Archive for the ‘Suicide’ Category

Broken Dream Until Mended Reality

Posted: April 11, 2021 in battles, believe, broken dream, compassion, confidence, counsel, darkness, Death, depression, direction, Dream, dreams, encourage, endure, faith, faithfulness, fears, fills our cup, focus, forgiveness, Freedom, future, God, grace, guidance, HE makes all things new, healing, heart, heaven, HIS Life, HIS Love, HIS Presence, HIS Spirit, HIS Truth, HIS will, HIS WORD, Hope, inspiration, Jesus, Life, life and blessing, Light, live, Love, meant to be, mental illness, mercy, mind, move forward, new, new life, nightmares, open door, paths of righteousness, peace, persevere, Poems, pouring out your heart, pressing on, promises, pure, purpose, redemption, regret, renew, rescue, rest, restore, Resurrection, revive, reward, setting us free, shame, sins, soar, soul, Spirit, suicidal, suicidal ideation, suicidal thoughts, Suicide, tears, the Way, the Truth, and the Life, time, Trust, truth, vision, walk again, weary and heavy burdened, wisdom
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There is grace for every broken dream

Onward walk to continue being

Onward unseen until mended reality seeing

Onward forward steps keep repeating

Onward go on for you’re worth your heart beating

Onward becoming who you’re meant to be rather than retreating or worse yet leaving

Onward knowing HE lives at the right hand of GOD with scars for you interceding

Onward heeding HIS voice of encouraging to continue enduring and persevering even if for now it’s just breathing

On HIM always lean…


Press on rather than regress despite feeling depressed

Pass the test to go on beyond the trials and tribulations that oppress

Continue with faith in the SON for making progress

Continue to hope in HIM to find rest

Continue in HIS love which is greatest and will work out what is best

Choose life and blessing over death and cursing that HE died to give you as your inspiring and motivating quest

Draw near to HIM and HE will draw nearer sincerest as you pour out your heart to HIM in confidence rather than those feelings just suppress

Reassess life as a maturing process, mess of sin with guilt and shame confess to find forgiveness, and then will profess HIS evidence realized further along life’s journey of HIS faithfulness

Focus is more when there is less…


Less to not weigh you down in fear replaced by HIS love held dear

Less worry in your heart found in HIM who makes it disappear

Less weary chasing after empty success that falls aground like tears

Less willful of your own plans that fail here

Less want of the world’s lust wandering into sin that causes pain and torment so severe

Less wasting away in your illness with HIS acceptance of all that you are by caring for yourself to improve mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health adhere

Less wavering in unbelief by simply believing HE will turn your life around with HIS patience and gentleness steer

Less wondering about what ifs of the past that HE uses in your future to help others made more clear

Less while HE becomes more to you during your extended years


More faith in HIS truth so you’re no longer unruly that will no longer duly offend

More hope and trust in HIS ways you can truly depend on now that you’re newly opened

More love in HIS life abiding to be a light shining in darkness to give freely and often

More mercy from HIS healing throne of Heaven that is new every morning sent

More compassion from HIS heart to listen to others vent -even from suicide may prevent

More grace from HIS hand to lead and guide you along righteous paths that will leave no regret in retrospect

More of HIS Spirit welcoming within who will comfort you with HIS Presence, counsel you with HIS wisdom, and care for your well-being with moans expressed according to GOD’s will for your life when words of prayer fail to connect

More delighting in HIM to be given the desires of your heart meant to mend your dreams again made relevant where nightmares can’t circumvent

More freedom will come after suffering through a set timeframe where to live is Christ and to die is gain that is effective when wait on GOD’s timing and not your own as you wait to resurrect into HIS arms as Heaven’s resident


Wait on HIM for new strength returning to soar above the storms on eagle’s wings freeing

Wait on HIM for renewing your mind with truth until having soundness of peace releasing

Wait on HIM for reviving your heart recreating within purity and right desires brought back into the land of the living reconvening

Wait on HIM for rescue unto redemption forthcoming that will restore your soul and implore within you vision, purpose, and meaning that’s increasing

Wait on HIM for refilling your cup to overflowing until refreshing your spirit into HIS will agreeing and being a doer of HIS Word unleashing

Wait on HIM watching as HE wins every battle in your war raging against the enemy who attempts at deceiving

Wait on HIM to direct your steps through open doors revealing

Wait on HIM for HIS promises open handed toward until receiving

Wait on HIM for complete healing that makes you whole whether here on earth or there in Heaven as the great reward for continually believing

I walk past my dad sleeping on the couch.  He came to get me.  I open the door slowly, quietly.  I close it behind me.  I realize now that it was unwise of me to not get help and go it on my own.  But I didn’t think of getting help until it was too late.  Ask for help if you need it!…

I walk away further than I had been into the darkest night.  I had been walking away for quite some time.  Away from faith and trust in JESUS.  Late nights, barely any sleep.  Trying to get through my university classes and working.  Hadn’t been eating much if not at all for weeks.  Thoughts began turning against me until suicidal.  I realize now I was needing to eat and nourish my body and was part of the reason my mind turned against myself.  Nourish your body so as not to do it damage or cause the wiring in the brain to malfunction/misfire…

As I walked onward, the intensity of the situation became unbearable.  GOD seemed to be warning me and I questioned it wondering if I should turn back.  Then I made the decision to go farther at a quicker pace.  Swarms of mosquitos appear out of nowhere attacking my hypersensitive self to make matters worse and more dreadful than at first.  It was torturous and had never happened to me before nor anytime after.  I think about turning back again.  I continue on instead.  I believe GOD was trying to stop me, but I wouldn’t listen.  I realize now that it wasn’t GOD’s heart for me to do.  GOD doesn’t tempt us to hurt ourselves or to commit suicide and wants us to trust HIM as HE works in and through us to become who HE’s called us to be…

I understand though how someone can get so low as to commit suicide.  I don’t judge, yet I know that GOD’s heart is not for this to be the outcome…

I ended up in a field of abandoned cars.  Ironic that this is how I felt.  Abandoned.  An empty shell of my former self.  Wide open to the elements.  No more human presence.  Not able to go anymore.  Broken spirit like all the engines there.  I sat in one of the doorless vehicles contemplating for hours whether I’d take my life or not.  Then I contemplated what seemed like just minutes or seconds. 2 or 3 times got ready then decided this is it.  It was then as if the enemy of my soul took his heavy pressuring off of me as I attempted.  It was as if he pushed me to that edge.  Then I was left all alone.  So I thought.  I realize now that GOD doesn’t give up on anyone and will help us when we turn back to HIM in trust continuing to live on until HE rebuilds us… Place your trust in GOD to get you through anything by choosing to endure and persevere for there is great reward if you do…


I came up for air.  I realize now GOD wouldn’t let me drown, because HE had a plan for my life…  But I didn’t know it then.  GOD has a plan for a hope and a future for you too…


Confused.  What did I do?  I was scared.  Cursed.  Accursed?  That is how I felt.  I realize now that GOD has great compassion and enduring mercy.  HE wouldn’t abandon me like the car in the broken empty graveyard.  But I didn’t know it then.  GOD will show you great compassion and enduring mercy to the most difficult things you’ve experienced in your life…  Let HIM help you too…


I’m still alive.  Am I though?  I felt so lost, ashamed, and guilt ridden as I walked back.  I realize now GOD would find me, heal me, and forgive me further along the healing journey.   But I didn’t know it then.  At some point GOD will find you, heal you inside, and forgive you too if you ask HIM, seek HIM, and knock for HIM when don’t give up (took time over 19 years to experience healing of various aspects of my mind, heart, soul, and spirit). JESUS is faithful and true and I couldn’t do it on my own without HIM… HE’s brought me this far and I give HIM thanks in all things the good, the bad, and the ugly…


As I reached the nearest road, a person pulled over and took me to my apartment with my dad unknowing of one of the darkest moments of my life.  I was so desperate that I didn’t even tell him the seriousness of what I was dealing with.  I realize now that GOD moved on my dad’s heart to come get me traveling over 800 miles after I called my mom and let her know I wasn’t doing good.  If you need to be honest and tell someone you need help too, do it…  It’s ok when you’re feeling so very weak to get support until you’re better… Don’t wait (especially if you’re thinking of suicide and/or not eating…) It’s ok…  Getting help is being human and alive…  If you don’t have anyone, feel free to reach out to me…  Email me at:

There are emergency numbers to call on this website as well.

