This poem is from my new post Stand at beavoicefororphans (my other blog that you may or may not follow) that you can read in full. We take a stand against sexual violence…
Hidden for only you child hurting for healing to find will find; entering within faith, hope, and love so kind
Quicken for only you child to receive grace, mercy, and compassion combined to bind together with miracles designed to remind of HIS greater Love to you inclined…
Forbidden is sex abuse, incest, pornography, sex trafficking, rape defined
Ridden by GOD Almighty of abusers, incest perpetrators, pornographers, traffickers, and rapists confined
Stricken by GOD Almighty with HIS HOLY terror, PURE fury, All POWERFUL attack, STRONG DEFENSE infiltrate, and WARRIOR FIGHT against these sinners in the hands of an angry GOD quarantined in agony resigned
Light posts
At the start
At the end
Turn on shine
As night fall
Inspire most
Love impart
To you send
Burn within entwine
For insight call
Where darkness pervades all around
Stay where the Light cascades until found
Until sun’s rays fades the black
Dawn of a new day lays foundation back
Come home
From above chart
Course to mend
Time to unwind
Be contrite stall
Rest alone
Retune one’s heart
With Him to tend
Soul He does find
To dine with your all
Where darkness pervades all around
Stay where the Light cascades until abound
Until sun’s rays fades the black
Dawn of a new day lays foundation on track
Alive; atone
Near now from afar
Healing begin open
No longer left behind
Builds up aright Refuge walls
Arrive; shown
Promised land correlate your star
Defeat enemies who contend; always will HE defend
Made stronger in HIS will aligned
Guides through breakthrough fight the good fight past what appalls
Where darkness pervades all around
Stay where the Light cascades be still in HIS renown
Until sun’s rays fades the black
Dawn of a new day lays foundation in covenant contact
I know Alone, and realized I wasn’t the only one who knew alone.
Many are alone who know Alone or have come to know Alone.
Realizing you’re not the only one who knows Alone is somehow comforting when you’re alone.
I am not alone anymore, yet I find a friend with those who know Alone for Alone once was so close to me I didn’t know otherwise.
If you know Alone and need a friend, I accept you as one of my friends… You’re no longer alone… I will believe you… I will believe in you… I will receive you… I will perceive how Alone has made you, changed you, hurt you, scared you… I will conceive how Alone makes your worldview, your inner view, your suicidal view…
I am made somewhat of Alone, changed somehow by Alone, hurt deeply by Alone, and feared once with Alone… However, I am not Alone… I never was… But I was in utmost darkness alone. Alone tried to take me under and almost succeeded;
Alone came alongside me while I was alone and joined me with it… until all I felt was what Alone felt, what Alone thought, what Alone only knew… I learned Alone’s secrets… Alone was only bringing me down to the lowest it only feels, it only thinks, it only knows… Spiraling down into darkness more and more and more… Alone feels darkness, thinks darkness, knows darkness to depths you never knew before… Alone reveals darkness beyond all darkness… Hope is lost with Alone… Hope disappears when alone with Alone… Hope is beyond one’s reach when Alone takes you under unwillingly… Alone makes its home in you… until you can’t stand Alone being anymore alone… Alone can make you lose your mind, lose your heart, lose your soul, lose your spirit, and alone with Alone can cause you to lose your life…
Alone doesn’t realize Faith comes to life in darkness… And I knew of Faith… I didn’t know Faith, like really know, yet it called for me to take a chance on, to take a hold of, to realize Faith was the only way to get out of this deep dark pit – ravaged, bombarded, pounded, emptied, fear laden with and by Alone… tormenting me alone from Alone… Something had to give…
Have Faith or die alone… overtaken by Alone.
