Archive for the ‘broken heart’ Category

There will be setbacks

Not meant to remain in remorse

Just stay the course

 

There will be paybacks

Not meant for you to give

Let go and continue on to live

 

There will be drawbacks

When fear seems to win again

Choose faith to overcome often

 

There will be step backs

Regroup to move forward after rest

Push through until pass the test

 

There will be flashbacks

Panic attacks that take over at times to rewind inferiority

Held back until trust in HIM reminds to find security

 

There will be comebacks

Better than luck will wait to be renewed

After getting stuck will find breakthrough

 

There will be broken dreams

Fix your eyes and continue to believe

One day in delighting you may receive

 

There will be broken hearts

For compassion to grow within

And then mend again arisen

 

There will be wounded souls

That need to be restored however severe

Touch of healing enters their core to reward when persevere

 

There will be wounded spirits

That look for an open door

Release of healing upon wings to soar

 

There will be suicidal thoughts

Surprised at how far you’ve fallen down

Pulled from the waters so as not to drown

 

There will be depression fought

Keep the light lit even if moments flickering slight

Weep in the night until new dawn awaken aright

 

There will be death soon enough

Find faith, hope, and love that remain

Store up treasure in Heaven where your heart will maintain

 

There will be life anew beyond what’s rough

Turn away from plans to end it all refrain

Find grace, mercy, and peace that will sustain

Sooner or later

Discover a hole

Like helium out of a balloon

Unable to rise again

 

Sooner or later

Discover a slit

Like air out of a flat tire

Stuck in a rut

 

Sooner or later

Discover the pressure

Like air deflating the lungs

Hard to breathe

 

Sooner or later

Discover the empty space within

Like nothing can ever fill or another can’t ever fulfill

Lost in despair

 

Sooner or later

Discover the mind not shutting up or shutting down

Like haywire, a trip wire, wires crossed

Sparking thoughts racing or turned off distressed

 

Sooner or later

Discover the heart is broken

Like pieces of a puzzle knowing some are missing

Not able to be complete

 

Sooner or later

Discover the soul is wandering in the desert or wilderness

Like needed water is drying up 

Thirst can’t be quenched

 

Sooner or later

Discover the spirit longing for something more

Like a dream out of reach

Awake each day hopeless or empty

 

Later than sooner

Discover HE fills the empty space within

Faith is activated when HIS Spirit newly opens after life of sin

Hope is elevated by HIS WORD duly awoken the promises to trust in

Love is emanated from HIS Life healing what’s broken to no longer be hidden

 

Later than sooner

Discover HIS grace

Lifts your head again and again

Until you begin to soar high above it all

 

Later than sooner

Discover HIS mercy

Lifts you up out of the pit where you sit

Releasing you to walk openly in the land of the living

 

Later than sooner

Discover HIS compassion

Meets you where you’re at 

Holding you up in your weakness until stronger

 

Later than sooner

Discover HIS Light 

Penetrates the darkness

Bringing you out into freedom

 

Later than sooner 

Discover HIS WORD is able to renew your mind

Processes wisdom into a new train of thoughts

Alleviating the tormenting with soundness, clarity, and peace prove profound

 

Later than sooner 

Discover HIS Hands can mold, shape, and revive the heart

Gives its desires to come true as one delights in HIM continually

Creating it anew to be pure and whole

 

Later than sooner

Discover HIS Presence provides green pasture and still waters to restore the soul

Satisfies the hunger with Daily Bread and quenches the thirst with Living Water

Protecting you through the valley of the shadow with rod and staff

 

Later than sooner

Discover HIS purpose and vision of HIS will for you to quicken and refresh the spirit

Leads you on paths of righteousness to follow for HIS name sake

Initiating your destiny while you live here on earth moving forward until reaching and entering Heaven

Mistakes that I had made

Low self-esteem, empty, ashamed

No identity yet, solo, afraid

High school, one date came, I’m to blame

Still recognize her face and remember her name

Monday came; she stood there waiting, locked gaze in suspended time, then walked away because I couldn’t respond as if in a daze

I pray she knows HIS love all her days…

 

Mistakes I dare to share

Open up not sure she’d even care

Return the favor listening, revealing all unaware

College, first relationship, burdens to bear

Found solace for a short time so rare

She had to leave across the sea and I let go too scared

I pray she finds HIM suddenly out of no where

 

Mistakes I regret

Awkward, unsure, how to interpret

Searching for identity unkept

College, second relationship, just met

A whirlwind transpires;  I easily make her upset

She gave it one last chance;  I hurt her heart and can’t forget

I pray she experiences HIS joy each day on reset

 

Mistakes of getting too close without commitment

Except our faith in GOD, we’d abstain from being intimate

Taking a chance after my suicide attempt and mental illness onset

Singles group in church, third relationship, her a divorcee with a daughter, could we reinvent

GOD would make it clear we weren’t meant to be in marriage represent

She was saddened, but moved on to start her own family circumvent

I pray she always has HIS encouragement and a love for HIM that’s fervent

 

Through all my mistakes I came to find HIM anew

My refocus in relationship with HIM intertwined with her and grew

Drawn together as we served HIS children in love’s purpose pure and true

Times well spent with each other set in motion HIS will to pursue

It is evident we were meant to be a family within HIS faith, hope, and love through and through

She has fought to win battles with the enemy as revealed by scars and wounds

She has fought to win battles for me in the midst of my darkest hours now removed

She has fought to win battles for herself of declined health faithful to be there for our children proved

I pray she feels HIS love through me continually, reveals HIS love through our children repeatedly, conceals within HIS love fully to share assuredly, and kneels with me in awe of what the LORD has done mercifully in Heaven one day and then walk together as best friends for all eternity…

 

 

 

Legends never die

So they say

Yet I know

JESUS did

Once and for all

 

HE would not deny

HIS will to obey

For love to show

JESUS equipped

To answer HIS call

 

There’s a love

In the air tonight

Death on a cross

Laid it down a silent fight

Hope to win from a loss

Could HE have had it right

HE surely counted the greatest cost

Faith to save souls beyond the violent sight

 

Why did HE have to die

HE had done nothing wrong

For the lost to find like you and I

Redemption give for freedom’s song

Dreaded darkness seems to deny

Hearts broken and broken dreams all but gone

 

Buried hidden until 3rd day ensue

Risen again to new life lead and guide

Victory over sin, death, and hell prove true

Believing now at an all time high

Sharing the Good News soon pursue

Resurrection and the Life brought to Light

 

HIS shed blood purifies all that is mine

Forgiven to be who I’m meant to be

HE holds the keys to Heaven and hell remind

Adopted into GOD’s family setting me free

HE intercedes from Heaven for me as High Priest divine

Called to tell of HIM boldly sharing my testimony is my destiny

 

Stranded on an island a lost man

Reprimanded for depression -why banned?