To be continued…


Gone in an instant

Nearby or distant

Happen so fast

Only memories last

It seems a dream

Or nightmare’s scream

Unborn never breathe

A child too soon leave

A youth in their prime

Runs out of time

Young adult taken

Feel heartache forsaken

Parent no longer near

Who offers advice to steer

Elderly wear thin so frail

Just give out a heart fail

Are you lost in despair

When life just isn’t fair

How can I understand

All I know HE has a plan

Trust in JESUS through trials

Keep in touch all the while

Get through it no matter

Stay closer rather than scatter

Hold on to the Lifeline

Faith, hope, and love find

You’re alive now for a reason

Even if it may be only a season

You’re time too will come

When it does go to HIS Kingdom

Only if you believe on the LORD

HE bought what money couldn’t afford

A room just for you better than a mansion

No more fear, pain, sickness, death fathom

You brought near by HIS blood essence

Don’t give in to suicide; await HIS Presence

For there is great reward to persevere and endure

More than a conqueror overcome severe until secure

One day forevermore eternity into later reunion

No longer daily uncertainty into greater communion 

Where the end is not the end only buffering

Accept there will be an end to lonely suffering 

Into new beginnings Rock of Salvation’s war scars underpinnings

With thanksgivings lock in ovations for Morningstar’s winnings

Open wide HIS gates for those who walk the straight and narrow

Broken stride awaits body brand new walk in strength beyond marrow

Dry as desert desolate come alive HE will deliver again 

By Living Water treasured activate dive in HIS river to mend

Renews mind to be sound, clear, instill with peace

Redeems heart to freely pound no fear beyond downhill ceased

Restores soul to be found appear new will lease

Replenishes inside gracefully abound, sincere, day to day still increased

Refreshes spirit bountifully surround, near, fulfilled, released

Remains HE will be to the end found even until after deceased…


A world turn to ice

Rotation seems to stop -test

The roll of the dice


Grow up to release stress

Resistance to change

Succumb to nevertheless


Desire to be someone

Lost in the night from days depressed

Fade with disappearance of the sun


Where becomes the focus more or less

Inward view at darkness strange

Hell on earth felt with mental illness


Battle is in my mind

Life or death hangs in the balance hard pressed

Can’t help but look for a sign


Negative thoughts overtake intense

Fear and doubt narrows outlooks range

Future dread, past enchains, present in suspense


Let go self care

Minimalizing nourishment starving inside as my guest

Brain eating itself deceiving now aware


Cold heart mourn trespassed east to west

Soul torn in unrest

Frozen spirit forlorn tests distressed

Mind stuck on warning/warning/warning/warn?!. digress

Perfect storm enters inside to derange

Panic stricken hidden within head’s walls torments


Suicide has access

How come I acquiesce

Open the door, crossed the line oppressed


Suicidal hours pass suppress

Relentless until possess -success?!.

Drown out voices in excess


No such attempt a success…

Come up for air with will still to live reassess

Arise soaken wet convalesce


Hitch a ride back to civilization egress

At a loss that death somehow did outguess finality this time, how to process?

Did I go too far with the way I transgress?


Parents sullen expression hopeless -turn their back and walk away

My only hope is Heaven above to hear my cries to HIM confess

Scared the enemy stalks in this darkness; hearing breaths closing in for attack as I pray


In time JESUS answers to rescue, restore, redeem to repossess

Relationship with the LORD reestablished over the years with interchange

Taken back into the sheepfold to learn trust has been an ongoing process


All HE did for me I can’t express fully in my writings or with my spoken words, but I try

Yet, JESUS, is HIS precious name I will forever profess

Since HE has heard my wavering cries, I will walk with HIM no longer to deny for faith, hope, and love now unto others apply…


Frozen ice melts with the SON press on Heavenward progress

Saves lives, softens hearts, sanctifies minds, sets spirits free in wondrous and beautiful exchange

Casts out fear with perfect love HE has won to bless…


Keep and Hold

Posted: August 27, 2018 in suicidal, Suicide
Tags: ,



I miss you

I missed you

If given chance…

I’d listen to rants

If given moments…

I’d be there when your were low/tense

If given stance…

I’d stand in the gaps

If given time…

I’d reach out;  for you to find

If given contact…

I’d fill your want/lack

If given reality…

I’d free you from the malady


I missed you

I miss you

I’d hold you by the wrist

I’d stop the bleeding in my fist

I’d hold you tight to save your life insist

I’d help you fight temptations of death resist

I’d comfort you inside only forehead kissed

I’d build trust;  confide so pure as a child wished

I’d bring you Truth to hide in your heart enlist

I’d bring you Truth to subside the lies; renew your mind with each needed gist

I’d bring you Truth to abide your soul with Heaven’s bliss

I’d bring you Truth to arise your spirit in freedom exist

I’d stay close by until negativity, fears, and anxieties go away with strength desist

I’d walk beside until encouraged to always seek breakthrough and persist

I’d empower you with faith, hope, and love now and forevermore consist


I missed you

I miss you

I’d cup my hand over your mouth

I’d stop the inevitable overdose blackout

I’d be present with you as life went south

I’d be there to answer the cries you shout

I’d encourage you when there was a no hope drought

I’d hold your hand in the darkness to lead you out

I’d show you there’s a faith, hope, and love new route

I’d fight alongside you through each debilitating bout

I’d remind you that as a child of GOD you can carry a more than conqueror with courage clout

I’d help you overcome until new life would sprout

I’d see you grow and be amazed as you became stout

I’d be thankful how GOD turned it all around in what love brings about, no longer know life living the pain of you gone -without


I missed you

I miss you

I’d bring back oxygen into and through your throat

I’d stop the suffocating rope

I’d bring you back down to cope

I’d be there so you’re not alone in the dark to grope

I’d make you realize suicide isn’t the only way or the answer;  nope

I’d offer the 3 chord strand of rope to hold onto bringing you back from the slippery slope

I’d love, care, and accept you even when all you can do is mope

I’d encourage you on, no matter the unrelenting negative scope

I’d help you see your genuine internal special qualities as if a microscope

I’d help you see what you’re meant to be and can dream and do beyond the stars as if a telescope

I’d help you see the beauty all around us as if a kaleidoscope

I’d see you again with faith to love, as if reborn, to hope


I missed you

I miss you

I’d close down the bar as you were getting drunk

I’d stop you from entering your vehicle taking your keys up

I’d prevent the looming crash that left you unrecognizable in a pile of metal junk

I’d drive you to where I stay watching over you rather than over cliffside plunk

I’d listen with care and support that put you in a stupor and beyond hope sunk

I’d be there whenever you felt despair in the lowest funk

I’d help you until hope returned through the darkest deepest cave spelunk

I’d bring you back out into the Light when your dreams of better life shrunk

I’d speak truth into your heart and mind for your soul and spirit to unwind up from the danger zone pluck

I’d hold on to you as your emotions and mental stress ran amok

I’d encourage you when desires died and death’s only remedy struck until the suicidal thoughts you fought giving you the strength to buck

I’d lead you into faith, hope, and love whenever you got stuck


I missed you

I miss you

I’d jump into the waters below until you’re found

I’d stop the water course down until you’re above and no longer drown

I’d not let go, no matter how hard the tumultuous waves pound

I’d swim with you until you reach the shore to stand on the ROCK of Salvation on higher ground

I’d always be around for love, care, and support to surround

I’d continue praying and encouraging until the chains are broken that have you bound

I’d be your joy to your fragile frown

I’d hold you close with every breakdown

I’d pray continually until you calm down and answers are obtained through faith without a sound

I’d make you realize your worth with HIS Word and experience of faith, hope, and love to expound

I’d see you rise above it all to utterly astound

I’d see you far along instead of goodbyes with more love for self and others to abound


I missed you

I miss you

I’d prevent you from pulling the trigger done

I’d stop your clenching hand fixed upon the cold steel gun

I’d empty the bullet no longer meant for your premature end leaving us stunned

I’d make you believe you can live on and hope again when there is none

I’d be ready to hold your hand when you feel you have to run

I’d release you from the web of lies around you spun

I’d give you purpose for the breath in your lungs

I’d encourage you to persevere and endure until each battle you’ve won

I’d lead you to life abundantly full and away from all evil shun

I’d help you know you’re not alone and that in your corner is another greater One

I’d remind you there is a Savior, Good Shepherd, and Redeemer in GOD’s own Son

I’d see you free with faith, hope, and love in new life begun


I don’t want to have missed you

I don’t want to miss you

HE will keep you from all harms

HE will hold you forever in HIS arms

HE will keep you from above

HE will hold you forever in HIS love

HE will keep you always in HIS care

HE will hold you forever with grace and mercy share

HE will keep you from being left in the dark on your own

HE will hold you forever in the Light shone

HE will keep you until you obtain a sound mind

HE will hold you forever never left behind, so to yourself be kind and with offer of new life soon to find

HE will keep you even to the very end

HE will hold you forever and your soul always defend until all that you are does mend








Image result for heaven and hell

Fallen deep pit

Hidden pitch black

Walled in steep outwit

Forbidden niche lack

All alone sit

Sudden despair attack

On my own unfit

Backslidden rebellion retract

Mood swings low until hollow only the negativity transmit

Suicidal thoughts screams overthrow into mind hack

Guilt and shame drown with an attempt as reality hit

Stunned in shock with voice stolen by enemy flak

Fear overwhelmed almost overtaken by demons as I waited in transit

Overcome was my soul out of whack

Hell made real stuck between good vs. evil with personality split


Sullen weep uplift

Freedom bring back

Called within;  keep lit

Seventy x seven forgiven;  does it make up the slack

Failure of wrongs confess to HIM admit

Open door of hope impact

A 3 chord strand of rope equipped

Burden of apprehension weigh upon unpack

Light of love shone won’t quit

Broken and contrite as a matter of fact

Healing the rift between my heart, soul, and spirit

Kingdom care steer on track

Given a sound mind again as I renew it

Heaven’s destination remind where treasures stack with compassions destiny mine to be exact

