Archive for the ‘regrets’ Category

I remember memories that replay yesterday and wonder why

I remember memories that sway back and forth today and sigh

I remember memories that delay like deja vu arrayed in the future reapplied

I remember memories of mistakes and failures made causing pain I’d rather hide

I remember memories held at bay I’d rather not say went awry

I remember memories once afraid no longer make me prey in the night

I remember memories laid bare so much stronger that I pray won’t be how I die

I remember memories of hell’s visit down the broadway with sin’s choice for entrance prefaced I’d preferably decide to contrive and be deprived

I remember memories like shade in the hottest summer to evade under a tree think twice about while I reside with the littlest faith arise

I remember memories where I strayed until found by the ONE I betrayed now unto will abide with hope to enter HIS arms in Heaven arrive

I remember memories of fear weighed heavily upon this casualty of war that love conveyed in order for it to disappear and heal me inside

I remember memories that slay my pride to display the humility I now allow to guide

I remember memories that give way to HIS grace now to follow as I soar above the storm on the heights by HIS Spirit not by might

I remember memories that trade my punishment with HIS mercy instead that covers me always new every morning to find supplied as I remain contrite

I remember memories that pervade of HIS compassion embraced that erased the oppression and loneliness while it trained me to comfort others with a depth of understanding comprised

I remember memories where HIS truth sustained and prayers uplifted with thanks maintained a peace that surpassed all understanding guarding my heart and mind in JESUS Christ

I remember memories spent alone with HIM that I can now say will remain as I’ve been taught HIS Word to obey where I’ve been tried as gold refined, where I’ve been aligned to HIS will defined, and where I’ve dined with HIM to always remind me I’m HIS and HE is mine for all time…

Mistakes that I had made

Low self-esteem, empty, ashamed

No identity yet, solo, afraid

High school, one date came, I’m to blame

Still recognize her face and remember her name

Monday came; she stood there waiting, locked gaze in suspended time, then walked away because I couldn’t respond as if in a daze

I pray she knows HIS love all her days…

~

Mistakes I dare to share

Open up not sure she’d even care

Return the favor listening, revealing all unaware

College, first relationship, burdens to bear

Found solace for a short time so rare

She had to leave across the sea and I let go too scared

I pray she finds HIM suddenly out of no where

~

Mistakes I regret

Awkward, unsure, how to interpret

Searching for identity unkept

College, second relationship, just met

A whirlwind transpires;  I easily make her upset

She gave it one last chance;  I hurt her heart and can’t forget

I pray she experiences HIS joy each day on reset

~

Mistakes of getting too close without commitment

Except our faith in GOD, we’d abstain from being intimate

Taking a chance after my suicide attempt and mental illness onset

Singles group in church, third relationship, her a divorcee with a daughter, could we reinvent

GOD would make it clear we weren’t meant to be in marriage represent

She was saddened, but moved on to start her own family circumvent

I pray she always has HIS encouragement and a love for HIM that’s fervent

~

Through all my mistakes I came to find HIM anew

My refocus in relationship with HIM intertwined with her and grew

Drawn together as we served HIS children in love’s purpose pure and true

Times well spent with each other set in motion HIS will to pursue

It is evident we were meant to be a family within HIS faith, hope, and love through and through

She has fought to win battles with the enemy as revealed by scars and wounds

She has fought to win battles for me in the midst of my darkest hours now removed

She has fought to win battles for herself of declined health faithful to be there for our children proved

I pray she feels HIS love through me continually, reveals HIS love through our children repeatedly, conceals within HIS love fully to share assuredly, and kneels with me in awe of what the LORD has done mercifully in Heaven one day and then walk together as best friends for all eternity…

After reading Matthew Malin’s post Severing the Chains of Regret:  Is it Possible?, it reminded me of times in my own life dealing with regrets and prompted within me a desire to shed more light on the subject…

Before I do, I will also share in one of many regrets of an attempt to impress a young girl as a middle school teenager.  I was riding my 10 speed bike and peddled as fast as I could by her as she watched from upon my porch.  I realize at the last second upon reaching the  6″ curb that I must brake = I flipped completely head over heels with bike following in tow over me into a heap as I landed hard on my back.  Yah, so much for that stunt.  I wonder what she thought about it?

And one more for good measure is my first date as a 17 year old taking a girl to a movie.  I have no recollection of what the feature show was called or what it was about. But what I do remember is taking her home, getting out of the car, gently placing both of my hands on the sides of her face, and the good intention of giving her a kiss on her forehead out of respect before saying good night.  However, she looked up to kiss me and I kissed her nose.  Yep!?  I attempted once more and the same result occurred.  Nope!  Not doing that again.  The next day looking at the doorway (as I sat in my seat in an empty classroom awaiting for its start) there she appeared and stood waiting for me as if she still cared for me.  Try as I might have wanted to -regret and embarrassment took over and I didn’t move let alone respond.  After a few minutes, she turned and walked away.  Needless to say, it was the first and last date I had in high school.

