Archive for the ‘compassion’ Category

At the edge of death

Brought back again to new life breath

Mercy, grace, compassion true to…

Find breakthroughs rest

 

A candle once aflame

Strongest storm came

My heart makes room when winds grew…

Blew out zest

 

Take tragedy’s lonely memory

Make triumph’s only remedy

For what you’d approve…

Love others quest

 

Keep faith, hope, and love alive

Reaching out to save above strive

Eternal memories of you survive into…

Remembering what’s best

 

Those passed on not in vain will sustain

Dream to see again remain beyond the pain

Nothings impossible for GOD to do…

Delight desires request

 

I understand what can too soon end

I’ve planned to hold out my hand until you mend

Here for you, you, and you…

Who are oppressed

 

So much in you many can relate to in the fight

Overflow mission’s purpose into your mom equate proves to reignite

The torch envision in service to carry on her love for you through it all pursue into…

Hurting lives reinvest

There will be setbacks

Not meant to remain in remorse

Just stay the course

 

There will be paybacks

Not meant for you to give

Let go and continue on to live

 

There will be drawbacks

When fear seems to win again

Choose faith to overcome often

 

There will be step backs

Regroup to move forward after rest

Push through until pass the test

 

There will be flashbacks

Panic attacks that take over at times to rewind inferiority

Held back until trust in HIM reminds to find security

 

There will be comebacks

Better than luck will wait to be renewed

After getting stuck will find breakthrough

 

There will be broken dreams

Fix your eyes and continue to believe

One day in delighting you may receive

 

There will be broken hearts

For compassion to grow within

And then mend again arisen

 

There will be wounded souls

That need to be restored however severe

Touch of healing enters their core to reward when persevere

 

There will be wounded spirits

That look for an open door

Release of healing upon wings to soar

 

There will be suicidal thoughts

Surprised at how far you’ve fallen down

Pulled from the waters so as not to drown

 

There will be depression fought

Keep the light lit even if moments flickering slight

Weep in the night until new dawn awaken aright

 

There will be death soon enough

Find faith, hope, and love that remain

Store up treasure in Heaven where your heart will maintain

 

There will be life anew beyond what’s rough

Turn away from plans to end it all refrain

Find grace, mercy, and peace that will sustain

Fell into temptation

For lies deception

Fears inception

Repent to be free

HE forgives fully

 

Don’t forget HIS redemption

Come back to HIM detection

To HIS open arms reception

Meant to be

HE says return to ME

 

HIS mercy correction

HIS compassion selection

HIS grace election

Evident with transparency

HE gives abundantly

 

Your faith’s direction beyond defection

Your hope’s resurrection beyond dejection

Your love’s affection beyond rejection

Different to see

HE rescues and redeems from tragedy

 

Put on armors protection

Bear good fruit in the Vine’s connection

Remember HIS benefits in circumspection

Prevent any apathy

HE provides all that’s necessary

 

Shine HIS Light reflection

Show HIS Love perfection

Share HIS Truth collection

Leant with sincerity

HE offers vision and purpose to fulfill your destiny

 

Live with uplifted complexion HE’s given

Live to press on despite imperfection for HE’s forgiven

Live a new life of predilection driven on mission for the Great Commission

Sent with the Remedy

HE assigns reconciliation’s ministry

Words that sustain

I often reached for bemoan

Through all the times I’d fade

Empty it seemed except skin and bone

Left to fear life and face death more afraid

Sleepless in the middle of the nights groan

Faith, hope, and love seemed lost with no protective shade

I’ve sown sin to lose oppressed

Beyond what reaped dismay

Purpose and vision wept

Death just to deflate

Felt a living hell would overthrow

Survive with my will pleading for HIS mercy, grace, and compassion to mend

 

Words I say

Not my own alone

Try as I may with faith

In HIS Words of life again sown

Will somehow portray

New life grown

To gain one day

I’ve shown with proof refreshed

Beyond what can betray

Purpose and vision dreamt 

Death has to wait

For when HE says it so 

Alive until then

 

Not just empty words array

To build a wall of stone

Lay bare in open air to catch SON’s ray

Of hope that will atone

Not to take away

The pain you’ve known

Suicidal thoughts try to sway

I’ve known this too attest

Beyond nightmares into stray

Purpose and vision leapt

Death can’t equate 

To the reward to come when overcome to overflow

Arrive to fulfill in Heaven

 

Words inspired from above convey

To build up lives broken down hone

In until find the Light I try and persuade

You to continue to fight in the zone

Of proximity ignite into HIS love upgrade

Will stand upright once again blown

Away that you made it this far evade

I’ve grown convinced drew breath

Beyond what I ask or imagine obey

Purpose and vision kept

Death I can relate

To now meant to be when letting go

Of the world’s hold that would decay

Thrive to instill faith, hope, and love befriend

Sooner or later

Discover a hole

Like helium out of a balloon

Unable to rise again

 

