Archive for the ‘gratitude’ Category

If you're overwhelmed by suicidal thoughts 
or have a plan for suicide, it is ok to
get help from a mental health professional 
for meds to help support you 
as well as counseling as you look to be hopeful again 
and better manage your precious life 
(especially if you've been abused or experienced trauma in any way)...
You're worthwhile and valuable...
I care about you!!...  Reach out to me anytime...
I want you to be an overcomer and a fighter...
L.ive O.n V.ictorious E.ndeavor
Choose L.O.V.E.; 
L.ift-up I.nspirational F.uture E.ndure
Choose L.I.F.E.

 

 

In my acronym, S.T.A.R.T.S. will mean: 

something you do…

something new you do… 

something you continue to do…

 

Spiritual

Truths

Activated

Renew/Restore/Replenish

Together

Soundness

 

The Cambridge Dictionary states that:

pour your  heart out

to tell someone your secret feelings and things that worry you, usually because you feel a strong need to talk about them

 

The Free Dictionary by Farlex states further that:

pour your heart out

To share one’s deepest or most intimate emotions, thoughts, or secrets, especially in a profuse or sudden manner.
express your deepest feelings or thoughts in a full and unrestrained way.

Our Need

With being human, we all need an outlet to release our thoughts and emotions in a constructive manner that will ultimately benefit us with sharing such things with someone rather than keeping it all within – “bottled up” per say.
A bad attitude toward life may be due to holding within bitterness toward a person who has wronged us or toward difficult life event/s without ever dealing with the thoughts and emotions that accompany it.
Depression personally may be due to holding within anger toward self, anger and grief about missed opportunities, or anger and grief about difficult life circumstances (including loss of a loved one) that have happened over time.

Ways of Expression for Sweet Release

My favorite way to pour out my heart is through writing poetry and sharing my hurts, disappointments, difficulties, and sadness with GOD HIMSELF in learning to trust HIM to use hardships, trials, and tribulations to build within me faith and strong character.  I allow HIM to mold me into a better person through it all.
If I kept everything in without talking about it and dealing with it, I would go back into deep depression that I experienced as a youth. I once kept everything in.  I didn’t talk.  I was a loner for the most part, with only a few friends.  All my thoughts and emotions were locked away.  What I experienced because of this was anger inside, anger at life, mistrust of people, and really being a hateful person.  It was a detriment to me personally.  What if I had someone to talk to about what I dealt with instead of going it alone.  I didn’t have a relationship with GOD, at the time, who would have listened to me and helped me had I known I could turn to HIM for HIS care and support.  Life is difficult enough without having to also deal with unresolved and negative thoughts and emotions weighing heavily on the mind, heart, soul, and spirit.
A river needs to have an outlet to move along in forward motion as rains fill it to overflowing.  A river whose outlet is the ocean finds release from the pressure that otherwise builds up as in the case if a dam was built to contain it.
Our minds need an outlet for our thoughts, our hearts need to have an outlet for our emotions to move along forward in this life, our souls need to have an outlet to share hopes and dreams, and our spirit needs an outlet to connect to JESUS and our future in eternity…
If we don’t have an outlet, then negativity backs up, builds up pressure, causes one to erupt at some point with damaging consequences that may include suicidal thoughts and/or suicide attempts as an extreme measure seemingly forced into.  It simply becomes too much to handle and the stress is now too overwhelming.

Who To Turn To

If you have a close friend to talk to about anything and everything, consider yourself blessed to have that special someone in your life.  Not everyone has that.
Going to a counselor to help sort through life’s baggage that may include depression, mental illness, suicidal ideation, abuse, and/or trauma can bring breakthroughs in your life as you face these giants head on and learn to overcome and heal from the hurts you’ve experienced. It takes time, sometimes a very long time to see results.
I have my wife who is my helpmate for sure and can listen to a certain extent.  Yet, I don’t have that one guy in my life that I can talk with, be accountable to, and share my burdens I experience through life.
If you’re like me and need someone other than your spouse or a counselor, then GOD is the relationship you are to establish that can change everything in a positive direction…
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.  Isaiah 9:6
JESUS is the Wonderful Counselor who fills that deep seated need for support and encouragement we all need…
JESUS is Mighty GOD who fills the role of Protector and a Defense against our enemies…
JESUS is Everlasting FATHER who fills the role giving us the love and provision we need…
JESUS is Prince of Peace who fills the role of giving HIS peace within us to deal with anything that comes our way…

Pour Out Your Heart to GOD

Pouring out your heart to GOD is the single most beneficial thing you can do in your life.  He listens and understands.  JESUS, when HE came to earth as one of us (human too), experienced every type of temptation, stress, emotions, and thoughts yet was without sin. After HE died on the cross to satisfy GOD’s wrath, overcome death, deal with our enemies including satan, and to deal with and forgive our sin, HE became our High Priest who understands our weaknesses, daily bears our burdens, and prays for us.  HE knows and understands us more than anyone else can.

