Yet

 

Salvation believed

Inspiration received

Adoration achieved

Emancipation relieved

Captivation conceived

 

I may be quiet

Yet 

My mind is thinking of You and all that is Thine

 

I may be silent

Yet

My heart is beating for and with You together to dine

 

I may be resting

Yet

My body is needing Your touch so kind

 

I may be calm

Yet

My soul is yearning for You to restore all that is mine

 

I may be tranquil

Yet

My spirit is awaiting for You to refill within that I may shine

 

I may be of few words

Yet

I can’t thank You enough from deep inside

 

I may be very tired

Yet

I come to You for You within to reside

 

I may not be meditating on Your words often

Yet 

I want to hide them in my heart to always abide

 

I may be depressed

Yet

I continue on in faith, hope, and love so above it again will I rise

 

I may not have that look of joy

Yet

I have Your peace surpassing all understanding guarding my heart and mind

 

I may rarely laugh

Yet

I am serious with prayer and fighting for our family and others each night

 

I may not see You with my eyes

Yet

I believe by faith to please You with hope to no longer deny and love even when life goes awry

 

I may have questions

Yet

I trust You even if I never get answers to why

 

I may still have anxiety and fear at times

Yet

I will walk humbly, seek justice, and love mercy laying down pride

 

I may still await dreams to come true

Yet 

I will let the outcomes that from Your hands in Your plans will decide

 

I may wander some though wiser

Yet

I will learn to walk with You beside

 

I may not like Your discipline in my life

Yet

I discern You love me and I must die to self as You lead and guide

 

I may be weak

Yet

You are my strength and in You I find a Refuge in which to hide

 

I may think too much of past failure

Yet

I will do my best to forget what is behind, press on to run so as to win the prize, continue to fight the good fight with grace and mercy supplied

 

I may not be where I need to be at midlife

Yet

I will learn to do right with Your Word in me applied

 

I may not always be pleasing in Your sight

Yet

I have come so far by Your power and love at work in me comprised

 

I may not have many friends

Yet

I know in You I can always come to confide

 

I may not have overcome to be more than a conqueror

Yet

I will fix my eyes on You until I have arrived in Your arms open wide

 

I may not be mature

Yet

I trust You that I will come forth as gold tried and purified

 

I may not be ready to take on more with ministry

Yet 

I wait on You to work within me continually until qualified

 

I may have stumbled more numerous than I’d like to admit

Yet

I have always turned back to You, called on Your name, and on You alone relied

 

I may have come close to a tragic end

Yet

I have known Your miracle and healing ways that have surprised

 

I may have to go through another episode I really don’t want to face

Yet

I have come to know You are faithful to respond to my cries until it will subside

 

I may have enemies that for my hurt and end have come against

Yet

I know GOD works it all for my good despite how they may undermine

 

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How

How can

An answer to YOUR call

Turn to pride before a fall

As confidence in YOU

Turns to breaking me in two

With strength and no fear

Turns to fear again so near

Full of the Spirit in sweet release

Turns to anxieties that increase

YOUR armor all around as a protective hedge

Turns to my life teetering on the edge

By faith moving forward

Turns to relapse stepping backward

In YOUR perfect love secure

Turns to depression stuck and insecure

 

How can

I return to answer YOUR call

Turn and submit to purposely fall

Face down yielding my life to YOU anew

Turn in brokenness to YOU be true

My strength (not my own) rests in YOU to bring breakthrough beyond the fear

Turn to acknowledge (not anything I’ve done) that YOU have brought me this far as I draw near

Refreshed in the Spirit freed from fear; returns (the surpassing all understanding) peace

Turn to give you thanks (Your compassion is beyond understanding) for a renewed life’s lease

Continue to put on YOUR armor as a protective privilege

Turn to surrender all my life to honor, glorify, and praise YOU my pledge

By faith in humility and understanding move forward

Turn to remember HIS grace in my walk and to love HIS mercy when feeling backward