Sooner or later

Discover a slit

Like air out of a flat tire

Stuck in a rut

 

Sooner or later

Discover the pressure

Like air deflating the lungs

Hard to breathe

 

Sooner or later

Discover the empty space within

Like nothing can ever fill or another can’t ever fulfill

Lost in despair

 

Sooner or later

Discover the mind not shutting up or shutting down

Like haywire, a trip wire, wires crossed

Sparking thoughts racing or turned off distressed

 

Sooner or later

Discover the heart is broken

Like pieces of a puzzle knowing some are missing

Not able to be complete

 

Sooner or later

Discover the soul is wandering in the desert or wilderness

Like needed water is drying up 

Thirst can’t be quenched

 

Sooner or later

Discover the spirit longing for something more

Like a dream out of reach

Awake each day hopeless or empty

 

Later than sooner

Discover HE fills the empty space within

Faith is activated when HIS Spirit newly opens after life of sin

Hope is elevated by HIS WORD duly awoken the promises to trust in

Love is emanated from HIS Life healing what’s broken to no longer be hidden

 

Later than sooner

Discover HIS grace

Lifts your head again and again

Until you begin to soar high above it all

 

Later than sooner

Discover HIS mercy

Lifts you up out of the pit where you sit

Releasing you to walk openly in the land of the living

 

Later than sooner

Discover HIS compassion

Meets you where you’re at 

Holding you up in your weakness until stronger

 

Later than sooner

Discover HIS Light 

Penetrates the darkness

Bringing you out into freedom

 

Later than sooner 

Discover HIS WORD is able to renew your mind

Processes wisdom into a new train of thoughts

Alleviating the tormenting with soundness, clarity, and peace prove profound

 

Later than sooner 

Discover HIS Hands can mold, shape, and revive the heart

Gives its desires to come true as one delights in HIM continually

Creating it anew to be pure and whole

 

Later than sooner

Discover HIS Presence provides green pasture and still waters to restore the soul

Satisfies the hunger with Daily Bread and quenches the thirst with Living Water

Protecting you through the valley of the shadow with rod and staff

 

Later than sooner

Discover HIS purpose and vision of HIS will for you to quicken and refresh the spirit

Leads you on paths of righteousness to follow for HIS name sake

Initiating your destiny while you live here on earth moving forward until reaching and entering Heaven

Where Would I Be?  Had I Not Known…

Now I have faith, hope, and love to be shown…

And the WORD of HIS Way, Truth, and Life as seeds to be sown…

To walk the straight and narrow until Heaven’s my home…

 

Had to lose myself so weak

To find out who I’m meant to be in HIM set free

 

Had to fall into insanity

To regain a sound mind who has HIS peace opposite of vanity

 

Had to die to selfishness then to self brevity

To arise again who knows HIS reality

 

Had to wander on my own

To learn by faith going HIS Way I’m not alone

 

Had to cast my cares and anxieties upon HIM ongoing interrupt

To endure and persevere with hope for HIS grace, mercy, and compassion showing up

 

Had to seek HIM in the darkness with so much doubt

To trust in HIM as the Light who leads the way out

 

Had to face the giant of fear

To receive HIS love when near until fear would disappear

 

Have to share my testimony no longer lost in sin and lonely

To make JESUS known my destiny -made stronger in HIM only

Have you ever felt so alone

Into your face biting sand wind blown

Walking in the desert bemoan

Broad ways though the direction seems wrong

Life lost so weak, all but strong

Where is the straight and narrow road shown

Into the oasis at dawn to bring calm 

To sit below palm fronds with needed ration

 

Have you ever felt so alone

Above vultures circling drones

Wandering in the wilderness unknown

Repetitive circles deems long

Life tossed so bleak, all but gone

Where is the straight and narrow toward home

Into the Promise land drawn to dream beyond 

Relit to go balm bonds with entreated compassion

 

Have you ever felt so alone

Want to find your place that is your very own

Struggling through the years to have grown

Life embossed so unique, all but belong

Separate even when among HIS throng

Where is the straight and narrow will to be known

Into HIS heart as a new song to sing along 

With no qualm responds with heeded passion

YOU were there when I fell in the deepest pit of utter black darkness wraith of hope depressed

YOU were there when I laid down and could barely sit up to muster any faith to cope in my mess

YOU were there when I was a shell of emptiness with shallow breath as evidence not sure whether I’d ever have steps to be deft again or mend even from your nurturing obligations

YOU were there when I was in hell of loneliness like a death sentence, but you never left as I wept and hardly slept in weakness rend often to descend furthering complications

