’m here for you!!… Sincerely…

How am I thought of?  I wonder.  How am I seen?  Maybe real and genuine.  Maybe off base and peculiar.  How do I come across?  Maybe human and down to earth.  Maybe human and troubled.  Maybe human with a spiritual connection to GOD and Heaven…  Probably a little of each component that makes up my whole being with much left unexplored and unknown…

My preferred way of communication is poetry.  If you have any familiarity with my site, it is engulfed by poems.  Some are simple and to the point and you understand where I’m coming from.  Some are complicated and confusing and you don’t understand what I’m talking about.

The simple and to the point come from a heightened awareness of GOD, HIS love, and times of peaceful recollection, remembrance, and restoration of HIS work in my life…  A tranquil day in the sun…  The complicated and confusing come from a darkened depression turned to mental illness in processing the lonely, anxiety ridden, and fearfully prolonged moments of a life trying to manage everything after being suicidal and making an actual attempt. A chaotic storm in the middle of the darkest night.

Maybe I need to write more like this; acquainting with you in paragraph form, thought by thought sequence, conversation style, letting you in more so to know some of my soul, to know me as a fellow human living this life to overcome and be a fighter still pressing on no matter what comes my way; facing it head on with courage and strength -even though I’m weak…

I have tried to convey faith, hope, and love in writing on this here blog to inspire, encourage, and support those struggling with depression, mental illness, abuse, and/or suicidal thoughts…  Has it made a difference for anyone?  I don’t really know.  I hope so…  not for my benefit, but for theirs and for yours…

My faith is in JESUS who is my Savior, my Redeemer, my KING of kings and LORD of lords…  My hope is in GOD the FATHER for grace and mercy in times of need…  My love works in and through me by HIS Spirit…  My faith is that you find faith in HIM too…  My hope is that you will hope in HIM too…  My love for and from HIM is for you to find HIS love too…  Faith, hope, and love remain…  And most prominently love is greater than all… And most assuredly love never fails…  HIS lovingkindness endures forever…  HIS mercy endures forever…

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.  Luke 6:45

Why do I talk so much about JESUS and spiritual things?  After what HE’s miraculously done with my fallen and broken life, how can I not speak of HIM who overflows my heart and sustains my life…  My life has been radically changed by GOD’s love for me and has made an eternally positive difference all because of JESUS…  So I include HIM in all that I say in some way… Maybe there are those who are turned off by this.  I don’t know.  Maybe there are those who haven’t experienced HIS love and care as of now up to this point, thus being foreign to them and unknown. Maybe there are those who feel let down or abandoned by GOD and blame HIM for all that is wrong in their life.  Maybe there are those who just don’t know what to think or feel about all this.  Is GOD real?  If HE is, will HE help me?  Will HE be there for me?  Will HE see me through the darkness and hard things in this life?  Will HE not abandon me to myself and all that is within that consumes and drowns me?

All of the answers to these questions are “yes” in HIS timing and way…  Now will you only trust HIM and believe… If you do, your life will change and you will find new strength and purpose for a future and a hope… If you do, then you open yourself up to HIS help, to HIS forgiveness, to HIS love, and to HIS comfort and care…  Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us… Ephesians 3:20

GOD wants you to come to HIM, to know HIM, to make HIM known, and to love you and through you show love to others;  saved and found by JESUS… “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else. From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.  As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’  Acts 17:24-28

These truths you can believe, trust, and build your very life upon… Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen. 1 Timothy  1: 15-17

Are you ready to begin a new journey into freedom by HIS grace and mercy at work in your life?  HE will be redeeming your past, restoring your present, and replenishing you onward into the future and a hope HE has prepared since the beginning before you were even conceived in your mother’s womb and born to face the challenges and brokenness of life moving forward with faith to believe and trust, with hope as an anchor for your soul, and with love HE pours into you by HIS Spirit to now and forever love HIM and love others too…  Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  Matthew 22: 37-39