In YOUR perfect love again secure

Turn to YOU daily, deny myself, and carry my cross to be pure

Full Circle

Had I been left astray

Alone and afraid

Had YOU not heard me pray

Darkness amplified no more day

My own life betrayed

Enemy to my life would slay

Listening to his never-ending tirade

Fiery darts and arrows air raid

Target my heart penetrate and mind dazed

Barrage my soul beyond disarray

Wound my spirit beyond dismay

Pain with no end and no delay

No longer chosen to be saved

Exist until an early grave

Torment and fear downward pave

In hell make my bed no sleep ever lay

All for naught, yet then even still YOU made a way

Suffering for a time in the fray

Not last long in the grand scheme outplay

Forgiveness given no longer have to pay

Consequences not worth it’s fools gold to pay

Discipline YOU gave set free from sin enslaved

My life remade from Living Water as is applied to this clay

Rebuild until useful in YOUR hands beyond the gray

Out of the dark into YOUR Light with new focus concentrate

Toward YOUR mercy, grace, compassion and love never trade

For all the riches of the world wouldn’t ever outweigh

Deliverance forever that came to stay

Desire grows to live now for the ONE who saves to obey

Will share from brink of tragedy to freedom’s reality convey

Make known HIS unfailing love walk in and fathom within portray

Remember that for a future and a hope HIS blood shed for me and you paid

Remind of Heaven to come; rest until then in HIS shadow of shade

Relate with you who read this about suicide forbidding, forbid, forbade

Rather point to the ONE who saves, prays, and makes a way always

Stuck thinking that you are alone and feeling afraid

Here for you to support and encourage if lost and astray

Come full circle reaching for you to draw you in to unending love today

 

 

Passerby

I found this song after I wrote the poem below:

 

Just a passerby

Had I known why

You cry in the night

A pause in my day light

I’d stand beside

Walk with you in the fight

Lead you to hold HIS hand tight

Healing to be found despite the fright

 

Just a passerby

Had I any insight

You stuck in wrongs plight

A pause for prayer to make right

I’d help you understand forgiveness as snow pure white

Standing to intercede with High Priest from Heaven’s height

Lead you to find freedom inside

Healing to be found no longer to hide

 

Just a passerby

Had no one took the time for me nearby

I was unable to fly away into open sky

A pause finds depression stuck in negative thoughts gone awry

You’d have said or thought there’s no hope if I’d confide

Crawling toward silence in my demise wandering into darkness of suicide

Lead me to remember in whom I can confide

Healing to be found where my haunting fears subside

 

Just a passerby

Had You given up on me?  All Your help deny??

I called on You in faith lost and alone despite

A pause with broken spirit heart contrite

You’d answer my prayer to rescue and not despise

Carrying me upon Your shoulder home after finding me leaving ninety-nine

Lead me to safe green pasture… in You I begin to delight

Healing to be found restoring my soul into new life until my spirit reignite no longer on my own left behind to die

 

Mercy

When you’re ready, you will trust in GOD again… you have that choice, you own that decision only you can make, you have the will to empower trust in HIM whenever you want to practice it…

Trust is a heart and soul thing that grows after you set your mind to begin the endeavor again… You can learn to trust in HIM with moments (like your move to a new place) and choose to trust HIM for healing (like your lifelong journey through trauma/abuse to triumph/astounding) whenever you want… When you fall back to not trusting, from that low point and helpless perspective; you can once again look up in trust to your Heavenly FATHER who gives good gifts and wants to love and care for you… You may choose to trust in moments or a daily decision through prayer (prayer is turning to HIM in trust) and pouring out your heart (through talking to HIM out loud, quietly inside, or writing it out)…

You’re loved and cared for not matter what… You’ll get to know/relearn HIS love and care as you decide to trust when you choose to… I am proud of you when you choose to reach out to those weak in need of love and care… In your weakness, JESUS is strong… Being there for them in being who you are matters and is doing good despite what you may feel or think about yourself… You are showing faith in action; doing GOD’s will in doing HIS Word:

Psalm 41
1 Blessed are those who have regard for the weak;
the Lord delivers them in times of trouble.
2 The Lord protects and preserves them—
they are counted among the blessed in the land—
he does not give them over to the desire of their foes.
3 The Lord sustains them on their sickbed
and restores them from their bed of illness.

verse 1 “regard for the weak”; for me the orphans, for you may be anyone weak you reach out to (orphans, special needs children/adults, homeless, abused and neglected souls, widows/widowers, or elderly)

Focus on these Words above and let it become one of your life verses/life mantra…

These verses helped me hang on, believe and trust, and reach out and one day HE answered these promises in my own life… These awesome Words came true through HIM and through me, for me, and in me… I still cannot fathom the turn-around in my life because of JESUS the Living and active Word bringing this about and GOD the FATHER’s mercy and compassion for me…

Look carefully and choose to believe and trust for these to be your benefits as well:

1) delivers them in times of trouble
2) protects and preserves them / does not give them over to the desire of their foes (who want to steal, kill, or destroy; suicide)
3) restores them from their bed of illness (physically or emotionally or mentally or socially or spiritually; for me all 5)