YOU were there in my broken brokenness lost in strife

YOU were there to awaken awareness into new life

YOU were there to believe for me when I couldn’t just be

YOU were there to perceive YOU’d free when I wouldn’t trust Thee

YOU were there when I couldn’t do anything

YOU were there to pull me through everything

YOU were there to encourage and rebuke readily

YOU were there to give reassurance resolute steadily

YOU were there until we were a growing family

YOU were there to fulfill that we were overflowing avidly

YOU were there when I was lost, then amazed by YOU found with YOUR grace, mercy, and compassion all around no longer the same without any shame

I am here because YOU counted the cost, and raised me up off the ground with purpose, vision, and a future with passion to abound now stronger for YOUR Name renown to proclaim

Burn like fire inside

For only HIM will reside

Follow with faith flames higher

Go with hope aims desire

Spread the love reclaims acquire

Into forest of trees

Between heats intensity

With the smoke rise above perceives

Heaven’s calling for all these conceives

Fresh air ascend upon the clouds newly breathes

Sees from the skies surroundings of the lost in need

Readily descend again for many HE intends to retrieve

Back into and through wildfire beneath

Reaching all for uplifting

Those in the mud and mire

Those in dire straights inspire

Those in death’s shadow soon expire

Those on the edge of hellfire

Those trapped in the crossfire

Those hurting from a backfire

Those whose minds went haywire

Those with dreams to aspire

Those who step in rather than retire

For all the rest HE does require

Set hearts afire inside release to be

Get souls for in HIM resides only peace to free

Met spirits with HIS Spirit cease fears to find relief

Let everyone’s lives bear fruit that increase to finally see

The King of kings high above believe

With provision more than enough of to receive

Who feeds the hungry and brings drink to the thirsty

Where grace falls upon for humbling along the journey

When compassion is a healthy serving 

How HE washes over with waves of mercy

Why HE rescues and redeems into HIS Mystery

To offer vision and purpose in HIS Word for rediscovery

After reading Matthew Malin’s post Severing the Chains of Regret:  Is it Possible?, it reminded me of times in my own life dealing with regrets and prompted within me a desire to shed more light on the subject…

Before I do, I will also share in one of many regrets of an attempt to impress a young girl as a middle school teenager.  I was riding my 10 speed bike and peddled as fast as I could by her as she watched from upon my porch.  I realize at the last second upon reaching the  6″ curb that I must brake = I flipped completely head over heels with bike following in tow over me into a heap as I landed hard on my back.  Yah, so much for that stunt.  I wonder what she thought about it?

And one more for good measure is my first date as a 17 year old taking a girl to a movie.  I have no recollection of what the feature show was called or what it was about. But what I do remember is taking her home, getting out of the car, gently placing both of my hands on the sides of her face, and the good intention of giving her a kiss on her forehead out of respect before saying good night.  However, she looked up to kiss me and I kissed her nose.  Yep!?  I attempted once more and the same result occurred.  Nope!  Not doing that again.  The next day looking at the doorway (as I sat in my seat in an empty classroom awaiting for its start) there she appeared and stood waiting for me as if she still cared for me.  Try as I might have wanted to -regret and embarrassment took over and I didn’t move let alone respond.  After a few minutes, she turned and walked away.  Needless to say, it was the first and last date I had in high school.

How to Respond to Our Regrets

I wholeheartedly agree with Matthew’s take on regrets (author of Confessions), that it factors into everyone’s life at some point if live long enough to deal with it, lose from it, fail in it, and have to face it. And he is right that JESUS is the answer…

HE is the answer to our dilemma of regret (past actions of our own doing or performed against us by others, present guilt or shame, and future handling of its weight:

  • pressing upon us
  • repressing within us
  • suppressing all positive forward response from us
  • and/or oppressing over every facet of our lives

 

We may not forget our regrets, yet we may still be forgiven, experience breakthroughs,  and thus find freedom to finally move forward into further maturity…

JESUS forgives to rescue our lives, forgives to restore our lives, and forgives to redeem our lives…

Peter experienced a rescue from JESUS when he came to believe and trust in HIM while following HIM.

Peter experienced a restoration after failing in faithfulness to JESUS (forsaking HIM 3 times) in moments of anxiety, confusion, fear, darkness, and weakness -yet gaining a deeper level of forgiveness after JESUS returned to him to continue the relationship with HIS faithfulness, HIS hope filled reunion, and HIS perfect love given.