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34

Have you ever wanted someone to be your friend always and forever?  To be there in the most dark and difficult times?  To be there going through what you’re going through? To never have to be alone?  To bring you to a safe and secure place providing for all your needs?  JESUS meets that need and desire…  I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”  Deuteronomy 31:6

He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” —Hebrews 13:5

 

How are you?  Really!?  I pray for you…  I am here for you!!…  Sincerely…

Jeff Watts

Dreams birthed yesteryear

Still hold dear

Dreams may come true

Because they include You

Dreams keep future alive

May be why I survived

Dreams anew arrive

Guide inner drive

Dreams expand purpose

Vision seen of service

Dreams bigger reach out

Greater love teach about

Dreams beyond imagination

Go forward toward elation

Dreams forged in isolation

Deep within during tribulation

Dreams You will do

Use me in at least a few working through

Dreams of past to present to future connect

All because You take broken pieces to resurrect

Dreams according to Your will select

For those most in need You direct

Dreams of Salvation You will redeem

For anyone’s life who accepts Your dream

Dreams of turning lives around

Ask and you receive that you may abound

Dreams of rescue that will astound

Seek and by HIM you will be found

Dreams of relationship with GOD renown

JESUS knocks with gentle sound

Dreams you will open your heart’s door

Let HIM in and HIS love impart to adore

Dreams to follow HIM upon the waves at sea

Become the person you always wanted to be

Dreams to follow HIM ashore where He will restore

Become the person you always hoped for 

Dreams to follow HIM all the more

Become the person HE won’t ignore

Dreams to remember HIM on the cross 

You who HE came to die for no longer lost

Dreams do come true in JESUS

All you have to do is believe and trust

Dreams you did not know exist

HE gives what’s missed 

Dreams inspired by GOD persists

HE looks for vessels willing to enlist

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How can

An answer to YOUR call

Turn to pride before a fall

As confidence in YOU

Turns to breaking me in two

With strength and no fear

Turns to fear again so near

Full of the Spirit in sweet release

Turns to anxieties that increase

YOUR armor all around as a protective hedge

Turns to my life teetering on the edge

By faith moving forward

Turns to relapse stepping backward

In YOUR perfect love secure

Turns to depression stuck and insecure

 

How can

I return to answer YOUR call

Turn and submit to purposely fall

Face down yielding my life to YOU anew

Turn in brokenness to YOU be true

My strength (not my own) rests in YOU to bring breakthrough beyond the fear

Turn to acknowledge (not anything I’ve done) that YOU have brought me this far as I draw near

Refreshed in the Spirit freed from fear; returns (the surpassing all understanding) peace

Turn to give you thanks (Your compassion is beyond understanding) for a renewed life’s lease

Continue to put on YOUR armor as a protective privilege

Turn to surrender all my life to honor, glorify, and praise YOU my pledge

By faith in humility and understanding move forward

Turn to remember HIS grace in my walk and to love HIS mercy when feeling backward

In YOUR perfect love again secure

Turn to YOU daily, deny myself, and carry my cross to be pure

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Your Word bring life

Come alive

Never die

 

My dream of life open wide

Come alive

Never die

 

Your Salvation bring joy inside

Come alive

Never die

 

For family and friends to enjoy inside the Light

Come alive

Never die

 

Your Word to encourage when tried

Come alive

Never die

 

My dream pure and true confide

Come alive

Never die

 

Your Salvation to soul and spirit applied

Come alive

Never die

 

For family and friends to make it through lead and guide

Come alive

Never die

 

Your Word hidden within to abide

Come alive

Never die

 

My dream come to fruition as in You I delight

Come alive

Never die

 

Your Salvation is the mission envision while broken and contrite

Come alive

Never die

 

For family and friends prayed for to be forgiven and listen aright

Come alive

Never die

 

Your Word to bring wisdom and insight

Come alive

Never die

 

My dream to save souls as wise ignite

Come alive

Never die

 

Your Salvation to be brave and fight the good fight

Come alive

Never die

 