 

Pouring out your heart to GOD = extreme closeness to the heart of GOD

David, a shepherd boy, who later became the king of GOD’s people  is known as a man after GOD’s own heart.  Do you know why he was a man after GOD’s own heart.  David turned to GOD whenever he was dealing with life’s ups and downs and poured out his heart to HIM.  He wasn’t perfect and sinned in terrible ways.  So why then was he still a man after GOD’s own heart.  He made many mistakes, yet he turned to GOD quickly and asked for forgiveness and desired the relationship to be restored.  When good happened in his life, he turned to GOD and gave HIM thanks.  David is the author of many of the Psalms in the Bible.  If you want examples of pouring out your heart to GOD, you can read through the Psalms which are heartfelt pouring out of emotions and thoughts that were burdensome to bear and deeply troubling to heartfelt pouring out of emotions and thoughts expressing gratitude.

 

I highly recommend getting a spiral notebook or other journal and begin the process of pouring out your heart of all its emotions and thoughts, hopes and dreams, failures and successes, and deepest needs expressed to GOD and you will be radically changed for the better by doing so…  Share your thoughts with HIM, cast your cares and anxieties onto HIM from your heart, bare your soul to HIM, and send up flares from your spirit unto HIM…  As you do so over time, things will begin to transform within you through development of your seeking relationship with your Creator who knows all things, knows you, knows what you need and yet wants you to just talk to HIM…

 

Pouring out your heart to GOD is a way of delighting in HIM… There is a wonderful promise to receive when we do this…

 

Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

As I have delighted in the LORD, HE has given me some desires of my heart already:
* a wife
* children
* inspiration to write (mostly poetry)
* deliverance from fears and anxieties and being suicidal
* help and support with my mental illness (more of a sound mind and peace within)
* an orphan ministry
* ability to serve with children as one of my passions
* a heart of compassion with ability to show mercy with cheerfulness and to encourage others
* desire to be a pastor

Psalm 62:5-8

Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God[a];
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.

 

 

 

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A world turn to ice

Rotation seems to stop -test

The roll of the dice

 

Grow up to release stress

Resistance to change

Succumb to nevertheless

 

Desire to be someone

Lost in the night from days depressed

Fade with disappearance of the sun

 

Where becomes the focus more or less

Inward view at darkness strange

Hell on earth felt with mental illness

 

Battle is in my mind

Life or death hangs in the balance hard pressed

Can’t help but look for a sign

 

Negative thoughts overtake intense

Fear and doubt narrows outlooks range

Future dread, past enchains, present in suspense

 

Let go self care

Minimalizing nourishment starving inside as my guest

Brain eating itself deceiving now aware

 

Cold heart mourn trespassed east to west

Soul torn in unrest

Frozen spirit forlorn tests distressed

Mind stuck on warning/warning/warning/warn?!. digress

Perfect storm enters inside to derange

Panic stricken hidden within head’s walls torments

 

Suicide has access

How come I acquiesce

Open the door, crossed the line oppressed

 

Suicidal hours pass suppress

Relentless until possess -success?!.

Drown out voices in excess

 

No such attempt a success…

Come up for air with will still to live reassess

Arise soaken wet convalesce

 

Hitch a ride back to civilization egress

At a loss that death somehow did outguess finality this time, how to process?

Did I go too far with the way I transgress?