Peter experienced a redemption when given the renewed responsibility to spread the Good News of salvation ordained by JESUS knowing HE had risen from the dead and still loved and valued him beyond the failures and regrets of guilt and shame he had harbored…

Our first and foremost response is to turn to HIM for forgiveness:

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.  John 3:16-17

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.  1 John 1:9

HE forgives to rescue:

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  Romans 10:9

For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. Romans 10:10

As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” Romans 10:11

For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile–the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Romans 10:12-13

HE forgives to restore:

Do not remember the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you, LORD, are good.  Psalm 25:7

“Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.  Isaiah 54:4

HE forgives to redeem:

For the Lord GOD helps Me, Therefore, I am not disgraced; Therefore, I have set My face like flint, And I know that I will not be ashamed.  Isaiah 50:7

Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.  Psalm 34:5

And so, I share this because HE is real; HE is faithful to respond and rescue when turning to HIM by grace through faith; HE is able and willing to restore hope to anyone’s soul through mercy and compassion; HE fully redeems anyone’s life changing the whole trajectory of one’s path onto the straight and narrow with HIS Light and encouraging Word and over time casting out fears with HIS perfect love that never fails…

With HIS forgiveness in being rescued, restored, and redeemed we may become inspired and motivated to tell others about what we’ve:

  • discovered to be the Way out of darkness and regret
  • found to be the Truth toward walking in HIS Light and back into the land of the living after each regret
  • experienced to be the new Life granted with purpose and with vision beyond any and all regrets

 

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “BUT THE RIGHTEOUS man SHALL LIVE BY FAITH.” Romans 1:16-17

With forgiveness, all of us may continue to keep fighting and overcoming…

As you sit here after reading this, JESUS stands at the door of your heart and knocks.  Will you respond?  Regrets and/or embarrassment doesn’t have to keep you immovable like in a chair in an empty classroom as an awkward and lonely teenager nor keep you from the greatest gift of HIS unfailing love and forgiveness that may be yours for simply turning to HIM and asking for it.  HE doesn’t walk away, but is waiting for you still -here… now…

For he says, “In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you.” I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation. 2 Corinthians 6:2

HIS forgiveness is HIS key to our hearts:

  • with faith in HIM as our response to know
  • with hope toward HIM as our realization to grow
  • with love from HIM as our reward and to do unto others owe…
  • with HIS Word as our reason into others sow…
  • with HIS Living Water refilling our cups as a reservoir to overflow into channels of HIS grace, mercy, and compassion to show…

There is faith transcending

There is hope befriending

There is love unrelenting 

So these 3 remain never ending

 

There is grace tending

There is mercy defending

There is compassion mending

So these 3 HE’s ever sending

 

There’s HIS stripes healing

There’s HIS crown of thorns taking the shame revealing

There’s HIS cross to lay down HIS life re-appealing

So these 3 for us stand against the enemy shielding

 

There’s HIS blood outpouring, forgiving, covering

There’s HIS Living Water restoring for a new beginning; recovering

There’s HIS Spirit for soaring, getting help with living; hovering

So these 3 HE gives toward wondering and focus above for inner restructuring

 

There’s more than we can ask for provision when HE listens toward Salvation’s decisions until arisen

There’s more than we can think to envision others forgiven and setting those free from prisons until unhidden

There’s more than we can imagine for a greater mission driven storing up treasure in Heaven as  true pure wisdom

So these 3 HE gives to fulfill the Great Commission

 

There’s our mind to renew HIS will to find

There’s our heart to be made pure HIS face to remind

There’s our soul to be restored in HIS Vine abide

So these 3 HE offers to realign reflecting HIS Light continually shine

 

There’s HIS Spirit HE gives to find counsel that won’t cease

There’s HIS Spirit HE gives to find inner peace

There’s HIS Spirit HE gives to find truth that will increase

So these 3 are evidence from that which HE seals within us as a deposit guaranteeing our entrance into Heaven upon release

Notice I didn’t include in the title “HAPPY” New Year.  I do want you to be happy, but I know and understand many are not for they are dealing with difficult things even extremely severe pain/despair/loss, suicidal thoughts, and/or mental illness.  You are not alone… I thank all of you who have followed this blog and I’m here for anyone who needs support, encouragement, and care…  Reach out to me anytime!!…

JESUS understands all about whatever you’re facing and HE desires to be there for you in it, through it, and on into new life…

It is officially 2020 and what comes to mind is 20/20 vision which is considered good eyesight for humans to have…  How is your vision now?

Do you look on with faith, hope, and love or doubt, anxiety, and fear?…

If you have faith, hope, and love in JESUS (looking to HIM for your help) despite what circumstances you’re dealing with, you’re trusting HIM through it all no matter what so you can move forward along your journey…

If you have doubt, anxiety, and fear in yourself or others; the circumstances you’re dealing with become overwhelming and make one feel stuck…

What do you want your vision to be this year in 2020?

Can it be directed upward to whom your help comes from ultimately?

Can it change from despair within yourself or from mistrust in others?