For family and friends to enter to live in Heaven by Your Spirit not by might

Come alive

Never die

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.  John 1: 1-5

I try to reach you; seek YOU

YOU teach me unique Truth

Truth that sets me and you free

Free to believe; receive LOVE

LOVE perfect casting out fears

Fears disappear finally clear

Clear to see by faith appear

Appear glimpses of Heaven

Heaven is near coming down

Down to lift us up to receive above

Above are thoughts thinking

Thinking of overcoming

Overcoming hope for souls to save

Save you and others cast aside

Aside, fallen, stuck, outcasts

Outcasts out of luck given lifeline

Lifeline held onto until walking

Walking in the LIGHT secure

Secure as sons and daughters found

Found in the Faith, Hope, and LOVE

LOVE never-ending as children of GOD

GOD has the beginning and the last WORD

WORD written & spoken draws you into HIS WORD

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But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

Veer off stray

Into the Way

LIGHT of day

Straight and Narrow

In blood and marrow

Cares for the sparrow

More so my soul

Whose made me whole

Consequences took its toll

Back from the brink

My spirit did sink

HIS Word still linked

Risen anew live again

Hidden through faith defend

Listen to do HIS will open

Set face like flint go

Get grace & mercy overflow

Met to taste & see forever know

By HIS Spirit inward seal

From HIS compassion stirred heal

With HIS LIGHT turn around appeal

Inspire faith, hope, and love receive

Attire now of armor put on believe

Higher thoughts on Heaven conceive

Lose my life for Your Names sake

Gain it back against all evil forsake

Lay it down for friends while awake

Open future doors to adore YOU all the more

Toward YOUR open arms upon open waters roar

For YOU restored all my life upon returning to the shore

Whatever YOUR will FATHER to do for YOU I desire

While in waiting, being still, as Living Water will transpire

Within me YOUR Spirit gives breath; overcomes death lit afire

To be YOUR hands and feet

To become YOUR Words to speak

To befriend YOUR strength when I am weak

 

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Would you believe in something greater?

Would you receive Someone greater?

Better late than never to be a lover of the Way, the Truth, and the Life and not a hater!!…

Better now than later!!…

 

Why go through life with just another who cannot save?

Why go through life alone asunder without that Someone brave?

Better by far with the Savior who does purchase you with the life giving blood HE gave!!…

Better when reconciled to the Creator of Heaven and earth who speaks with lightning and thunder in the awesome echoes aloud in surround sound and in the small whispers deep within that may be found to astound; known long before woven in the womb by HIS loving Hands in wonder and ever-present for you to be with HIM lifting you up from the heavy weight your under, far from blunder or plunder, past what encumbers high above beyond the grave!!…

 

What is life without your purpose to find?

What is life without HIS future of hope in mind?

Better to know why you’re here!!…

Better to understand whose you are: for all guilt and shame away from clears, to be guided while HE steers, to be guarded before HE appears, and to be growing in HIM who will draw near as you draw near!!…

 

How are you to respond when you face the end unseen?

How are you to respond when you could meet the KING of kings?

Better to be on your way and now open to be in Heaven where all that’s good once there will bring!!…

Better to return to the only One who will redeem!!…

[“Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:3-4]

 

Where can you discover the greater love that endures forever?

Where can you discover the greater love that nothing in this life here can ever sever?

Better to call on JESUS from your own mouth and heart, coming as you are, to forgive you for going your own way prone to wander until almost gone, to save you from whatever you may have done wrong, to bring healing to your soul needed all along who will never leave you nor forsake you ever!!…

Better to fall at HIS feet in surrender, tether yourself to HIS mighty righteous right hand that will deliver, and weather through the storms with HIM on the rising waters who understands you can’t hold it together rather than fall away from HIM altogether!!…

 

Will I be accepted with my depression, my mental illness, or my suicidal ideation so real?

Will I be accepted with my fear, my failure, or my lack of faith ordeal?

Better you will be when you come to HIM as you are; able then to handle anything as you yield!!…

Better you will be when you come to HIM as you are with all that you feel until you begin to heal!!…

[Verses of encouragement when dealing with depression]

[Verses of encouragement when dealing with mental illness]

[Verses of encouragement when dealing with fear]

[Verses of encouragement when dealing with failure]

[Verses of encouragement to have more faith]

 

When will HE answer my prayer?