Faith to live on now the pre-requisite






Special someone overseas discovery

Seems so far away in reality

Sincerely settling within compassion near as can be

Searching soul opens up beautifully with pleasantries

Seeking samplings stranded in madness found in the midst of sadness revealing secrets in poetry once hidden merely

Sensations seen of scars unseen into scenes of teardrops bleeding bladed entries

Sighting suicidal thoughts deceiving tendencies

Sweet sierras needing relieving simplicities

Sorrowful screaming voices pleading beyond ones of fatality and fallacies

Salvation’s streaming Light rebirthing into faith, hope, and courage leading from Heaven’s treasuries

Sending soothing second chances fulfilling new found love, grace, and mercies interceding advocacy

Sanctifying stance to persevere past fear superseding in a war of casualties

Strength’s Source will endure to the end… tour of duty heeding toward truths amnesty

Surmounting Spirit-led rise above… disguise not love… cheerfully greeting one another miraculously entreating healing eternally to live on unimaginably

I found this song after I wrote the poem below:


Just a passerby

Had I known why

You cry in the night

A pause in my day light

I’d stand beside

Walk with you in the fight

Lead you to hold HIS hand tight

Healing to be found despite the fright


Just a passerby

Had I any insight

You stuck in wrongs plight

A pause for prayer to make right

I’d help you understand forgiveness as snow pure white

Standing to intercede with High Priest from Heaven’s height

Lead you to find freedom inside

Healing to be found no longer to hide


Just a passerby

Had no one took the time for me nearby

I was unable to fly away into open sky

A pause finds depression stuck in negative thoughts gone awry

You’d have said or thought there’s no hope if I’d confide

Crawling toward silence in my demise wandering into darkness of suicide

Lead me to remember in whom I can confide

Healing to be found where my haunting fears subside


Just a passerby

Had You given up on me?  All Your help deny??

I called on You in faith lost and alone despite

A pause with broken spirit heart contrite

You’d answer my prayer to rescue and not despise

Carrying me upon Your shoulder home after finding me leaving ninety-nine

Lead me to safe green pasture… in You I begin to delight

Healing to be found restoring my soul into new life until my spirit reignite no longer on my own left behind to die


If you're overwhelmed by suicidal thoughts 
or have a plan for suicide, it is ok to
get help from a mental health professional 
for meds to help support you 
as well as counseling as you look to be hopeful again 
and better manage your precious life 
(especially if you've been abused or experienced trauma in any way)...
You're worthwhile and valuable...
I care about you!!...  Reach out to me anytime...
I want you to be an overcomer and a fighter...
L.ive O.n V.ictorious E.ndeavor
Choose L.O.V.E.; 
L.ift-up I.nspirational F.uture E.ndure
Choose L.I.F.E.

In my acronym, S.T.A.R.T.S. will mean: 

something you do…

something new you do… 

something you continue to do…







Personal Thanks to GOD:

Giving thanks honors GOD and is worthwhile to do.  It helps counteract depression and fosters hope in dealing with mental illness and suicidal thoughts…

Psalm 106:1

Praise the Lord.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
    his love endures forever.

Psalm 50:23

23 Those who sacrifice thank offerings honor me,
    and to the blameless I will show my salvation.”

Importance of Giving Thanks:
  • Focuses on something good each day
  • Over time will change perspective to be more positive
  • Challenges you to do self-care and make right decisions
  • Utilizes time to reflect;  may look back at any time to see how far you’ve come
  • See GOD at work in your life;  brings to mind areas and ways you still need HIS help

There are proven scientific studies of the benefits of Gratitude:

Promotes well being:

  • relationally
  • physically
  • psychologically
  • in having empathy/less aggression
  • in sleep
  • in self-esteem
  • mentally

Related image

Personal Prayer Application

I experienced well being spiritually as well as in the areas above.  When including thanks in prayers for what you need, there is peace protecting your heart and mind…  Every person with depression and/or mental illness needs this…

Philippians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

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Personal Journal Application:

I began by writing down anything I could be thankful for in the evenings before going to sleep.  It became a habit and an essential part of my healing journey.  I jotted down the date and briefly wrote a word or phrase of thanks to GOD.  I have many spiral notebooks full of daily thanksgivings written over many years.  This was a constructive activity that was life changing.  I grew as a person in my interactions with GOD by doing this simple task.  My outlook on life became more hopeful and I experienced more peace inside…

Psalm 9:1

I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart;
    I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.

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Personal Life Application:

Giving thanks for even the most difficult trials and ways we may suffer promote levels of understanding, empathy, and compassion that we can extend to others in need.  It also paves the way for greater healing and breakthroughs along the journey…

I challenge you to make the small effort of giving thanks to GOD and find out for yourself the great and wondrous benefits you will receive to help you in this endeavor called life…  You will be the better for it…

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Colossians 3:17

17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Give thanks in everything

In the trials and the tests

Forgiven as far as East to West

This then is something I can bring

Give thanks for this is HIS will for me

In Christ JESUS through trust

Driven by HIS mercy and compassion I must

This then is still my hearts desire delighting in Thee

Give thanks after I present my requests to receive anything

In hope for HIS Presence to be in me above all

Given wisdom to do HIS will when answering HIS call

This then is HIS promise to guard my heart and mind with peace surpassing understanding

Give thanks YOU died for me to be KING of kings and High Priest interceding

In Heaven at GOD the FATHER’s right hand on the throne

Live in freedom with faith growing in YOU no longer alone

This then is why faith, hope, and love remain in me the reason unto others I’m entreating to be believing

Give thanks to follow your leading

In grace open with new vision

Mission for the Great Commission come to fruition

This then is my decision yielding for lost to be saved pleading

Give thanks forevermore into eternity

In whatever I must overcome I’ll do for YOU

Listen to obey along the narrow path pure and true

This then is my commitment anew bringing within serenity

The Suicide Ripple Effect

Posted: July 6, 2018 in suicidal, Suicide
Tags: ,



Here is the website to find out more about this movement to help save lives:

If you're overwhelmed by suicidal thoughts 
or have a plan for suicide, it is ok to
get help from a mental health professional 
for meds to help support you 
as well as counseling as you look to be hopeful again 
and better manage your precious life 
(especially if you've been abused or experienced trauma in any way)...
I care about you!!...  Reach out to me anytime...
You're worthwhile and valuable...
I want you to be an overcomer and a fighter...
L.ive O.n V.ictorious E.ndeavor
Choose L.O.V.E.; 
L.ift-up I.nspirational F.uture E.ndure
Choose L.I.F.E.

In my acronym, S.T.A.R.T.S. will mean: 

something you do…

something new you do… 

something you continue to do…








YES!  Prayer will help when dealing with mental illness no matter how severe…

GOD has helped me through praying to HIM in all areas of my life…

Over the course of time, I have experienced levels of healing and breakthroughs..

If you’re suicidal, you can pray too and seek professional help…

It is okay to get counseling and take meds -I have and do…

All of you are valuable and worthwhile…

The benefits of prayer have even been proven by scientific studies (this is just one sites examples; there are others) so take a look:

Some findings include:

  • prevent sickness
  • when sick, heal faster
  • cope with stress better
  • have more hope
  • more optimistic
  • less depression
  • less anxiety
  • commit suicide less
  • stronger immune system
  • lower blood pressure
  • prolongs life

Part 1. Misconceptions

Part 2. What is Prayer?

Part 3.  Real Life Personal Examples of Answered Prayers

Part 4.  JESUS Prays for Us Who Are HIS Own

Part 5. Parameters/Guidelines for Prayer & Examples to Pray 

1. Misconceptions

Misconception:  It never works.

Fact:  You haven’t tried it very long.  You may have stopped praying altogether and gave up.  You may be praying for something that is not GOD’s will or not in HIS timing yet.  Sometimes you have to believe you receive what you asked for and wait.  Sometimes you need to keep being persistent until HE answers.  In both ways, it depends on if it is HIS will and timing.

Luke 11:5-10 

Then Jesus said to them, “Suppose you have a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread; a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have no food to offer him.’ And suppose the one inside answers, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children and I are in bed. I can’t get up and give you anything.’ I tell you, even though he will not get up and give you the bread because of friendship, yet because of your shameless audacity he will surely get up and give you as much as you need.

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Matthew 21:22

If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”

Luke 18:1-8

The Parable of the Persistent Widow

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’

“For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’”

And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?  I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”

Romans 12:12 

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer

1 Thessalonians 5:17

Pray without ceasing.

1 John 5:14-15

“And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.”

Misconception:  It doesn’t change things.

Fact:  Praying brings change to your attitude, provides an expectation, focuses your dependence on HIM to answer, prepares the way for a possible miracle, may move the heart of GOD to do something in your situation, and provides protection spiritually for certain and many times physically, emotionally, mentally, and socially.   God has answered prayers for me and many others…

Ephesians 6:18 

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

1 John 5:16 

If you see any brother or sister commit a sin that does not lead to death, you should pray and God will give them life…

James 5:13 

Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise.