Openhanded to bystanders disband

Empty handed as one meanders then to remand

Withstand the pressure of hurricane force in sinking sand

Unplanned shock in full measure restrained remorse can’t understand

Branded with mental illness desiring only help and support in demand

 

Broken down and fallen apart

Fallen ground and broken heart

Sullen around look to restart

Fullness in HIM will impart

Newness of life again jumpstart

Openness to love won’t depart

Stillness set apart for HIS will a work of art

 

Found what I was looking for

Only in HIM the way to restore

All that was lost and taken before

Given back more and more still implore

Persevere to live on for Whom will reward

Run this race face forward press on toward

Heaven’s gaze trace and erase sins failure in war

Poor in spirit chase embrace from HIM once more

 

A soldier stronger no longer distracted

Beholder of HIS strength await contracted

Bolster in faith, hope, and love to be refracted

Mold occur within by the Potter for HIS use to serve impacted

A shoulder to cry on with mercy and compassion protracted

Exposure of years of pain make me who I am into faith and grace extracted

Closure given about my past with composure for the future with HIM attracted

Disclosure driven in the mission to encourage others to fight on whenever contacted 

 

2 Timothy 2:3-4

Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus.

No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him.

 

Compassion opens my heart floodgate

Willing to enter yours broken apart relate

A gift given from above show for real equate

To uplift driven by love; know what you conceal frustrate

Await the torrential downpour of a hurricane

Straight to the point I’m here in all that may contain

Initial strong winds that won’t seem to wane

Within the eye of depression’s domain

Into outer bands stronger still won’t constrain

To greet your mental strain

To meet your pain

To accrete your emotion drained

To compete for your attention rather than refrain

To defeat darkness for light regain

To entreat life diverting suicide’s disdain

To treat with understanding listen to maintain

To replete faith, hope, and love to remain

To delete feeling all alone until HIS Presence you attain

GOD of comfort with the comfort received now will sustain

Compassion opens your heart floodgate as a new gift obtain

Fashioned to reopen for others broken apart relate to unchain

 

 

Ever deserted

Ever deceived

Ever devastated

 

With HIM in the end

Never deserted

Never deceived 

Never devastated

 

Ever doubted

Ever debated

Ever debilitated

 

With HIM in Heaven

Forever trusted

Forever answered

Forever new reinstated

Tangible & real to nurture minds with Words sown

Radical zeal to capture hearts with faith alone

Practical meal to pasture souls with hope grown 

Tactical seal to rapture spirits with love known

Tractable appeal to gather lives with grace and mercy atone

 

Theological teaching to behold minds tend if reeling aground

Periodical reaching to remold hearts when feeling down

Prodigal beseeching to unfold souls to mend with healing found

Optimal keeping to uphold spirits defend for shielding around 

Phenomenal believing to untold lives open until revealing a crown

 

Everything fades

Far away

 

Except the Word

Forever stay

 

The Word made flesh did portray

In life, in death, in risen life again convey

 

Gone in a day

Tomorrow come what may

 

HE is yesterday, today, and forever the same

Faith, hope, and love remain

 

Past memories may replay

Missing parts and broken hearts somehow slay

 

Let it go as you pray

Move forward beyond the black and white through even gray

 

Burdens so heavily upon you weigh

Place them down at HIS feet lay

 

Darkness and confusion led astray

For HIS Light and peace inside for trade

 

You’re fearfully and wonderfully made

You’re meant to live forgiven and free displayed

 

A future and a hope with HIM survey

Ordered steps HE gives as seen in the night sky of stars arrayed

 

Don’t give up if there’s delay

HE promises for you, HE will make a way…

 

All you are to HIM trust and obey

Through every time you are afraid

 

Choose courage to be brave

Remembering all that HE gave

 

Spend time in HIS Presence only crave

Delight in HIM who gives your desires even beyond the grave

 

A 3 chord strand not easily broken braid

A firm foundation on the Rock of Salvation is laid

 

So stand strong to build your life upon HIM pave

HIS love for you will relinquish the fear that HE died for you to save

 

Dusk to Night

Chase the firefly

Capture in a jar

Where you are

A child’s fun to know

 

See the light

Embrace the why

After glimpse the stars

Doesn’t seem that far

Set free from so low

 

North to South contrite

Face it to still try

Stature broken within did mar

Never give up if just restart

Stand, up to par, run to grow

 

Must remember the fight

Race that I might comply

Gather in from the dark

No matter what their scars

Faith, hope, and love will show

 

Mercy anew ignite

Grace take flight

Rapture within compassion’s spark

Go relentless win their hearts

Keep refilling cups to overflow

 

Gain wisdom’s insight

Trace HIS steps that I might

Rather serve to save as state of the art

Teach the Word faithfully so won’t depart

All I am to live as Christ and die as gain bestow

 

With truth deny the lies

Soar above lows to reach on high

Matters in life the course you chart

Seek for Heaven’s pure wisdom to impart

Remember to rescue those fallen lost below

 

Let go the fireflies

Before they die

Scatter freed from the fortifying rampart

Worthwhile to shine set apart

Never forget to glow

 

Dawn to light

Chase the prize

Recapture all who’ve missed the mark

More faith is given to embark

Pressing on so others follow -Heavenward always go

 

If you're overwhelmed by suicidal thoughts 
or have a plan for suicide, it is ok to
get help from a mental health professional 
for meds to help support you 
as well as counseling as you look to be hopeful again 
and better manage your precious life 
(especially if you've been abused or experienced trauma in any way)...
You're worthwhile and valuable...
I care about you!!...  Reach out to me anytime...
I want you to be an overcomer and a fighter...
L.ive O.n V.ictorious E.ndeavor
Choose L.O.V.E.; 
L.ift-up I.nspirational F.uture E.ndure
Choose L.I.F.E.
In my acronym, S.T.A.R.T.S. will mean: 

something you do…

something new you do… 

something you continue to do…

 

Spiritual

Truths

Activated

Renew/Restore/Replenish

Together

Soundness

 

What is Forgiveness?