When will HE answer with care?

Better to wait on HIM for HIS timing while in the suffering share, wait on HIM for HIS rescue and repair, wait on HIM for HIS renewed strength to stare down your giants to slay with renewed faith stand up in courage now to dare facing anything that comes your way with HIM beware,  and wait on HIM with thanksgiving to declare!!…

Better to realize when life is unfair that your daily burdens HE does bear, until you’ve grown mature stronger in HIM more aware to show compassion you too needed that once received unto others now give this same care found to be so rare!!…

[“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”  Matthew 7:7-8]

 

Could you conceive beyond what you can think, ask, or imagine?

Could you perceive the bond with whom HIS own hands have fashioned and holds you knitted together within?

Better to conceive of your life with HIM meant to win!!…

Better to perceive what your life can be with HIM arisen!!…

 

Can I just believe?

Can I just receive?

Yes, it’s your choice to live a new life and the old one leave!!…

Yes, it’s your voice HE longs to hear putting your trust in HIM so your soul will be made whole to cleave with a new heart and a new spirit given for a beautiful tapestry HE will begin to weave!!…

 

Is there a guarantee?

Is there such a thing as being set free?

Those who call on the name of the LORD will be saved and there’s the promise for living on in Heaven eternally!!…

IF the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed!!…

[And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession–to the praise of his glory. Ephesians 1:13-14] 

 

 

 

I remember not long ago needing slack for You to bring me back…

Jagged ledges can’t climb around or reach above -stuck then

Ragged pledges won’t climb down to beseech below -shun again

I remember further back; despairing attacks becoming a paranoiac and an insomniac…

Staggering of past avalanches brought me into a rut left with nil that chides downhill to my lowest point donned -found weak and stunned to barely cope

Lagging with present damages caught up with me yet will I rise until… do so slowest to join fond crown peak -need to overrun to see hope

I remember just awhile back what I lacked

Aggravating “what if” future ravages wrought; confront to perceive Who still guides and will grow through knowest truths choice beyond abounds -seek the SON set free elope

Agonizing daily challenges sought, want apprise to their shrill cries, fulfill overflow to showest proofs voice of love surrounds unique among -let receive lifelines rope

Adores HIS goal unfold to mold me; fought through the strife

 

I remember You going the extra mile to…

Carry me over rugged mountain too high as fears cease

Care for me into the valley of joy to find Your peace

I remember being with You while I accrued breakthroughs…

Riding in truth during amends to talk with You confide as anxieties decrease

Abiding in You on the journey then to walk with you beside as trust does increase

I remember You leading me out of denial anew…

Along the streams edge refreshing purity in me define

Upon green pastures privilege meshing; resting in Thee divine

Restores my soul whole to behold Thee; brought into new life in sweet release

I will always remember how You reconciled in being faithful and true…

I remember to forever thank You for the rescue!!!…

 

I found this song after I wrote the poem below:

 

Just a passerby

Had I known why

You cry in the night

A pause in my day light

I’d stand beside

Walk with you in the fight

Lead you to hold HIS hand tight

Healing to be found despite the fright

 

Just a passerby

Had I any insight

You stuck in wrongs plight

A pause for prayer to make right

I’d help you understand forgiveness as snow pure white

Standing to intercede with High Priest from Heaven’s height

Lead you to find freedom inside

Healing to be found no longer to hide

 

Just a passerby

Had no one took the time for me nearby

I was unable to fly away into open sky

A pause finds depression stuck in negative thoughts gone awry

You’d have said or thought there’s no hope if I’d confide

Crawling toward silence in my demise wandering into darkness of suicide

Lead me to remember in whom I can confide

Healing to be found where my haunting fears subside

 

Just a passerby

Had You given up on me?  All Your help deny??

