Archive for the ‘Jesus’ Category

Edges

Posted: October 19, 2019 in Jesus, Life, new life, Poems
Tags: , ,

I know sanity

Far from the edge already

Enough to be enthusiastically

Feeling all levity

Living life splendidly

When I ran oblivious of HIM lightly

Steady in gravity

When in childlike wonder thought I had plenty

 

I know vanity

Near to be edgy indirectly

Enough to be imaginary

Feeling all jestingly

Living life generally

When I strutted without HIM in revelry

Heady atop gravity

When I was trendy

 

I came to know HIM in amity

From the edge of inanity

Enough to be changed in personality

Feeling all empathy

Living life pleasantly

When I tried to walk with HIM credibly

Led free somewhat through gravity

When I was meant to be

 

I know carnality

Over the edge of morality

Enough to be vulgarity

Feeling all asperity

Living life irreverently

When I walked away from HIM insularity

Offend Thee stuck in gravity

When I was in prodigality

 

I know insanity

On the edge of brevity

Enough to be deadly

Feeling all dreadfully

Living life in self-pity

When I fell apart from HIM mightily

Heavy under gravity

When I was empty

 

I know agony

On the edge of tragedy

Enough to be a calamity

Feeling all panicky

Living life drastically

When I stumbled looking for HIM pantingly

Unsteady by gravity

When I was testy

 

I know tenacity

At the edge of a remedy

Enough to be erratically

Feeling all dramatically

Living life actively

When I pressed on toward HIM attentively

Ready for gravity

When I was messy

 

I know HIM ecstatically

Brought to the edge of my humanity

Enough to be for morality

Feeling all spirituality

Living life valiantly

When I rested in HIM confidently

Defends me from my enemy below this gravity

When YOU test me

 

I know HIM as centrality

Beyond the edge of amnesty

Enough to be compassionately

Feeling all passionately

Living life in vitality 

When I walk with HIM emphatically

Makeready for far above this gravity

While I am a levy until only YOU commend me

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Childhood left far behind

Memories though remind

Of innocence 

And freedom

For a time

 

Crushes left far behind

Memories though remind

Of interest

Other than just me

And mine

 

Hometown left far behind

Memories though remind

Of stability

And familiarity

Entwined

 

New to now old places left far behind

Memories though remind

Of adjustment not ready

And coping unsteady

Disinclined

 

Youth growing pains left far behind

Memories though remind

Of failures in choices made

And mistakes in decisions strayed

Misaligned

 

Broken relationships left far behind

Memories though remind

Of awkwardness

And immaturity

Combined

 

Peace and hope soon left far behind

Memories though remind

Of JESUS changing my demeanor

And self-esteem with composure

Aligned 

 

Friends and family left far behind

Memories though remind

Of being lost and afraid

And sin’s cost betrayed

Unrefined

 

Relationship with HIM left far behind

Memories though remind

HE’s the only way, the truth, and the life

Of shock to feel forsaken

And suicidal thoughts overtaken

Inclined

 

Realities once known left far behind

Memories though remind

Of faith in HIM for HIS mercy plead for

And only HE can rescue to restore

A sound mind

 

From psych hospital left far behind

Memories though remind

Of the pain and darkness tumbling

And life moving forward in starkness stumbling 

Blind

 

Seek HIM whom I left far behind

Memories though remind

Of mental illness diagnosis

And depression with psychosis

Confined

 

New opportunities with purpose I thought were left far behind

Memories though remind

Of HIS truth and kindness shown before

And HIS Word anew choosing to seek HIM to implore

Unwind

 

Someone close I’d have to leave far behind

Memories though remind

Of HIS choice for me to marry

And HIS way, truth, and the life chosen though I’d tarry

Outlined

 

Another episode into psych hospital again I thought was left far behind

Memories though remind

Of fears revisited and hallucinations come alive

And paranoia riveted inside

Divide

 

Another miracle release yet I felt left far behind

Memories though remind

Of continuing to call on HIS name for help and fears increased to cease to be set free

And so weak, weary, and wavering I’d barely hold on to a sense of reality

Contrived

 

Somehow I’d live and work with a growing family beside trying to leave the negative far behind

Memories though remind

Of hit and miss volleys of episodes small and large in magnitude

And the loss of less and less aptitude 

Maligned 

 

There were times I’d be alright with new peace and hope replacing what I wanted left far behind

Memories though remind

Of peace and hope not lasting for long

And I was a step away from a sense of security being gone

Unbind

 

My life crashed down again heading back to another psych hospital that I couldn’t leave far behind

Memories though remind

Of the wreckage I was causing my family broken apart

And damage of decades of doubt taken its toll on my heart

Deride

 

This time I’d protect my wife and fight the enemy and my demons I thought I left far behind

Memories though remind

Of failed attempts, of fear inept, and darkness’s depths while looking above

And yet I chose to walk by faith each step of the way confronting each giant to slay -along came love

To guide

 

My sense of love for my family upon seeing them I never want to leave far behind

Memories though remind

Of desire to fight to keep and to hold them close

And choose to put HIM first and love HIM most

Abide

 

I’d falter once again to enter the psych hospital and another battle escalated with the enemy of my soul who wants me left far behind

Memories though remind

Of faith, hope, and love that remains and the Spirit within to fight the war ensued outside

And HE proves faithful to be there by my side to protect my family, then to center me to defeat my enemy of pride, of lies, of disguise, of negative ties that have followed me from behind

Tried

 

I fight the good fight with HIS grace, mercy, forgiveness, encouragement, and compassion that has not left me far behind

Memories though remind

Of the battles that still need to be fought for others to know the truth

And become HIS disciple who follows with faith, hope, and love as proof

Decide

 

HE promises to never leave nor forsake when trust HIM, so there’s no fear of what’s left far behind