Faith began to build me up as a real possibility… Faith started to turn my heart, soul, mind, and spirit to the Author of my Faith… the Healer and Restorer of my heart…. the Savior and Defender of my soul… the Perfecter and Renewer of my mind… the Redeemer and Uplifter of my spirit…
Faith reunited me with Hope… Faith made me realize Hope was not lost… Hope had not disappeared… Hope was surely within reach again…
Faith and Hope can sometimes be overshadowed by Alone, but can never be wiped out by Alone… Alone tries to hide this reality… Faith and Hope are of the LIGHT that Alone in the darkness hates to be seen… Alone will mask it with others rejections of, turn those alone inward into their own darkness, or turn those alone around to not see even glimpses of Faith and Hope at one’s disposal that are found when called upon to operate and begin to shine brighter providing the way out of any darkened pit…
Faith and Hope together introduced me to LOVE…
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails…
LOVE never fails, but I didn’t know that yet… LOVE keeps Faith and Hope together within and encompassed around me… LOVE works from the depths of itself, the depths of Faith, and the depths of Hope to be forever united as One in me… Alone couldn’t fully have me anymore… After being introduced to Faith, Hope, and LOVE in the deepest of despair and despondency – I was forever found in new life… changed with the appearance by the 3 that will always remain: Faith, Hope, and LOVE… and Alone may be in reach at any given time, yet I am always taken hold of by Faith, Hope, and LOVE…
I know LOVE so much more now that I believe, receive, perceive, conceive and am relieved by HIM that nothing can chase me away to the darkness alone with just Alone… Yes, I may face being with Alone again, but I will always have Faith, Hope, and LOVE to accompany me from this time forth into forevermore…
So if you get to know me, you won’t be alone with Alone only… I bring with me Faith, Hope, and LOVE so you get to know them too!!… And I know that I know you’ll soon, at some point, embrace these 3 that will always remain for you as well… Faith, Hope, and LOVE like to meet and greet, defeat darkness, release from fears, and bring you up from beneath the heavy weight of the world, sin, and brokenness you feel… May you, like me, be established, rooted, and grounded in HIS LOVE for Faith, Hope, and LOVE to remain in you for all eternity…
What if you resist when Faith, Hope, and LOVE want to make an appearance to let you know Alone isn’t all there is to this life… Alone will remain with you alone… That to me is not acceptable. That to me is unthinkable. That to me is unfathomable… Being alone with Alone is not a way to live your life.
Having Faith, Hope, and LOVE always, with Alone sometimes, is much more foreseeable, doable, reachable, and conquerable… Faith, Hope, and LOVE promise to get you who you’ve always desired to be, what you’ve always cared to be about, and beyond where you’ve ever dreamed of going if you’ll only welcome the 3 that will remain within given by JESUS Himself when you ask HIM in to hear you, help you, heal you, and honor HIS promises for you… promises you can’t keep on your own, or make happen on your own, or even desire to have on your own. JESUS will be to you who HE is and so much more… beyond what you can think, ask, or imagine… So these 3 remain… Faith, Hope, and LOVE… And the greatest of these is LOVE…
What is so incredible is that asking JESUS to forgive you and to come into your heart is that with Faith, Hope, and LOVE you’ll know Forgiveness (GOD’s forgiveness; empowered to forgive yourself and others even), Grace (ability to handle life’s stresses better), Mercy (received as needed when you mess up along your healing journey), and Compassion (ability to care about and be there for others in need). GOD will also give you as a deposit (a guarantee of your inheritance to be received into Heaven) the HOLY Spirit as a gift to be your wonderful counselor never leaving you on your own to deal with life anymore on your own. You will begin to grow with the fruit of the Spirit to know as well: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-control…
With all these new “friends” inside you growing you and building you up, you’ll have more and more peace of mind, peace in your heart, restful peace for your soul, peace in your spirit, and peace that surpasses all understanding in your life…
JESUS, furthermore, promises HE will never leave you nor forsake you… JESUS says no one can snatch you out of HIS hand and no one can snatch you out of GOD the FATHER’s hand… This is all just a glimpse of HIS innumerable promises HE can keep and hold out just for you to take a hold of into your new found life… Like me, you won’t be alone anymore with Alone…
Here’s a recap:
I am no longer alone… Now that I’m found in JESUS…
You don’t have to be either…
I still know Alone, but not apart from JESUS and all HIS “friends” working deeper within me…
Could you use some new companions along your journey?!…
GOD the FATHER in and through HIS SON JESUS gives them freely if you listen to and accept JESUS as Savior and LORD in your life… What you’ll gain with surrender is by far the greatest treasure you will ever find in a lifetime…
JESUS never leaves nor forsakes you…
