If you're overwhelmed by suicidal thoughts
or have a plan for suicide, it is ok to
get help from a mental health professional
for meds to help support you
as well as counseling as you look to be hopeful again
and better manage your precious life
(especially if you've been abused or experienced trauma in any way)...
You're worthwhile and valuable...
I care about you!!... Reach out to me anytime...
I want you to be an overcomer and a fighter...
L.ive O.n V.ictorious E.ndeavor
Choose L.O.V.E.;
L.ift-up I.nspirational F.uture E.ndure
Choose L.I.F.E.
To shareone’sdeepest or mostintimateemotions,thoughts, or secrets,especially in a profuse or suddenmanner.
expressyourdeepestfeelings or thoughts in a fullandunrestrainedway.
Our Need
With being human, we all need an outlet to release our thoughts and emotions in a constructive manner that will ultimately benefit us with sharing such things with someone rather than keeping it all within – “bottled up” per say.
A bad attitude toward life may be due to holding within bitterness toward a person who has wronged us or toward difficult life event/s without ever dealing with the thoughts and emotions that accompany it.
Depression personally may be due to holding within anger toward self, anger and grief about missed opportunities, or anger and grief about difficult life circumstances (including loss of a loved one) that have happened over time.
Ways of Expression for Sweet Release
My favorite way to pour out my heart is through writing poetry and sharing my hurts, disappointments, difficulties, and sadness with GOD HIMSELF in learning to trust HIM to use hardships, trials, and tribulations to build within me faith and strong character. I allow HIM to mold me into a better person through it all.
If I kept everything in without talking about it and dealing with it, I would go back into deep depression that I experienced as a youth. I once kept everything in. I didn’t talk. I was a loner for the most part, with only a few friends. All my thoughts and emotions were locked away. What I experienced because of this was anger inside, anger at life, mistrust of people, and really being a hateful person. It was a detriment to me personally. What if I had someone to talk to about what I dealt with instead of going it alone. I didn’t have a relationship with GOD, at the time, who would have listened to me and helped me had I known I could turn to HIM for HIS care and support. Life is difficult enough without having to also deal with unresolved and negative thoughts and emotions weighing heavily on the mind, heart, soul, and spirit.
A river needs to have an outlet to move along in forward motion as rains fill it to overflowing. A river whose outlet is the ocean finds release from the pressure that otherwise builds up as in the case if a dam was built to contain it.
Our minds need an outlet for our thoughts, our hearts need to have an outlet for our emotions to move along forward in this life, our souls need to have an outlet to share hopes and dreams, and our spirit needs an outlet to connect to JESUS and our future in eternity…
If we don’t have an outlet, then negativity backs up, builds up pressure, causes one to erupt at some point with damaging consequences that may include suicidal thoughts and/or suicide attempts as an extreme measure seemingly forced into. It simply becomes too much to handle and the stress is now too overwhelming.
Who To Turn To
If you have a close friend to talk to about anything and everything, consider yourself blessed to have that special someone in your life. Not everyone has that.
Going to a counselor to help sort through life’s baggage that may include depression, mental illness, suicidal ideation, abuse, and/or trauma can bring breakthroughs in your life as you face these giants head on and learn to overcome and heal from the hurts you’ve experienced. It takes time, sometimes a very long time to see results.
I have my wife who is my helpmate for sure and can listen to a certain extent. Yet, I don’t have that one guy in my life that I can talk with, be accountable to, and share my burdens I experience through life.