Matthew 26:41 

“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

James 5:16 

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Misconception:  It bounces off the ceiling.

Fact:  Yah, sound can bounce off objects, yet HE knows every thought we think or say inside despite no audible voice even.  Prayer is not made of rubber and it isn’t a ball.  Well, unless you’re like Cinderella and JESUS fits your feet with the missing shoe, then it’s a ball for sure.  And if she answers HIS call, she’ll have all in all…  GOD does answer in HIS timing and way with a Yes / favorable outcome/ gift, or No/preventing an unfavorable outcome/ not HIS will for you, or Wait for HIS timing and way

2 Chronicles 7:14

if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Psalm 102:17 

He will respond to the prayer of the destitute; he will not despise their plea.

Psalm 116: 1-2

I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;
    he heard my cry for mercy.
Because he turned his ear to me,
    I will call on him as long as I live.

Psalm 145:18 

The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

Misconception:  It isn’t the “in” thing to do.

Fact:  It is about as “in” as you can get while here on Earth…  It gets into your heart, into your mind, into your soul, and into your spirit…  It gets into Heaven and touches GOD’s heart and enters HIS ears…  An “in” thing to do is to give gifts, so is our GOD’s heart to do so as well.  HE will involve HIMSELF in your life if you let HIM…

Matthew 7:7-11

Ask, Seek, Knock

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Misconception:  There’s no rest for the weary.

Fact:  You don’t have to go it alone and we’re not meant to.  You can stop, rest, and pause at any time and ask HIM to be involved in your life and to help you when things are too difficult.

Psalm 4:1 

Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer.

Romans 8:26 

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.

Philippians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Misconception:  HE doesn’t exist.

Fact:  The big bang theory -have you ever seen something blow up and be beautiful? (ok, fire for some is, volcanoes to an extent, and fireworks for many).  Have you ever seen something blow up and stay beautiful? (not so much).  Have you ever seen something blow up and come together again and be beautiful?  Do you really think something blew up and over time came together to be every creature and person with intricate details as diverse in their internal and external workings?  And through it all began to breathe?  Or a primordial soup mixed around for millions of years until everything came together as is and breath somehow evolved.  That is a lot of faith in either one of these scenarios happening by chance.  Have you ever mixed up as many things as you can to create something beautiful?  Maybe you have as the designer with knowledge of how to mix the exact colors or the exact recipe.  Hmmm.  God created the Heavens and the Earth and everything in it.  HE is the Creator of every design in life who gave the ability to breathe, grow, and reproduce…

John 1:1-3

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with GOD in the beginning.  Through Him all things were made, and without Him nothing was made that has been made…

Psalm 90:2

Before the mountains were born
    or you brought forth the whole world,
    from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

Hebrews 11:6

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

Colossians 1:16-17

For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.  He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

Misconception:  HE doesn’t love me or even care.

Fact:  GOD gave HIS only begotten SON JESUS whom HE most loves and treasures to come from Heaven to earth to make you also one of HIS precious treasures when HE chose to die in place of you and your sins to forgive you, accept you, save and rescue you, adopt you, and prepare a place for you in Heaven with HIM where there will be no more sin, sadness, sickness, suffering, or pain to live in freedom forevermore throughout eternity.

John 3:16-17

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

Romans 5:8

but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Ephesians 2:4-5

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved—

1 John 4:9-11

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

Zephaniah 3:17

The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

Proverbs 8:17

I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.

Misconception:  It doesn’t matter.  I don’t matter.  None of this matters.

Fact:  GOD cares for even the sparrow, so much more you.  You were made by HIM and for HIM.  HE has a plan and purpose for your life.

Matthew 6:26-34

Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?  

“So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Matthew 10:29-31

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Misconception:  I’ve failed too many times.  I’ve messed up my life way too much.  I’ve done too many things wrong.

Fact:  Once you’ve believed and trusted JESUS for your salvation for forgiveness of sins, you’re forgiven.  When you still make mistakes, you can confess your sins to HIM and HE is just to forgive you your sins and cleanse you from all unrighteousness.  HE is the GOD of second, third, and many chances…

Luke 18:9-14

The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: “Two men went up to the temple to pray,one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

“But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

“I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Misconception:  I don’t belong.

Fact:  When you come to faith in Christ, you’re a new creation in which the old is gone and the new has come.  You are accepted and adopted into GOD’s family…  You are GOD’s child loved, accepted, and forgiven…

2 Corinthians 5:17-19

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.

Psalm 100:3

Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

1 John 3:1-3

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure.

John 1:12-13

Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God —children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.

Romans 8:15

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”

Misconception:  GOD is to blame.

Fact:  No evil or darkness is in GOD…  HE does not tempt anyone to do wrong.  HE is full of light and truth.  HE is a righteous judge.  HE works all things together for good for those who love HIM and are called according to HIS purpose…

1 John 1:5

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.

James 1:13

When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone;…

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Other Misconceptions:

2.  What is prayer?

Talking to GOD…

Talking to HIM as Savior and Redeemer…

  • who is real, who is the same yesterday, today, and forever,  who gave HIS life in death to save and rescue you, who is risen to life to give you a hope and a future preparing a place for you in Heaven
  • who prays for you to be more than a conqueror and intercedes as your Defense
  • who forgives your sins
  • who is intimately aware of and involved in your weaknesses, sufferings, and pains
  • who leads and guides, feeds and clothes, restores and gives so your cup overflows
  • who gives peace in the midst of any storm and abundant life

Talking to HIM as a best friend…

  • who accepts you as you are
  • who listens attentively
  • who cares for you intimately
  • who shares reassuringly
  • who supports mercifully
  • who responds compassionately

Talking to HIM as a faithful FATHER…

  • who loves purely and sincerely
  • who cherishes time spent with HIS child
  • who is interested in your well-being past, present, and future
  • who desires to protect and provide for your needs
  • who is available and present
  • who encourages, teaches, and disciplines out of divine love

Talking to HIM as the Great Physician…

  • who is able to heal relationship with GOD the FATHER and others
  • who is able to heal sickness
  • who is able to heal the lame, blind, deaf, mute
  • who is able to heal mental illness
  • who is able to heal from being demon-possessed
  • who is able to heal soul and spirit wounds

Look at the link below into the healings performed by JESUS:








Yesterday, today, and forever…




Yahweh in Yeshua




Yes when equally yolked

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3. Real Life Personal Examples of Answered Prayers 

When I was first hospitalized after my suicide attempt, I was in great emotional turmoil and spiritual distress.  My parents came to visit.  I looked at their faces at one point and they looked away and down not knowing how to respond.  I felt more helpless than I already felt and the reality that I may be a lost cause.  Then I felt the oppressing presence of evil come into my room one night.  I thought it was satan himself coming to hurt me or overtake me in my fear.  I prayed and the presence of evil left and I was able to rest.

When I was utterly hopeless there in the hospital, I so desired for a pastor to come minister to me somehow letting me know GOD still cared about me.  None came.  I felt I had been abandoned.  There was a young woman who worked as a Psych tech, I believe, who came over to me one day and she reached out to me.  It was so encouraging and a breath of new life was imparted.  It was as if she was truly an angel sent to give me hope again and to inspire me…

When I was 17, I asked GOD to give me the wife HE wanted me to marry and to be in HIS timing.  I was 27 when I met her.  I wanted to be a Dad and desired to have a girl.  Our first was a girl.  We have 7 children now;  two of which were miscarried and carried to Heaven…

When my wife and I first got married, very soon after I had a total breakdown and was admitted into the hospital for a 2nd time.  While there, I experienced a dark perspective of what it would feel like to be locked up, not be able to get out, and separated from GOD.  I asked for mercy and help once again.  Upon being released, a loving Christian family took my wife and I into their home while I was recovering and out of a job.  It allowed time for me to regain my senses and get a job after several months.  I asked GOD at one point to use me to be HIS hands and feet showing HIS love to others.  I would like to think HE is doing so in and through me throughout my life from when I returned to HIM believing and trusting in HIM until now and continuing to do so…  Once I got a job, we got our own apartment and began life more independent from others help and more dependent on GOD to help us grow and be faithful, diligent, and responsible so as not to be such a burden any longer.  One day I told my wife I’d see her later and that I loved her.  I don’t remember what I was headed to do.  I remember getting onto the highway and after several minutes heard a still small voice say Go Back Home.  It was incessant so I turned around and headed back.  We were on the 3rd floor and as I was walking up the stairs a man with dark hair and taller than me began walking down the stairs.  I remember looking at him and nodding and possibly saying “hey”.  I put the key in the door, unlocked it, and went inside.  My wife met me and told me an angel or the LORD Himself told her not to open the door just prior to my coming in.  Well, she was minutes before about to open the door thinking it was me without a thought otherwise.  When the voice told her not to open the door, she looked through the peep hole and saw a man hunched down shoulder out as if to run inside by force.  There had been reports of sexual assaults in the area and this may have very well been another had GOD not intervened.