I did not like the definition of forgive in the Merriam Webster dictionary due in part that it said “cease to feel”.  To forgive someone or yourself is more than that and also different than that.  I believe you can forgive, yet still feel the hurt and pain until a process of healing takes place over time where feelings about it begin to diminish and for some the feeling may never fully go away.  There is more hope then to have the ability to forgive if we know that feelings involved may still linger on…  The good news is that GOD is willing, available, and able to help us forgive if we are struggling with this very thing.

So I looked up the Greek word of forgive.  It is aphíēmi.  

It comes from the root word apo and híēmi.

ἀπό apó, apo’ means:

a primary particle; “off,” i.e. away (from something near), in various senses (of place, time, or relation; literal or figurative):—(X here-)after, ago, at, because of, before, by (the space of), for(-th), from, in, (out) of, off, (up-)on(-ce), since, with.

ἵημι híēmi means:

(to send; an intensive form of εἶμι eîmi, to go)

So let’s think of forgive as even just these 2 words separately (apó) and (híēmi)

If we choose apó, then we may take “off” and move “away” (from something near) in various senses (of place, time, or relation).  Then if we choose híēmi, we may “send” it away in order “to go” forward…

This is so good what to forgive does for us.

Here is what it looks like:  I forgive __________ to take “off” this hurt done to me and move “away” from it.  I “send” it away in order “to go” forward…

Here is a new way to approach an experience of forgiving as a decision made with this process now in mind to do and an action within the heart to occur:

Ex. 1

I will forgive __________ because I need to take the abuse that happened in the past “off” my life and move “away” from ___________ and that which has been so near affecting my senses (thoughts, emotions, feelings of my mind, heart, soul, and spirit wounds) where I have been haunted/fearful/anxious/angry/depressed/suicidal by certain places, time it occurred through time up until now, and in my relations with myself and others.  I “send” this abuse away to YOU GOD in order “to go” forward in new life with a new start…  Begin to heal me within…

Ex. 2

I will forgive myself because I need to take the addiction that happened in the past “off” my life and move “away” from addiction and that which has been so near affecting my senses (thoughts, emotions, feelings of my mind, heart, soul, and spirit wounds) where I have been haunted/fearful/anxious/angry/depressed/suicidal by certain places, time it occurred through time up until now, and in my relations with myself and others.  I “send” this addiction away to GOD in order “to go” forward in new life with a new start…

Ex. 3

I will forgive __________ because I need to take the rejection that happened in the past “off” my life and move “away” from the act of rejection by ___________ and that which has been so near affecting my senses (thoughts, emotions, feelings of my mind, heart, soul, and spirit wounds) where I have been haunted/fearful/anxious/angry/depressed/suicidal by certain places, time it occurred through time up until now, and in my relations with myself and others.  I “send” this rejection I’ve experienced away to GOD in order “to go” forward in new life with a new start…

 

When combined together, here is the meaning:

ἀφίημι aphíēmi, af-ee’-ay-mee;

from apo  G575 and ἵημι híēmi (to send; an intensive form of εἶμι eîmi, to go); to send forth, in various applications (as follow):—cry, forgive, forsake, lay aside, leave, let (alone, be, go, have), omit, put (send) away, remit, suffer, yield up.

What is allowed:

I cry.  I cry because of what ____________ has done to me.  I cry in release from _____________ in order to forgive _____________.  I cry now that _______________ has no hold on me. I cry to begin my healing journey.

I forgive__________ for what he’s done/ she’s done/ they’ve done/ I’ve done.

I can forsake my abuser/ my addiction now that I’ve forgiven.

I lay aside what was done to me by _____________ since I’ve forgiven ____________.

I leave ____________ in the past because I’ve forgiven _____________ for a new beginning.

I let alone/be/go/have what was done to me by ______________ to be in my past for I’ve forgiven _______________ and move on so my present begins healing on into my future.

I omit __________ from my life now that I’ve forgiven _____________ who no longer will have a hold on me.

I put (send) away ___________ from affecting my life any longer since I have forgiven _______________.

I remit what _____________ has cause in my life for I forgive ________________.

suffer due to what ______________ did, but I forgive ______________  so that my suffering will let me grow in all areas to be a better person for myself and others.

I yield up ______________ to you now GOD to deal with, now that I’ve forgiven _________________.

 

Forgiveness then is letting go of the hurt and pain caused by another, others, or oneself:

  • to start anew
  • to begin the healing process
  • to drop the heavy load you’ve been carrying
  • to break off the hold another or others have had on you that is bringing you down
  • to be free from the mental anguish, internal conflicts, and/or suicidal ideation
  • to becoming more free from the emotional fears, anxieties, anger, depression in order to deal with life positively and effectively
  • to allow for grieving (5 stages:  denial/isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance)
  • to move on from toxic relationships
  • to move on past self-harm and/or addiction
  • to accept, care for, and love yourself
  • to love others and have meaningful and special relationships
  • to love GOD

 

Be Forgiven To Forgive

GOD lets us know we are all in need of ultimate forgiveness and this is accomplished by recognizing our need for our own forgiveness, asking HIM for forgiveness, and believing in and trusting in HIS SON JESUS to come into our hearts to save us and help us live a new life:

22 This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.25 God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement,[i] through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished— 26 he did it to demonstrate his righteousness at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.  Romans 3: 22-26

You may be afraid to come to the LORD because of your own sin (it is too much, your guilt is to heavy, and your shame is unbearable), yet HE wants you to come and be forgiven:

19 Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,  Acts 3:19
18 “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.  Isaiah 1:18
12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.  Psalm 103:12

 

How can you know for sure you’re forgiven and saved:

But what does it say? “The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,” that is, the message concerning faith that we proclaim:

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. Romans 10:8-10

 

Who is forgiveness for:

for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”  Romans 10:13

John 3:16-17

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

 

GOD in HIS Word tells us to forgive others:

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

3 So watch yourselves. “If your brother or sistersins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. 4 Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”  Luke 17:3-4

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.  Ephesians 4:31-32

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

 

What happens when you forgive as GOD wants you to?  You are still angry about what the person/people have done?  GOD says in HIS Word that HE will deal with that person/people:

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.  Romans 12:19

After accepting JESUS and now being forgiven, what happens if I sin again not wanting to.  Every Believer is going to sin after receiving JESUS as LORD and Savior.  Because of your relationship being reconciled to GOD, you are now able to confess your sin to HIM and not hide it.  HE will forgive you and purify you when turning back to HIM with a repentant heart desiring for restored relationship.  Then walk again being forgiven.