If you’re like me and need someone other than your spouse or a counselor, then GOD is the relationship you are to establish that can change everything in a positive direction…
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6
JESUS is the Wonderful Counselor who fills that deep seated need for support and encouragement we all need…
JESUS is Mighty GOD who fills the role of Protector and a Defense against our enemies…
JESUS is Everlasting FATHER who fills the role giving us the love and provision we need…
JESUS is Prince of Peace who fills the role of giving HIS peace within us to deal with anything that comes our way…
Pour Out Your Heart to GOD
Pouring out your heart to GOD is the single most beneficial thing you can do in your life. He listens and understands. JESUS, when HE came to earth as one of us (human too), experienced every type of temptation, stress, emotions, and thoughts yet was without sin. After HE died on the cross to satisfy GOD’s wrath, overcome death, deal with our enemies including satan, and to deal with and forgive our sin, HE became our High Priest who understands our weaknesses, daily bears our burdens, and prays for us. HE knows and understands us more than anyone else can.
Pouring out your heart to GOD = extreme closeness to the heart of GOD
David, a shepherd boy, who later became the king of GOD’s people is known as a man after GOD’s own heart. Do you know why he was a man after GOD’s own heart. David turned to GOD whenever he was dealing with life’s ups and downs and poured out his heart to HIM. He wasn’t perfect and sinned in terrible ways. So why then was he still a man after GOD’s own heart. He made many mistakes, yet he turned to GOD quickly and asked for forgiveness and desired the relationship to be restored. When good happened in his life, he turned to GOD and gave HIM thanks. David is the author of many of the Psalms in the Bible. If you want examples of pouring out your heart to GOD, you can read through the Psalms which are heartfelt pouring out of emotions and thoughts that were burdensome to bear and deeply troubling to heartfelt pouring out of emotions and thoughts expressing gratitude.
I highly recommend getting a spiral notebook or other journal and begin the process of pouring out your heart of all its emotions and thoughts, hopes and dreams, failures and successes, and deepest needs expressed to GOD and you will be radically changed for the better by doing so… Share your thoughts with HIM, cast your cares and anxieties onto HIM from your heart, bare your soul to HIM, and send up flares from your spirit unto HIM… As you do so over time, things will begin to transform within you through development of your seeking relationship with your Creator who knows all things, knows you, knows what you need and yet wants you to just talk to HIM…
Pouring out your heart to GOD is a way of delighting in HIM… There is a wonderful promise to receive when we do this…
Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
As I have delighted in the LORD, HE has given me some desires of my heart already:
* a wife
* children
* inspiration to write (mostly poetry)
* deliverance from fears and anxieties and being suicidal
* help and support with my mental illness (more of a sound mind and peace within)
* an orphan ministry
* ability to serve with children as one of my passions
* a heart of compassion with ability to show mercy with cheerfulness and to encourage others
* desire to be a pastor
Psalm 62:5-8
5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. 6 Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. 7 My salvation and my honor depend on God[a]; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. 8 Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.
This is for sure -I know Who helps us through our sorrows…
We aren’t promised tomorrow at any time
In fact
There’s no going back.Or can we?Pack? Step into a time machine hijack?