When I applied to 3 schools for a teaching position, I asked GOD to open one door.  This would provide for us starting our own family.  One principal called and offered me a teaching job as well as to coach my first year.  Several months prior to this job, I injured my knee tearing my ACL.  I could not afford surgery.  After getting insurance through the school district, I still couldn’t afford a surgery due to it being a pre-existing injury.  I walked in severe pain.  I prayed for GOD to heal it.  I continued to pray day after day.  I didn’t give up even though there was no answer or let up from the excruciating pain.   Then 3/4 into the school year in the spring time,  GOD answered and healed my knee making it completely free of pain.  Much later in my life I looked into getting surgery again and the doctor saw in the MRI my old ACL injury and told me I also have a “bucket holder” meniscus tear.  The cost to have surgery to repair the knee was still too expensive.  (now whenever my knee hurts on occasion, I remember GOD’s mercy and thank HIM -then HE heals my knee from the pain again each time).  After teaching and coaching that first year, my wife and I learned we were going to have our first child.  I stopped coaching (because it required so many hours away from home) and asked GOD to provide for our family.  It wasn’t soon after when one of the teachers, who wrote a grant for an after school reading program, asked me if I would be one of the teachers to implement the program.  Then she decided she didn’t want to coordinate it and asked if I would be the coordinator.  I was able to earn money from teaching after school and get paid for being the coordinator which was more than double I made as a coach.

When living in Florida, we evacuated 3 out of 4 hurricanes in one year that had potential to hit our area.  I asked GOD each time where to go.  HE gave me specific locations to go to that were clear of their effects.

When we had our twins, the hospital bill was a little over $3000 if we could pay it in a few days.  Otherwise it would balloon up to over $30,000.  A pastor from our church came to us in the hospital and gave a check from someone who anonymously gave that paid for the amount needed to pay the bill.

When we participated in Samaritan’s Purse Operation Christmas Shoebox ministry, we asked GOD to send our gifts to where and who HE wanted them to go.  GOD had given me a heart for orphans.  The gifts were received by a pastor in India for his children.  He wanted to continue correspondence and a relationship started.  I learned he took care of orphans and our family ministry to orphans began…

When my youngest daughter was 1, my wife called me one day from work screaming on the other end and then hung up.  I was still a teacher at this time.  I left work and drove toward home.  Inside, I felt it was my daughter and that she had died.  I asked GOD to raise her back to life.  As I approached our home, I heard the sirens.  I knew they were headed to my house.  I beat the ambulance and saw the firetruck.  When I entered in the doorway, I heard my daughter crying.  She was lying on the living room floor with my wife on her knees and firemen crouched around her.  Everyone was looking at her cry.  After several minutes, I asked if I could pick up my daughter.  So I picked her up and she calmed down.  As a precaution I rode with her in the ambulance to the hospital for further evaluation.  I learned that she had a febrile seizure and had stopped breathing and turning blue.  My wife called me screaming, hung up, and then called 911.  The dispatcher calmed my wife down after being hysterical due to my daughter not breathing and told her to put our daughter down laying on her backside.  Upon laying her down, she started breathing and came to.  She had a few more seizures through to the age of 4, but not as severe.  I continued to pray for GOD to take them away and she hasn’t had anymore since.

When one of my twin son’s was taken to the doctor from having a viral infection, it was discovered that it got into the hip joint area near the growth plate.  He was scheduled to have surgery to drain the area and clean it out.  We were told that he may require up to 10 surgeries to continue cleaning it out.  We prayed that he would only need 1 surgery and I continued to pray this during his stay in the hospital.  The doctors monitored his numbers and they were going down which was good.  Then on the 5th or 6th day rose sharply.  I was disheartened, but continued to pray.  The doctors decided to wait one more day.  The next morning the numbers were checked again and they had completely dropped!  He had 2 days of physical therapy and released to go home with no more surgeries needed. When he was in the 3rd grade, this same son was having sharp pains and vomiting, we took him to specialists who found that he needed surgery to repair a portion of the kidney.  We once again prayed and the reconstructive surgery was successful.  There are times he hurts there and we will pray and the pain goes away again.  He has been back to the hospital for checkup and the doctor says he is doing fine.

When I had my 3rd meltdown, I was asked by my wife to admit myself into the hospital.  I reluctantly did so.  (I had been overwhelmed at work and stressed to the max not able to function and diminishing in my ability to even communicate and respond rightly).  Then I had second thoughts and began to doubt it being good for me to do.  I wanted to walk away and believe that I could get better and change on my own.  There was a man who told me my wife needed a break and to go ahead and go.  The ambulance was there to take me to another facility in the nearest city for the one in town was full to capacity.  I attempted to walk away toward our vehicle and I was firmly grasped by my arms and directed into the ambulance.  Off I went, away from my home, my wife, my 5 kids, and my job as a teacher.  This time, GOD worked in my heart to walk more by faith though it was so difficult to do.  I decided that I’d face what I had to face -one of my giants being fear.  I chose not to wallow in self pity or stay stuck in fear that had tormented me on and off in my life.  While I waited for the inevitable of whatever would occur, I reached out to an older lady and an older man there.  The lady used to be a teacher and we talked quite a bit.  It helped me reaching out and not closing myself off altogether.  She was a precious soul.  The older man reminded me of my dad as when he’d be older so I went and sat by him during one of our meal times.  I prayed for him and I prayed for my dad.  I went to the therapy sessions and classes.  I listened mostly and sometimes I’d share.  I began to face my fears at every turn by faith.  I wrote in my journal in quiet times with the LORD.  I was given a medicine that (surprised me) actually worked (after 19 years on and off meds) and I experienced positive clarity and uplifting of my depression.  I was hopeful again.  I missed my family and I wanted to love them better.  I felt more free.  I talked with the doctor and told him the medicine worked and I was doing better.  I asked if I could be released.  He told me no that I needed to stay for awhile longer.  Since I was the one that admitted myself, I might have had the right to discharge. I don’t know for sure.  Awhile later, a lady told me to wait and it would be ok.  With her encouragement I began to rest in GOD’s will of when I’d be released.  All I know is that GOD was working in me and changing me.  My perspective of my relationship with HIM was strengthening.  I actually felt HE was for me and not against me…  When I was finally able to go home, I was overjoyed to see my wife and kids again…

When I went to my 4th hospitalization, I was trusting GOD more in taking steps of faith.  I was responding step by step and turn by turn in faith beyond my understanding.  I was walking in trust that GOD was using me for a purpose and working out good not only for me, but for those I loved and cared for.  I was learning how to lay down my life (my desires and will) to do HIS will whatever HE wanted for me to do.  Again, I wrote during my quiet times with the LORD.  I was reaching out to others in the hospital with desire to encourage, love, and show compassion…  I was learning to intercede for those around me who were struggling and needed GOD to intervene in their lives…  Some way, somehow I feel I faced the giant of fear that GOD helped me deal with effectively and gave HIS grace and mercy to overcome and win against it…  I have more willingness to reach out to others to pray for and show compassion to…  I’m completely different now (at ease, steadfast) and I’m forever changed (trusting, less fearful) willing to lay down my life to love GOD and others…

For me personally, I have asked for prayer for GOD to forgive me, give me a pure heart, and renew a right spirit within me as well as have a sound mind.  HE has answered my prayers and I have been doing well consistently for 3 years now since my last hospitalization.

Thank you GOD for answers to these prayers and so many others!!!…

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Psalm 121

A song of ascents.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.

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4. JESUS Prays for Us Who Are HIS Own

John 17

Jesus Prays to Be Glorified

17 After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed:

“Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you.For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do. And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began.

Jesus Prays for His Disciples

“I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. 10 All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. 11 I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as we are one. 12 While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled.

13 “I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. 14 I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. 15 My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. 16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. 17 Sanctify them by[d] the truth; your word is truth. 18 As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. 19 For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.

Jesus Prays for All Believers

20 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— 23 I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

24 “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.

25 “Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. 26 I have made you[e] known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”

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5. Parameters/Guidelines for Prayer & Examples to Pray from the Bible

Prayer Parameters:

Matthew 6:5-8

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.  And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.  Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

A General Guide to Prayer:

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Prayers to pray from the Bible:

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Matthew 6:9-13

The Lord’s Prayer

“This, then, is how you should pray:

“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
10 your kingdom come,
your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us today our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation,
    but deliver us from the evil one.’

I pray this every morning…

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Ephesians 6:10-18

The Armor of God

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

Every morning I also pray on the armor:  the helmet of salvation, the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith, the sword of the spirit, the belt of truth -buckle it securely around my waist, and the shoes in preparation for the Gospel of peace.

Psalm 51

Prayer of Repentance

For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions,
    and my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
    and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
    and justified when you judge.
Surely I was sinful at birth,
    sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
    you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
    wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
    let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins
    and blot out all my iniquity.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
    so that sinners will turn back to you.
14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
    you who are God my Savior,
    and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 Open my lips, Lord,
    and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
    you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 My sacrifice, O God, is[b] a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart
    you, God, will not despise.

18 May it please you to prosper Zion,
    to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
    in burnt offerings offered whole;
    then bulls will be offered on your altar.