Yes, you can change course by bringing everything you are to JESUS who will daily bear your burdens and give your soul rest… then onward, pressing on, to moving forward with HIM as HE leads you into new life…

There is available to every one of us a more perfect vision that is spiritual and action oriented…

I call it KING Vision 17/17…

It is a way of looking at our life in HIS love, through HIS love, and with HIS love for GOD and for others to continually pursue in order to know, to grow, and to show…

JESUS is the KING of kings…

Vision is viewing life with purpose on mission…

17/17 is inspired by Proverbs 17:17 which states firstly “A friend loves at all times…”

JESUS is our friend that is able to love us at all times…

Knowing this helps us love GOD and others at all times…

How about adopting KING Vision 17/17 in this year of 2020 that is better than 20/20 human vision?

At 2 years old, I had a very high fever that wouldn’t break.  I was taken to the hospital and the doctors couldn’t get it down either…  I ended up having seizures and was placed in an ice bath with hopes of bringing the temp down and not succumbing to an early death.  This experience may have contributed to me having a crossed eye and loss of vision.  At 4 years old, I had surgery on my left eye to shorten the muscle so as not to have an extreme cross eye.  I have not had unaided 20/20 vision since…  I needed corrective lenses to help me see better and obtain as close to 20/20 vision as can be had.

If I could have glasses/contacts made that help correct my vision by an optometrist, then wouldn’t it be possible for GOD to correct our spiritual vision in a greater way?  HE has done it for me…  HE can for you too!!…  Nothing is impossible for HIM!!!

Today is the first day of the new year 2020, so many choose to make new year’s resolutions which can lead to positive life-changing results.  More often than not, many resolutions fall by the wayside.

With GOD however, HIS mercies are new every morning, HIS compassions fail not…

You need to know this, so that when new year’s resolutions are met with adversity or failure you may still have hope each new morning…  Yes, today is 1/1/2020.  Yet, remember GOD gives each day as a new start and HIS compassions for you will not fail even when you do fail…

Does your vision for 2020 hold on to only what you’ve done today, for days in a row, for this week, or for even this whole year?

Would you rather have KING Vision 17/17 where love is available at all times and every day is a new start to accept change, accept healing, accept forgiveness of self/others, accept new life each and every day and accept new endeavors meant for you to be a part of one day?!…

New life is found in JESUS for HE is the Way, the Truth, and the Life…  HE changed water into wine…  HE can renew your mind with peace to not resign…  HE can repair your broken heart to be one of a kind…  HE can recreate a pure heart for new innocence to find…  HE can restore your despairing soul with peace to realign…  HE can redeem your wounded spirit with new found freedom in HIS love forever remind…  You can remain in faith, hope, and love eternally within HIS grace, mercy, and compassion with new beginnings to brightly shine…

I walk past my dad sleeping on the couch.  He came to get me.  I open the door slowly, quietly.  I close it behind me.  I realize now that it was unwise of me to not get help and go it on my own.  But I didn’t think of getting help until it was too late.  Ask for help if you need it!…

I walk away further than I had been into the darkest night.  I had been walking away for quite some time.  Away from faith and trust in JESUS.  Late nights, barely any sleep.  Trying to get through my university classes and working.  Hadn’t been eating much if not at all for weeks.  Thoughts began turning against me until suicidal.  I realize now I was needing to eat and nourish my body and was part of the reason my mind turned against myself.  Nourish your body so as not to do it damage or cause the wiring in the brain to malfunction/misfire…

As I walked onward, the intensity of the situation became unbearable.  GOD seemed to be warning me and I questioned it wondering if I should turn back.  Then I made the decision to go farther at a quicker pace.  Swarms of mosquitos appear out of nowhere attacking my hypersensitive self to make matters worse and more dreadful than at first.  It was torturous and had never happened to me before nor anytime after.  I think about turning back again.  I continue on instead.  I believe GOD was trying to stop me, but I wouldn’t listen.  I realize now that it wasn’t GOD’s heart for me to do.  GOD doesn’t tempt us to hurt ourselves or to commit suicide and wants us to trust HIM as HE works in and through us to become who HE’s called us to be…

I understand though how someone can get so low as to commit suicide.  I don’t judge, yet I know that GOD’s heart is not for this to be the outcome…

I ended up in a field of abandoned cars.  Ironic that this is how I felt.  Abandoned.  An empty shell of my former self.  Wide open to the elements.  No more human presence.  Not able to go anymore.  Broken spirit like all the engines there.  I sat in one of the doorless vehicles contemplating for hours whether I’d take my life or not.  Then I contemplated what seemed like just minutes or seconds. 2 or 3 times got ready then decided this is it.  It was then as if the enemy of my soul took his heavy pressuring off of me as I attempted.  It was as if he pushed me to that edge.  Then I was left all alone.  So I thought.  I realize now that GOD doesn’t give up on anyone and will help us when we turn back to HIM in trust continuing to live on until HE rebuilds us… Place your trust in GOD to get you through anything by choosing to endure and persevere for there is great reward if you do…