 

Parents sullen expression hopeless -turn their back and walk away

My only hope is Heaven above to hear my cries to HIM confess

Scared the enemy stalks in this darkness; hearing breaths closing in for attack as I pray

 

In time JESUS answers to rescue, restore, redeem to repossess

Relationship with the LORD reestablished over the years with interchange

Taken back into the sheepfold to learn trust has been an ongoing process

 

All HE did for me I can’t express fully in my writings or with my spoken words, but I try

Yet, JESUS, is HIS precious name I will forever profess

Since HE has heard my wavering cries, I will walk with HIM no longer to deny for faith, hope, and love now unto others apply…

 

Frozen ice melts with the SON press on Heavenward progress

Saves lives, softens hearts, sanctifies minds, sets spirits free in wondrous and beautiful exchange

Casts out fear with perfect love HE has won to bless…

  

 

Time is on our side

Some will say

But is it? Delay decay…

 

Time is in HIS hands

Yesterdays, todays, and tomorrows

This is for sure -I know Who helps us through our sorrows…

 

We aren’t promised tomorrow at any time

In fact

There’s no going back.  Or can we?  Pack?  Step into a time machine hijack?

 

No, odds are stacked against us and left us out of whack -but we can take time to remember, reminisce, revisit again whereas only HE can turn back the hands of time to redeem…

Though older

There is youth regret with desire to start over

 

We can start over and with time become much wiser

There’s no getting younger age wise to retract

There is backtrack to ask for forgiveness white as snow to be exact

 

Time stands still

Love can do that;  become young at heart to keep intact facing the facts head on -make a comeback

However brief and for however long is its lifelong impact…

 

There’s still time

For love to carry on

Choose to make a difference before its gone

 

Time is of the essence

Find love in HIS Presence

Be filled up with overflowing cup upon a mountain top experience

 

Time is a healer;  heals all wounds

Come back down into the valley of the shadow

To help our fellow brother or sister below…  Death may come fast, all of a sudden, and everybody know or occur solo so slow -either way let love show…

 

Time flies when you’re having fun

So time dies when you’re not -no, it’s for faith inside to grow… hope inside to know… love inside reaching out to bestow…

Faith, hope, and love remains as HE alone sustains wherever we are and wherever we go…

 

Time changes everything

We are changed, it’s true, as we walk along

Changed by the sadness and bitterness or changed to maturity ongoing with each new dawn…

 

Running out of time

Make moments count even so

An eternal fount awaits beyond the rainbow

 

At times, let go of time constraints

Enjoy the still and quiet silence or choose opposite of any violence toward others or yourself; begin a new endeavor

A goal may be to get through whatever the weather; give up never, yet ready for forever…

 

Time to come in

Come in from the cold -no longer alone;  come bold to the throne of grace to obtain grace and mercy in times of need until found a home; come hold on until the disaster passes over -out of the war zone

Rest your weary soul in HIM; bought at a price not your own…

 

Time is now

Act in such a way to bring honor, glory, and praise to our Creator

Best to do so sooner, better late than never, or miss out all together later

 

Time to go

On a trip of adventure ready for departure

Make lasting memories to capture ever ready to really leave this earth with the rapture

 

It’s time

Time to know the Way, the Truth, and the Life

So that your time eternally is spent in Heaven beyond internal sin, death’s sentence, pain and sickness, screaming solo, and negative strife

 

This time…

I live not for myself alone

I’m here for who I love;  making HIM known…

 

 

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

A Time for Everything

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

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Wake up…

Turn around!

You found the way to be…

Break up…

Fallow ground!

You found the way through the deep…

Take up…

Cross found!

You found the way beneath…

Shake up…

Love abound!

You found the way to free…

 

Listen close…

Fall down!

You found the truth to heed…

Decision close…

Stand ground!

You found the truth to keep…

Vision close…

Plan astound!

You found the truth to see…

Arisen close…

Walk expound!

You found the truth to lead…

 

Forgive personal…

Mercy surround!

You found the life to intercede…

Give personal…

Compassion renown!

You found the life in deed…

Outlive personal…

Grace resound!