I prayed this often while returning to my first love -my LORD and Savior Jesus Christ…  It has been used greatly in my life…

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Jonah 2:2-9

Jonah was told by GOD to go tell the city of Nineveh to repent of their sins.  Jonah turned and ran away from GOD in the opposite direction.  He got on a boat traveling to another city.  A storm arose and he told the men it was his fault and that they must throw him overboard and the storm would cease.  Jonah was thrown over reluctantly and a whale swallowed him.  It was GOD’s mercy that would sustain Jonah and keep him alive while in the ocean. He prayed for 3 days/nights inside.  Afterward, Jonah was spit out onto dry land and Jonah chose to now obey:

“In my distress I called to the Lord,
and he answered me.
From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help,
and you listened to my cry.

You hurled me into the depths,
into the very heart of the seas,
and the currents swirled about me;
all your waves and breakers
swept over me.

I said, ‘I have been banished
from your sight;
yet I will look again
toward your holy temple.’

The engulfing waters threatened me,
the deep surrounded me;
seaweed was wrapped around my head.

To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you, Lord my God,
brought my life up from the pit.

“When my life was ebbing away,
I remembered you, Lord,
and my prayer rose to you,
to your holy temple.

“Those who cling to worthless idols
turn away from God’s love for them.

But I, with shouts of grateful praise,
will sacrifice to you.
What I have vowed I will make good.
I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the Lord.’”

Maybe you’ve have turned away from GOD and ran the opposite way.

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Daniel 4:33-37

Nebuchadnezzar’s Dream of a Tree and a Return to Sanity

Read all of the story at the link below:

33 Immediately what had been said about Nebuchadnezzar was fulfilled. He was driven away from people and ate grass like the ox. His body was drenched with the dew of heaven until his hair grew like the feathers of an eagle and his nails like the claws of a bird.  

34 At the end of that time, I, Nebuchadnezzar, raised my eyes toward heaven, and my sanity was restored. Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified him who lives forever.

His dominion is an eternal dominion;
    his kingdom endures from generation to generation.
35 All the peoples of the earth
    are regarded as nothing.
He does as he pleases
    with the powers of heaven
    and the peoples of the earth.
No one can hold back his hand
    or say to him: “What have you done?”

36 At the same time that my sanity was restored, my honor and splendor were returned to me for the glory of my kingdom. My advisers and nobles sought me out, and I was restored to my throne and became even greater than before.37 Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble.

This story gave me so much hope that GOD could and would at some point give me back my sanity (to have a sound mind again) if I would only look to HIM, praise HIM, and ask HIM for a sound mind…  HE has answered this very prayer…

Maybe you too have dealt with mental illness and need GOD to restore a sound mind…

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1 Chronicles 4:10

New International Version

The Prayer of Jabez

“Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, ‘Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.’ And God granted his request.”  NIV

another version says:

1 Chronicles 4:10

New King James Version 

10 And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, “Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my [a]territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” So God granted him what he requested.

I have prayed more so the 2nd one.  Both are special and important.

Maybe you desire freedom from pain or desire not to cause pain…  Either one or both are worth praying…
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Some Prayers Paul Prayed for Us

We May Also Pray for Ourselves and Others These Words…

Romans 15:5-6; 13

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Ephesians 1:15-23

Thanksgiving and Prayer

15 For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all God’s people, 16 I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. 17 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. 18 I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, 19 and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength 20 he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, 21 far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every namethat is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. 22 And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, 23 which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

Ephesians 3:14-21

A Prayer for the Ephesians

14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Colossians 1:3-14

Thanksgiving and Prayer

We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you,because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all God’s people— the faith and love that spring from the hope stored up for you in heaven and about which you have already heard in the true message of the gospel that has come to you. In the same way, the gospel is bearing fruit and growing throughout the whole world—just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and truly understood God’s grace. You learned it from Epaphras, our dear fellow servant,[c] who is a faithful minister of Christ on our[d]behalf, and who also told us of your love in the Spirit.

For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives,[e] 10 so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, 11 being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, 12 and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you[f] to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. 13 For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, 14 in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

Do you need prayer?  I will pray for you…  Just let me know…

When you or I do pray we need to remember to tell HIM thanks when HE answers!!…

Start… has a lot of definitions of what it means:  Just reading these may inspire you…

In my acronym, S.T.A.R.T.S. will mean:

 something you do…  

something new you do…

something you continue to do…









I will start to share practical ways, that if put into practice over time, will promote well being in the daily grind and battles that inhabit mental illness…

I will share about that which I myself put into practice and experienced life-changing benefits from…


So much lost

Along the way

At great cost

Failed to obey

To and fro tossed

In the wind and waves

An ocean of emotions cannot make it across

Almost drown as hope deflates

Coping defenses exhaust

Fall under the weight

Stranded in spiritual desert embossed

Stuck in drought of depression’s state

Near to an end or life just paused

What if I look up to Heaven for HIS help only await

Will my need for HIS grace enter despite the outward hurt and inward pain caused

Will HIS mercy and compassion allow me to begin again to relate

Will HIS blood applied gloss over my flaws in the hearing of angel’s echoing applause

Will healing balm my wounds to become scars within HIS own where love equates

JESUS, You redeemed my life from the deepest darkest pit…  I would not have known what unfailing love and mercy was had I given up and quit…

So much gained

Along the way

At great cost

Stronger desire to obey

No longer to and fro tossed

Stand on the Rock unafraid of wind and waves

Familiar with an ocean of emotions to understand;  will help others across

A lifeline I have to give so others won’t drown until hope inflates

With hoping continually… with putting full armor of defenses on daily… and with pure true love offering reassuringly… I will put into practice until many are free from the fears and anxieties that exhaust

Fell under;  yet did I rise above to bear their burdens with HIM supporting the weight

Landed in a spiritual oasis embossed

Lifting me out of the pit, I know HE will lift up those stuck also refilling their cup to overflowing out of depression’s state

HE draws near to whoever draws near to HIM even at their end, until they realize life just paused

Will keep and uphold in prayer until they look up to Heaven for HIS help only await

To experience HIS grace too despite the outward hurt and inward pain caused

Generously extended is HIS mercy and compassion restoring souls again to relate

HIS blood applied gloss over anyone and everyone’s flaws, who believe and trust HIM in the hearing of angel’s echoing applause, never leaving us alone… always and forever to be awed…

Healing I’ve received is returning to balm yours and others wounds as well to become scars within HIS own where unfailing love equates…




Current Events

Posted: June 16, 2018 in suicidal, Suicide
Tags: ,

Cognizant of suicidal reconnaissance

In epidemic proportions crying / shouting resonance

Can occur in crossfires and crossed wires of conscience

Of most recent events

Shove off;  descent prevents

seeing here again their presence

grieving sincere;  broken hearts commence


Suicide’s lateral damages stand against;  an S.O.S. signal up

Family and friends abandoned in the throes laments;  if only shared the dark dismal stuff

What could have been? -gone! -with strong imagination so real now in fragments;  the stark reality rather rebuff

Most won’t reveal a closing cadence or fatalities imminence;  so needed is six sense of mental illness on guard, on standby, on duty inhabiting an abysmal militia



Choose to live on;  forego death sentence despite the mind’s perplexing enigma

Seek help until suicidal ideation relents;  until stand atop the vista

Get counsel and meds while in hopeless pretense;  let go of the stigma


Giving up the battle leaves the rest of us wounded on the battlefield without suggestions. for the many and the few…

Left with less answers more questions.  Just wanting you here anew…

Were there signs in body language given, words had we listened, clues of despairing decisions, or hints in what mentions????  enough to clue in to your mystery to rescue you…

If only a safe person / a secure place was made available so as to not worsen given special space to open up for breakthrough past the apprehensions.  Love to do and hope to renew in being there, being near, being with construe…

If only you didn’t believe the world would be better off without -within life’s tensions.  And suicide statistics no longer grew…

If only you got guidance for healing and hope to grow within mental, emotional, physical, social, and spiritual dimensions.  Bringing you the whole way through…

If only we responded in time intervening early on or “better late than never” run promoting life extensions.  Prove new life can come true…


When you’re ready, you will trust in GOD again… you have that choice, you own that decision only you can make, you have the will to empower trust in HIM whenever you want to practice it…

Trust is a heart and soul thing that grows after you set your mind to begin the endeavor again… You can learn to trust in HIM with moments (like your move to a new place) and choose to trust HIM for healing (like your lifelong journey through trauma/abuse to triumph/astounding) whenever you want… When you fall back to not trusting, from that low point and helpless perspective; you can once again look up in trust to your Heavenly FATHER who gives good gifts and wants to love and care for you… You may choose to trust in moments or a daily decision through prayer (prayer is turning to HIM in trust) and pouring out your heart (through talking to HIM out loud, quietly inside, or writing it out)…

You’re loved and cared for not matter what… You’ll get to know/relearn HIS love and care as you decide to trust when you choose to… I am proud of you when you choose to reach out to those weak in need of love and care… In your weakness, JESUS is strong… Being there for them in being who you are matters and is doing good despite what you may feel or think about yourself… You are showing faith in action; doing GOD’s will in doing HIS Word:

