Archive for the ‘endure’ Category

Broken Dream Until Mended Reality

Posted: April 11, 2021 in battles, believe, broken dream, compassion, confidence, counsel, darkness, Death, depression, direction, Dream, dreams, encourage, endure, faith, faithfulness, fears, fills our cup, focus, forgiveness, Freedom, future, God, grace, guidance, HE makes all things new, healing, heart, heaven, HIS Life, HIS Love, HIS Presence, HIS Spirit, HIS Truth, HIS will, HIS WORD, Hope, inspiration, Jesus, Life, life and blessing, Light, live, Love, meant to be, mental illness, mercy, mind, move forward, new, new life, nightmares, open door, paths of righteousness, peace, persevere, Poems, pouring out your heart, pressing on, promises, pure, purpose, redemption, regret, renew, rescue, rest, restore, Resurrection, revive, reward, setting us free, shame, sins, soar, soul, Spirit, suicidal, suicidal ideation, suicidal thoughts, Suicide, tears, the Way, the Truth, and the Life, time, Trust, truth, vision, walk again, weary and heavy burdened, wisdom
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There is grace for every broken dream

Onward walk to continue being

Onward unseen until mended reality seeing

Onward forward steps keep repeating

Onward go on for you’re worth your heart beating

Onward becoming who you’re meant to be rather than retreating or worse yet leaving

Onward knowing HE lives at the right hand of GOD with scars for you interceding

Onward heeding HIS voice of encouraging to continue enduring and persevering even if for now it’s just breathing

On HIM always lean…

~

Press on rather than regress despite feeling depressed

Pass the test to go on beyond the trials and tribulations that oppress

Continue with faith in the SON for making progress

Continue to hope in HIM to find rest

Continue in HIS love which is greatest and will work out what is best

Choose life and blessing over death and cursing that HE died to give you as your inspiring and motivating quest

Draw near to HIM and HE will draw nearer sincerest as you pour out your heart to HIM in confidence rather than those feelings just suppress

Reassess life as a maturing process, mess of sin with guilt and shame confess to find forgiveness, and then will profess HIS evidence realized further along life’s journey of HIS faithfulness

Focus is more when there is less…

~

Less to not weigh you down in fear replaced by HIS love held dear

Less worry in your heart found in HIM who makes it disappear

Less weary chasing after empty success that falls aground like tears

Less willful of your own plans that fail here

Less want of the world’s lust wandering into sin that causes pain and torment so severe

Less wasting away in your illness with HIS acceptance of all that you are by caring for yourself to improve mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health adhere

Less wavering in unbelief by simply believing HE will turn your life around with HIS patience and gentleness steer

Less wondering about what ifs of the past that HE uses in your future to help others made more clear

Less while HE becomes more to you during your extended years

~

More faith in HIS truth so you’re no longer unruly that will no longer duly offend

More hope and trust in HIS ways you can truly depend on now that you’re newly opened

More love in HIS life abiding to be a light shining in darkness to give freely and often

More mercy from HIS healing throne of Heaven that is new every morning sent

More compassion from HIS heart to listen to others vent -even from suicide may prevent

More grace from HIS hand to lead and guide you along righteous paths that will leave no regret in retrospect

More of HIS Spirit welcoming within who will comfort you with HIS Presence, counsel you with HIS wisdom, and care for your well-being with moans expressed according to GOD’s will for your life when words of prayer fail to connect

More delighting in HIM to be given the desires of your heart meant to mend your dreams again made relevant where nightmares can’t circumvent

More freedom will come after suffering through a set timeframe where to live is Christ and to die is gain that is effective when wait on GOD’s timing and not your own as you wait to resurrect into HIS arms as Heaven’s resident

~

Wait on HIM for new strength returning to soar above the storms on eagle’s wings freeing

Wait on HIM for renewing your mind with truth until having soundness of peace releasing

Wait on HIM for reviving your heart recreating within purity and right desires brought back into the land of the living reconvening

Wait on HIM for rescue unto redemption forthcoming that will restore your soul and implore within you vision, purpose, and meaning that’s increasing