 

I came up for air.  I realize now GOD wouldn’t let me drown, because HE had a plan for my life…  But I didn’t know it then.  GOD has a plan for a hope and a future for you too…

 

Confused.  What did I do?  I was scared.  Cursed.  Accursed?  That is how I felt.  I realize now that GOD has great compassion and enduring mercy.  HE wouldn’t abandon me like the car in the broken empty graveyard.  But I didn’t know it then.  GOD will show you great compassion and enduring mercy to the most difficult things you’ve experienced in your life…  Let HIM help you too…

 

I’m still alive.  Am I though?  I felt so lost, ashamed, and guilt ridden as I walked back.  I realize now GOD would find me, heal me, and forgive me further along the healing journey.   But I didn’t know it then.  At some point GOD will find you, heal you inside, and forgive you too if you ask HIM, seek HIM, and knock for HIM when don’t give up (took time over 19 years to experience healing of various aspects of my mind, heart, soul, and spirit). JESUS is faithful and true and I couldn’t do it on my own without HIM… HE’s brought me this far and I give HIM thanks in all things the good, the bad, and the ugly…

 

As I reached the nearest road, a person pulled over and took me to my apartment with my dad unknowing of one of the darkest moments of my life.  I was so desperate that I didn’t even tell him the seriousness of what I was dealing with.  I realize now that GOD moved on my dad’s heart to come get me traveling over 800 miles after I called my mom and let her know I wasn’t doing good.  If you need to be honest and tell someone you need help too, do it…  It’s ok when you’re feeling so very weak to get support until you’re better… Don’t wait (especially if you’re thinking of suicide and/or not eating…) It’s ok…  Getting help is being human and alive…  If you don’t have anyone, feel free to reach out to me…  Email me at:  jeffandtami@truevine.net

There are emergency numbers to call on this website as well.

To be continued…

KING of kings

Understanding all things

Reign down

Droplets of tears

From YOUR domain

Mixed with the rain

Yet YOU don’t hide to refrain

The pain YOU feel so real

YOU’ll maintain all who turn

To YOU Whom will sustain

With faith, hope, and love to remain

GOD of comfort toward find compassion to gain

Not for us to borrow what’s harrowing then wane

YOU don’t want only our sorrow a fraction to drain

Just the depths of our marrow in action to walk the extra mile unrestrained 

Present for those low in despair until on their feet with traction by HIS love unfeigned

YOU want followers to follow with attraction in the fruit of the Spirit trained 

For souls hollow to be made whole in satisfaction by the Savior who saves attain

Today and for every 

Tomorrow 

HE will fill us up to overflow

Know HIS will and go

Fulfill HIS command to show

Faith, hope, and love to grow

YOUR promises kept more than rainbows

More than we can think, ask, or imagine YOU chose

Beyond the death, burial, and resurrection after YOU arose

To sit at the right hand of the FATHER as our High Priest interceding in our throes

Until YOUR grace, mercy, and compassion is known with freedom above our lows

Giving us a testimony of YOUR faithfulness and victory with seed given as a sower sows 

Seasoned as salt YOU are better to taste and see YOUR goodness in perfect dose

Reflection of Light YOU shine into and through the darkness with our eyes YOUR Spirit glows

New life is given by YOU and YOUR rest provides peace surpassing understanding in repose

We will continue to press on to endure and persevere passing on through deaths shadows

We will learn to wait upon HIM for renewed strength to soar on wings like eagles above our foes

Until we are able to run and not grow weary to walk and not faint when once were solo so low, but now no longer alone or hollow we’ll press on to follow our Hero who helps us through our woes…

Kept pure now embrace

Wept tears down my face

Accept near around to taste

Stepped appears found in faith to trace

Perfect clear skies surround with hope in place

Adept sincere abound in love encase

Swept fears aground in haste

Precept cheers expound HIS grace

Leapt endears HIS renown to chase

Stressed veer off course confound off base

Reset gears rebound to keep up pace

Inept years earthbound not a waste

Accept sphere now Heaven bound displace

Intercept new frontier unbound where sin’s erased

Repped adheres profound HIS mercy each day replace

Windswept austere resound HIS compassion always

Net peers abound with Truth that saves

Interpret what ears hear come down from  HIS voice amaze

Let steer profound by HIS Spirit each day unfazed

Met -we’re compound together to follow in HIS ways

Forge ahead

No longer dead

Walk by faith instead

 

Ignore dread

Now stronger led

Chock full of hope imbed

 

Mentor tread

Go conquer over enemy fled

Flock to HIM in love that’s kindred

 

New life can be gained inside to prosper

Open to be saved in HIS coffer

Rock of Salvation encouraged in Truth to be HIS goffer

 

By grace you become HIS son or daughter

In compassion let HIM write your story as Author

Stock up with mercy being a living sacrifice you offer

 

Ask for greater faith to be given by our FATHER

Seek for greater hope to be given by the Spirit taught astir

Knock for greater love to be given by our Savior who fought for all refilling cups with Living Water

Stranded on an island a lost man

Reprimanded for depression -why banned?