Psalm 41
1 Blessed are those who have regard for the weak;
the Lord delivers them in times of trouble.
2 The Lord protects and preserves them—
they are counted among the blessed in the land—
he does not give them over to the desire of their foes.
3 The Lord sustains them on their sickbed
and restores them from their bed of illness.

verse 1 “regard for the weak”; for me the orphans, for you may be anyone weak you reach out to (orphans, special needs children/adults, homeless, abused and neglected souls, widows/widowers, or elderly)

Focus on these Words above and let it become one of your life verses/life mantra…

These verses helped me hang on, believe and trust, and reach out and one day HE answered these promises in my own life… These awesome Words came true through HIM and through me, for me, and in me… I still cannot fathom the turn-around in my life because of JESUS the Living and active Word bringing this about and GOD the FATHER’s mercy and compassion for me…

Look carefully and choose to believe and trust for these to be your benefits as well:

1) delivers them in times of trouble
2) protects and preserves them / does not give them over to the desire of their foes (who want to steal, kill, or destroy; suicide)
3) restores them from their bed of illness (physically or emotionally or mentally or socially or spiritually; for me all 5)

If HE did it for me; I know HE will do it for you… Why? because HE is true to HIS Word and desires to be faithful in a person’s life
When? in HIS timing; so difficult to wait I know (took years for me) maybe for you quicker than my experience
How? in small and grand ways along the journey; sometimes miraculously
Who? you (for you do have regard for the weak)
Where? inside you

I know I went through what I went through to be a help/support to others weaker… This is ultimately the outcome from what I didn’t think was fair, what I didn’t understand, why I was abandoned, why I was often alone in my trauma and not knowing why GOD wasn’t there bringing me through like I knew HE could; why it wasn’t right a way – yet waited for me to learn mercy and compassion at the core of who I am now… HE took me through the depths of darkness to reach out to anybody now with profound faith, hope, and love… with confidence in HIM and who HE is and what I now know HE can/will do…

Much of my trauma was self-inflicted (so full of guilt and shame) from turning away from GOD in rebellious youthful sin and desires being as lost as one can be. Yet I turned to HIM and HE still answered me… me? why me? why HE didn’t abandon me further? why did HE not leave me in my sin? HIS love is greater than anyone can know or fathom… Now I live to show HIS love I know and continue to attempt to fathom… If I didn’t learn through painful depths to know HIS love, mercy, and compassion; then how would I know HIM as HE is and learn that I could reach those who may be in need… HE will choose and use the weak and unlearned to profound the strong and wise… There is so much darkness and cruelty in this world. HE takes some of us through trauma and darkness so we can be a light that shines in it as HE rescues precious children, men, and women that need HIM… sometimes to reveal what HIS love is through us… We choose to pray for and be there present and intercede for them because we know… we understand… we will stand for them… we will choose to love… we will choose purity… we will love purely… Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see GOD (Matthew 5:8)…

You’re not a failure… You’re more than a conqueror through HIM who gives you strength… When you are weak come to HIM for rest… When you can’t do it anymore, wait on HIM for renewed strength… HE is faithful to HIS Word even when we are not…

Oh and let’s look at Psalm 41 vs. 4

I said, “Have mercy on me, Lord;
heal me, for I have sinned against you.”

What if we have sinned in some way!! Well I asked the LORD for mercy and to heal me of course… And so, HE healed me… me… and you?… you too!!!…

Ok! So you just got the wave from HIS ocean that was building within me to reach the shore of those needing mercy that will also be a blog post for my website that I have been wanting to write on Psalm 41 for a long, long while… I wrote this for you for sure; yet it is also for anyone else needing encouragement as well…

In a world seems so distant

Hurt occurred shatters dreams in an instant

Suicidal thoughts screams persistent

Potential sought to self harm deem not resistant


Takes toll across polar opposites levy one’s mind at war on the battlefield jutting consciousness as a falling sentry

Aches roll loss over heavy on one’s heart torn until broken its seal flooding bawling entry

Forsakes with coldest shoulder frenzy on one’s soul forlorn until battered off keel judging maliciousness sprawling intently

Shakes any cajole off bolder to apprehend one’s spirit mourn belittling to reel trudging hapless stalling empty


Mind hostage to what demeans uncertainty to fret hyper aware

Heart hesitant to trusting HIM with burdens HE’d reset to lighter bear

Soul hampered not feeling to worsen needs unmet tired of self care

Spirit hindered not dealing with as if third person heeds regret; inquire of -won’t share


The enemy repelling seeks to steal, kill, and destroy to replay the past as a decoy

Everything overwhelming; anything may annoy

Suicide seems compelling when nothing okay to enjoy

Tomorrow leaning toward short selling if something today doesn’t provide a positive ploy


JESUS is the gate foretelling; opening to whoever would enter through to be saved with new purpose employ

The Good Shepherd of the sheep, quelling the enemy, came to give life and have it to the full of joy

GOD gives HIS Spirit for encouraging indwelling leading in the way of truth set apart from the world’s alloy

A future and a hope believe promising… propelling a new beginning not an end into Heaven until then obey as love’s choice


Suicidal;;;;;;;; yet don’t follow through to end life…

Only for awhile;;;;;;;; HE will see you through that leads to life…

Tribulations, temptations, trials;;;;;;;; HE brings you through out of the dark into the Light of life…

Will walk the extra mile;;;;;;;; Be an encouragement through compassionate words and merciful actions coming alongside to help in this life…



Suicide apprehend

Drown after harrowing night

Come up for air still alive


Tried;  descend

Down faster narrowing light

Sun up ignore glare will deny


Pride offend

Aground disaster sorrowing plight

Lock up a floor share hospital awry


Wide dead end

Astound last turn loathing fright

One up poor flare shrill cry


Died;  part of me then

Around past discern;  knowing insight

SON up toward care refill my…


Confide rend

Abound cast concern showing contrite

Hung up before dare;  pill apply


Hide defend

Enshroud aghast yearn overflowing ignite

Wrung up, restore, aware, arrive


Alive again

Found amassed per arrows zing aflight

Overcome;  run up more declare until HIS Light shines

I hold onto hope

even if you don’t


My grip won’t let go

even if you’d rather be solo


I pull you back from the edge though

even if your next step was a no show


I speak life of HIM to know

even if you’ve lost all hope


I’ll pray until breakthrough to cope

even if for now you’re broken so low


I’ll stay constant as a constellation’s glow

even if your focus is darkest night forego


I’ll be relentless until you grow

even if love’s effects are slow


My pure purpose is mercy and compassion show

even if you question status quo if only to receive HIS overflow…


One moment

will be

last breath


After it all went

will see

beyond death


May die whenever

will free

and not suffer loss to be rewarded…only if endure to the end however


Into Heaven will live again by the Resurrector

will breathe

in the new with no more pain which is by far better


Won’t take my own life by suicide under pressure

will supersede

over schemes of the oppressor trusting in the Redeemer and Deliverer


Our times are in HIS hands no matter the weather

will agree

of HIS desires to live is Christ and to die is gain whichever


Worth to remember

will need

fan to flame the ember


Rebirth into splendor

will heed

storing above more treasure


Focus eyes upon Savior

will believe

As more than a conqueror


After God’s own heart behavior

will achieve

love for others together


HIS throne boldly enter

will plead

for grace and mercy fill to overflowing beyond measure


Find delight within the epicenter

will lead

until do HIS perfect will going on forever


Daily serve in surrender

will conceive

in humility continue to obey the endeavor


Rely fully on my soul’s Defender

will receive

forgiveness along the way where in HIS greater love nothing can ever sever




How I’ve come this far

Amazed (life returned beyond the aftermath)

If you only knew who I once was

It would utterly astound



How I fought so hard (between true life and fear of God’s wrath)


If you only knew why and the because

It would be almost tragically profound



How I stalled like an abandoned car

Strayed (off the beaten path away from that which leads to life in the fast lane passed)

If you only knew what sin that leads to death does

It would cause you to turn earnestly around



How I looked for help high above the stars

Prayed (all my cares and anxieties upon HIM cast)

If you only knew how much I had to trust

It would foster within you to do the same to stand steady on the Rock of Salvation and walk on solid ground



How I’ve become after faith’s fresh start

Obeyed (for a hope and a future in the LIGHT at last)

If you only knew how HE led me through, up from death’s dust

It would make new mercy every morning be real and true for you too and new hope to abound


You knew me before I was even formed

In my mother’s womb YOU made room

For one more who would believe in YOU

Continued to love me to see me through

My sin I pursued and youthful rebellion onward stormed despite how YOU warned

Into intensity of heat of the world’s intimacy to words on the street

Turned up the degrees of hostility found to be in misery

With my wayward feet fell to the enemy in defeat

Into a deep dark pit fallen asleep almost quit in fear and deceit

Suicidal thoughts unwanted inside my mind accrete; stunned so low that I even think to delete my heartbeat

Stuck in the mud and mire as faith depletes; my only desire to be with YOU greet

Come to Your mercy seat pleading in repentance retreat

To follow inspired entreat to be rewired and made complete

Walking in the land of the living discreet no longer full of conceit

As a hired hand in wounded defeat left humbled, deathly tired, needing YOUR Spirit again to replete