No, odds are stacked against us and left us out of whack -but we can take time to remember, reminisce, revisit again whereas only HE can turn back the hands of time to redeem…
Though older
There is youth regret with desire to start over
We can start over and with time become much wiser
There’s no getting younger age wise to retract
There is backtrack to ask for forgiveness white as snow to be exact
Time stands still
Love can do that;become young at heart to keep intact facing the facts head on -make a comeback
However brief and for however long is its lifelong impact…
There’s still time
For love to carry on
Choose to make a difference before its gone
Time is of the essence
Find love in HIS Presence
Be filled up with overflowing cup upon a mountain top experience
Time is a healer;heals all wounds
Come back down into the valley of the shadow
To help our fellow brother or sister below… Death may come fast, all of a sudden, and everybody know or occur solo so slow -either way let love show…
Time flies when you’re having fun
So time dies when you’re not -no, it’s for faith inside to grow… hope inside to know… love inside reaching out to bestow…
Faith, hope, and love remains as HE alone sustains wherever we are and wherever we go…
Time changes everything
We are changed, it’s true, as we walk along
Changed by the sadness and bitterness or changed to maturity ongoing with each new dawn…
Running out of time
Make moments count even so
An eternal fount awaits beyond the rainbow
At times, let go of time constraints
Enjoy the still and quiet silence or choose opposite of any violence toward others or yourself; begin a new endeavor
A goal may be to get through whatever the weather; give up never, yet ready for forever…
Time to come in
Come in from the cold -no longer alone;come bold to the throne of grace to obtain grace and mercy in times of need until found a home; come hold on until the disaster passes over -out of the war zone
Rest your weary soul in HIM; bought at a price not your own…
Time is now
Act in such a way to bring honor, glory, and praise to our Creator
Best to do so sooner, better late than never, or miss out all together later
Time to go
On a trip of adventure ready for departure
Make lasting memories to capture ever ready to really leave this earth with the rapture
It’s time
Time to know the Way, the Truth, and the Life
So that your time eternally is spent in Heaven beyond internal sin, death’s sentence, pain and sickness, screaming solo, and negative strife
This time…
I live not for myself alone
I’m here for who I love;making HIM known…
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
A Time for Everything
3 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
Weaker than I’d ever been up to then I never did mention
You were one who took the time to talk so open
Soft and gentle words encouraged when spoken
To be heard in uncertainty and confusion
A life giving spirit breaking through the delusion
A small action that was given to bring about future rewarding investment in me
For new life to once again be a possibility
Nothing felt on the outside
Yet touched nevertheless inside
Your face of compassion intent on understanding with love to impart
It must come from the LORD welling up from the depths of your heart
Glad you were there
A few minutes to share
Like a lifetime aware
Release from burdens heavy to bear
You showed you care
Brought a spark to my heart for repair
Brought hope to my soul in despair
Brought light to confront the darkness dare
There to share your gift from the start with such a unique expression arrayed
Etched in my soul and spirit in gratitude receiving quite an everlasting impression made
You were doing your job maybe even going out of your way, an extra mile per se
As shifts would change, I’d wish you were the one who’d stay to continue hearing sweet words you’d say
For it was you who brought rays of light and hope to the day
Uplifting my countenance from a deep pit of depression that you somehow did overlay
Sun shine, birds singing, therapy session, you smiling for me to be brave as you went away
Meredith, a God send, approached out of my nowhere by sitting near me and broke through my brokenness. It was during my 1st hospitalization in a psych unit after my suicide attempt. She brought me hope that somehow gained entrance into my heart, soul, mind, and spirit. I was eternally made different because of the compassion she showed me. One visiting angel appearing for a few moments in time changed the outlook and course of my life toward a positive redirection… I would not see her again during my stay there. However, she did reappear where I later got a job working with abused and neglected children. She was working there as a counselor/social worker I believe. I don’t know if she remembered me from our brief encounter previously. She may never realize just how much her gift of compassion meant to me until Heaven… Never underestimate your power to make a positive difference in others lives by talking to them in their time of need with encouragement and listening ears…
How are you? Really!?… I pray for you… I’m here for you!!… Sincerely…
How am I thought of? I wonder. How am I seen? Maybe real and genuine. Maybe off base and peculiar. How do I come across? Maybe human and down to earth. Maybe human and troubled. Maybe human with a spiritual connection to GOD and Heaven… Probably a little of each component that makes up my whole being with much left unexplored and unknown…
My preferred way of communication is poetry. If you have any familiarity with my site, it is engulfed by poems. Some are simple and to the point and you understand where I’m coming from. Some are complicated and confusing and you don’t understand what I’m talking about.
The simple and to the point come from a heightened awareness of GOD, HIS love, and times of peaceful recollection, remembrance, and restoration of HIS work in my life… A tranquil day in the sun… The complicated and confusing come from a darkened depression turned to mental illness in processing the lonely, anxiety ridden, and fearfully prolonged moments of a life trying to manage everything after being suicidal and making an actual attempt. A chaotic storm in the middle of the darkest night.
