Ever Felt So Alone

Have you ever felt so alone

Into your face biting sand wind blown

Walking in the desert bemoan

Broad ways though the direction seems wrong

Life lost so weak, all but strong

Where is the straight and narrow road shown

Into the oasis at dawn to bring calm 

To sit below palm fronds with needed ration

 

Have you ever felt so alone

Above vultures circling drones

Wandering in the wilderness unknown

Repetitive circles deems long

Life tossed so bleak, all but gone

Where is the straight and narrow toward home

Into the Promise land drawn to dream beyond 

Relit to go balm bonds with entreated compassion

 

Have you ever felt so alone

Want to find your place that is your very own

Struggling through the years to have grown

Life embossed so unique, all but belong

Separate even when among HIS throng

Where is the straight and narrow will to be known

Into HIS heart as a new song to sing along 

With no qualm responds with heeded passion

Inspiration of Psalm 23

All for GOD

I will plod

Meets needs more than I want

Soften my heart sod

With HIS Word trod

Into pastures green nod

Beside still waters esplanade

HE restores my soul applaud

Leads into paths of righteousness prod

Through death’s shadow YOUR rod

And staff comfort me beyond the facade

HE prepares a table for me near enemies at odds

HE anoints my head with oil when response is flawed

Fills my cup to overflowing abroad

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me shod

And I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever awed

K.O.R.E.

I have recently launched K.O.R.E. online ministry as GOD has called me to be a pastor.  I’m following the LORD trusting HIM to work in and through my life to bring GOD the FATHER glory, honor, and praise in JESUS’ name…  I plan to write messages weekly and post mostly on Saturdays.  I have written 2 messages one from last week and one for this week.  My hope and prayer is that you will be inspired to grow in faith, hope, and love in your walk with Christ…  I especially want to reach out to those who don’t have a church home.  K.O.R.E. exists for those who are dealing with depression, experiencing mental illness, having suicidal thoughts, have attempted suicide in the past, dealing with oppression, feeling like an outcast, facing health challenges, and/or just feeling overwhelmed in life…  If anyone needs prayer, support, and encouragement feel free to reach out to me anytime…  I will personally respond to you in a timely manner… Come by and visit the website and give me some feedback, leave a prayer request, or express your interest to get involved:  K.O.R.E.

Darkness Covered

So it’s Good Friday.  What is so good about it?

What is celebrated is JESUS crucified on the cross.

So HE died.  What is that to me?

It was for you…  for me… for the whole world…

There is an intimate, radical, and victorious reason HE did so to be remembered and for some to newly discover…

 

JESUS knew he was about to die before it happened.  HE mentions it to HIS disciples that it was imminent.

“As you know, the Passover is two days away—and the Son of Man will be handed over to be crucified.”  Matthew 26:2

JESUS makes it even more evident of HIS coming death by letting them know how important the woman is who poured out her perfume on HIM…

While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table.

When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. “Why this waste?” they asked. “This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.” 

Aware of this, Jesus said to them, “Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial. Truly I tell you, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.”  Matthew 26: 6-13

As HE shared the Last Supper with HIS disciples, HE also knew one of HIS disciples would betray HIM.  HE foreknew the previous event:   Then one of the Twelve—the one called Judas Iscariot—went to the chief priests and asked, “What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?” So they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver. ¹⁶ From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over.  Matthew 26:14

Even during the meal that night, JESUS made it known who would betray HIM.

Jesus replied, “The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me. The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born.”

Then Judas, the one who would betray him, said, “Surely you don’t mean me, Rabbi?”

Jesus answered, “You have said so.”  Matthew 23-25

Have you ever felt darkness of being betrayed by someone you knew well.  For you, it may be devastating.  JESUS knows and understands what you’ve felt and gone through…

Darkness would fall on Judas Iscariot.

When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.”

“What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.”

So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.  Matthew 27:3-5

You don’t need to respond like Judas!!…  You can turn back to JESUS, ask for forgiveness, and be restored to right relationship with GOD again…  If you have not known JESUS, you can turn to HIM for the first time and ask for forgiveness, ask JESUS to come into your heart and life, and repent to live the new life JESUS paid for, by HIS death, for you to have…

 

JESUS went on to say that night that all the disciples would not stay with HIM even when Peter said that he would still be there for HIM even if all the others weren’t.  Then Peter said he would even die with HIM.  The other disciples also said they would die with HIM.

Then Jesus told them, “This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written:

“‘I will strike the shepherd,
    and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’

But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.”

Peter replied, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.”

“Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.”

But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the other disciples said the same.  Matthew 26: 31-35

Have you ever experienced your friends or family not being there for you in your darkest hour?  JESUS knows and understand this so well…  HE is One who is there for you, will walk with you through it, and lead you into HIS Light if you will trust and abide i\n HIM while waiting for your breakthroughs in GOD’s timing and way…

Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

⁴⁰ Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. ⁴¹ “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

⁴² He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”

⁴³ When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. ⁴⁴ So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.

⁴⁵ Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. ⁴⁶ Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

Darkness fell upon JESUS.  HE understands the mental, emotional, and spiritual torment that can be experienced in this life…  An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. ⁴⁴ And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. Luke 22: 43-44  Though JESUS’ experience is to a greater degree, have you ever felt so much anguish awakening from a nightmare or feel like you’re living a nightmare and you’re sweating profusely?  I have!  Again, HE can be relied upon to support you, care for you, and see you through it…  HE loves those with depression and/or mental illness.  It took me 19 years of dealing on and off with depression and mental illness with ongoing faith and trust being placed in JESUS to see HIS victories in my life, HIS peace finally breakthrough during extreme trials/temptations, and HIS perfect love cast out my fears…  If HE did it for me, HE will do it for you too…

JESUS is then betrayed by Judas Iscariot.  Soldiers advance to arrest JESUS.  The disciples pull their swords and one of the disciples cuts off a servant of the high priest’s ear to which JESUS immediately tells them to put away their swords and heals the servant’s ear back into place.

While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people. Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.” Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him.

Jesus replied, “Do what you came for, friend.”^[d]

Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him. With that, one of Jesus’ companions reached for his sword, drew it out and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear.

“Put your sword back in its place,” Jesus said to him, “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword. Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?”

In that hour Jesus said to the crowd, “Am I leading a rebellion, that you have come out with swords and clubs to capture me? Every day I sat in the temple courts teaching, and you did not arrest me. But this has all taken place that the writings of the prophets might be fulfilled.” Then all the disciples deserted him and fled.  Matthew 26: 47-56

Have you ever felt abandoned and left all alone in your troubles?  Though JESUS could have been helped by GOD the FATHER and angels be called upon to save and deliver HIM, HE willingly surrendered.  Was this suicide?  Would he take HIS own life?  No, JESUS would not take HIS own life!!!  HE gave HIS own life… with willingness to die at the hands of those in earthly command by sinners for the benefit of all sinners who would turn to HIM to be saved…  There is an emphatic and distinct difference.  How can you give your life in service to JESUS, rather than take your life ending your opportunities to make a positive difference while alive?  You may find yourself in the midst of the darkest depression or season of your mental illness. If so, you need to rely on JESUS to care for you and even carry you along.  Then begin to practice loving and caring for yourself the way JESUS does until you are able to do that which may help others…  Let HIM rescue, restore, and redeem your life in order to have a testimony to share with others who need your compassion in being an example of what JESUS can also do for them…

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13

JESUS was brought before the Sanhedrin, where the chief priests looked for and made up reasons why JESUS should be put to death.  Peter followed within a crowd to see what would happen.  JESUS was accused falsely, spit at, and hit with fists…  During this time, Peter is noticed as one who was seen with JESUS.  Peter had come as far as he was able in his own strength to remain as near JESUS as he could muster.