To no longer ever go and repeat where my soul knows shame and guilt spiral downward beat

Brought me out and up upon YOUR shoulder in rescue toward home restoring me again as a son where Life giving Word and Salvation meet

Giving me compassion with mercy and grace freed after my about face and erase my evil as far as east to west no longer trace;  YOUR voice now to heed

New strength indeed awaits my pace in the race with YOUR perfect love to replace fears encased and my inner soul restore to daily feed

Taste and see that the LORD is good; would prove faithful and true making all things new in continual praise all my days letting YOU lead



How do I start to express what is in my heart?  The gravity of certain situations pull on my soul that compels me to plead with God to bring HIS healing touch and to show up in a way they will know they are loved and can find hope, faith, and the love they need to continue to live, to fight, and to expect better for their future.  It’s their right to survive and go beyond to thrive…  Stay alive!  why? because I said so and more than that to know JESUS who will show you greater love…  Stay alive!!  why?  because I know there is a hope and future waiting…  Stay alive!!!…  God loves you, is there present with you even when you don’t see or feel HIM, will help you overcome and fight your battles for you, will never leave nor forsake you, prove you’re not alone, and bring you out of dark into Light…



How do I express I love you to all that I reach out to?  I say “I love you” and mean it which resides deep within from HIS love for me and how HE’s helped me through the darkness that I want you so desperately to know for yourself.  In my heart and mind, they are not weak words, but a great compassion that I’ve been given to which I don’t want to hold back, hide away, nor pretend isn’t there.  I love-love those who have been abused for this love grew within me when God granted me the experiences to work and serve with children and youth in an emergency shelter for over 2 years who were sexually abused, the worse kind of abuse a child can go through.  I lived with them in the home for 4 days of each week helping them through their episodes, their fears at night, their nightmares, and their trust issues.  I was there to greet them in the morning, make them meals, take them to school, help them with homework, take them to special outings, encourage and support them.  This was life changing for me to learn how to love these precious children.  Any of you who have been abused, I have a special love for you and always will…  I have a special love and bond with those I served with who taught me how to love and care in a deeper way, have faith to believe in God to heal, take away nightmares, and bring hope into their hearts and souls and make a way for a brighter future.  At that time, I was learning to be a father figure to those who were not biologically mine.  I have that willingness to adopt anyone needing a loving father to love, care, support, and encourage them in their life who may not have those things evidenced or experiencing now in their life.  Do you need a loving dad?  I will be that for you.  Why?  God has given me a heart for orphans and those abused for this is HIS heart He’s shared with me and put in me to have.  God has given me a heart for those who have mental illness and depression for I too have experienced these struggles and setbacks along the way.  I love you…  God loves you…  I believe the greater your hurt and pain, the greater your compassion to help others will be…  I believe the greater abuse you have experienced, the greater capacity you have to depend on, trust in, and love God more than others ever will…  I believe that you have a hope and a future HE will show you, lead you in, and give to you…

I’m holding on to you… through prayer, through faith, through belief, through the typing of words I hope you know are true…  Will you hold on too!!…  God HIMSELF is holding on to you with HIS mighty right hand lifting you up out of the pit from being stuck and will place you on the Rock of Salvation to stand firm in faith, in belief, in hope, in undying love…  Reach for HIS hand who is trustworthy and faithful to keep you, love you, accept you, heal you, rescue you, and redeem you…  HE will answer you if you ask for help continually…  HE will find you if you seek HIM for HIS help crying out continually…  HE will answer you if you keep knocking on the door and open your heart to HIM continually…  Don’t stop, Don’t give up, Don’t end your precious life…

Change your perspective to that of being or for the first time becoming HIS daughter or son and begin to:

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Let your life find the freedom you are yearning for and desire to have by continuing to live on…  There is great reward on the other side of the pain, hurt, sadness, illness;…

I am not ashamed to say “I love you” to those in need of it the most…  You are who I am called and chosen to love…

When you feel yourself so far away, call out to HIM…



If you need help, get help.  You can also call me if you want and I’ll be there for you and listen.  806-781-0810

If you feel lost, afraid, broken, unable to fight, HE is there for you to hold you and carry you…



Always praying…  Always believing…  Always waiting…  Always protecting…  Always trusting… Always hoping… Always persevering… Always loving… for you…  even when you feel you can’t…

Try again with JESUS by your side forevermore…



More than HE may relieve


More than the enemy attempts to deceive


More than HE gives to receive


More than you choose to leave


More than you have had to grieve


More than you can conceive


More than HE has thus far chosen in your life to weave


More than you achieve


More than HE has granted reprieve

If I were the rain

I’d wash away the pain

I’d refill your cup with Living Water to sustain

I’d take on your sadness to add to mine to drain away from your soul for new growth to gain and for happiness to maintain until full joy can remain


If I were the snow

I’d remind you of forgiveness, whiter inside, to know

I’d cover over your focused on faults and fears so you would continue to grow

I’d melt away the negative thoughts that onward into a hope and a future you’d go


If I were the sky

I’d have the clouds say I love you as they pass by

I’d be your hope in endless blue so you’d never have to cry

I’d hold your desires in full view, not to wonder why they don’t come true, until you rise above to grasp them from on high


If I were a mountain tall

I’d be the steps to reach the sky for your desires to be more easily and quickly reached, for you not to think impossible, moving gradually upward so you wouldn’t fall

I’d send from above, into your valley whenever you’re stuck, to look again above with a life giving echoing call

I’d stand strong and secure as a place you can always return for comfort never left in suicidal disarray to nervously and hesitantly stall


If I were the sun

I’d send my light to the deepest part of your spirit inside to feel acceptance never to shun

I’d light the path to make clear your purpose and vision for which to run

I’d supply the warmth of faith to fill you inside to keep going until you’ve won the race and hear well done


If I were the moon

I’d reflect a brighter smile all the while so you knew you brought me joy in the day before lying down in safety’s sleeping soon

I’d reflect the flip side angry face that scares away the evil no longer to be traced, to slow down one’s pace, to not feel you have to act in haste or that life’s a waste, never to feel any doom

I’d reflect comforting soft light preparing you for the next day with grace’s refueling boon


If I were the stars

I’d sparkle in such a way to connect the dots making sense of who you are

I’d show you’re nearer to God and others never alone or subpar; guiding your eyes to look above so you’re no longer hiding or straying away into darkness so far away into what the world mars

I’d remind you always of knowing your place in the universe despite the scars


If I were the ocean

I’d send into your heart mercy and compassion foregoing the commotion

I’d send wave after wave of healing for your soul to restore in never ending motion

I’d send you treasures from deep within onto your shoreline just because you’re loved and valuable to remind you of the eternal notion


If I were a river

I’d flow into your heart peace that will rescue and from all fears deliver

I’d flow inside your heart as the wondrous dream come true giver

I’d flow alongside your life so you’d never feel alone or quiver


If I were a lake

I’d surround you with peace whenever you needed a break

I’d let you let go of the stress like rocks thrown and skipped across what you can no longer take

I’d be there to see your reflection to bounce back hope come awake beyond the heartache


If I were me

I’d write in such a way you’d see into love’s mystery

I’d say the right words that made a positive difference in you for eternity

I’d be there for you encouraging and supporting you no matter your history


If you believed

you’d get more than you can think, ask, or imagine to receive

you’d live life letting go of suicidal ideation for the greater miracle you still will be

you’d no longer give in to the lies that deceive; living in and with a love greater than you can now conceive


If only you…

If only…



If is not the end…

What if it’s a new beginning…

I’d cheer you on…





What’s your mental illness?

Find HIM in the stillness

Draw near and HE draws near to bless

with willingness…

if you ask… -to give relief from grief and break chains that have you bound from outward stress

if you seek… -to find refreshing from fears threshing all around distress

if you knock… -to open the door to restore from agitations that drown and inward press

HE will soon provide your soul’s needed rest

To persevere in prayer for healing from anxieties that oppress

To make it up and out, through to the other side of darkness

To find hope and purpose arise from under life’s duress

Within HIS reach is peace of a sound mind to once again possess

Within HIS reach is peace of a pure heart to once again find more love rather than less and less

Within HIS reach is peace of a restored soul to once again enter into the light of the living acquiesce

Within HIS reach is a peace of a free spirit to once again soar from the nest awaiting Heaven’s address

So delight yourself in the LORD holding onto HIS rope of 3 chord strand not easily broken to stay out of that prison that arrests

For more of HIM move toward with trusting openness

HE will give the desires of your heart as a reward in being HIS invited guest becoming a part of HIS family into relational oneness with adoption’s kindness

You’re more than a conqueror in Christ whose blood for you outpoured for all of who you are with all your mess, a valuable treasure, HE did purchase

You’re worth not giving up on so wait on the LORD and implore for HIS help in your depression, press on…  press on…  no longer suppress what you want and need to express and confess;  all of you HE accepts

For HIM to renew strength on HIS eagle’s wings to soar above the darkness to bring HIS Light and Love to those below with HIS Presence offering that same forgiveness, acceptance, and healing’s essence

Hear HIS mighty roar resonance remembering HE fights your battles in the war uplifting you out of death’s sentence