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
This is in no way a license to continue sinning purposefully or in pride thinking HE won’t deal with it at some point.  HE will convict us of our sin by HIS Spirit and we will need to turn in repentance with humility.  If we are prideful and continue sinning, HE will humble us.

Hebrews 12:4-7

God Disciplines His Children

In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
    and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
    and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”[a]

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children…

Hebrews 4:15-16

15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

 

 

Examples of Forgiveness

You may have a family member or close friend that wronged you in some way, but you don’t want GOD to repay with a vengeance. Can you forgive someone close to you and pray that GOD would have mercy on them?

Yes!  A resounding yes…

Read about Moses, after getting the Ten Commandments, was told by GOD that HIS people HE rescued out of slavery from Egypt, had made an idol to worship instead of remembering GOD and what HE had done for them.  GOD was ready to punish them and said HE would put them to death and start over.  Moses prayed and asked GOD to not hold it against them and to remember HIS covenant and what HE had done to deliver HIS people.  GOD listened to Moses and relented.

 

You may have a family member/members that wronged you in some way and GOD will use you to bring about good for the one or all involved.  There may be a future story of you being used of GOD to rescue, restore, provide, or protect in some way.

Read about Joseph who was mistreated and rejected by his brothers, sold into slavery, and then rise to leadership by Pharaoh in Egypt.  GOD used Joseph to save his family from a widespread famine and ultimately forgive his brothers of their wrongdoing accepting them and their families with places to live in Egypt.

 

You may have been used by a sibling that took from your parent in some way and you received nothing or less than.

Read about when Esau Forgives Jacob after Jacob returns during a long time away from Esau.  Jacob had fled when he learned Esau wanted to kill him for taking away his birthright and then later took his father’s blessing away from Esau as well.

 

You may have sinned greatly causing much harm to yourself and another/others.  You are discouraged and don’t know if GOD will forgive “this”.

Read about David and Bathsheba where David sees her bathing and sends messenger for her to come and lay with him.  He finds out she becomes pregnant while her husband Uriah is out fighting in the war.  He tries to cover up his offense at Uriah’s expense.  When Uriah is not cooperative with David’s plan, David orders that Uriah be put on the front lines and then have the army withdraw so that he dies.  Nathan confronts David about his sin.  David turns to the LORD in repentance and asks for forgiveness.  GOD forgives David, but there are consequences for his selfish sin.  Now the child they conceived together dies.  GOD restores David and blesses him and Bathsheba when HE allows them to bear another son named Solomon.

 

Focus For Forgiveness

Here is a model prayer to pray to GOD for forgiveness from extreme guilt and shame of the greatest of sin we may have committed:

Psalm 51

For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions,
    and my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
    and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
    and justified when you judge.
Surely I was sinful at birth,
    sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
    you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
    wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
    let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins
    and blot out all my iniquity.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
    so that sinners will turn back to you.
14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
    you who are God my Savior,
    and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 Open my lips, Lord,
    and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
    you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 My sacrifice, O God, is[b] a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart
    you, God, will not despise.

18 May it please you to prosper Zion,
to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
in burnt offerings offered whole;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.

 

 

Power of Forgiveness

I have been changed by GOD’s forgiveness of my many sins.  I have learned from HIM by HIS extending to me forgiveness through HIS grace, mercy, and compassion.  Because of this change that has taken place within me, I am more apt to extend grace to others, to show mercy with cheerfulness, to listen with compassion, and to readily encourage others who need this.  I know HIS love more for me and I am able to love HIM and others in return.  I am now able to forgive others quickly and it be a regular response I have, since I was forgiven of so many sins, failures, and poor decisions in my own life.

Then one of the Pharisees asked Him to eat with him. And He went to the Pharisee’s house, and sat down to eat. And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, and stood at His feet behind Himweeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil. Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, “This Man, if He were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner.”

Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.” “Tell me, teacher,” he said. “Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.” “You have judged correctly,” Jesus said.

Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven–as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?” Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”  Luke 7:36-50

I so love this story of JESUS forgiving this distraught woman who so powerfully showed love to HIM…  A person who is forgiven much loves much!  When you’re forgiven, you become a more loving person to GOD and to others…

Science of Forgiveness

 

Click the link below and read the full review about Forgiveness:

Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley: Forgiveness

The Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley covers the following topics:

What is Forgiveness?  Why Practice It?  How Do I Cultivate It?  

It is well worth the read and has science based research about forgiveness.

Here is some of the information from the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley:

What Is Forgiveness?  

We can learn about it from what forgiveness is not:

  • it’s not glossing over or denying the seriousness of the offense against you
  • it’s not having to forget the offense nor accepting/excusing the offense as ok/right
  • it’s not having to reconcile with the person who harmed you especially in the case of abuse
  • it’s not releasing them from legal accountability in the case of severe wrongs

Why Practice It?  

Here are just a few benefits:

  • makes us happier
  • protects our mental health
  • improves our health
  • sustains relationships
  • good for marriages
  • boosts kindness and connectedness

How Do I Cultivate It?

Here are just a few ways:

  • it’s something you do for you, not a gift for someone else (though I do believe you can also gift someone with forgiveness if your heart is to reconcile or help them too)
  • express your emotions to yourself and to others
  • consider what you’ve learned from what happened to you -if there has been something positive gained from it
  • practice empathy
  • practice mindfulness of hurt feelings to choose forgiveness more readily
  • understand forgiveness is a process

 

 

 

 

 

If you're overwhelmed by suicidal thoughts 
or have a plan for suicide, it is ok to
get help from a mental health professional 
for meds to help support you 
as well as counseling as you look to be hopeful again 
and better manage your precious life 
(especially if you've been abused or experienced trauma in any way)...
You're worthwhile and valuable...
I care about you!!...  Reach out to me anytime...
I want you to be an overcomer and a fighter...
L.ive O.n V.ictorious E.ndeavor
Choose L.O.V.E.; 
L.ift-up I.nspirational F.uture E.ndure
Choose L.I.F.E.