Maybe I need to write more like this; acquainting with you in paragraph form, thought by thought sequence, conversation style, letting you in more so to know some of my soul, to know me as a fellow human living this life to overcome and be a fighter still pressing on no matter what comes my way; facing it head on with courage and strength -even though I’m weak…
I have tried to convey faith, hope, and love in writing on this here blog to inspire, encourage, and support those struggling with depression, mental illness, abuse, and/or suicidal thoughts… Has it made a difference for anyone? I don’t really know. I hope so… not for my benefit, but for theirs and for yours…
My faith is in JESUS who is my Savior, my Redeemer, my KING of kings and LORD of lords… My hope is in GOD the FATHER for grace and mercy in times of need… My love works in and through me by HIS Spirit… My faith is that you find faith in HIM too… My hope is that you will hope in HIM too… My love for and from HIM is for you to find HIS love too… Faith, hope, and love remain… And most prominently love is greater than all… And most assuredly love never fails… HIS lovingkindness endures forever… HIS mercy endures forever…
A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Luke 6:45
Why do I talk so much about JESUS and spiritual things? After what HE’s miraculously done with my fallen and broken life, how can I not speak of HIM who overflows my heart and sustains my life… My life has been radically changed by GOD’s love for me and has made an eternally positive difference all because of JESUS… So I include HIM in all that I say in some way… Maybe there are those who are turned off by this. I don’t know. Maybe there are those who haven’t experienced HIS love and care as of now up to this point, thus being foreign to them and unknown. Maybe there are those who feel let down or abandoned by GOD and blame HIM for all that is wrong in their life. Maybe there are those who just don’t know what to think or feel about all this. Is GOD real? If HE is, will HE help me? Will HE be there for me? Will HE see me through the darkness and hard things in this life? Will HE not abandon me to myself and all that is within that consumes and drowns me?
All of the answers to these questions are “yes” in HIS timing and way… Now will you only trust HIM and believe…If you do, your life will change and you will find new strength and purpose for a future and a hope…If you do, then you open yourself up to HIS help, to HIS forgiveness, to HIS love, and to HIS comfort and care…Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us… Ephesians 3:20
GOD wants you to come to HIM, to know HIM, to make HIM known, and to love you and through you show love to others; saved and found by JESUS… “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands.And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else.From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands.God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.‘For in him we live and move and have our being. As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’ Acts 17:24-28
These truths you can believe, trust, and build your very life upon… Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen. 1 Timothy 1: 15-17
Are you ready to begin a new journey into freedom by HIS grace and mercy at work in your life? HE will be redeeming your past, restoring your present, and replenishing you onward into the future and a hope HE has prepared since the beginning before you were even conceived in your mother’s womb and born to face the challenges and brokenness of life moving forward with faith to believe and trust, with hope as an anchor for your soul, and with love HE pours into you by HIS Spirit to now and forever love HIM and love others too… Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment.39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’Matthew 22: 37-39
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34
Have you ever wanted someone to be your friend always and forever? To be there in the most dark and difficult times? To be there going through what you’re going through? To never have to be alone? To bring you to a safe and secure place providing for all your needs? JESUS meets that need and desire… I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” —Hebrews 13:5
How are you? Really!? I pray for you… I am here for you!!… Sincerely…
Can’t see how great my passion freeing fans the flame deep inside will roar
Can’t know the fate HIS fashioning hands within leap to die still for
Can’t see how great my delight stands in awe of HIM for desires of my heart come true
Can’t know the rate Thy Light commands within HIS call into my heartbeats afire find life impart anew
Can’t see how great my soul was pinned -attacked again and again; brought out of death’s pit HE saved from tragedy to walk by faith in the land of the living
Can’t know the state my mind was in back then when enemy did apprehend; fought bout almost quit HE gave grace and mercy to talk as I stand of HIS forgiving
Can’t see how my spirit almost fatally wounded HE healed deep within to hold and keep alit that I might shine until stronger for HIM alone of love shone in compassion hone to tell of HIS good deeds
Can’t know the brokenness of hopelessness my life once felt seep out my every pore to weep remit when contrite align to HIS will no longer dimly known not my own of HIS Word sown to go where HE leads
If you're overwhelmed by suicidal thoughts
or have a plan for suicide, it is ok to
get help from a mental health professional
for meds to help support you
as well as counseling as you look to be hopeful again
and better manage your precious life
(especially if you've been abused or experienced trauma in any way)...
