Anyway

I was down, down so low, in a pit solo

But let’s keep it on the down low

Why share how devastating it was?

Who would want to know, anyway?

Anyway, I held on by a thread of faith

My mind agonizing in the darkness for some peace to find

Anyway, I reached out blindly with my heart for hope

My eyes straining in the darkness for some light to appear

Anyway, I longed deeply with my soul for love

My emotions drowning in the darkness for someone to lift me up

Anyway, I pleaded insistently with my spirit for mercy

My past caving in, my present wearing thin, my future dimmed and ending?

Anyway, I continued breathing, I kept going, I continued living, I kept breaking

My entire life leading up to a tragedy?  I can’t believe all this! -yet me is still alive now in a nightmare? 

Anyway, I am shocked that my mortality is bared open in the frozen harsh elements where only demons jaunt and my enemy ready to pounce

My equilibrium is off to never never land and I don’t understand anything going on

Anyway, this can’t be happening cascading into fear, fading fast disappear? Awaiting at death’s door panicking here

My reality disintegrating after starving myself, attempting suicide, found myself in psychosis with no longer self-control, just a failure, just a waste, just a stumbling shell of what I once was

Anyway, HE showed me mercy, extended to me grace, cared for me with compassion to grow in faith, hope, and love when crawling learning to stand, when staggering yearning to walk, when tripping returning to run, when fainting burning to soar

My life was given back to me that I didn’t deserve and I couldn’t ever earn this gift

Anyway, I now carry on with how HE rescued, restored, and redeemed me…

I once was down, down so low, in a pit solo

But I have to share how I’m not there in that dreadful place anymore and no longer left alone…