 

 

In my acronym, S.T.A.R.T.S. will mean: 

something you do…

something new you do… 

something you continue to do…

 

Spiritual

Truths

Activated

Renew/Restore/Replenish

Together

Soundness

 

The Cambridge Dictionary states that:

pour your  heart out

to tell someone your secret feelings and things that worry you, usually because you feel a strong need to talk about them

 

The Free Dictionary by Farlex states further that:

pour your heart out

To share one’s deepest or most intimate emotions, thoughts, or secrets, especially in a profuse or sudden manner.
express your deepest feelings or thoughts in a full and unrestrained way.

Our Need

With being human, we all need an outlet to release our thoughts and emotions in a constructive manner that will ultimately benefit us with sharing such things with someone rather than keeping it all within – “bottled up” per say.
A bad attitude toward life may be due to holding within bitterness toward a person who has wronged us or toward difficult life event/s without ever dealing with the thoughts and emotions that accompany it.
Depression personally may be due to holding within anger toward self, anger and grief about missed opportunities, or anger and grief about difficult life circumstances (including loss of a loved one) that have happened over time.

Ways of Expression for Sweet Release

My favorite way to pour out my heart is through writing poetry and sharing my hurts, disappointments, difficulties, and sadness with GOD HIMSELF in learning to trust HIM to use hardships, trials, and tribulations to build within me faith and strong character.  I allow HIM to mold me into a better person through it all.
If I kept everything in without talking about it and dealing with it, I would go back into deep depression that I experienced as a youth. I once kept everything in.  I didn’t talk.  I was a loner for the most part, with only a few friends.  All my thoughts and emotions were locked away.  What I experienced because of this was anger inside, anger at life, mistrust of people, and really being a hateful person.  It was a detriment to me personally.  What if I had someone to talk to about what I dealt with instead of going it alone.  I didn’t have a relationship with GOD, at the time, who would have listened to me and helped me had I known I could turn to HIM for HIS care and support.  Life is difficult enough without having to also deal with unresolved and negative thoughts and emotions weighing heavily on the mind, heart, soul, and spirit.
A river needs to have an outlet to move along in forward motion as rains fill it to overflowing.  A river whose outlet is the ocean finds release from the pressure that otherwise builds up as in the case if a dam was built to contain it.
Our minds need an outlet for our thoughts, our hearts need to have an outlet for our emotions to move along forward in this life, our souls need to have an outlet to share hopes and dreams, and our spirit needs an outlet to connect to JESUS and our future in eternity…
If we don’t have an outlet, then negativity backs up, builds up pressure, causes one to erupt at some point with damaging consequences that may include suicidal thoughts and/or suicide attempts as an extreme measure seemingly forced into.  It simply becomes too much to handle and the stress is now too overwhelming.

Who To Turn To

If you have a close friend to talk to about anything and everything, consider yourself blessed to have that special someone in your life.  Not everyone has that.
Going to a counselor to help sort through life’s baggage that may include depression, mental illness, suicidal ideation, abuse, and/or trauma can bring breakthroughs in your life as you face these giants head on and learn to overcome and heal from the hurts you’ve experienced. It takes time, sometimes a very long time to see results.
I have my wife who is my helpmate for sure and can listen to a certain extent.  Yet, I don’t have that one guy in my life that I can talk with, be accountable to, and share my burdens I experience through life.
If you’re like me and need someone other than your spouse or a counselor, then GOD is the relationship you are to establish that can change everything in a positive direction…
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.  Isaiah 9:6
JESUS is the Wonderful Counselor who fills that deep seated need for support and encouragement we all need…
JESUS is Mighty GOD who fills the role of Protector and a Defense against our enemies…
JESUS is Everlasting FATHER who fills the role giving us the love and provision we need…
JESUS is Prince of Peace who fills the role of giving HIS peace within us to deal with anything that comes our way…

Pour Out Your Heart to GOD

Pouring out your heart to GOD is the single most beneficial thing you can do in your life.  He listens and understands.  JESUS, when HE came to earth as one of us (human too), experienced every type of temptation, stress, emotions, and thoughts yet was without sin. After HE died on the cross to satisfy GOD’s wrath, overcome death, deal with our enemies including satan, and to deal with and forgive our sin, HE became our High Priest who understands our weaknesses, daily bears our burdens, and prays for us.  HE knows and understands us more than anyone else can.

 

Pouring out your heart to GOD = extreme closeness to the heart of GOD

David, a shepherd boy, who later became the king of GOD’s people  is known as a man after GOD’s own heart.  Do you know why he was a man after GOD’s own heart.  David turned to GOD whenever he was dealing with life’s ups and downs and poured out his heart to HIM.  He wasn’t perfect and sinned in terrible ways.  So why then was he still a man after GOD’s own heart.  He made many mistakes, yet he turned to GOD quickly and asked for forgiveness and desired the relationship to be restored.  When good happened in his life, he turned to GOD and gave HIM thanks.  David is the author of many of the Psalms in the Bible.  If you want examples of pouring out your heart to GOD, you can read through the Psalms which are heartfelt pouring out of emotions and thoughts that were burdensome to bear and deeply troubling to heartfelt pouring out of emotions and thoughts expressing gratitude.

 

I highly recommend getting a spiral notebook or other journal and begin the process of pouring out your heart of all its emotions and thoughts, hopes and dreams, failures and successes, and deepest needs expressed to GOD and you will be radically changed for the better by doing so…  Share your thoughts with HIM, cast your cares and anxieties onto HIM from your heart, bare your soul to HIM, and send up flares from your spirit unto HIM…  As you do so over time, things will begin to transform within you through development of your seeking relationship with your Creator who knows all things, knows you, knows what you need and yet wants you to just talk to HIM…

 

Pouring out your heart to GOD is a way of delighting in HIM… There is a wonderful promise to receive when we do this…

 

Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

As I have delighted in the LORD, HE has given me some desires of my heart already:
* a wife
* children
* inspiration to write (mostly poetry)
* deliverance from fears and anxieties and being suicidal
* help and support with my mental illness (more of a sound mind and peace within)
* an orphan ministry
* ability to serve with children as one of my passions
* a heart of compassion with ability to show mercy with cheerfulness and to encourage others
* desire to be a pastor

Psalm 62:5-8

Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God[a];
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.