Now Peter was sitting out in the courtyard, and a servant girl came to him. “You also were with Jesus of Galilee,” she said.

But he denied it before them all. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.

Then he went out to the gateway, where another servant girl saw him and said to the people there, “This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth.”

He denied it again, with an oath: “I don’t know the man!”

After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.”

Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!”

Immediately a rooster crowed. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly.  Matthew 26: 69-75

Darkness fell on Peter.  He failed in the fight, fell away in fear, and had forsaken JESUS whom he loved in moments of weakened faith.  Maybe you can relate on some level.  You haven’t lived up to who you thought you were or are meant to be.  You were broken by it. JESUS knows and understands!!!…

JESUS goes before the governor Pilate.  He asks JESUS if HE is the King of the Jews?  JESUS replied “You have said so.”  However, when the chief priests and elders were accusing HIM, HE said nothing in response.  Pilate did not want to hand JESUS over to be crucified.  He gave the option of releasing Barabbas, a criminal, or JESUS who is called the Messiah.  The crowd called for Barabbas to be freed.  He asked what do you want to do with JESUS.  They all yelled “crucify HIM!”  Pilate, still not wanting to have JESUS executed, asked for what crime HE had committed.  But the crowd yelled even louder “crucify HIM!”

Have you ever been accused of something you haven’t done?  Or have you ever felt a part of you die when someone accused of you something you did do wrong?  JESUS committed no crime, but was sentenced to die.  Yet he would die for “crimes”.  It was for our crimes (sins) that we have committed.

Then the governor’s soldiers took Jesus into the Praetorium and gathered the whole company of soldiers around him. They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, ²⁹ and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand. Then they knelt in front of him and mocked him. “Hail, king of the Jews!” they said. ³⁰ They spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again. ³¹ After they had mocked him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him away to crucify him.  Matthew 27: -31

Have you ever been humiliated and/or beaten down?  No one has experienced the depths of that which JESUS did.  So HE understands and is compassionate toward you.

Just as there were many who were appalled at him^[c]—
    his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any human being
    and his form marred beyond human likeness—  Isaiah 52:14

As the soldiers led HIM away, Simon from Cyrene was made to carry JESUS’ cross.  Two criminals were also executed on either side of JESUS.

When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. ³⁴ Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”  Luke 23: 33-34

If JESUS forgave those who were putting HIM to death, wouldn’t HE forgive you for whatever you have done!  HE would and HE will…

One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!”

But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? ⁴¹ We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”

Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.^[d]”

Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”  Luke 23: 39-43

JESUS was able to also forgive and accept the criminal dying next to him who had no time to change his actions or fix/make course corrections for his life.  Yet that criminal acknowledged his sin, realized JESUS could save him, and simply asked JESUS to remember him. If you’re still breathing, you are able to turn to JESUS by acknowledging your sin to GOD, believing in JESUS being able to forgive and accept you, and trusting in HIM to remember you to live in HIS Kingdom forevermore…  Ask HIM…  Maybe, you’re remembering a time when you were closer to JESUS, but have strayed and wandered off the path.  You may still make a course correction and return to HIM who is the Shepherd and Overseer of your soul…  It is okay to restart a walk with HIM again…

It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last.  Luke 23: 44-46

Has depression and/or a mental illness darkened your view of life right now?  Has it felt as though the brightness of the sun once shining brightly in your life has faded somehow?  Though there is darkness now, there will be a day when the SON will shine all the more brighter again for you… for all who have believed and trusted in JESUS…  if not here, then for sure in Heaven…

GOD’s plan to punish the crimes committed by the world was to place all “our” sins upon HIS SON JESUS.  HE was to die for us, in our place, for GOD to be able to forgive us and take away our sins by HIS death…  All of GOD’s wrath fell upon JESUS, so it wouldn’t fall on us.  GOD let darkness cover the whole land.  Our whole darkness covered HIM.  HE died once and for all.  For you, for me, for all of us…  Will the Light shine again?  Look forward to reading my next post soon to understand better what I mean…  JESUS wouldn’t stay dead…  Life is about to be new…

Isaiah 53

The Suffering Servant

53 Who has believed our message?
And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
² For He grew up before Him like a tender shoot,
And like a root out of parched ground;
He has no stately form or majesty
That we should look upon Him,
Nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him.
³ He was despised and forsaken of men,
A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief;
And like one from whom men hide their face
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.

⁴ Surely our griefs He Himself bore,
And our sorrows He carried;
Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten of God, and afflicted.
⁵ But He was pierced through for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities;
The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him,
And by His scourging we are healed.
All of us like sheep have gone astray,
Each of us has turned to his own way;
But the Lord has caused the iniquity of us all
To fall on Him.

⁷ He was oppressed and He was afflicted,
Yet He did not open His mouth;
Like a lamb that is led to slaughter,
And like a sheep that is silent before its shearers,
So He did not open His mouth.
⁸ By oppression and judgment He was taken away;
And as for His generation, who considered
That He was cut off out of the land of the living
For the transgression of my people, to whom the stroke was due?
⁹ His grave was assigned with wicked men,
Yet He was with a rich man in His death,
Because He had done no violence,
Nor was there any deceit in His mouth.

¹⁰ But the Lord was pleased
To crush Him, putting Him to grief;
If He would render Himself as a guilt offering,
He will see His offspring,
He will prolong His days,
And the good pleasure of the Lord will prosper in His hand.
¹¹ As a result of the ^[p]anguish of His soul,
He will see it and be satisfied;
By His knowledge the Righteous One,
My Servant, will justify the many,
As He will bear their iniquities.
¹² Therefore, I will allot Him a portion with the great,
And He will divide the booty with the strong;
Because He poured out Himself to death,
And was numbered with the transgressors;
Yet He Himself bore the sin of many,
And interceded for the transgressors.

 

GOD Is One

GOD is ONE who shows

HE…

Cares for even the sparrows

Created us flesh, blood, and marrow

Is greater in love laying down HIS life with obedience to the cross HE chose

Died to save us from sin and death HE did swallow

Shed HIS blood to forgive us making us whiter than snow

Redeems our lives in victory for HE arose

Will restore relationship if in disobedience we once froze

Let’s us know we are no longer solo

Helps us to walk through the valley of death’s shadow

Comforts, heals, and builds us up after sorrow

Lifts up our heads toward on high after being low

Lifts us up from being stuck in our woes

Lifts up our countenance until we glow

Changes us within to no longer be hollow

Loves us on the straight and narrow

Provides HIS grace to overflow

Provides HIS mercy to always know

Provides HIS compassion for us to go

Provides HIS Spirit for strength to follow

Helps us break up the ground that’s fallow 

Gives us faith, hope and love to grow

Gives us HIS will to disclose

Gives us the seeds to sow

Gives us commands from above to make disciples here below

Wins souls as wise to store up treasure in Heaven to bestow

Helps us throw off the sin that so easily entangles with our no

Leads us in paths of righteousness for HIS name sake for HIS will never to overthrow