You're worthwhile and valuable...
I care about you!!... Reach out to me anytime...
I want you to be an overcomer and a fighter...
L.ive O.n V.ictorious E.ndeavor
Choose L.O.V.E.;
L.ift-up I.nspirational F.uture E.ndure
Choose L.I.F.E.
In my acronym, S.T.A.R.T.S. will mean:
something you do…
something new you do…
something you continue to do…
Spiritual
Truths
Activated
Renew/Restore/Replenish
Together
Soundness
Personal Thanks to GOD:
Giving thanks honors GOD and is worthwhile to do. It helps counteract depression and fosters hope in dealing with mental illness and suicidal thoughts…
Psalm 106:1
1 Praise the Lord.
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.
Psalm 50:23
23 Those who sacrifice thank offerings honor me, and to the blameless I will show my salvation.”
Importance of Giving Thanks:
Focuses on something good each day
Over time will change perspective to be more positive
Challenges you to do self-care and make right decisions
Utilizes time to reflect; may look back at any time to see how far you’ve come
See GOD at work in your life; brings to mind areas and ways you still need HIS help
I experienced well being spiritually as well as in the areas above. When including thanks in prayers for what you need, there is peace protecting your heart and mind… Every person with depression and/or mental illness needs this…
Philippians 4:6-7
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Personal Journal Application:
I began by writing down anything I could be thankful for in the evenings before going to sleep. It became a habit and an essential part of my healing journey. I jotted down the date and briefly wrote a word or phrase of thanks to GOD. I have many spiral notebooks full of daily thanksgivings written over many years. This was a constructive activity that was life changing. I grew as a person in my interactions with GOD by doing this simple task. My outlook on life became more hopeful and I experienced more peace inside…
Psalm 9:1
1 I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.
Personal Life Application:
Giving thanks for even the most difficult trials and ways we may suffer promote levels of understanding, empathy, and compassion that we can extend to others in need. It also paves the way for greater healing and breakthroughs along the journey…
I challenge you to make the small effort of giving thanks to GOD and find out for yourself the great and wondrous benefits you will receive to help you in this endeavor called life… You will be the better for it…
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
16 Rejoice always,17 pray continually,18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Colossians 3:17
17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Give thanks in everything
In the trials and the tests
Forgiven as far as East to West
This then is something I can bring
Give thanks for this is HIS will for me
In Christ JESUS through trust
Driven by HIS mercy and compassion I must
This then is still my hearts desire delighting in Thee
Give thanks after I present my requests to receive anything
In hope for HIS Presence to be in me above all
Given wisdom to do HIS will when answering HIS call
This then is HIS promise to guard my heart and mind with peace surpassing understanding
Give thanks YOU died for me to be KING of kings and High Priest interceding
In Heaven at GOD the FATHER’s right hand on the throne
Live in freedom with faith growing in YOU no longer alone
This then is why faith, hope, and love remain in me the reason unto others I’m entreating to be believing
Give thanks to follow your leading
In grace open with new vision
Mission for the Great Commission come to fruition
This then is my decision yielding for lost to be saved pleading
Give thanks forevermore into eternity
In whatever I must overcome I’ll do for YOU
Listen to obey along the narrow path pure and true
This then is my commitment anew bringing within serenity
Suicide Not God's Heart 