 

 

 

Mine or yours having fierce suicidal thoughts are not a sin in its reoccurring more than meditation

Mine or yours having fierce suicidal thoughts are a battle we can win enduring the onslaught and persevering until disaster passes without retaliation

My frontline reality is fighting beyond suicidal ideation into dreams desires for realization

My focus centrality is encouraging all to make it out within HIS remediation

My frame of reference is faith, hope, and love to abound from the Creator to HIS creation

My family I live for so I continue to press on with determination

My faith is that I don’t live for myself alone, but unto HIM in adoration

My freedom is to live pure to be secure in God the FATHER’s hands for the SON’s traits rebuilding within this clay as HIS formation

 

I know some will overcome every moment into freedom in the future with just being blood bought

I know some will succumb to its’ warring thoughts, yet with faith as small as a mustard seed will put trust in HIM continually knowing its not for nought

I know some will be numb from the scarring its wrought, yet rise above into new life after whats fraught

I know some will come to know JESUS once sparring alone to discover who helps in the battles fought

I know some will become found to enter in HIM after the jarring being stuck as HE lifts up with compassion from the pit caught

I know some will be from outer darkness until starring with HIM from mercy inward being taught

I know some will fall seven times and rise again 8, since each turn for help is hope and strength in HIM having sought

I know some will face their giants with grace until each one is slain to stand above the onslaught

 

What do I need to do

To get you through

The hardest part of living

 

What do I need to prove

To lead you to what is new into

The hardest heart I’m giving

 

When will you believe

In order to receive

A purpose centered on mission as focused vision within Living Water overflow

 

When will you perceive

In order to conceive

Grace, mercy, and compassion given from above into your below

 

Why do you doubt 

Theres a better way out

To live with faith, hope, and love beyond measure

 

Why do you shout

To who doesn’t already know what it’s all about

A homecoming for your soul HE has sought, He has bought, He has wrought as precious treasure

 

Where are you going

Closed shut blowing in the wind for you could be drawn in openhanded

Receive a place all your own with healing for the pain

 

Where are you growing

Closed shut above the ground for you could be drawn in to be planted

Though you die, new life will sprout appealing to what you’ll gain

 

How are you on your own

Fending for yourself unknown

Hiding until almost dying; question lie inside -fights the nights without light

 

How will you be if not alone

Defending your soul on HIS throne

Abiding until foremost arriving in Heaven beside guide -delights to ride on the heights

What if there’s a cure

What if there isn’t

What if you live pure

What if you didn’t

A cure will be

Either here or there

Pure will help secure you’ll see

Either now or later care to be aware

The cure is to be pure that will secure you within

Forgiveness is sure to endure turning from worlds lusts contradictions that lure

 

What if dreams come true

What if they don’t

What if a vision forms anew

What if it won’t

A dream come true will be

Either here or there

A vision anew will help when arisen you’ll see

Either now or later care to be aware

The dream to be true with new vision arisen will occur within

Conviction will bring decision to share faith, hope, and love on mission to free from prison those who’ll listen

 

What if the future brings relief

What if it doesn’t

What if nurture uplifts beneath

What if it wasn’t

A future with relief will be 

Either here or there

 Nurture will give with return beneath you’ll see

Either now or later care to be aware

The future relief is to nurture through grief for healing to stir within

Searcher for the wounds that hurts your mind, heart, soul and spirit will further along your purpose to belong here with fervor

If you don’t listen to what I say

I pray

HE will meet you in the middle of the night

More than a dream come true

Proving HE is real I already knew

 

That HE may speak peace be still it’s ok

You pray

To receive HIM into your heart giving you new life inside with HIS Light

Giving what you need now so much more than before when you had no clue

With access to mercy new every morning like the dew

 

Only HE can save

Lay down HIS life for the lost and stray

HE is the answer to everyone’s plight

HE will come again and find you

Even if you walked away or just withdrew

 

Draw near and HE draws near to stay

Until faith, hope, and love within you remain

With broken spirit heart contrite

HE will accept you back HIS faithfulness to prove

HE will empower you to overcome all that you need to

Just make it real

Beyond what conceals feel

Just take pain -shield

Beyond kill, destroy, steal

Just send to heal

Beyond the brokenness surreal

 

Just carry on forever

Beyond the daily weather

Just speak truth center

Beyond hearing lies sever

Just listen -compassion’s endeavor

Beyond where understandings never

 

Just realize you matter

Beyond where emotions scatter

Just dream Jacob’s ladder

Beyond earth’s atmosphere flatter

Just await rescues answer

Beyond what caused shatter

 

Just choose to stay

Beyond the hurt betray

Just live each day

Beyond one more today

Just outlast sun’s rays

Beyond horizons leveled ways

 

Just climb mountain peaks

Beyond valleys low steep

Just swim above ocean’s sleep

Beyond mistakes sinking deep

Just soar updrafts keep

Beyond storm clouds leap

 

Just be to do

Beyond with love prove

Just see vision anew

Beyond if darkness grew

Just accept yourself overdue

Beyond guilts shame unglue

 

Just as you are

Beyond your reflections star

Just outlive fear spar

Beyond what’s near and far

Just a needed spark

Beyond out flames dark

 

Just trust faith girth

Beyond a miracles birth

Just trust hope girth

Beyond the miracles rebirth

Just trust love girth

Beyond your miracles worth

 

Just beyond future know reward of an open door

Just beyond fight show as mentor in the war

Just beyond fright grow to restore all the more

Just beyond fear go outpour into others implore

Just beyond freedom overflow encore overcoming what once was before

A world turn to ice

Rotation seems to stop -test

The roll of the dice

 

Grow up to release stress

Resistance to change

Succumb to nevertheless

 

Desire to be someone

Lost in the night from days depressed

Fade with disappearance of the sun

 

Where becomes the focus more or less

Inward view at darkness strange

Hell on earth felt with mental illness

 

Battle is in my mind

Life or death hangs in the balance hard pressed

Can’t help but look for a sign

 

Negative thoughts overtake intense

Fear and doubt narrows outlooks range

Future dread, past enchains, present in suspense

 

Let go self care

Minimalizing nourishment starving inside as my guest

Brain eating itself deceiving now aware

 

Cold heart mourn trespassed east to west

Soul torn in unrest

Frozen spirit forlorn tests distressed

Mind stuck on warning/warning/warning/warn?!. digress

Perfect storm enters inside to derange

Panic stricken hidden within head’s walls torments

 

Suicide has access

How come I acquiesce

Open the door, crossed the line oppressed

 

Suicidal hours pass suppress

Relentless until possess -success?!.