Creates in us pure hearts so as not to fall into the world’s undertow

Delivers us from evil and defeats every foe

Defends HIS children from the enemy against us and all who may oppose

Aims our kids to go beyond as HIS arrows

Takes us further than beyond the status quo

Makes us vessels beyond what we think, ask, or imagine even more so

Stays the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow

Keeps HIS promises as evidenced by the rainbow

Prays we are willing to obey with the lives we borrow

Remains faithful if we falter or fall down even though

Will come again on the clouds to call us home lifting us up even so

Heart of Compassion for Those Suicidal

I walk past my dad sleeping on the couch.  He came to get me.  I open the door slowly, quietly.  I close it behind me.  I realize now that it was unwise of me to not get help and go it on my own.  But I didn’t think of getting help until it was too late.  Ask for help if you need it!…

I walk away further than I had been into the darkest night.  I had been walking away for quite some time.  Away from faith and trust in JESUS.  Late nights, barely any sleep.  Trying to get through my university classes and working.  Hadn’t been eating much if not at all for weeks.  Thoughts began turning against me until suicidal.  I realize now I was needing to eat and nourish my body and was part of the reason my mind turned against myself.  Nourish your body so as not to do it damage or cause the wiring in the brain to malfunction/misfire…

As I walked onward, the intensity of the situation became unbearable.  GOD seemed to be warning me and I questioned it wondering if I should turn back.  Then I made the decision to go farther at a quicker pace.  Swarms of mosquitos appear out of nowhere attacking my hypersensitive self to make matters worse and more dreadful than at first.  It was torturous and had never happened to me before nor anytime after.  I think about turning back again.  I continue on instead.  I believe GOD was trying to stop me, but I wouldn’t listen.  I realize now that it wasn’t GOD’s heart for me to do.  GOD doesn’t tempt us to hurt ourselves or to commit suicide and wants us to trust HIM as HE works in and through us to become who HE’s called us to be…

I understand though how someone can get so low as to commit suicide.  I don’t judge, yet I know that GOD’s heart is not for this to be the outcome…

I ended up in a field of abandoned cars.  Ironic that this is how I felt.  Abandoned.  An empty shell of my former self.  Wide open to the elements.  No more human presence.  Not able to go anymore.  Broken spirit like all the engines there.  I sat in one of the doorless vehicles contemplating for hours whether I’d take my life or not.  Then I contemplated what seemed like just minutes or seconds. 2 or 3 times got ready then decided this is it.  It was then as if the enemy of my soul took his heavy pressuring off of me as I attempted.  It was as if he pushed me to that edge.  Then I was left all alone.  So I thought.  I realize now that GOD doesn’t give up on anyone and will help us when we turn back to HIM in trust continuing to live on until HE rebuilds us… Place your trust in GOD to get you through anything by choosing to endure and persevere for there is great reward if you do…

 

I came up for air.  I realize now GOD wouldn’t let me drown, because HE had a plan for my life…  But I didn’t know it then.  GOD has a plan for a hope and a future for you too…

 

Confused.  What did I do?  I was scared.  Cursed.  Accursed?  That is how I felt.  I realize now that GOD has great compassion and enduring mercy.  HE wouldn’t abandon me like the car in the broken empty graveyard.  But I didn’t know it then.  GOD will show you great compassion and enduring mercy to the most difficult things you’ve experienced in your life…  Let HIM help you too…

 

I’m still alive.  Am I though?  I felt so lost, ashamed, and guilt ridden as I walked back.  I realize now GOD would find me, heal me, and forgive me further along the healing journey.   But I didn’t know it then.  At some point GOD will find you, heal you inside, and forgive you too if you ask HIM, seek HIM, and knock for HIM when don’t give up (took time over 19 years to experience healing of various aspects of my mind, heart, soul, and spirit). JESUS is faithful and true and I couldn’t do it on my own without HIM… HE’s brought me this far and I give HIM thanks in all things the good, the bad, and the ugly…

 

As I reached the nearest road, a person pulled over and took me to my apartment with my dad unknowing of one of the darkest moments of my life.  I was so desperate that I didn’t even tell him the seriousness of what I was dealing with.  I realize now that GOD moved on my dad’s heart to come get me traveling over 800 miles after I called my mom and let her know I wasn’t doing good.  If you need to be honest and tell someone you need help too, do it…  It’s ok when you’re feeling so very weak to get support until you’re better… Don’t wait (especially if you’re thinking of suicide and/or not eating…) It’s ok…  Getting help is being human and alive…  If you don’t have anyone, feel free to reach out to me…  Email me at:  jeffandtami@truevine.net

There are emergency numbers to call on this website as well.

To be continued…

Stars to Realize

 

Some just see the stars

I realize who they are

Reflection’s faces of worth

Recollection’s traces from birth

Resurrection’s races above earth

 

Some just see the stars

I realize Words near are now those far

Rejections here accepted there 

Redirections steer kept aware

Redemptions appear when care to share

 

Some just see the stars

I realize the tears kept above in jars

Ramifications cause certain death yet still free to shine

Ratifications pause hurtin’/ breath yet will be wholly Thine

Representations’ applause determined shibboleth let fill eternity divine

 

Some just see the stars

I realize the majestic Mystery is in Heaven’s registrar

Revealing Abraham’s descendants with faith believing

Repealing Adam’s tenants turn in repentance with hope receiving

Re-appealing Atonements residence with love conceiving 

 

Some just see the stars

I realize HE gave all to find the lost in HIS scars

Rekindling chosen sparks to live on despite faltering in it all

Reminding open hearts to give the Light reassuring to install

Rebuilding broken parts to forgive lives answering HIS call

 

See the Morning Star

I realize HE is the Author of it all so trust and believe HIM to write the rest of your memoir

Rescuing your life from demise to become wise

Redeeming your life from the lies now arise

Recommitting your life walking forward Heavenward for the prize with no disguise

 

Heavenward

Looking Heavenward to point you to the new

Things above eternal you happen into a rescue

Finding faith, hope, and love that remains

With grace, mercy, and compassion that sustains

Will you see true North’s Morning Star

Engraved in the palm of HIS hand within the scar

Your name written in the Lamb’s Book of Life secure

Your heart now open first look into becoming pure

A hope to see GOD in the near future with focus clearer

Available and willing to do HIS will as you draw nearer

Relatable so fulfilling to be still and just know HIM more

Awaiting direction to go and do the commands HE gave to restore

Shining reflection to grow as HIS feet and hands to save souls implore

Forgetting what is behind pressing on to run the race of faith the goal reach toward

Letting the Spirit lead and guide into all truth overflowing with power to teach then reward

Ocean Depths to Shore Up Freedom

 

Oceans deeper than I knew

At the surface shallow depth of blue

 

Darkness fades into black beneath

Starkest sins forgiven sink to bottom soon left bequeath

 

Touch of sun’s glow at dawn rising and dusk falling

Much unknown below of bygones; capsizing? -reach in trust calling

 

You’re not meant to carry the weight of magnetic pull to the ocean’s floor

HIS plan will bury the bait/hook/line/sinker you fell into; empathetic full motion of waves send you back to shore

 

Space where stars and moon have no access to shine no need to ever know

Grace through faith to Heaven will rise you above to see freedom from, no longer blind, to forever go

JESUS

HE holds the keys to life and death muse

HE gives the vision, purpose, and FATHER’s will to be used

HE is the Mystery unto a long life and eternity found in the clues

HE is the reason to live this life in HIS grace, mercy, and compassion outward ooze 

HE is the reason to live this life by faith, hope, and love inward soothes

HE is the reason to live this life by HIS Spirit Heavenward set on cruise

HE is the reason to die to selfish ambitions and from all the other distractions that woos

HE is the reason to die to worldly possessions now that life is found in HIM for a hope and future that continually pursues