Holy Spirit is a deposit guaranteeing your residence will be Heaven…
You will grow in the fruits of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-control…
Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
When you’re ready, you will trust in GOD again… you have that choice, you own that decision only you can make, you have the will to empower trust in HIM whenever you want to practice it…
Trust is a heart and soul thing that grows after you set your mind to begin the endeavor again… You can learn to trust in HIM with moments (like your move to a new place) and choose to trust HIM for healing (like your lifelong journey through trauma/abuse to triumph/astounding) whenever you want… When you fall back to not trusting, from that low point and helpless perspective; you can once again look up in trust to your Heavenly FATHER who gives good gifts and wants to love and care for you… You may choose to trust in moments or a daily decision through prayer (prayer is turning to HIM in trust) and pouring out your heart (through talking to HIM out loud, quietly inside, or writing it out)…
You’re loved and cared for not matter what… You’ll get to know/relearn HIS love and care as you decide to trust when you choose to… I am proud of you when you choose to reach out to those weak in need of love and care… In your weakness, JESUS is strong… Being there for them in being who you are matters and is doing good despite what you may feel or think about yourself… You are showing faith in action; doing GOD’s will in doing HIS Word:
Psalm 41 1 Blessed are those who have regard for the weak; the Lord delivers them in times of trouble. 2 The Lord protects and preserves them— they are counted among the blessed in the land— he does not give them over to the desire of their foes. 3 The Lord sustains them on their sickbed and restores them from their bed of illness.
verse 1 “regard for the weak”; for me the orphans, for you may be anyone weak you reach out to (orphans, special needs children/adults, homeless, abused and neglected souls, widows/widowers, or elderly)
Focus on these Words above and let it become one of your life verses/life mantra…
These verses helped me hang on, believe and trust, and reach out and one day HE answered these promises in my own life… These awesome Words came true through HIM and through me, for me, and in me… I still cannot fathom the turn-around in my life because of JESUS the Living and active Word bringing this about and GOD the FATHER’s mercy and compassion for me…
Look carefully and choose to believe and trust for these to be your benefits as well:
1) delivers them in times of trouble
2) protects and preserves them / does not give them over to the desire of their foes (who want to steal, kill, or destroy; suicide)
3) restores them from their bed of illness (physically or emotionally or mentally or socially or spiritually; for me all 5)
If HE did it for me; I know HE will do it for you… Why? because HE is true to HIS Word and desires to be faithful in a person’s life
When? in HIS timing; so difficult to wait I know (took years for me) maybe for you quicker than my experience
How? in small and grand ways along the journey; sometimes miraculously
Who? you (for you do have regard for the weak)
Where? inside you
I know I went through what I went through to be a help/support to others weaker… This is ultimately the outcome from what I didn’t think was fair, what I didn’t understand, why I was abandoned, why I was often alone in my trauma and not knowing why GOD wasn’t there bringing me through like I knew HE could; why it wasn’t right a way – yet waited for me to learn mercy and compassion at the core of who I am now… HE took me through the depths of darkness to reach out to anybody now with profound faith, hope, and love… with confidence in HIM and who HE is and what I now know HE can/will do…
Much of my trauma was self-inflicted (so full of guilt and shame) from turning away from GOD in rebellious youthful sin and desires being as lost as one can be. Yet I turned to HIM and HE still answered me… me? why me? why HE didn’t abandon me further? why did HE not leave me in my sin? HIS love is greater than anyone can know or fathom… Now I live to show HIS love I know and continue to attempt to fathom… If I didn’t learn through painful depths to know HIS love, mercy, and compassion; then how would I know HIM as HE is and learn that I could reach those who may be in need… HE will choose and use the weak and unlearned to profound the strong and wise… There is so much darkness and cruelty in this world. HE takes some of us through trauma and darkness so we can be a light that shines in it as HE rescues precious children, men, and women that need HIM… sometimes to reveal what HIS love is through us… We choose to pray for and be there present and intercede for them because we know… we understand… we will stand for them… we will choose to love… we will choose purity… we will love purely… Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see GOD (Matthew 5:8)…
You’re not a failure… You’re more than a conqueror through HIM who gives you strength… When you are weak come to HIM for rest… When you can’t do it anymore, wait on HIM for renewed strength… HE is faithful to HIS Word even when we are not…
Oh and let’s look at Psalm 41 vs. 4
I said, “Have mercy on me, Lord; heal me, for I have sinned against you.”