Wait on HIM for refilling your cup to overflowing until refreshing your spirit into HIS will agreeing and being a doer of HIS Word unleashing

Wait on HIM watching as HE wins every battle in your war raging against the enemy who attempts at deceiving

Wait on HIM to direct your steps through open doors revealing

Wait on HIM for HIS promises open handed toward until receiving

Wait on HIM for complete healing that makes you whole whether here on earth or there in Heaven as the great reward for continually believing

Where Would I Be?  Had I Not Known…

Now I have faith, hope, and love to be shown…

And the WORD of HIS Way, Truth, and Life as seeds to be sown…

To walk the straight and narrow until Heaven’s my home…

 

Had to lose myself so weak

To find out who I’m meant to be in HIM set free

 

Had to fall into insanity

To regain a sound mind who has HIS peace opposite of vanity

 

Had to die to selfishness then to self brevity

To arise again who knows HIS reality

 

Had to wander on my own

To learn by faith going HIS Way I’m not alone

 

Had to cast my cares and anxieties upon HIM ongoing interrupt

To endure and persevere with hope for HIS grace, mercy, and compassion showing up

 

Had to seek HIM in the darkness with so much doubt

To trust in HIM as the Light who leads the way out

 

Had to face the giant of fear

To receive HIS love when near until fear would disappear

 

Have to share my testimony no longer lost in sin and lonely

To make JESUS known my destiny -made stronger in HIM only

What to think for starters

Live life like martyrs

At first it may seem harder

So let GOD part the water farther

Walk on across fears border

Until you reach HIM as the rewarder

Then offer self daily

Faith driven embracing

Hope given for lives raising

Give love unfailing

Begin the trail blazing

Find HIS grace amazing

Discover purpose to die for

With service apply toward

Eyes with vision more

Mind with wisdom implore

Heart with mission adore

Soul with decisions restore

Spirit with precision soar

Each day mercy is new

So a start over is true

Every storm pass through

More thankful for skies blue

Look to realize how you grew

Love one another as HIS disciple prove

May die many deaths

Take in and out plenty breaths

Forgiven East to West

Looking Heavenward is best

Choose purity to be blessed

Faith filled to pass each test

Come to HIM in need of rest

Rely on HIM when stressed

Failures when fallen confessed

Cleansed from all unrighteousness

Become more when become less

Into the Great Commission invest

Join the few to welcome in the harvest

I walk past my dad sleeping on the couch.  He came to get me.  I open the door slowly, quietly.  I close it behind me.  I realize now that it was unwise of me to not get help and go it on my own.  But I didn’t think of getting help until it was too late.  Ask for help if you need it!…

I walk away further than I had been into the darkest night.  I had been walking away for quite some time.  Away from faith and trust in JESUS.  Late nights, barely any sleep.  Trying to get through my university classes and working.  Hadn’t been eating much if not at all for weeks.  Thoughts began turning against me until suicidal.  I realize now I was needing to eat and nourish my body and was part of the reason my mind turned against myself.  Nourish your body so as not to do it damage or cause the wiring in the brain to malfunction/misfire…

As I walked onward, the intensity of the situation became unbearable.  GOD seemed to be warning me and I questioned it wondering if I should turn back.  Then I made the decision to go farther at a quicker pace.  Swarms of mosquitos appear out of nowhere attacking my hypersensitive self to make matters worse and more dreadful than at first.  It was torturous and had never happened to me before nor anytime after.  I think about turning back again.  I continue on instead.  I believe GOD was trying to stop me, but I wouldn’t listen.  I realize now that it wasn’t GOD’s heart for me to do.  GOD doesn’t tempt us to hurt ourselves or to commit suicide and wants us to trust HIM as HE works in and through us to become who HE’s called us to be…

I understand though how someone can get so low as to commit suicide.  I don’t judge, yet I know that GOD’s heart is not for this to be the outcome…