HE is the reason to die to lust and evil desires for purity within lends itself to sincerity of love unto HIM a disciple proves

HE is protection from all the enemy’s ruse

HE provides healing to the scars of all that abused

You gain back more when withdrew from all the world to serve HIM choose

HE defends HIS own from who may accuse

HE embodies all truths

HE is the resurrected Good News

HE ignites the LIGHT of the world fuse

HE wins back all that you lose

 

To Whom It May Concern

To whom sadness casts you downward spiral; flood sows in tears when

Hold your breath so as not to drown in sudden death

HE keeps all your tears in a bottle kept in Heaven

 

To whom madness lasts, bruise inward exile, blood flows in fears often

Catch your breath to turn from suicidal death

HE frees you from fears with HIS perfect love made alive again

 

To whom badness blasts, lose backward in denial, judge woes in jeers descend

Take a breath before heading down that wrong path that leads to death

HE sees you and clears the past jeers east to west so all you are is forgiven

 

To whom callous lash out, choose outward hostile grudge, pose a threat it appears

Lose your breath for vengeance refrain from causing misled death

HE can appease your inner turmoil of anger and bitterness when HE appears to be the One to defend bringing peace within 

 

To whom gladness basks in the Good News, forward vital nudge, grows when drawn near to HIM open

Refresh new breath by the Spirit that brings new life beyond all death

HE brings a future and a hope with purpose and vision with a mission to be love now driven

When I Looked

When I was lost

I looked to faith and was found by HIM who will never leave

When I was alone

I looked to hope and found a Friend through my grief to bring within more peace

When I was in need

I looked to love of my Friend who set me free from fears that ceased

When I was desperate for change

I looked to mercy freeing from failure to be released

When I was growing

I looked to grace HE gives that lifted me above my failure to be in a family that increased

When I was helped

I looked to compassion from HIM within the family to give forward what I received

When I was newly open

I now look forward to a hope and a future conceived

When I was learning what was in HIS heart

I now look with vision of a future forthcoming where orphans find relief

When I was seeking HIS will

I now look with purpose forthcoming of Heaven filled with others who too believe

S.T.A.R.T.S. with Forgiveness

If you're overwhelmed by suicidal thoughts 
or have a plan for suicide, it is ok to
get help from a mental health professional 
for meds to help support you 
as well as counseling as you look to be hopeful again 
and better manage your precious life 
(especially if you've been abused or experienced trauma in any way)...
You're worthwhile and valuable...
I care about you!!...  Reach out to me anytime...
I want you to be an overcomer and a fighter...
L.ive O.n V.ictorious E.ndeavor
Choose L.O.V.E.; 
L.ift-up I.nspirational F.uture E.ndure
Choose L.I.F.E.

In my acronym, S.T.A.R.T.S. will mean: 

something you do…

something new you do… 

something you continue to do…

Spiritual

Truths

Activated

Renew/Restore/Replenish

Together

Soundness

What is Forgiveness?

I did not like the definition of forgive in the Merriam Webster dictionary due in part that it said “cease to feel”.  To forgive someone or yourself is more than that and also different than that.  I believe you can forgive, yet still feel the hurt and pain until a process of healing takes place over time where feelings about it begin to diminish and for some the feeling may never fully go away.  There is more hope then to have the ability to forgive if we know that feelings involved may still linger on…  The good news is that GOD is willing, available, and able to help us forgive if we are struggling with this very thing.

So I looked up the Greek word of forgive.  It is aphíēmi.  

It comes from the root word apo and híēmi.

ἀπό apó, apo’ means:

a primary particle; “off,” i.e. away (from something near), in various senses (of place, time, or relation; literal or figurative):—(X here-)after, ago, at, because of, before, by (the space of), for(-th), from, in, (out) of, off, (up-)on(-ce), since, with.

ἵημι híēmi means:

(to send; an intensive form of εἶμι eîmi, to go)

So let’s think of forgive as even just these 2 words separately (apó) and (híēmi)

If we choose apó, then we may take “off” and move “away” (from something near) in various senses (of place, time, or relation).  Then if we choose híēmi, we may “send” it away in order “to go” forward…

This is so good what to forgive does for us.

Here is what it looks like:  I forgive __________ to take “off” this hurt done to me and move “away” from it.  I “send” it away in order “to go” forward…

Here is a new way to approach an experience of forgiving as a decision made with this process now in mind to do and an action within the heart to occur:

Ex. 1

I will forgive __________ because I need to take the abuse that happened in the past “off” my life and move “away” from ___________ and that which has been so near affecting my senses (thoughts, emotions, feelings of my mind, heart, soul, and spirit wounds) where I have been haunted/fearful/anxious/angry/depressed/suicidal by certain places, time it occurred through time up until now, and in my relations with myself and others.  I “send” this abuse away to YOU GOD in order “to go” forward in new life with a new start…  Begin to heal me within…

Ex. 2

I will forgive myself because I need to take the addiction that happened in the past “off” my life and move “away” from addiction and that which has been so near affecting my senses (thoughts, emotions, feelings of my mind, heart, soul, and spirit wounds) where I have been haunted/fearful/anxious/angry/depressed/suicidal by certain places, time it occurred through time up until now, and in my relations with myself and others.  I “send” this addiction away to GOD in order “to go” forward in new life with a new start…

Ex. 3

I will forgive __________ because I need to take the rejection that happened in the past “off” my life and move “away” from the act of rejection by ___________ and that which has been so near affecting my senses (thoughts, emotions, feelings of my mind, heart, soul, and spirit wounds) where I have been haunted/fearful/anxious/angry/depressed/suicidal by certain places, time it occurred through time up until now, and in my relations with myself and others.  I “send” this rejection I’ve experienced away to GOD in order “to go” forward in new life with a new start…

When combined together, here is the meaning:

ἀφίημι aphíēmi, af-ee’-ay-mee;

from apo  G575 and ἵημι híēmi (to send; an intensive form of εἶμι eîmi, to go); to send forth, in various applications (as follow):—cry, forgive, forsake, lay aside, leave, let (alone, be, go, have), omit, put (send) away, remit, suffer, yield up.

What is allowed:

I cry.  I cry because of what ____________ has done to me.  I cry in release from _____________ in order to forgive _____________.  I cry now that _______________ has no hold on me. I cry to begin my healing journey.

I forgive__________ for what he’s done/ she’s done/ they’ve done/ I’ve done.

I can forsake my abuser/ my addiction now that I’ve forgiven.

I lay aside what was done to me by _____________ since I’ve forgiven ____________.

I leave ____________ in the past because I’ve forgiven _____________ for a new beginning.

I let alone/be/go/have what was done to me by ______________ to be in my past for I’ve forgiven _______________ and move on so my present begins healing on into my future.

I omit __________ from my life now that I’ve forgiven _____________ who no longer will have a hold on me.

I put (send) away ___________ from affecting my life any longer since I have forgiven _______________.

I remit what _____________ has cause in my life for I forgive ________________.

I suffer due to what ______________ did, but I forgive ______________  so that my suffering will let me grow in all areas to be a better person for myself and others.

I yield up ______________ to you now GOD to deal with, now that I’ve forgiven _________________.