How to Respond to Our Regrets

I wholeheartedly agree with Matthew’s take on regrets (author of Confessions), that it factors into everyone’s life at some point if live long enough to deal with it, lose from it, fail in it, and have to face it. And he is right that JESUS is the answer…

HE is the answer to our dilemma of regret (past actions of our own doing or performed against us by others, present guilt or shame, and future handling of its weight:

  • pressing upon us
  • repressing within us
  • suppressing all positive forward response from us
  • and/or oppressing over every facet of our lives

 

We may not forget our regrets, yet we may still be forgiven, experience breakthroughs,  and thus find freedom to finally move forward into further maturity…

JESUS forgives to rescue our lives, forgives to restore our lives, and forgives to redeem our lives…

Peter experienced a rescue from JESUS when he came to believe and trust in HIM while following HIM.

Peter experienced a restoration after failing in faithfulness to JESUS (forsaking HIM 3 times) in moments of anxiety, confusion, fear, darkness, and weakness -yet gaining a deeper level of forgiveness after JESUS returned to him to continue the relationship with HIS faithfulness, HIS hope filled reunion, and HIS perfect love given.

Peter experienced a redemption when given the renewed responsibility to spread the Good News of salvation ordained by JESUS knowing HE had risen from the dead and still loved and valued him beyond the failures and regrets of guilt and shame he had harbored…

Our first and foremost response is to turn to HIM for forgiveness:

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.  John 3:16-17

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.  1 John 1:9

HE forgives to rescue:

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  Romans 10:9

For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. Romans 10:10

As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” Romans 10:11

For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile–the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Romans 10:12-13

HE forgives to restore:

Do not remember the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you, LORD, are good.  Psalm 25:7

“Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.  Isaiah 54:4

HE forgives to redeem:

For the Lord GOD helps Me, Therefore, I am not disgraced; Therefore, I have set My face like flint, And I know that I will not be ashamed.  Isaiah 50:7

Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.  Psalm 34:5

And so, I share this because HE is real; HE is faithful to respond and rescue when turning to HIM by grace through faith; HE is able and willing to restore hope to anyone’s soul through mercy and compassion; HE fully redeems anyone’s life changing the whole trajectory of one’s path onto the straight and narrow with HIS Light and encouraging Word and over time casting out fears with HIS perfect love that never fails…

With HIS forgiveness in being rescued, restored, and redeemed we may become inspired and motivated to tell others about what we’ve:

  • discovered to be the Way out of darkness and regret
  • found to be the Truth toward walking in HIS Light and back into the land of the living after each regret
  • experienced to be the new Life granted with purpose and with vision beyond any and all regrets

 

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “BUT THE RIGHTEOUS man SHALL LIVE BY FAITH.” Romans 1:16-17

With forgiveness, all of us may continue to keep fighting and overcoming…

As you sit here after reading this, JESUS stands at the door of your heart and knocks.  Will you respond?  Regrets and/or embarrassment doesn’t have to keep you immovable like in a chair in an empty classroom as an awkward and lonely teenager nor keep you from the greatest gift of HIS unfailing love and forgiveness that may be yours for simply turning to HIM and asking for it.  HE doesn’t walk away, but is waiting for you still -here… now…

For he says, “In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you.” I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation. 2 Corinthians 6:2

HIS forgiveness is HIS key to our hearts:

  • with faith in HIM as our response to know
  • with hope toward HIM as our realization to grow
  • with love from HIM as our reward and to do unto others owe…
  • with HIS Word as our reason into others sow…
  • with HIS Living Water refilling our cups as a reservoir to overflow into channels of HIS grace, mercy, and compassion to show…

 

I reblogged the following post from Matthew Malin, the author of Confessions.

 

I’ve made a few terrible mistakes in my short twenty-seven years. A serious understatement. It’s possible that I could begin an article series that walks through every horrible decision I’ve made and still have enough content to keep me busy, and you laughing, for years.

Like the one time I decided it would be a good idea to hop the baseball fence in an effort to impress one of the softball girls I was crushing on. I was playing Baseball as a Sophomore in high school.The cool thing to do back then was, well, act cool. I remember leaving my gloves on the other side of the fence “accidentally.” I figured this was a great moment to showcase my athletic ability. It just so happened that the entire softball team was running right past the spot I was going to jump over.

Perfect!

I took off in a dead sprint…

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