I ended up in a field of abandoned cars.  Ironic that this is how I felt.  Abandoned.  An empty shell of my former self.  Wide open to the elements.  No more human presence.  Not able to go anymore.  Broken spirit like all the engines there.  I sat in one of the doorless vehicles contemplating for hours whether I’d take my life or not.  Then I contemplated what seemed like just minutes or seconds. 2 or 3 times got ready then decided this is it.  It was then as if the enemy of my soul took his heavy pressuring off of me as I attempted.  It was as if he pushed me to that edge.  Then I was left all alone.  So I thought.  I realize now that GOD doesn’t give up on anyone and will help us when we turn back to HIM in trust continuing to live on until HE rebuilds us… Place your trust in GOD to get you through anything by choosing to endure and persevere for there is great reward if you do…

 

I came up for air.  I realize now GOD wouldn’t let me drown, because HE had a plan for my life…  But I didn’t know it then.  GOD has a plan for a hope and a future for you too…

 

Confused.  What did I do?  I was scared.  Cursed.  Accursed?  That is how I felt.  I realize now that GOD has great compassion and enduring mercy.  HE wouldn’t abandon me like the car in the broken empty graveyard.  But I didn’t know it then.  GOD will show you great compassion and enduring mercy to the most difficult things you’ve experienced in your life…  Let HIM help you too…

 

I’m still alive.  Am I though?  I felt so lost, ashamed, and guilt ridden as I walked back.  I realize now GOD would find me, heal me, and forgive me further along the healing journey.   But I didn’t know it then.  At some point GOD will find you, heal you inside, and forgive you too if you ask HIM, seek HIM, and knock for HIM when don’t give up (took time over 19 years to experience healing of various aspects of my mind, heart, soul, and spirit). JESUS is faithful and true and I couldn’t do it on my own without HIM… HE’s brought me this far and I give HIM thanks in all things the good, the bad, and the ugly…

 

As I reached the nearest road, a person pulled over and took me to my apartment with my dad unknowing of one of the darkest moments of my life.  I was so desperate that I didn’t even tell him the seriousness of what I was dealing with.  I realize now that GOD moved on my dad’s heart to come get me traveling over 800 miles after I called my mom and let her know I wasn’t doing good.  If you need to be honest and tell someone you need help too, do it…  It’s ok when you’re feeling so very weak to get support until you’re better… Don’t wait (especially if you’re thinking of suicide and/or not eating…) It’s ok…  Getting help is being human and alive…  If you don’t have anyone, feel free to reach out to me…  Email me at:  jeffandtami@truevine.net

There are emergency numbers to call on this website as well.

To be continued…

KING of kings

Understanding all things

Reign down

Droplets of tears

From YOUR domain

Mixed with the rain

Yet YOU don’t hide to refrain

The pain YOU feel so real

YOU’ll maintain all who turn

To YOU Whom will sustain

With faith, hope, and love to remain

GOD of comfort toward find compassion to gain

Not for us to borrow what’s harrowing then wane

YOU don’t want only our sorrow a fraction to drain

Just the depths of our marrow in action to walk the extra mile unrestrained 

Present for those low in despair until on their feet with traction by HIS love unfeigned

YOU want followers to follow with attraction in the fruit of the Spirit trained 

For souls hollow to be made whole in satisfaction by the Savior who saves attain

Today and for every 

Tomorrow 

HE will fill us up to overflow

Know HIS will and go

Fulfill HIS command to show

Faith, hope, and love to grow

YOUR promises kept more than rainbows

More than we can think, ask, or imagine YOU chose

Beyond the death, burial, and resurrection after YOU arose

To sit at the right hand of the FATHER as our High Priest interceding in our throes

Until YOUR grace, mercy, and compassion is known with freedom above our lows

Giving us a testimony of YOUR faithfulness and victory with seed given as a sower sows 

Seasoned as salt YOU are better to taste and see YOUR goodness in perfect dose

Reflection of Light YOU shine into and through the darkness with our eyes YOUR Spirit glows

New life is given by YOU and YOUR rest provides peace surpassing understanding in repose

We will continue to press on to endure and persevere passing on through deaths shadows

We will learn to wait upon HIM for renewed strength to soar on wings like eagles above our foes

Until we are able to run and not grow weary to walk and not faint when once were solo so low, but now no longer alone or hollow we’ll press on to follow our Hero who helps us through our woes…