Forgiveness then is letting go of the hurt and pain caused by another, others, or oneself:

• to start anew
• to begin the healing process
• to drop the heavy load you’ve been carrying
• to break off the hold another or others have had on you that is bringing you down
• to be free from the mental anguish, internal conflicts, and/or suicidal ideation
• to becoming more free from the emotional fears, anxieties, anger, depression in order to deal with life positively and effectively
• to allow for grieving (5 stages:  denial/isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance)
• to move on from toxic relationships
• to move on past self-harm and/or addiction
• to accept, care for, and love yourself
• to love others and have meaningful and special relationships
• to love GOD

Be Forgiven To Forgive

GOD lets us know we are all in need of ultimate forgiveness and this is accomplished by recognizing our need for our own forgiveness, asking HIM for forgiveness, and believing in and trusting in HIS SON JESUS to come into our hearts to save us and help us live a new life:

²² This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, ²³ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ²⁴ and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.²⁵ God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement,^[i] through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished— ²⁶ he did it to demonstrate his righteousness at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.  Romans 3: 22-26

You may be afraid to come to the LORD because of your own sin (it is too much, your guilt is to heavy, and your shame is unbearable), yet HE wants you to come and be forgiven:

19 Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,  Acts 3:19

18 “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.  Isaiah 1:18

12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.  Psalm 103:12

How can you know for sure you’re forgiven and saved:

But what does it say? “The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,” that is, the message concerning faith that we proclaim:

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. Romans 10:8-10

Who is forgiveness for:

for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”  Romans 10:13

John 3:16-17

¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. ¹⁷ For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

GOD in HIS Word tells us to forgive others:

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

3 So watch yourselves. “If your brother or sistersins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. 4 Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”  Luke 17:3-4

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.  Ephesians 4:31-32

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

What happens when you forgive as GOD wants you to?  You are still angry about what the person/people have done?  GOD says in HIS Word that HE will deal with that person/people:

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.  Romans 12:19

After accepting JESUS and now being forgiven, what happens if I sin again not wanting to.  Every Believer is going to sin after receiving JESUS as LORD and Savior.  Because of your relationship being reconciled to GOD, you are now able to confess your sin to HIM and not hide it.  HE will forgive you and purify you when turning back to HIM with a repentant heart desiring for restored relationship.  Then walk again being forgiven.

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

This is in no way a license to continue sinning purposefully or in pride thinking HE won’t deal with it at some point.  HE will convict us of our sin by HIS Spirit and we will need to turn in repentance with humility.  If we are prideful and continue sinning, HE will humble us.

Hebrews 12:4-7

God Disciplines His Children

⁴ In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. ⁵ And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
    and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
⁶ because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
    and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”^[a]

⁷ Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children…

Hebrews 4:15-16

¹⁵ For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. ¹⁶ Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Examples of Forgiveness

You may have a family member or close friend that wronged you in some way, but you don’t want GOD to repay with a vengeance. Can you forgive someone close to you and pray that GOD would have mercy on them?

Yes!  A resounding yes…

Read about Moses, after getting the Ten Commandments, was told by GOD that HIS people HE rescued out of slavery from Egypt, had made an idol to worship instead of remembering GOD and what HE had done for them.  GOD was ready to punish them and said HE would put them to death and start over.  Moses prayed and asked GOD to not hold it against them and to remember HIS covenant and what HE had done to deliver HIS people.  GOD listened to Moses and relented.

You may have a family member/members that wronged you in some way and GOD will use you to bring about good for the one or all involved.  There may be a future story of you being used of GOD to rescue, restore, provide, or protect in some way.

Read about Joseph who was mistreated and rejected by his brothers, sold into slavery, and then rise to leadership by Pharaoh in Egypt.  GOD used Joseph to save his family from a widespread famine and ultimately forgive his brothers of their wrongdoing accepting them and their families with places to live in Egypt.

You may have been used by a sibling that took from your parent in some way and you received nothing or less than.

Read about when Esau Forgives Jacob after Jacob returns during a long time away from Esau.  Jacob had fled when he learned Esau wanted to kill him for taking away his birthright and then later took his father’s blessing away from Esau as well.

You may have sinned greatly causing much harm to yourself and another/others.  You are discouraged and don’t know if GOD will forgive “this”.

Read about David and Bathsheba where David sees her bathing and sends messenger for her to come and lay with him.  He finds out she becomes pregnant while her husband Uriah is out fighting in the war.  He tries to cover up his offense at Uriah’s expense.  When Uriah is not cooperative with David’s plan, David orders that Uriah be put on the front lines and then have the army withdraw so that he dies.  Nathan confronts David about his sin.  David turns to the LORD in repentance and asks for forgiveness.  GOD forgives David, but there are consequences for his selfish sin.  Now the child they conceived together dies.  GOD restores David and blesses him and Bathsheba when HE allows them to bear another son named Solomon.

Focus For Forgiveness

Here is a model prayer to pray to GOD for forgiveness from extreme guilt and shame of the greatest of sin we may have committed:

Psalm 51

For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

¹ Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
² Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin.

³ For I know my transgressions,
    and my sin is always before me.
⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned
    and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
    and justified when you judge.
⁵ Surely I was sinful at birth,
    sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
⁶ Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
    you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

⁷ Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
    wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
⁸ Let me hear joy and gladness;
    let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
⁹ Hide your face from my sins
    and blot out all my iniquity.

¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

¹³ Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
    so that sinners will turn back to you.
¹⁴ Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
    you who are God my Savior,
    and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
¹⁵ Open my lips, Lord,
    and my mouth will declare your praise.
¹⁶ You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
    you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
¹⁷ My sacrifice, O God, is^[b] a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart
    you, God, will not despise.

¹⁸ May it please you to prosper Zion,
to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
¹⁹ Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
in burnt offerings offered whole;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.

Power of Forgiveness

I have been changed by GOD’s forgiveness of my many sins.  I have learned from HIM by HIS extending to me forgiveness through HIS grace, mercy, and compassion.  Because of this change that has taken place within me, I am more apt to extend grace to others, to show mercy with cheerfulness, to listen with compassion, and to readily encourage others who need this.  I know HIS love more for me and I am able to love HIM and others in return.  I am now able to forgive others quickly and it be a regular response I have, since I was forgiven of so many sins, failures, and poor decisions in my own life.

Then one of the Pharisees asked Him to eat with him. And He went to the Pharisee’s house, and sat down to eat. And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, and stood at His feet behind Himweeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil. Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, “This Man, if He were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner.”

Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.” “Tell me, teacher,” he said. “Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.” “You have judged correctly,” Jesus said.

Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven–as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?” Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”  Luke 7:36-50

I so love this story of JESUS forgiving this distraught woman who so powerfully showed love to HIM…  A person who is forgiven much loves much!  When you’re forgiven, you become a more loving person to GOD and to others…

Science of Forgiveness

Click the link below and read the full review about Forgiveness:

Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley: Forgiveness

The Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley covers the following topics:

What is Forgiveness?  Why Practice It?  How Do I Cultivate It?  

It is well worth the read and has science based research about forgiveness.

Here is some of the information from the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley:

What Is Forgiveness?  

We can learn about it from what forgiveness is not:

• it’s not glossing over or denying the seriousness of the offense against you
• it’s not having to forget the offense nor accepting/excusing the offense as ok/right
• it’s not having to reconcile with the person who harmed you especially in the case of abuse
• it’s not releasing them from legal accountability in the case of severe wrongs

Why Practice It?  

Here are just a few benefits:

• makes us happier
• protects our mental health
• improves our health
• sustains relationships
• good for marriages
• boosts kindness and connectedness

How Do I Cultivate It?