Openhanded to bystanders disband

Empty handed as one meanders then to remand

Withstand the pressure of hurricane force in sinking sand

Unplanned shock in full measure restrained remorse can’t understand

Branded with mental illness desiring only help and support in demand

 

Broken down and fallen apart

Fallen ground and broken heart

Sullen around look to restart

Fullness in HIM will impart

Newness of life again jumpstart

Openness to love won’t depart

Stillness set apart for HIS will a work of art

 

Found what I was looking for

Only in HIM the way to restore

All that was lost and taken before

Given back more and more still implore

Persevere to live on for Whom will reward

Run this race face forward press on toward

Heaven’s gaze trace and erase sins failure in war

Poor in spirit chase embrace from HIM once more

 

A soldier stronger no longer distracted

Beholder of HIS strength await contracted

Bolster in faith, hope, and love to be refracted

Mold occur within by the Potter for HIS use to serve impacted

A shoulder to cry on with mercy and compassion protracted

Exposure of years of pain make me who I am into faith and grace extracted

Closure given about my past with composure for the future with HIM attracted

Disclosure driven in the mission to encourage others to fight on whenever contacted 

 

2 Timothy 2:3-4

Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus.

No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him.

What I got

Is more than a lot

SON of GOD my Savior purchased me won with blood took a toll

Grace through faith in HIM saved me come flood my soul

 

When I fought

Lost a war as a prisoner caught

Good Shepherd came to find me in a deep pit

Mercy and compassion reached to lift me up and now will I submit

 

More than ever

Better late than never

KING of kings purchased me forevermore so I will press on leaving what’s behind

Faith, hope, and love I can no longer ignore so in return I respond to others in kind

 

What I live for now

Is far beyond what I can think, ask, or imagine endow

FATHER of Lights shine down as I walk humbly along abiding

All my delights in HIM for desires come true of Heaven each new dawn reminding 

 

When I sought

Found YOUR will inside my heart wrought

The Potter forms this clay confide until I decide chosen behoove from above to follow

Listen and obey one day guide until I’d open to prove HIS love anew unfold

 

More than silver and gold

Is wisdom bought to save souls behold

Redeemer and High Priest fights the battles I couldn’t win alone

Freedom arise released ignites the Fruit of the Spirit to be shown

 

Compassion opens my heart floodgate

Willing to enter yours broken apart relate

A gift given from above show for real equate

To uplift driven by love; know what you conceal frustrate

Await the torrential downpour of a hurricane

Straight to the point I’m here in all that may contain

Initial strong winds that won’t seem to wane

Within the eye of depression’s domain

Into outer bands stronger still won’t constrain

To greet your mental strain

To meet your pain

To accrete your emotion drained

To compete for your attention rather than refrain

To defeat darkness for light regain

To entreat life diverting suicide’s disdain

To treat with understanding listen to maintain

To replete faith, hope, and love to remain

To delete feeling all alone until HIS Presence you attain

GOD of comfort with the comfort received now will sustain

Compassion opens your heart floodgate as a new gift obtain

Fashioned to reopen for others broken apart relate to unchain

 

 

 

For all the lost

To and fro tossed

Come gather to hear the Good News

Freedom after when listen and take in Victories Truths

Your destiny is to believe and be saved

HIS ministry to receive all that HE gave

 

For all the found

Who still doubt

Come gather at HIS throne to gain grace and mercy needed

Freedom after to continue on as more than a conqueror heeded

Your destiny is to believe and press on Heavenward go

HIS ministry to receive courage and confidence to know

 

For all who follow

Pursue HIS will to show

Come gather to bring all glory, honor, and praise

Freedom after giving to the call of the FATHER:  told your story, mold by the Potter, and behold  all your days

Your destiny to hear “Well, done good and faithful servant”

HIS ministry to draw near as you draw near so fervent

 

For all who are weary and heavy burdened

Queue to await renewed strength thats certain

Come gather around HIM for rest for your soul

Freedom after abound with zest traded for what took a toll

Your destiny to experience HIM faithful and true

HIS ministry for resilience as HE makes all things new

 