Drown out voices in excess

 

No such attempt a success…

Come up for air with will still to live reassess

Arise soaken wet convalesce

 

Hitch a ride back to civilization egress

At a loss that death somehow did outguess finality this time, how to process?

Did I go too far with the way I transgress?

 

Parents sullen expression hopeless -turn their back and walk away

My only hope is Heaven above to hear my cries to HIM confess

Scared the enemy stalks in this darkness; hearing breaths closing in for attack as I pray

 

In time JESUS answers to rescue, restore, redeem to repossess

Relationship with the LORD reestablished over the years with interchange

Taken back into the sheepfold to learn trust has been an ongoing process

 

All HE did for me I can’t express fully in my writings or with my spoken words, but I try

Yet, JESUS, is HIS precious name I will forever profess

Since HE has heard my wavering cries, I will walk with HIM no longer to deny for faith, hope, and love now unto others apply…

 

Frozen ice melts with the SON press on Heavenward progress

Saves lives, softens hearts, sanctifies minds, sets spirits free in wondrous and beautiful exchange

Casts out fear with perfect love HE has won to bless…

  

Image result for jeremiah 29:11-14

Faith will find a way

Find a way to hold on

Walk In the race until agree to run

Tend to while fighting the good fight

 

Hope will find a way

Find a way to carry on

To taste and see what HE has won

Send igniting into the night within the Light

 

Love will find a way

Find a way to overcome

To embrace and receive the SON

When delighting desires become set aright

 

Grace will find a way

Find a way to soar above

Through every storm have sufficiency enough

Lend Mighty Right Hand uplift for HIS vision in sight

 

Mercy will find a way

Find a way through push and shove

Cover over, found beneath, until arise a diamond in the rough

Defend as High Priest if broken and contrite

 

Compassion will find a way

Find a way to lift others up

Fill to overflowing my empty cup

Again and again give what’s needed beyond the fright of any plight

 

Faith will find the truth

Find the truth that sets free

Set free in the SON indeed

Abide in HIM to grow

 

Hope will find the truth

Find the truth to hold and keep

Debts paid move forward always believe

Guide into the Light reflect to show

 

Love will find the truth

Find the truth to just be 

Let it enter in daily to receive

Subside the fears, until cast aside, for love to forever know

 

Grace will find the truth

Find the truth to speak

Fret not to take a stand against the enemy

Decide to be in HIS will with seed for the sower to sow

 

Mercy will find the truth

Find the truth to grieve

Get back up no longer deceived

Hide under shelter of HIS wings until an arrow in HIS bow

 

Compassion will find the truth

Find the truth for others reach

Forget not where you came from with their pain conceive

Arrive on the scene to resuscitate no matter the injury or how far they’ve fallen below

 

Faith will find the life

Find the life few will find, even so, choose to breathe

Leapt to discover what only HE can do with me

Tried as gold refined by fire seven times aglow

 

Hope will find the life

Find the life with desires come to fruition when unto HIM heed

Secrets of HIS Heavenly wisdom enter in to succeed

Ride on the heights to newly dream to where HE leads go

 

Love will find the life

Find the life to do the same sincerely

Kept in HIS grips equipped meek and holy

Wide, long, high, and deep is this love of Christ that overflows

 

Grace will find the life

Extending to reach any in need with HIS wings beneath

Regrets left behind press on for Heavenward’s prize to seek

Died to sin made alive in Christ to walk the straight and narrow

 

Mercy will find the life

Find the life I don’t deserve because HE heard my pleas

Outlet for others to come to know HIM from their chains be released

Beside HIM open to be who I’m meant to be pure as white snow

 

Compassion will find the life

Find the life to become compassion perceived to those in need

Interprets what to pray and then stretch out hand for healing to relieve

Confide in HIM here and now into eternity ever ready to understand however many tomorrows bestow

Image result for faith, hope love

Image result for grace mercy compassion

Somehow will

Feel my way

Until I find YOU

 

Press on still

Heal I pray

Will You bind up their wounds

 

Somehow fill

Appeal one day

Thrill to shine into

 

All those hurting ill

Real hope turns away dismay

Will faith prevail soon

 

Somehow fulfill

Kneel, walk, obey

Skill of love never to fail within HIM; Triune

 

Somehow….Come now…Some way…Some day…

 

Will happen in Your timing

Faith not so blinding

Hope and a future aligning

Pure true Love finding

For new life unwinding

Mercy and compassion reminding

Until LIGHT cascades over the darkness eternally shining

When you’re ready, you will trust in GOD again… you have that choice, you own that decision only you can make, you have the will to empower trust in HIM whenever you want to practice it…

Trust is a heart and soul thing that grows after you set your mind to begin the endeavor again… You can learn to trust in HIM with moments (like your move to a new place) and choose to trust HIM for healing (like your lifelong journey through trauma/abuse to triumph/astounding) whenever you want… When you fall back to not trusting, from that low point and helpless perspective; you can once again look up in trust to your Heavenly FATHER who gives good gifts and wants to love and care for you… You may choose to trust in moments or a daily decision through prayer (prayer is turning to HIM in trust) and pouring out your heart (through talking to HIM out loud, quietly inside, or writing it out)…

You’re loved and cared for not matter what… You’ll get to know/relearn HIS love and care as you decide to trust when you choose to… I am proud of you when you choose to reach out to those weak in need of love and care… In your weakness, JESUS is strong… Being there for them in being who you are matters and is doing good despite what you may feel or think about yourself… You are showing faith in action; doing GOD’s will in doing HIS Word:

Psalm 41
1 Blessed are those who have regard for the weak;
the Lord delivers them in times of trouble.
2 The Lord protects and preserves them—
they are counted among the blessed in the land—
he does not give them over to the desire of their foes.
3 The Lord sustains them on their sickbed
and restores them from their bed of illness.

verse 1 “regard for the weak”; for me the orphans, for you may be anyone weak you reach out to (orphans, special needs children/adults, homeless, abused and neglected souls, widows/widowers, or elderly)

Focus on these Words above and let it become one of your life verses/life mantra…

These verses helped me hang on, believe and trust, and reach out and one day HE answered these promises in my own life… These awesome Words came true through HIM and through me, for me, and in me… I still cannot fathom the turn-around in my life because of JESUS the Living and active Word bringing this about and GOD the FATHER’s mercy and compassion for me…