Here are just a few ways:

• it’s something you do for you, not a gift for someone else (though I do believe you can also gift someone with forgiveness if your heart is to reconcile or help them too)
• express your emotions to yourself and to others
• consider what you’ve learned from what happened to you -if there has been something positive gained from it
• practice empathy
• practice mindfulness of hurt feelings to choose forgiveness more readily
• understand forgiveness is a process

S.T.A.R.T.S. with Pouring Out Your Heart

If you're overwhelmed by suicidal thoughts 
or have a plan for suicide, it is ok to
get help from a mental health professional 
for meds to help support you 
as well as counseling as you look to be hopeful again 
and better manage your precious life 
(especially if you've been abused or experienced trauma in any way)...
You're worthwhile and valuable...
I care about you!!...  Reach out to me anytime...
I want you to be an overcomer and a fighter...
L.ive O.n V.ictorious E.ndeavor
Choose L.O.V.E.; 
L.ift-up I.nspirational F.uture E.ndure
Choose L.I.F.E.

 

 

In my acronym, S.T.A.R.T.S. will mean: 

something you do…

something new you do… 

something you continue to do…

 

Spiritual

Truths

Activated

Renew/Restore/Replenish

Together

Soundness

 

The Cambridge Dictionary states that:

pour your  heart out

​to tell someone your secret feelings and things that worry you, usually because you feel a strong need to talk about them

 

The Free Dictionary by Farlex states further that:

pour your heart out

To share one’s deepest or most intimate emotions, thoughts, or secrets, especially in a profuse or sudden manner.

express your deepest feelings or thoughts in a full and unrestrained way.

Our Need

With being human, we all need an outlet to release our thoughts and emotions in a constructive manner that will ultimately benefit us with sharing such things with someone rather than keeping it all within – “bottled up” per say.

A bad attitude toward life may be due to holding within bitterness toward a person who has wronged us or toward difficult life event/s without ever dealing with the thoughts and emotions that accompany it.

Depression personally may be due to holding within anger toward self, anger and grief about missed opportunities, or anger and grief about difficult life circumstances (including loss of a loved one) that have happened over time.

Ways of Expression for Sweet Release

My favorite way to pour out my heart is through writing poetry and sharing my hurts, disappointments, difficulties, and sadness with GOD HIMSELF in learning to trust HIM to use hardships, trials, and tribulations to build within me faith and strong character.  I allow HIM to mold me into a better person through it all.

If I kept everything in without talking about it and dealing with it, I would go back into deep depression that I experienced as a youth. I once kept everything in.  I didn’t talk.  I was a loner for the most part, with only a few friends.  All my thoughts and emotions were locked away.  What I experienced because of this was anger inside, anger at life, mistrust of people, and really being a hateful person.  It was a detriment to me personally.  What if I had someone to talk to about what I dealt with instead of going it alone.  I didn’t have a relationship with GOD, at the time, who would have listened to me and helped me had I known I could turn to HIM for HIS care and support.  Life is difficult enough without having to also deal with unresolved and negative thoughts and emotions weighing heavily on the mind, heart, soul, and spirit.

A river needs to have an outlet to move along in forward motion as rains fill it to overflowing.  A river whose outlet is the ocean finds release from the pressure that otherwise builds up as in the case if a dam was built to contain it.

Our minds need an outlet for our thoughts, our hearts need to have an outlet for our emotions to move along forward in this life, our souls need to have an outlet to share hopes and dreams, and our spirit needs an outlet to connect to JESUS and our future in eternity…

If we don’t have an outlet, then negativity backs up, builds up pressure, causes one to erupt at some point with damaging consequences that may include suicidal thoughts and/or suicide attempts as an extreme measure seemingly forced into.  It simply becomes too much to handle and the stress is now too overwhelming.

Who To Turn To

If you have a close friend to talk to about anything and everything, consider yourself blessed to have that special someone in your life.  Not everyone has that.

Going to a counselor to help sort through life’s baggage that may include depression, mental illness, suicidal ideation, abuse, and/or trauma can bring breakthroughs in your life as you face these giants head on and learn to overcome and heal from the hurts you’ve experienced. It takes time, sometimes a very long time to see results.

I have my wife who is my helpmate for sure and can listen to a certain extent.  Yet, I don’t have that one guy in my life that I can talk with, be accountable to, and share my burdens I experience through life.

If you’re like me and need someone other than your spouse or a counselor, then GOD is the relationship you are to establish that can change everything in a positive direction…

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.  Isaiah 9:6

JESUS is the Wonderful Counselor who fills that deep seated need for support and encouragement we all need…

JESUS is Mighty GOD who fills the role of Protector and a Defense against our enemies…

JESUS is Everlasting FATHER who fills the role giving us the love and provision we need…

JESUS is Prince of Peace who fills the role of giving HIS peace within us to deal with anything that comes our way…

Pour Out Your Heart to GOD

Pouring out your heart to GOD is the single most beneficial thing you can do in your life.  He listens and understands.  JESUS, when HE came to earth as one of us (human too), experienced every type of temptation, stress, emotions, and thoughts yet was without sin. After HE died on the cross to satisfy GOD’s wrath, overcome death, deal with our enemies including satan, and to deal with and forgive our sin, HE became our High Priest who understands our weaknesses, daily bears our burdens, and prays for us.  HE knows and understands us more than anyone else can.

 

Pouring out your heart to GOD = extreme closeness to the heart of GOD

David, a shepherd boy, who later became the king of GOD’s people  is known as a man after GOD’s own heart.  Do you know why he was a man after GOD’s own heart.  David turned to GOD whenever he was dealing with life’s ups and downs and poured out his heart to HIM.  He wasn’t perfect and sinned in terrible ways.  So why then was he still a man after GOD’s own heart.  He made many mistakes, yet he turned to GOD quickly and asked for forgiveness and desired the relationship to be restored.  When good happened in his life, he turned to GOD and gave HIM thanks.  David is the author of many of the Psalms in the Bible.  If you want examples of pouring out your heart to GOD, you can read through the Psalms which are heartfelt pouring out of emotions and thoughts that were burdensome to bear and deeply troubling to heartfelt pouring out of emotions and thoughts expressing gratitude.

 

I highly recommend getting a spiral notebook or other journal and begin the process of pouring out your heart of all its emotions and thoughts, hopes and dreams, failures and successes, and deepest needs expressed to GOD and you will be radically changed for the better by doing so…  Share your thoughts with HIM, cast your cares and anxieties onto HIM from your heart, bare your soul to HIM, and send up flares from your spirit unto HIM…  As you do so over time, things will begin to transform within you through development of your seeking relationship with your Creator who knows all things, knows you, knows what you need and yet wants you to just talk to HIM…

 

Pouring out your heart to GOD is a way of delighting in HIM… There is a wonderful promise to receive when we do this…

 

Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

As I have delighted in the LORD, HE has given me some desires of my heart already:

* a wife

* children

* inspiration to write (mostly poetry)

* deliverance from fears and anxieties and being suicidal

* help and support with my mental illness (more of a sound mind and peace within)

* an orphan ministry

* ability to serve with children as one of my passions

* a heart of compassion with ability to show mercy with cheerfulness and to encourage others

* desire to be a pastor

Psalm 62:5-8

⁵ Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
⁶ Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
⁷ My salvation and my honor depend on God^[a];
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
⁸ Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.