You found the life to supersede…

Determinative personal…

Faith, hope, and love profound

You found the life to bleed…

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Faith will find a way

Find a way to hold on

Walk In the race until agree to run

Tend to while fighting the good fight

 

Hope will find a way

Find a way to carry on

To taste and see what HE has won

Send igniting into the night within the Light

 

Love will find a way

Find a way to overcome

To embrace and receive the SON

When delighting desires become set aright

 

Grace will find a way

Find a way to soar above

Through every storm have sufficiency enough

Lend Mighty Right Hand uplift for HIS vision in sight

 

Mercy will find a way

Find a way through push and shove

Cover over, found beneath, until arise a diamond in the rough

Defend as High Priest if broken and contrite

 

Compassion will find a way

Find a way to lift others up

Fill to overflowing my empty cup

Again and again give what’s needed beyond the fright of any plight

 

Faith will find the truth

Find the truth that sets free

Set free in the SON indeed

Abide in HIM to grow

 

Hope will find the truth

Find the truth to hold and keep

Debts paid move forward always believe

Guide into the Light reflect to show

 

Love will find the truth

Find the truth to just be 

Let it enter in daily to receive

Subside the fears, until cast aside, for love to forever know

 

Grace will find the truth

Find the truth to speak

Fret not to take a stand against the enemy

Decide to be in HIS will with seed for the sower to sow

 

Mercy will find the truth

Find the truth to grieve

Get back up no longer deceived

Hide under shelter of HIS wings until an arrow in HIS bow

 

Compassion will find the truth

Find the truth for others reach

Forget not where you came from with their pain conceive

Arrive on the scene to resuscitate no matter the injury or how far they’ve fallen below

 

Faith will find the life

Find the life few will find, even so, choose to breathe

Leapt to discover what only HE can do with me

Tried as gold refined by fire seven times aglow

 

Hope will find the life

Find the life with desires come to fruition when unto HIM heed

Secrets of HIS Heavenly wisdom enter in to succeed

Ride on the heights to newly dream to where HE leads go

 

Love will find the life

Find the life to do the same sincerely

Kept in HIS grips equipped meek and holy

Wide, long, high, and deep is this love of Christ that overflows

 

Grace will find the life

Extending to reach any in need with HIS wings beneath

Regrets left behind press on for Heavenward’s prize to seek

Died to sin made alive in Christ to walk the straight and narrow

 

Mercy will find the life

Find the life I don’t deserve because HE heard my pleas

Outlet for others to come to know HIM from their chains be released

Beside HIM open to be who I’m meant to be pure as white snow

 

Compassion will find the life

Find the life to become compassion perceived to those in need

Interprets what to pray and then stretch out hand for healing to relieve

Confide in HIM here and now into eternity ever ready to understand however many tomorrows bestow

Image result for faith, hope love

Image result for grace mercy compassion

Image result for angel

To whom one confides as an angel in disguise

Touched with her words, listened with her eyes

Approached out of nowhere exuding kindness toward

Calmed by her presence as she chose to not ignore

I wasn’t strong rather very weak without question

Weaker than I’d ever been up to then I never did mention

You were one who took the time to talk so open

Soft and gentle words encouraged when spoken

To be heard in uncertainty and confusion

A life giving spirit breaking through the delusion

A small action that was given to bring about future rewarding investment in me

For new life to once again be a possibility

Nothing felt on the outside

Yet touched nevertheless inside

Your face of compassion intent on understanding with love to impart

It must come from the LORD welling up from the depths of your heart

Glad you were there

A few minutes to share

Like a lifetime aware

Release from burdens heavy to bear

You showed you care

Brought a spark to my heart for repair

Brought hope to my soul in despair

Brought light to confront the darkness dare

There to share your gift from the start with such a unique expression arrayed

Etched in my soul and spirit in gratitude receiving quite an everlasting impression made

You were doing your job maybe even going out of your way, an extra mile per se

As shifts would change, I’d wish you were the one who’d stay to continue hearing sweet words you’d say

For it was you who brought rays of light and hope to the day

Uplifting my countenance from a deep pit of depression that you somehow did overlay

Sun shine, birds singing, therapy session, you smiling for me to be brave as you went away

 

Meredith, a God send, approached out of my nowhere by sitting near me and broke through my brokenness.  It was during my 1st hospitalization in a psych unit after my suicide attempt.  She brought me hope that somehow gained entrance into my heart, soul, mind, and spirit.  I was eternally made different because of the compassion she showed me.  One visiting angel appearing for a few moments in time changed the outlook and course of my life toward a positive redirection…  I would not see her again during my stay there.  However, she did reappear where I later got a job working with abused and neglected children.  She was working there as a counselor/social worker I believe.  I don’t know if she remembered me from our brief encounter previously.  She may never realize just how much her gift of compassion meant to me until Heaven…  Never underestimate your power to make a positive difference in others lives by talking to them in their time of need with encouragement and listening ears…

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How are you?  Really!?…  I pray for you…  I’m here for you!!… Sincerely…

How am I thought of?  I wonder.  How am I seen?  Maybe real and genuine.  Maybe off base and peculiar.  How do I come across?  Maybe human and down to earth.  Maybe human and troubled.  Maybe human with a spiritual connection to GOD and Heaven…  Probably a little of each component that makes up my whole being with much left unexplored and unknown…

My preferred way of communication is poetry.  If you have any familiarity with my site, it is engulfed by poems.  Some are simple and to the point and you understand where I’m coming from.  Some are complicated and confusing and you don’t understand what I’m talking about.