If HE did it for me; I know HE will do it for you… Why? because HE is true to HIS Word and desires to be faithful in a person’s life
When? in HIS timing; so difficult to wait I know (took years for me) maybe for you quicker than my experience
How? in small and grand ways along the journey; sometimes miraculously
Who? you (for you do have regard for the weak)
Where? inside you

I know I went through what I went through to be a help/support to others weaker… This is ultimately the outcome from what I didn’t think was fair, what I didn’t understand, why I was abandoned, why I was often alone in my trauma and not knowing why GOD wasn’t there bringing me through like I knew HE could; why it wasn’t right a way – yet waited for me to learn mercy and compassion at the core of who I am now… HE took me through the depths of darkness to reach out to anybody now with profound faith, hope, and love… with confidence in HIM and who HE is and what I now know HE can/will do…

Much of my trauma was self-inflicted (so full of guilt and shame) from turning away from GOD in rebellious youthful sin and desires being as lost as one can be. Yet I turned to HIM and HE still answered me… me? why me? why HE didn’t abandon me further? why did HE not leave me in my sin? HIS love is greater than anyone can know or fathom… Now I live to show HIS love I know and continue to attempt to fathom… If I didn’t learn through painful depths to know HIS love, mercy, and compassion; then how would I know HIM as HE is and learn that I could reach those who may be in need… HE will choose and use the weak and unlearned to profound the strong and wise… There is so much darkness and cruelty in this world. HE takes some of us through trauma and darkness so we can be a light that shines in it as HE rescues precious children, men, and women that need HIM… sometimes to reveal what HIS love is through us… We choose to pray for and be there present and intercede for them because we know… we understand… we will stand for them… we will choose to love… we will choose purity… we will love purely… Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see GOD (Matthew 5:8)…

You’re not a failure… You’re more than a conqueror through HIM who gives you strength… When you are weak come to HIM for rest… When you can’t do it anymore, wait on HIM for renewed strength… HE is faithful to HIS Word even when we are not…

Oh and let’s look at Psalm 41 vs. 4

I said, “Have mercy on me, Lord;
heal me, for I have sinned against you.”

What if we have sinned in some way!! Well I asked the LORD for mercy and to heal me of course… And so, HE healed me… me… and you?… you too!!!…

Ok! So you just got the wave from HIS ocean that was building within me to reach the shore of those needing mercy that will also be a blog post for my website that I have been wanting to write on Psalm 41 for a long, long while… I wrote this for you for sure; yet it is also for anyone else needing encouragement as well…

Feelings Fade to Who Remains

Feelings can only pick you up so much

Feelings that belittle can bring you down

Feelings come and go like coughs and hiccups

Feelings run amok or ebb and flow with undercurrent to drown

Feelings may overthrow until all you are is stuck

Feelings you only know will linger near or far to smile or to frown

Feelings will too soon betray, empty, and never fill your cup

Feelings will fight deep within leaving you wounded on the battleground

 

How will you show resistance to the enemy bent on killing and stealing

How will you get your deep need within for healing

How will you find an ever present help and a strong refuge never leaving from all that harms concealing

How will you be lifted from the pit of darkness that will grip you back into Light revealing

How will you grow in trust without ever kneeling

How will you go on in hope when your whole being is reeling

How will you overflow in faith to cope without the Holy Spirit sealing

How will you sow in love as 3 chord strand of rope appealing

 

JESUS is the only One who upon this Rock will pick you up

JESUS will lift your countenance bringing Heaven down

JESUS is a constant Refuge who never leaves nor forsakes when in a rut

JESUS runs to catch you amongst the waves so as not to fully drown

JESUS lifts you up from the mud and mire or deep pit with HIS mighty righteous right hand no longer to be stuck

JESUS knows you better than yourself so delight in HIM that joy may abound

JESUS, when you continually come to HIM, will eventually refill your cups

JESUS will give you HIS residing peace healing your wounds to run again in the race until in HIS arms you’re found

 

 

Dreams Come True

Dreams come true

When I’m with You

Love enters;  taken up in a new song -all is forgiven of wrong

Mercy centers;  awakens with the dawn -all fears within gone

Grace mentors;  forsaken not, unto Your will now drawn -I’ll follow along

 

Dreams come true

Awaiting strength to renew

Love abides;  in fields of green when reeling to lie down in rest

Mercy hides;  shields while healing what would oppress

Grace provides;  wields away enemies when dealing with trials and tests

 

Dreams come true

Delighting in the Truth

Love finds all that your heart desires to be

Mercy reminds all that your mind aspires to see

Grace shines on all that your soul inspires to free