 

 

 

Once~Then~Thankful

Once so crumbling devastated

Then to be humbly elevated

Thankful for HIS grace…

 

Once so broken inside fragmented pieces

Then to have faith’s security, hope’s clarity, and love’s sincerity that increases

Thankful for HIS mercy…

 

Once so trapped in the deepest pit

Then to have the fortitude to never quit

Thankful for HIS compassion…

 

Once so alone in shock doubting and questioning all of reality in total darkness

Then to be brought near to HIM contrite into the Light rescued so my mind works with new ability and noble sparked interests

Thankful for HIS giving me faith…

 

Once so wavering in turmoil thought I’d been tossed out to sea with Heaven now closed

Then to be set free with destination in fact now open forevermore so my soul alert to HIS faithfulness knows

Thankful for HIS giving me hope…

 

Once so fearful, empty, selfish, and filled with self-hatred 

Then to be at peace, fully restored, reaching out, and overflowing fulfillment so my hearts desires come true of its longing created for, awaited for, and elated for the sacred

Thankful for HIS giving me love…

 

Once so weak sinking beneath the pressure and stress anxiously in agony left to my malady of bankruptcy almost a tragedy

Then in renewed strength rising above accepting my spirit beyond measure to profess consciously in cadency my testimony of amnesty about HIS remedy

Thankful for HIS giving HIS Spirit reuniting mine…

Suicidal Thoughts Not a Sin

Mine or yours having fierce suicidal thoughts are not a sin in its reoccurring more than meditation

Mine or yours having fierce suicidal thoughts are a battle we can win enduring the onslaught and persevering until disaster passes without retaliation

My frontline reality is fighting beyond suicidal ideation into dreams desires for realization

My focus centrality is encouraging all to make it out within HIS remediation

My frame of reference is faith, hope, and love to abound from the Creator to HIS creation

My family I live for so I continue to press on with determination

My faith is that I don’t live for myself alone, but unto HIM in adoration

My freedom is to live pure to be secure in God the FATHER’s hands for the SON’s traits rebuilding within this clay as HIS formation

 

I know some will overcome every moment into freedom in the future with just being blood bought

I know some will succumb to its’ warring thoughts, yet with faith as small as a mustard seed will put trust in HIM continually knowing its not for nought

I know some will be numb from the scarring its wrought, yet rise above into new life after whats fraught

I know some will come to know JESUS once sparring alone to discover who helps in the battles fought

I know some will become found to enter in HIM after the jarring being stuck as HE lifts up with compassion from the pit caught

I know some will be from outer darkness until starring with HIM from mercy inward being taught

I know some will fall seven times and rise again 8, since each turn for help is hope and strength in HIM having sought

I know some will face their giants with grace until each one is slain to stand above the onslaught

 

Questions

What do I need to do

To get you through

The hardest part of living

 

What do I need to prove

To lead you to what is new into

The hardest heart I’m giving

 

When will you believe

In order to receive

A purpose centered on mission as focused vision within Living Water overflow

 

When will you perceive

In order to conceive

Grace, mercy, and compassion given from above into your below

 

Why do you doubt 

Theres a better way out

To live with faith, hope, and love beyond measure

 

Why do you shout

To who doesn’t already know what it’s all about

A homecoming for your soul HE has sought, He has bought, He has wrought as precious treasure

 

Where are you going

Closed shut blowing in the wind for you could be drawn in openhanded

Receive a place all your own with healing for the pain

 

Where are you growing

Closed shut above the ground for you could be drawn in to be planted

Though you die, new life will sprout appealing to what you’ll gain

 

How are you on your own

Fending for yourself unknown

Hiding until almost dying; question lie inside -fights the nights without light

 

How will you be if not alone

Defending your soul on HIS throne

Abiding until foremost arriving in Heaven beside guide -delights to ride on the heights

All You Need

If you don’t listen to what I say

I pray

HE will meet you in the middle of the night

More than a dream come true

Proving HE is real I already knew

 

That HE may speak peace be still it’s ok

You pray

To receive HIM into your heart giving you new life inside with HIS Light

Giving what you need now so much more than before when you had no clue

With access to mercy new every morning like the dew

 

Only HE can save

Lay down HIS life for the lost and stray

HE is the answer to everyone’s plight

HE will come again and find you

Even if you walked away or just withdrew

 

Draw near and HE draws near to stay

Until faith, hope, and love within you remain

With broken spirit heart contrite

HE will accept you back HIS faithfulness to prove

HE will empower you to overcome all that you need to

Listen to Respond

Silence speaks more than my words

Would you listen if you really heard

Depths of their meaning truth absurd?

If only knew the change that occurred

Perceive, believe, receive, achieve together

Faith, hope, and love do remain forever

Grace, mercy, and compassion help in life’s endeavor

Turn away again and again to only falter

Reasons why to stay hidden rather not holler

Give up, pass it by, go it alone, on the fence totter

Unstable like severity of weather listen close… don’t scatter

Reaching out to those broken and scar tattered

And those storm tossed and raging waves battered

Letting you know you truly matter

There’s a Savior who’ll accept you as you are and give you Living Water

There’s a Heavenly Father to adopt a son or daughter

You’ll be chosen and accepted as HIS precious treasure

To be known by name forgiven and loved beyond all measure…

HE takes you the clay in HIS hands as the Potter

Would mold your life into something beautiful… better…

Nothing in this life from HIS grasp will ever sever… Never…

You’ll make it to where you need to be beyond the stressful pressure…

There’s more to life remember, so listen to respond for a new life to enter…

 

 

 

Saves

YOU save all kinds

Love seeks finds

Love casts fears aside

Love enters more inside

Love restores to realign

Love redeems lives redesign

Love refreshes every time

Love within reflects outshine

Love stays forever binds

Love proves true if abide

Love comes through, breakthroughs anew, and will for you too…

Light Posts

This poem is from my new post Stand at beavoicefororphans (my other blog that you may or may not follow) that you can read in full.  We take a stand against sexual violence…

 

Hidden for only you child hurting for healing to find will find; entering within faith, hope, and love so kind

Quicken for only you child to receive grace, mercy, and compassion combined to bind together with miracles designed to remind of HIS greater Love to you inclined…

Forbidden is sex abuse, incest, pornography, sex trafficking, rape defined

Ridden by GOD Almighty of abusers, incest perpetrators, pornographers, traffickers, and rapists confined

Stricken by GOD Almighty with HIS HOLY terror, PURE fury, All POWERFUL attack, STRONG DEFENSE infiltrate, and WARRIOR FIGHT against these sinners in the hands of an angry GOD quarantined in agony resigned

 

Light posts

At the start

At the end

Turn on shine

As night fall

 

Inspire most

Love impart

To you send

Burn within entwine

For insight call

 

Where darkness pervades all around

Stay where the Light cascades until found

Until sun’s rays fades the black

Dawn of a new day lays foundation back

 

Come home

From above chart

Course to mend

Time to unwind

Be contrite stall

 

Rest alone

Retune one’s heart

With Him to tend

Soul He does find

To dine with your all

 

Where darkness pervades all around

Stay where the Light cascades until abound

Until sun’s rays fades the black

Dawn of a new day lays foundation on track

 

Alive; atone

Near now from afar

Healing begin open

No longer left behind

Builds up aright Refuge walls

 

Arrive; shown

Promised land correlate your star

Defeat enemies who contend; always will HE defend

Made stronger in HIS will aligned

Guides through breakthrough fight the good fight past what appalls

 

Where darkness pervades all around

Stay where the Light cascades be still in HIS renown

Until sun’s rays fades the black

Dawn of a new day lays foundation in covenant contact

Times

Time is on our side

Some will say

But is it? Delay decay…

Time is in HIS hands

Yesterdays, todays, and tomorrows

This is for sure -I know Who helps us through our sorrows…

We aren’t promised tomorrow at any time

In fact

There’s no going back.  Or can we?  Pack?  Step into a time machine hijack?