Look carefully and choose to believe and trust for these to be your benefits as well:

1) delivers them in times of trouble
2) protects and preserves them / does not give them over to the desire of their foes (who want to steal, kill, or destroy; suicide)
3) restores them from their bed of illness (physically or emotionally or mentally or socially or spiritually; for me all 5)

If HE did it for me; I know HE will do it for you… Why? because HE is true to HIS Word and desires to be faithful in a person’s life
When? in HIS timing; so difficult to wait I know (took years for me) maybe for you quicker than my experience
How? in small and grand ways along the journey; sometimes miraculously
Who? you (for you do have regard for the weak)
Where? inside you

I know I went through what I went through to be a help/support to others weaker… This is ultimately the outcome from what I didn’t think was fair, what I didn’t understand, why I was abandoned, why I was often alone in my trauma and not knowing why GOD wasn’t there bringing me through like I knew HE could; why it wasn’t right a way – yet waited for me to learn mercy and compassion at the core of who I am now… HE took me through the depths of darkness to reach out to anybody now with profound faith, hope, and love… with confidence in HIM and who HE is and what I now know HE can/will do…

Much of my trauma was self-inflicted (so full of guilt and shame) from turning away from GOD in rebellious youthful sin and desires being as lost as one can be. Yet I turned to HIM and HE still answered me… me? why me? why HE didn’t abandon me further? why did HE not leave me in my sin? HIS love is greater than anyone can know or fathom… Now I live to show HIS love I know and continue to attempt to fathom… If I didn’t learn through painful depths to know HIS love, mercy, and compassion; then how would I know HIM as HE is and learn that I could reach those who may be in need… HE will choose and use the weak and unlearned to profound the strong and wise… There is so much darkness and cruelty in this world. HE takes some of us through trauma and darkness so we can be a light that shines in it as HE rescues precious children, men, and women that need HIM… sometimes to reveal what HIS love is through us… We choose to pray for and be there present and intercede for them because we know… we understand… we will stand for them… we will choose to love… we will choose purity… we will love purely… Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see GOD (Matthew 5:8)…

You’re not a failure… You’re more than a conqueror through HIM who gives you strength… When you are weak come to HIM for rest… When you can’t do it anymore, wait on HIM for renewed strength… HE is faithful to HIS Word even when we are not…

Oh and let’s look at Psalm 41 vs. 4

I said, “Have mercy on me, Lord;
heal me, for I have sinned against you.”

What if we have sinned in some way!! Well I asked the LORD for mercy and to heal me of course… And so, HE healed me… me… and you?… you too!!!…

Ok! So you just got the wave from HIS ocean that was building within me to reach the shore of those needing mercy that will also be a blog post for my website that I have been wanting to write on Psalm 41 for a long, long while… I wrote this for you for sure; yet it is also for anyone else needing encouragement as well…

Feelings can only pick you up so much

Feelings that belittle can bring you down

Feelings come and go like coughs and hiccups

Feelings run amok or ebb and flow with undercurrent to drown

Feelings may overthrow until all you are is stuck

Feelings you only know will linger near or far to smile or to frown

Feelings will too soon betray, empty, and never fill your cup

Feelings will fight deep within leaving you wounded on the battleground

 

How will you show resistance to the enemy bent on killing and stealing

How will you get your deep need within for healing

How will you find an ever present help and a strong refuge never leaving from all that harms concealing

How will you be lifted from the pit of darkness that will grip you back into Light revealing

How will you grow in trust without ever kneeling

How will you go on in hope when your whole being is reeling

How will you overflow in faith to cope without the Holy Spirit sealing

How will you sow in love as 3 chord strand of rope appealing

 

JESUS is the only One who upon this Rock will pick you up

JESUS will lift your countenance bringing Heaven down

JESUS is a constant Refuge who never leaves nor forsakes when in a rut

JESUS runs to catch you amongst the waves so as not to fully drown

JESUS lifts you up from the mud and mire or deep pit with HIS mighty righteous right hand no longer to be stuck

JESUS knows you better than yourself so delight in HIM that joy may abound

JESUS, when you continually come to HIM, will eventually refill your cups

JESUS will give you HIS residing peace healing your wounds to run again in the race until in HIS arms you’re found

 

 

I reminisce…

Fight back;  persistence -found to be free

Temptations attack;  resistance -found purity

No slack;  repentance -found mercy

Take flak;  admittance -found family

Have a knack;  HIS assistance -found empathy

Back on track;  insistence -found grace aplenty

Heavy load unpack;  outdistance -found eternity

No more lack;  coexistence -found love fully

 

If it weren’t for the LORD to reminisce…

I would have torn apart;  ripped in pieces -so haunter makes remiss unsound into self-pity

What would be left if my soul deceases -no longer exist sound silenced empty

You rescued me in perfect love so fear ceases -daunter desist sound heart accept privily

You lighten burdens as Your peace increases -stronger to resist sound mind kept reassuringly

You’re the Giver of new life leases -song astir to persist sound spirit leapt freely

From our chains and our prisons You pardon releases -from wrongs turn away with grace assist sound joyfully adept with purpose and vision equipped fittingly

Dreams come true

When I’m with You

Love enters;  taken up in a new song -all is forgiven of wrong

Mercy centers;  awakens with the dawn -all fears within gone

Grace mentors;  forsaken not, unto Your will now drawn -I’ll follow along

 

Dreams come true

Awaiting strength to renew

Love abides;  in fields of green when reeling to lie down in rest

Mercy hides;  shields while healing what would oppress

Grace provides;  wields away enemies when dealing with trials and tests

 

Dreams come true

Delighting in the Truth

Love finds all that your heart desires to be

Mercy reminds all that your mind aspires to see

Grace shines on all that your soul inspires to free

 

Child’s play pass me by

Wake up to nightmare in the night

Why watch to let me die

Gave up on mercy and compassion deny

Choosing to laugh as my life gone awry

Waiting to see me break down and cry in fright

Locked away so walked away; darkness close tight -for you open day light

Mine left blind -yours the bright side with hope in sight

If you had stuck around why

You’d stand surprised with the dawn as I’d rise

Again and again I rise not giving up the fight

For the Savior for my soul came to find

Lift from the pit carry me home no longer mine

If not for HIM now in me shine, would’ve been left so far behind

HIS love is greater than past memories now forever remind

Of the rescue into new life HE will do, so not stuck in perpetual rewind