The simple and to the point come from a heightened awareness of GOD, HIS love, and times of peaceful recollection, remembrance, and restoration of HIS work in my life…  A tranquil day in the sun…  The complicated and confusing come from a darkened depression turned to mental illness in processing the lonely, anxiety ridden, and fearfully prolonged moments of a life trying to manage everything after being suicidal and making an actual attempt. A chaotic storm in the middle of the darkest night.

Maybe I need to write more like this; acquainting with you in paragraph form, thought by thought sequence, conversation style, letting you in more so to know some of my soul, to know me as a fellow human living this life to overcome and be a fighter still pressing on no matter what comes my way; facing it head on with courage and strength -even though I’m weak…

I have tried to convey faith, hope, and love in writing on this here blog to inspire, encourage, and support those struggling with depression, mental illness, abuse, and/or suicidal thoughts…  Has it made a difference for anyone?  I don’t really know.  I hope so…  not for my benefit, but for theirs and for yours…

My faith is in JESUS who is my Savior, my Redeemer, my KING of kings and LORD of lords…  My hope is in GOD the FATHER for grace and mercy in times of need…  My love works in and through me by HIS Spirit…  My faith is that you find faith in HIM too…  My hope is that you will hope in HIM too…  My love for and from HIM is for you to find HIS love too…  Faith, hope, and love remain…  And most prominently love is greater than all… And most assuredly love never fails…  HIS lovingkindness endures forever…  HIS mercy endures forever…

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.  Luke 6:45

Why do I talk so much about JESUS and spiritual things?  After what HE’s miraculously done with my fallen and broken life, how can I not speak of HIM who overflows my heart and sustains my life…  My life has been radically changed by GOD’s love for me and has made an eternally positive difference all because of JESUS…  So I include HIM in all that I say in some way… Maybe there are those who are turned off by this.  I don’t know.  Maybe there are those who haven’t experienced HIS love and care as of now up to this point, thus being foreign to them and unknown. Maybe there are those who feel let down or abandoned by GOD and blame HIM for all that is wrong in their life.  Maybe there are those who just don’t know what to think or feel about all this.  Is GOD real?  If HE is, will HE help me?  Will HE be there for me?  Will HE see me through the darkness and hard things in this life?  Will HE not abandon me to myself and all that is within that consumes and drowns me?

All of the answers to these questions are “yes” in HIS timing and way…  Now will you only trust HIM and believe… If you do, your life will change and you will find new strength and purpose for a future and a hope… If you do, then you open yourself up to HIS help, to HIS forgiveness, to HIS love, and to HIS comfort and care…  Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us… Ephesians 3:20

GOD wants you to come to HIM, to know HIM, to make HIM known, and to love you and through you show love to others;  saved and found by JESUS… “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else. From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.  As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’  Acts 17:24-28

These truths you can believe, trust, and build your very life upon… Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen. 1 Timothy  1: 15-17

Are you ready to begin a new journey into freedom by HIS grace and mercy at work in your life?  HE will be redeeming your past, restoring your present, and replenishing you onward into the future and a hope HE has prepared since the beginning before you were even conceived in your mother’s womb and born to face the challenges and brokenness of life moving forward with faith to believe and trust, with hope as an anchor for your soul, and with love HE pours into you by HIS Spirit to now and forever love HIM and love others too…  Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  Matthew 22: 37-39

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34

Have you ever wanted someone to be your friend always and forever?  To be there in the most dark and difficult times?  To be there going through what you’re going through? To never have to be alone?  To bring you to a safe and secure place providing for all your needs?  JESUS meets that need and desire…  I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”  Deuteronomy 31:6

He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” —Hebrews 13:5

 

How are you?  Really!?  I pray for you…  I am here for you!!…  Sincerely…

Jeff Watts