No, odds are stacked against us and left us out of whack -but we can take time to remember, reminisce, revisit again whereas only HE can turn back the hands of time to redeem…

Though older

There is youth regret with desire to start over

We can start over and with time become much wiser

There’s no getting younger age wise to retract

There is backtrack to ask for forgiveness white as snow to be exact

Time stands still

Love can do that;  become young at heart to keep intact facing the facts head on -make a comeback

However brief and for however long is its lifelong impact…

There’s still time

For love to carry on

Choose to make a difference before its gone

Time is of the essence

Find love in HIS Presence

Be filled up with overflowing cup upon a mountain top experience

Time is a healer;  heals all wounds

Come back down into the valley of the shadow

To help our fellow brother or sister below…  Death may come fast, all of a sudden, and everybody know or occur solo so slow -either way let love show…

Time flies when you’re having fun

So time dies when you’re not -no, it’s for faith inside to grow… hope inside to know… love inside reaching out to bestow…

Faith, hope, and love remains as HE alone sustains wherever we are and wherever we go…

Time changes everything

We are changed, it’s true, as we walk along

Changed by the sadness and bitterness or changed to maturity ongoing with each new dawn…

Running out of time

Make moments count even so

An eternal fount awaits beyond the rainbow

At times, let go of time constraints

Enjoy the still and quiet silence or choose opposite of any violence toward others or yourself; begin a new endeavor

A goal may be to get through whatever the weather; give up never, yet ready for forever…

Time to come in

Come in from the cold -no longer alone;  come bold to the throne of grace to obtain grace and mercy in times of need until found a home; come hold on until the disaster passes over -out of the war zone

Rest your weary soul in HIM; bought at a price not your own…

Time is now

Act in such a way to bring honor, glory, and praise to our Creator

Best to do so sooner, better late than never, or miss out all together later

Time to go

On a trip of adventure ready for departure

Make lasting memories to capture ever ready to really leave this earth with the rapture

It’s time

Time to know the Way, the Truth, and the Life

So that your time eternally is spent in Heaven beyond internal sin, death’s sentence, pain and sickness, screaming solo, and negative strife

This time…

I live not for myself alone

I’m here for who I love;  making HIM known…

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

A Time for Everything

3 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

Up, Close, and Personal

Wake up…

Turn around!

You found the way to be…

Break up…

Fallow ground!

You found the way through the deep…

Take up…

Cross found!

You found the way beneath…

Shake up…

Love abound!

You found the way to free…

Listen close…

Fall down!

You found the truth to heed…

Decision close…

Stand ground!

You found the truth to keep…

Vision close…

Plan astound!

You found the truth to see…

Arisen close…

Walk expound!

You found the truth to lead…

Forgive personal…

Mercy surround!

You found the life to intercede…

Give personal…

Compassion renown!

You found the life in deed…

Outlive personal…

Grace resound!

You found the life to supersede…

Determinative personal…

Faith, hope, and love profound

You found the life to bleed…

Will Find

Faith will find a way

Find a way to hold on

Walk In the race until agree to run

Tend to while fighting the good fight

Hope will find a way

Find a way to carry on

To taste and see what HE has won

Send igniting into the night within the Light

Love will find a way

Find a way to overcome

To embrace and receive the SON

When delighting desires become set aright

Grace will find a way

Find a way to soar above

Through every storm have sufficiency enough

Lend Mighty Right Hand uplift for HIS vision in sight

Mercy will find a way

Find a way through push and shove

Cover over, found beneath, until arise a diamond in the rough

Defend as High Priest if broken and contrite

Compassion will find a way

Find a way to lift others up

Fill to overflowing my empty cup

Again and again give what’s needed beyond the fright of any plight

Faith will find the truth

Find the truth that sets free

Set free in the SON indeed

Abide in HIM to grow

Hope will find the truth

Find the truth to hold and keep

Debts paid move forward always believe

Guide into the Light reflect to show

Love will find the truth

Find the truth to just be 

Let it enter in daily to receive

Subside the fears, until cast aside, for love to forever know

Grace will find the truth

Find the truth to speak

Fret not to take a stand against the enemy

Decide to be in HIS will with seed for the sower to sow

Mercy will find the truth

Find the truth to grieve

Get back up no longer deceived

Hide under shelter of HIS wings until an arrow in HIS bow

Compassion will find the truth

Find the truth for others reach

Forget not where you came from with their pain conceive

Arrive on the scene to resuscitate no matter the injury or how far they’ve fallen below

Faith will find the life

Find the life few will find, even so, choose to breathe

Leapt to discover what only HE can do with me

Tried as gold refined by fire seven times aglow

Hope will find the life

Find the life with desires come to fruition when unto HIM heed

Secrets of HIS Heavenly wisdom enter in to succeed

Ride on the heights to newly dream to where HE leads go

Love will find the life

Find the life to do the same sincerely

Kept in HIS grips equipped meek and holy

Wide, long, high, and deep is this love of Christ that overflows

Grace will find the life

Extending to reach any in need with HIS wings beneath

Regrets left behind press on for Heavenward’s prize to seek

Died to sin made alive in Christ to walk the straight and narrow

Mercy will find the life

Find the life I don’t deserve because HE heard my pleas

Outlet for others to come to know HIM from their chains be released

Beside HIM open to be who I’m meant to be pure as white snow

Compassion will find the life

Find the life to become compassion perceived to those in need

Interprets what to pray and then stretch out hand for healing to relieve

Confide in HIM here and now into eternity ever ready to understand however many tomorrows bestow

Sneak Peek

Sneak peek critique interpret

Peak interest in HIS Mystique infinity;  accept accrue identity

Friends of faith (pre-requisite) didn’t give up and quit

Pleas rise from your infirmity

Let down as a paralytic

HE speaks inside the Word spoken a remedy

Your sins HE forgives quick

Release -pick up your mat and walk in HIS affinity

Sneak peek critique desperate

Peak interest in HIS Mystique willingly;  accept true identity

You’re your own worst critic

Knees bend broken and contrite what pleases HIM to see

Agree to receive your get out of jail free ticket

East to West free from Your sins cast beneath to bottom of the sea

HE breaks your chains to forgive to forget it 

Lease new life as tears fall in salinity

HE stands at the door to unlock it

Keys for a hope and a future in eternity 

Not just the present of whats left in your pocket

Flees the fear within into HIS perfect love intimately

Sneak peek critique interpret

Peak interest in HIS Mystique imminently;  accept new identity

Are you HIS own worst cynic

Esteem HIM not unclearly, may be afraid and weary, maybe blame and leery, may be contrary and angry merely

Don’t believe, understand, or agree because of all the hypocrites

Deed to your life won’t you give over to your deepest need for a Savior who bleeds love sincerely

Faith sought as HE dies for you on a cross like a criminal mimic, yet innocent grit and bear it to remit

Lead to the tomb after buried 3 days became empty

Hope caught up for HE is victorious over death arise to win it

Heed HIS voice to come follow the Way, the Truth, and the Life in synchronicity

Love brought about when HE gave HIS very life in pursuit of your mind, heart, soul, and spirit

Believe in HIS Name, conceive that your soul is HIS treasure, perceive that HE paid the price for it if you just receive

HE weaves faith, hope, and love to rescue, restore, and redeem every second and every minute

Renew with your mind to know HIS will complete

See with your heart to delight in HIM for desires to be relit

Breathe with your soul to dream a new dream

Soar by HIS Spirit (a deposit within for Heaven guarantee) with vision and purpose pure and legit

See with and walk by faith in the Trinity