Memories though remind

Of praying on the armor and saving souls as wise being a soldier who will fight on the frontline

And to press on Heavenward to win the prize as a reflection of HIS Light to shine

Realigned

 

HE didn’t leave me far behind, but left the ninety-nine to come after me to find

Memories though remind

Of the deepest, darkest pit I fell into, that I might see -what HE bought would continue to pursue with love’s stride open to what frees

And to show and tell of HIS rescue, not just for me -but for you too HE will do until we’re made new… from above provide in what HE’s

Designed

 

 

 

 

 

What I got

Is more than a lot

SON of GOD my Savior purchased me won with blood took a toll

Grace through faith in HIM saved me come flood my soul

 

When I fought

Lost a war as a prisoner caught

Good Shepherd came to find me in a deep pit

Mercy and compassion reached to lift me up and now will I submit

 

More than ever

Better late than never

KING of kings purchased me forevermore so I will press on leaving what’s behind

Faith, hope, and love I can no longer ignore so in return I respond to others in kind

 

What I live for now

Is far beyond what I can think, ask, or imagine endow

FATHER of Lights shine down as I walk humbly along abiding

All my delights in HIM for desires come true of Heaven each new dawn reminding 

 

When I sought

Found YOUR will inside my heart wrought

The Potter forms this clay confide until I decide chosen behoove from above to follow

Listen and obey one day guide until I’d open to prove HIS love anew unfold

 

More than silver and gold

Is wisdom bought to save souls behold

Redeemer and High Priest fights the battles I couldn’t win alone

Freedom arise released ignites the Fruit of the Spirit to be shown

 

Some just see the stars

I realize who they are

Reflection’s faces of worth

Recollection’s traces from birth

Resurrection’s races above earth

 

Some just see the stars

I realize Words near are now those far

Rejections here accepted there 

Redirections steer kept aware

Redemptions appear when care to share

 

Some just see the stars

I realize the tears kept above in jars

Ramifications cause certain death yet still free to shine

Ratifications pause hurtin’/ breath yet will be wholly Thine

Representations’ applause determined shibboleth let fill eternity divine

 

Some just see the stars

I realize the majestic Mystery is in Heaven’s registrar

Revealing Abraham’s descendants with faith believing

Repealing Adam’s tenants turn in repentance with hope receiving

Re-appealing Atonements residence with love conceiving 

 

Some just see the stars

I realize HE gave all to find the lost in HIS scars

Rekindling chosen sparks to live on despite faltering in it all

Reminding open hearts to give the Light reassuring to install

Rebuilding broken parts to forgive lives answering HIS call

 

See the Morning Star

I realize HE is the Author of it all so trust and believe HIM to write the rest of your memoir

Rescuing your life from demise to become wise

Redeeming your life from the lies now arise

Recommitting your life walking forward Heavenward for the prize with no disguise

 

 

No one knows tomorrow

Except GOD who sees the arrow

Shot through where it will go

Into the straight and narrow

Fade in velocity beyond the bow

Sun down on the horizon below

 

Find me again and pick me up from below

Take me in YOUR Mighty Right hand set in YOUR bow

Take aim into a future and hope along the straight and narrow

Pull me back; shoot me through into YOUR true and proven will let go

YOUR eyes ever on me as one of YOUR chosen few arrows

With vision to see my destiny released into YOUR perfect tomorrow

 

All trust in YOU alone past daydreams in flight

Call thrust into hone past nightmares in sight

Wall bust through continue fast forward in Spirit ignite

Install gust renew strength propel into victory above in my battles YOU fight

Enthrall stardust breakthrough to reflect YOU with insight

Haul robust, true Words reveal trajectory how to make it in this life prove right

 

Haul seed as a sower into hearts grow HIS Words that build a life upon the Rock just right

Enthrall as a shooting star however brief the journey reflect HIM with insight

Install fresh wind that strengthens in HIS grace and mercy grants victory for you HE will always fight

Wall broken down become one with JESUS and the FATHER makes home inside by the Spirit ignite

Call beckons deeper faith within the heart overflowing the soul past nightmares becoming sight

All desires of our hearts in daydreams flight granted when in HIM alone wholly delight

 

Child’s Viewpoint

Lay there hardly move

No where to go 

Learn to crawl

Make it somehow

Learn to walk

Get where need to be

Learn to run

Be first place

 

Teenager Viewpoint

Lay there until have to move

Go anywhere to do

No crawling 

Would look weak

Walk like nothings wrong

Be strong

Run to play the sport

Even if lose; hope to win

 

Young adult Viewpoint

Keep moving even if depressed

Losing hope of where to go

Breakdown will still crawl

Can’t give in 

Walk around wandering

Where do I need to be

Running from reality

On empty until stall out

 

Breaking point

Can’t just lay there

Just need to end it all

Crawling has faded away

Not a choice

Walk away from what is left

Stranded

Run from the tormenting thoughts

Until stopped -suicidal, suicide attempt, make it out somehow, mental illness diagnosed, negative thoughts fights now with faith, hope, and love; relapses then go to HIM who understands and delivers from again and again and again

 

Older Adult Viewpoint w/ the LORD

Find meaning now in day to day movement

Know where want to go

Help those along who crawl

Pray for a future and a hope

Walk on in faith not sight

Know who I’m meant to be

Run the race set in front of me

Await new strength to keep going

 

Life lived perfect

Death for imperfect

Blood released

For setting us free

Sin’s punishment

For our atonement

Risen again won

Only Begotten SON

Lives lost just one

All others save lose none

Holds on to all 

Hears when we call

Turn in repentance

No hell’s sentence

Believe and receive

ONE who’ll never leave

JESUS is HIS Name

Yesterday, today, forever the same