I called on You in faith lost and alone despite

A pause with broken spirit heart contrite

You’d answer my prayer to rescue and not despise

Carrying me upon Your shoulder home after finding me leaving ninety-nine

Lead me to safe green pasture… in You I begin to delight

Healing to be found restoring my soul into new life until my spirit reignite no longer on my own left behind to die

 

So much lost

Along the way

At great cost

Failed to obey

To and fro tossed

In the wind and waves

An ocean of emotions cannot make it across

Almost drown as hope deflates

Coping defenses exhaust

Fall under the weight

Stranded in spiritual desert embossed

Stuck in drought of depression’s state

Near to an end or life just paused

What if I look up to Heaven for HIS help only await

Will my need for HIS grace enter despite the outward hurt and inward pain caused

Will HIS mercy and compassion allow me to begin again to relate

Will HIS blood applied gloss over my flaws in the hearing of angel’s echoing applause

Will healing balm my wounds to become scars within HIS own where love equates

JESUS, You redeemed my life from the deepest darkest pit…  I would not have known what unfailing love and mercy was had I given up and quit…

So much gained

Along the way

At great cost

Stronger desire to obey

No longer to and fro tossed

Stand on the Rock unafraid of wind and waves

Familiar with an ocean of emotions to understand;  will help others across

A lifeline I have to give so others won’t drown until hope inflates

With hoping continually… with putting full armor of defenses on daily… and with pure true love offering reassuringly… I will put into practice until many are free from the fears and anxieties that exhaust

Fell under;  yet did I rise above to bear their burdens with HIM supporting the weight

Landed in a spiritual oasis embossed

Lifting me out of the pit, I know HE will lift up those stuck also refilling their cup to overflowing out of depression’s state

HE draws near to whoever draws near to HIM even at their end, until they realize life just paused

Will keep and uphold in prayer until they look up to Heaven for HIS help only await

To experience HIS grace too despite the outward hurt and inward pain caused

Generously extended is HIS mercy and compassion restoring souls again to relate

HIS blood applied gloss over anyone and everyone’s flaws, who believe and trust HIM in the hearing of angel’s echoing applause, never leaving us alone… always and forever to be awed…

Healing I’ve received is returning to balm yours and others wounds as well to become scars within HIS own where unfailing love equates…

 

 

 

When you’re ready, you will trust in GOD again… you have that choice, you own that decision only you can make, you have the will to empower trust in HIM whenever you want to practice it…

Trust is a heart and soul thing that grows after you set your mind to begin the endeavor again… You can learn to trust in HIM with moments (like your move to a new place) and choose to trust HIM for healing (like your lifelong journey through trauma/abuse to triumph/astounding) whenever you want… When you fall back to not trusting, from that low point and helpless perspective; you can once again look up in trust to your Heavenly FATHER who gives good gifts and wants to love and care for you… You may choose to trust in moments or a daily decision through prayer (prayer is turning to HIM in trust) and pouring out your heart (through talking to HIM out loud, quietly inside, or writing it out)…

You’re loved and cared for not matter what… You’ll get to know/relearn HIS love and care as you decide to trust when you choose to… I am proud of you when you choose to reach out to those weak in need of love and care… In your weakness, JESUS is strong… Being there for them in being who you are matters and is doing good despite what you may feel or think about yourself… You are showing faith in action; doing GOD’s will in doing HIS Word:

Psalm 41
1 Blessed are those who have regard for the weak;
the Lord delivers them in times of trouble.
2 The Lord protects and preserves them—
they are counted among the blessed in the land—
he does not give them over to the desire of their foes.
3 The Lord sustains them on their sickbed
and restores them from their bed of illness.

verse 1 “regard for the weak”; for me the orphans, for you may be anyone weak you reach out to (orphans, special needs children/adults, homeless, abused and neglected souls, widows/widowers, or elderly)

Focus on these Words above and let it become one of your life verses/life mantra…

These verses helped me hang on, believe and trust, and reach out and one day HE answered these promises in my own life… These awesome Words came true through HIM and through me, for me, and in me… I still cannot fathom the turn-around in my life because of JESUS the Living and active Word bringing this about and GOD the FATHER’s mercy and compassion for me…