For all who are wounded in the battle torn

Construe you’re still included to channel prayer for others who mourn

Come gather reputed for giving your all until made whole

Freedom after lucid, rooted, and grounded with compassion to console

Your destiny is genuineness in HIM to understand with breakthrough

HIS ministry is deliverance by HIM in HIS plan for healing and Refuge kept for you

Looking Heavenward to point you to the new

Things above eternal you happen into a rescue

Finding faith, hope, and love that remains

With grace, mercy, and compassion that sustains

Will you see true North’s Morning Star

Engraved in the palm of HIS hand within the scar

Your name written in the Lamb’s Book of Life secure

Your heart now open first look into becoming pure

A hope to see GOD in the near future with focus clearer

Available and willing to do HIS will as you draw nearer

Relatable so fulfilling to be still and just know HIM more

Awaiting direction to go and do the commands HE gave to restore

Shining reflection to grow as HIS feet and hands to save souls implore

Forgetting what is behind pressing on to run the race of faith the goal reach toward

Letting the Spirit lead and guide into all truth overflowing with power to teach then reward

Stars in place

Seek YOUR face

Just a taste

Faith & grace

Sins forgive erase

Run again pace

Heaven’s prize chase

Mercy compassion trace

faith/hope/love still remains

YOUR discipline trains

For YOU awaits

Strength never wanes

YOU understand pains

Lifeline when strains

In temptation refrains

All evil disdains

Honor, glory, praise

Unto YOU raise

High Priest prays

Guide my ways

All my days

Grace surround arrays

Life eternal conveys

SON’s Light rays

So Darkness fades

Life/death/resurrection still portrays

Breathe through haze

Walk past daze

Live beyond faze 

Find lost in maze

See them amaze

Seek for strays

Found after obeys

Uplift when dismays

Live on always

Make me faithful within

A heart pure and open

Not turn left or right into sin

Walking forward even if broken

Grace filled spaces taken

Straight and narrow not forsaken

Mercy and compassion awaken

Encouragement gladly given

All sin can be forgiven

Cast to the bottom of deepest ocean

As far as east to west forgotten

YOU gave all for many ransom

To be in that number not random

Drawn by HIS Spirit to the Son tandem

Find faith, hope, and love start to fathom

Into Living Water spring forth in rhythm

Overflowing cup no longer hidden

No longer run to what is forbidden

Run to seek the prize on mission

Now that I am set free from prison

All because HE died, buried, risen

HE is worth it to accept HIM

Now is the day of salvation’s decision

Words of life -time to listen

Better than into a well wishin’

There is faith to perceive new vision

There is hope to believe anew driven

There is love to conceive and newly breathe in

There is grace to receive for victorious livin’

There is mercy to leave guilt and shame ridden

There is compassion to grieve until you mend reopen

Know HE loves you when HE chooses to discipline again and again

Know HIS anger lasts only a moment, but HIS favor lasts a lifetime your heart to win

Weeping may last for the night, but joy comes with the morning when the sun will glisten

Dusk to Night

Chase the firefly

Capture in a jar

Where you are

A child’s fun to know

 

See the light

Embrace the why

After glimpse the stars

Doesn’t seem that far

Set free from so low

 

North to South contrite

Face it to still try

Stature broken within did mar

Never give up if just restart

Stand, up to par, run to grow

 

Must remember the fight

Race that I might comply

Gather in from the dark

No matter what their scars

Faith, hope, and love will show

 

Mercy anew ignite

Grace take flight

Rapture within compassion’s spark

Go relentless win their hearts

Keep refilling cups to overflow

 

Gain wisdom’s insight

Trace HIS steps that I might

Rather serve to save as state of the art

Teach the Word faithfully so won’t depart

All I am to live as Christ and die as gain bestow

 

With truth deny the lies

Soar above lows to reach on high

Matters in life the course you chart

Seek for Heaven’s pure wisdom to impart

Remember to rescue those fallen lost below

 

Let go the fireflies

Before they die

Scatter freed from the fortifying rampart

Worthwhile to shine set apart

Never forget to glow

 

Dawn to light

Chase the prize

Recapture all who’ve missed the mark

More faith is given to embark

Pressing on so others follow -Heavenward always go

 

When I was lost

I looked to faith and was found by HIM who will never leave

When I was alone

I looked to hope and found a Friend through my grief to bring within more peace

When I was in need

I looked to love of my Friend who set me free from fears that ceased

When I was desperate for change

I looked to mercy freeing from failure to be released

When I was growing

I looked to grace HE gives that lifted me above my failure to be in a family that increased

When I was helped

I looked to compassion from HIM within the family to give forward what I received

When I was newly open

I now look forward to a hope and a future conceived

When I was learning what was in HIS heart

I now look with vision of a future forthcoming where orphans find relief

When I was seeking HIS will

I now look with purpose forthcoming of Heaven filled with others who too believe