What if we have sinned in some way!! Well I asked the LORD for mercy and to heal me of course… And so, HE healed me… me… and you?… you too!!!…
Ok! So you just got the wave from HIS ocean that was building within me to reach the shore of those needing mercy that will also be a blog post for my website that I have been wanting to write on Psalm 41 for a long, long while… I wrote this for you for sure; yet it is also for anyone else needing encouragement as well…
if you ask… -to give relief from grief and break chains that have you bound from outward stress
if you seek… -to find refreshing from fears threshing all around distress
if you knock… -to open the door to restore from agitations that drown and inward press
HE will soon provide your soul’s needed rest
To persevere in prayer for healing from anxieties that oppress
To make it up and out, through to the other side of darkness
To find hope and purpose arise from under life’s duress
Within HIS reach is peace of a sound mind to once again possess
Within HIS reach is peace of a pure heart to once again find more love rather than less and less
Within HIS reach is peace of a restored soul to once again enter into the light of the living acquiesce
Within HIS reach is a peace of a free spirit to once again soar from the nest awaiting Heaven’s address
So delight yourself in the LORD holding onto HIS rope of 3 chord strand not easily broken to stay out of that prison that arrests
For more of HIM move toward with trusting openness
HE will give the desires of your heart as a reward in being HIS invited guest becoming a part of HIS family into relational oneness with adoption’s kindness
You’re more than a conqueror in Christ whose blood for you outpoured for all of who you are with all your mess, a valuable treasure, HE did purchase
You’re worth not giving up on so wait on the LORD and implore for HIS help in your depression, press on… press on… no longer suppress what you want and need to express and confess; all of you HE accepts
For HIM to renew strength on HIS eagle’s wings to soar above the darkness to bring HIS Light and Love to those below with HIS Presence offering that same forgiveness, acceptance, and healing’s essence
Hear HIS mighty roar resonance remembering HE fights your battles in the war uplifting you out of death’s sentence
I went to spend time with the LORD and write after a time spent in the hospital. I walked alongside a narrow river. Then I turned inland and followed a small stream through high embankments on either side and sat next to it. As it got closer to dusk, hundreds of monarchs flew in among the trees above and near me. Many were still fluttering in the air as others landed on twigs slowly clapping their wings. They were there to rest on their long migration south to Mexico. I just happened to enter their direct line of flight at just the right time. I can still see it in my mind’s eye…
A place of refuge
A place of rest
A place of caring
A place of playing
A place of direction and guidance
A place of freedom
A place of shade
A place of cover
A place of sunlight
A place of gentle breeze
A place of relaxing, flowing water
A place of joy
A place of letting go and being who you are
His miraculous care, concern, giving, providing for the butterflies…
How much more HIS children!
Time sharing insight seeking clues to please
Butterflies circling flight dancing anew with dreams
Suicide Not God's Heart 