Look carefully and choose to believe and trust for these to be your benefits as well:

1) delivers them in times of trouble
2) protects and preserves them / does not give them over to the desire of their foes (who want to steal, kill, or destroy; suicide)
3) restores them from their bed of illness (physically or emotionally or mentally or socially or spiritually; for me all 5)

If HE did it for me; I know HE will do it for you… Why? because HE is true to HIS Word and desires to be faithful in a person’s life
When? in HIS timing; so difficult to wait I know (took years for me) maybe for you quicker than my experience
How? in small and grand ways along the journey; sometimes miraculously
Who? you (for you do have regard for the weak)
Where? inside you

I know I went through what I went through to be a help/support to others weaker… This is ultimately the outcome from what I didn’t think was fair, what I didn’t understand, why I was abandoned, why I was often alone in my trauma and not knowing why GOD wasn’t there bringing me through like I knew HE could; why it wasn’t right a way – yet waited for me to learn mercy and compassion at the core of who I am now… HE took me through the depths of darkness to reach out to anybody now with profound faith, hope, and love… with confidence in HIM and who HE is and what I now know HE can/will do…

Much of my trauma was self-inflicted (so full of guilt and shame) from turning away from GOD in rebellious youthful sin and desires being as lost as one can be. Yet I turned to HIM and HE still answered me… me? why me? why HE didn’t abandon me further? why did HE not leave me in my sin? HIS love is greater than anyone can know or fathom… Now I live to show HIS love I know and continue to attempt to fathom… If I didn’t learn through painful depths to know HIS love, mercy, and compassion; then how would I know HIM as HE is and learn that I could reach those who may be in need… HE will choose and use the weak and unlearned to profound the strong and wise… There is so much darkness and cruelty in this world. HE takes some of us through trauma and darkness so we can be a light that shines in it as HE rescues precious children, men, and women that need HIM… sometimes to reveal what HIS love is through us… We choose to pray for and be there present and intercede for them because we know… we understand… we will stand for them… we will choose to love… we will choose purity… we will love purely… Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see GOD (Matthew 5:8)…

You’re not a failure… You’re more than a conqueror through HIM who gives you strength… When you are weak come to HIM for rest… When you can’t do it anymore, wait on HIM for renewed strength… HE is faithful to HIS Word even when we are not…

Oh and let’s look at Psalm 41 vs. 4

I said, “Have mercy on me, Lord;
heal me, for I have sinned against you.”

What if we have sinned in some way!! Well I asked the LORD for mercy and to heal me of course… And so, HE healed me… me… and you?… you too!!!…

Ok! So you just got the wave from HIS ocean that was building within me to reach the shore of those needing mercy that will also be a blog post for my website that I have been wanting to write on Psalm 41 for a long, long while… I wrote this for you for sure; yet it is also for anyone else needing encouragement as well…

Though I don’t see You

I’ll trust in whose forever true

I’ll trust each day anew

 

Though I don’t always feel You near

I’ll trust the One who collects our tears

I’ll trust the One whose love casts out the fears

 

Though I don’t know what tomorrow brings or holds

I’ll trust and follow the One whom my soul clings to among Your sheepfolds

I’ll trust and go bold delighting under Your banner of love that over me sings and run after promises foretold however life unfolds

 

Though I don’t always hear Your voice

I’ll trust whose silence still commands me to believe with faiths choice

I’ll trust in HIS Words made alive to rejoice

 

Though I’m often weak and it’s difficult to maintain

I’ll trust and seek Your strength that will sustain

I’ll trust You’ll never leave nor forsake;  faithful in mercy to remain

 

Though I may die sooner or later, prove Your future promise of hopeful remedy and find in You my truest identity, in tragedy or catastrophe, in good or bad weather

I’ll trust in Your love that nothing whatsoever can ever sever;  never

I’ll trust You’ll raise me to life again in the prepared place in Heaven to be together with family and friends unto forever…  until then… will make You known, will let Your love and truth be sown, and will share faith and hope for them to be sure their not alone as my ongoing endeavor…