Archive for the ‘family’ Category

YOU were there when I fell in the deepest pit of utter black darkness wraith of hope depressed

YOU were there when I laid down and could barely sit up to muster any faith to cope in my mess

YOU were there when I was a shell of emptiness with shallow breath as evidence not sure whether I’d ever have steps to be deft again or mend even from your nurturing obligations

YOU were there when I was in hell of loneliness like a death sentence, but you never left as I wept and hardly slept in weakness rend often to descend furthering complications

YOU were there in my broken brokenness lost in strife

YOU were there to awaken awareness into new life

YOU were there to believe for me when I couldn’t just be

YOU were there to perceive YOU’d free when I wouldn’t trust Thee

YOU were there when I couldn’t do anything

YOU were there to pull me through everything

YOU were there to encourage and rebuke readily

YOU were there to give reassurance resolute steadily

YOU were there until we were a growing family

YOU were there to fulfill that we were overflowing avidly

YOU were there when I was lost, then amazed by YOU found with YOUR grace, mercy, and compassion all around no longer the same without any shame

I am here because YOU counted the cost, and raised me up off the ground with purpose, vision, and a future with passion to abound now stronger for YOUR Name renown to proclaim

Mistakes that I had made

Low self-esteem, empty, ashamed

No identity yet, solo, afraid

High school, one date came, I’m to blame

Still recognize her face and remember her name

Monday came; she stood there waiting, locked gaze in suspended time, then walked away because I couldn’t respond as if in a daze

I pray she knows HIS love all her days…

~

Mistakes I dare to share

Open up not sure she’d even care

Return the favor listening, revealing all unaware

College, first relationship, burdens to bear

Found solace for a short time so rare

She had to leave across the sea and I let go too scared

I pray she finds HIM suddenly out of no where

~

Mistakes I regret

Awkward, unsure, how to interpret

Searching for identity unkept

College, second relationship, just met

A whirlwind transpires;  I easily make her upset

She gave it one last chance;  I hurt her heart and can’t forget

I pray she experiences HIS joy each day on reset

~

Mistakes of getting too close without commitment

Except our faith in GOD, we’d abstain from being intimate

Taking a chance after my suicide attempt and mental illness onset

Singles group in church, third relationship, her a divorcee with a daughter, could we reinvent

GOD would make it clear we weren’t meant to be in marriage represent

She was saddened, but moved on to start her own family circumvent

I pray she always has HIS encouragement and a love for HIM that’s fervent

~

Through all my mistakes I came to find HIM anew

My refocus in relationship with HIM intertwined with her and grew

Drawn together as we served HIS children in love’s purpose pure and true

Times well spent with each other set in motion HIS will to pursue

It is evident we were meant to be a family within HIS faith, hope, and love through and through

She has fought to win battles with the enemy as revealed by scars and wounds

She has fought to win battles for me in the midst of my darkest hours now removed

She has fought to win battles for herself of declined health faithful to be there for our children proved

I pray she feels HIS love through me continually, reveals HIS love through our children repeatedly, conceals within HIS love fully to share assuredly, and kneels with me in awe of what the LORD has done mercifully in Heaven one day and then walk together as best friends for all eternity…